Kid Interaction Training
March 2, 2018 8:20 AM Subscribe
I'd like to improve my ability to connect and work with kids. Something I see teachers and some parents have down pat. Is there actual training that can help? Or is this just something that I'll just have to get experience? I'm looking for actual training rather than tips and anecdotes. I'm in NYC if that helps.
In the summer I volunteer teaching tennis with kids ages 7 to 15. I get ok satisfaction on it but I kind of take it personally when the kids don't seem to be having ton of fun, not listening or getting upset due to losing etc. Obviously its not always ice cream and coco puffs, but sometimes I start looking forward to the end of the session, which I don't love that feeling.
We get training on how to make things fun, drills to do but it doesn't seem to stick with me or give me a ton of confidence.
Some of the other volunteers seem to have a second sense on how to deal with these situations-- and there is definitely support .
In the summer I volunteer teaching tennis with kids ages 7 to 15. I get ok satisfaction on it but I kind of take it personally when the kids don't seem to be having ton of fun, not listening or getting upset due to losing etc. Obviously its not always ice cream and coco puffs, but sometimes I start looking forward to the end of the session, which I don't love that feeling.
We get training on how to make things fun, drills to do but it doesn't seem to stick with me or give me a ton of confidence.
Some of the other volunteers seem to have a second sense on how to deal with these situations-- and there is definitely support .
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, regularly recommended hereabouts, would be valuable here for boosting confidence and comfort in kid interactions. Not sure it’s what you mean by “training,” but there are worksheets & exercises throughout the book. And while it focuses on parenting it’d be relevant for other solid relationships with kids as well.
posted by miles per flower at 8:46 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by miles per flower at 8:46 AM on March 2, 2018 [2 favorites]
Spend time with kids in a variety of other settings, and throughout the year. This might mean volunteering in a classroom once a week, or organizing/leading a park cleanup for kids to attend. There are all kinds of ways to be involved with kids in NYC.
Make friends with folks who have kids, and spend time with them regularly. Babysit, etc.
Mostly, just take it less personally. Kids are people, but they're also still learning how to be people. So they don't have all the politeness and emotion regulation stuff quite integrated into their systems.
posted by bilabial at 8:48 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Make friends with folks who have kids, and spend time with them regularly. Babysit, etc.
Mostly, just take it less personally. Kids are people, but they're also still learning how to be people. So they don't have all the politeness and emotion regulation stuff quite integrated into their systems.
posted by bilabial at 8:48 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
I think doing teacher training helped with this a bit for me. I will say that I’ve worked with kids of all ages literally around the globe for nearly a decade now. I really only connect with teenagers and toddlers. So while I’m sure there’s things you could learn it’s not even innate for people who it seems to be innate for.
posted by raccoon409 at 8:50 AM on March 2, 2018
posted by raccoon409 at 8:50 AM on March 2, 2018
Getting comfortable with my own full range of emotions made me 1000% more comfortable with kids.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:51 AM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 8:51 AM on March 2, 2018 [3 favorites]
Echoing St. Peepsburg and expanding: this sounds to me more like an inside-you issue than one that's between you and the kids. I would suggest that you spend some time getting to know your interior emotional landscape so that you don't take things personally. Kids have minimal filters, and they don't bullshit, which is simultaneously refreshing and challenging. What can you do to support yourself in NOT taking things personally?
posted by spindrifter at 9:14 AM on March 2, 2018
posted by spindrifter at 9:14 AM on March 2, 2018
Getting upset with a kid who hasn't mastered these things is a little like getting mad at a toddler for falling down when they are learning to walk.
Kids are a work in progress and we are there to model behavior and guide them.
I learned so much when I was a co-teacher in a classroom. She establish VERY clear but not harsh rules. She cheerfully enforced them and never seemed annoyed and lost her cool.
I would sit in a few times with trainer who just seems to "get it" and try those things.
posted by beccaj at 9:15 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Kids are a work in progress and we are there to model behavior and guide them.
I learned so much when I was a co-teacher in a classroom. She establish VERY clear but not harsh rules. She cheerfully enforced them and never seemed annoyed and lost her cool.
I would sit in a few times with trainer who just seems to "get it" and try those things.
posted by beccaj at 9:15 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
Here is a summary of various parent trainings available.
posted by SyraCarol at 10:00 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by SyraCarol at 10:00 AM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
My sense, as someone who has always been described as "good with kids", is that it's something you pick up by being around kids. I'm sure there are classroom trainings, but I'll bet that your colleagues who have the "second sense" grew up with much-younger siblings, cousins, neighbors, etc. If you've got any of those, or if you have friends with kids, just try hanging out with them for a bit.
I do like the idea of asking a colleague who's got the skills how they developed them, but the downside of that is that a lot of people who are "naturally" talented at something haven't really thought much about how to actually do that thing, so you might not actually get good answers.
Anything's possible, especially in New York, but as a parent, I'd be pretty reluctant to have my kid be part of a training where random people try to learn how to not be weird around kids.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:28 AM on March 2, 2018
I do like the idea of asking a colleague who's got the skills how they developed them, but the downside of that is that a lot of people who are "naturally" talented at something haven't really thought much about how to actually do that thing, so you might not actually get good answers.
Anything's possible, especially in New York, but as a parent, I'd be pretty reluctant to have my kid be part of a training where random people try to learn how to not be weird around kids.
posted by kevinbelt at 10:28 AM on March 2, 2018
One of the best classes I had for working with a group of kids was a play/game leading class in the recreation department at my college. I was doing a BA in Child Development, but most of the other students were Recreation or hospitality students. We mainly led games you would find in team building settings, so perhaps you can find a training not necessarily geared towards leading kids specifically. Even an improv kind of workshop might help. With kids you need clear boundaries, but a lot of the positive experience comes when you are able to adapt and improvise and expand on the first set of interactions or guidelines. Check your community college child development programs for trainings and workshops. Also, check in to your local childcare licensing or other family support agencies. The Child Resource agency local to me (California so no NYC help) runs trainings all year for care providers with a variety of topics.
posted by Swisstine at 10:32 AM on March 2, 2018
posted by Swisstine at 10:32 AM on March 2, 2018
Yes, there is actual training for this - it's why teachers and people who work with children have to go to school to learn how to do it, not just go into the classroom and get a feel for it or something that's just innate. I'd suggest taking a child development course that deals with the age of the children you want to interact with. If you can volunteer as a teacher aide and observe an experienced, knowledgeable, well-educated teacher at work, it will help.
posted by Gnella at 11:51 AM on March 2, 2018
posted by Gnella at 11:51 AM on March 2, 2018
How To Talk So Kids Will Learn is a special edition of the book recommended above, written specially for teachers. If the issue is that you don't know what to do or say when kids are having issues, then you might find a book like this gives you specific resources to use when some is frustrated or bad loser or bored and tired. It is much easier to stay motivated when you feel competent and confidence in yourself, even if some of the kids are having a bad day.
posted by metahawk at 5:13 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by metahawk at 5:13 PM on March 2, 2018 [1 favorite]
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Just be enthusiastic and have fun, try to make friends, make things into games or competitions. A lot of it is learned over time. I've found what works for me is making any task into some kind of game or competition gets most kids more excited than them going through the motions. "Whoever can get the most returns into the tennis cart today wins a candy bar!" would be a lot more fun than "okay, try and return these balls".
Some kids might tune out, but if any kids do care about winning, it's usually contagious. Hope this helps.
posted by bbqturtle at 8:33 AM on March 2, 2018