seriously, shut the f up

January 10, 2018 1:46 PM

I'm having a really hard time living in the world with constant noise. (Specifically: people on their cell phones; people watching stuff on their devices in public with their sound up; music I dislike; and random clicking, snorfling sort of noises that people tend to produce in otherwise quiet places, eg libraries.) What can I keep in my purse that I can use to block sound, really block it?

It needs to be something that can live in my purse (although if it needs recharging that might be ok; I can use a usb charger in the car.) Needs to be wearable. At this point I don't care how it looks; in fact, if it looks formidable enough to discourage people from talking to me, that's probably ideal.

I know about foam and wax blob earplugs but have not found them to be effective enough for what I need.

Grateful for help here.

posted by fingersandtoes to Health & Fitness (18 answers total)

Best answer: The obvious solution is some kind of sound-isolating earbuds. You want the kind that go inside your ear canal, Shure 215's being a popular example. They can block out sound almost as well as earplugs, but you can also put on some music to help mask or distract from other noises, and they can also signal to people that you don't want to talk.

(Active noise cancelling is also possible, but won't help with most of the noises you describe.)
posted by floppyroofing at 1:54 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh man, do I feel your pain. I'm exactly the same way. The lifesaver for me is the White Noise app. I use an iPhone, but I assume it's available for Android if that's your flavor. It has a number of sounds, but if I really need to block something, like some jackass listening to loud music on the train, the actual white noise sound on the app completely gets rid of it.
posted by holborne at 1:56 PM on January 10, 2018 [1 favorite]

I use Bose noise cancelling headphones with the Relaxio white noise app for Android when I'm on a subway, train, or airplane. My life has greatly improved.
posted by sockermom at 1:59 PM on January 10, 2018 [1 favorite]

They're too spendy for me to actually own a pair myself, but I think you want these Sony MDR-1000Xs. The noise cancelling is as good as Bose's, for actual music-playing the bass and treble are smoother in my (all-too-brief) experience, and the Quick Attention touch control (cup your right ear to turn off the noise-cancelling if you *do* have to hear or speak) is a nice feature. They also play well with glasses and adjust to your face/hair shapes.
posted by halation at 2:13 PM on January 10, 2018

Best answer: I feel the way you do about "ambient" noise and my bed partner has sleep apnea (the loud snoring kind), which is to say, I am a connoisseur of earplugs. I've tried countless versions and I can tell you with great authority that Mack's Silicone Earplugs are the best IF you achieve a seal (to be fair Bose noise cancelling headphones are on par or better for certain types of noise but you said you are looking for something that fits in your purse).

To achieve a seal: use one hand to pull your ear down while having your mouth slightly open, then press the silicone blob down molding it to your ear opening, until you hear nothing but the low rumbling of blood in your own head, which will take about half a minute. Seriously, if you do not achieve that seal you will think the earplugs do not work - but once you do the noise blocking will be magical and pretty close to 100%. For me they block off my phone alarm, my husband snoring and even my kid screaming "I am dooone sleeeeeeeping!!!!" in the morning. The plugs come 6 pairs to a package but you do not necessarily need one for each ear - you can split each earplug in two, it works just as well as two whole ones for me. You can reuse them for up to a week until they get kind of stiff and don't mold as well anymore.
posted by rada at 2:16 PM on January 10, 2018 [16 favorites]

Best answer: When I took the bar, some test takers really lived by the mantra "silence is golden." The ones who were most serious used the gel earplugs, and on top of that wore gun-range earmuffs. Something for sound protection.

They reported that the silence was unsettling. Of course, that was in a relatively quiet room, but you may find that with regular noises like this, it is plenty silent.
posted by China Grover at 2:18 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Sound-isolating in-ear monitors/earbuds are a good idea (and I'll put in my usual plug for Comply foam tips, they're the best), though if you're using them for long periods of time, be sure to keep the volume at a low level. floppyroofing is correct that active noise cancellation is not likely to help you avoid the kinds of sounds you describe.

Be sure that you're using either foam tips or earplugs correctly to get the best result: roll, pull, hold.
posted by asperity at 2:27 PM on January 10, 2018 [4 favorites]

Best answer: I could never get the foam or silicone ones to fit (I have funny shaped ear canals). I asked an audiologist, and she happily fitted me with "musician's earplugs." They're custom-made to fit each ear. The standard format has a small filtered hole to permit some sound to get through; you can ask for a solid plug in that hole and wow howdy they are really quiet. US$180 for the first pair, $90 for subsequent.

(I recently wore them under external gun-range headphones in an MRI. There was only one noise that was loud enough to surprise me.)
posted by Jesse the K at 2:48 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]

Best answer: The Bose quiet comfort earbuds are great for this, but they are pricey. I use them all the time and even without music they work about 75% as well as those ginormous noise cancelling ear protectors they use at gun ranges. With music I can't hear much at all.
posted by Query at 3:12 PM on January 10, 2018

Best answer: I also went to an audiologist and had custom earplugs made. They were not nearly as good as the silicone ones. My subjective estimate is that the custom ones reduced noise by about 30%, while the silicone ones block the noise almost completely.

Something I want to clarify: I don't think "I have funny shaped ear canals" is relevant to silicone putty earplugs like the Mack's I recommended above because they sit on top of the ear opening without going in. (I too have funny shaped ear canals and could never get insertable earplugs to go in and stay in.)
posted by rada at 3:15 PM on January 10, 2018

Best answer: Oh my god noise is terrible. I wear little foam earplugs every night to sleep and sometimes at the grocery store just so I can get out with groceries and without causing a scene. I have discovered that they pair delightfully with the over-the-ear protection from Home Depot (a la China Grover, above) to block out almost everything.
Added bonus: wearing visible hearing protection mostly keeps people from talking to you.
posted by Vatnesine at 6:14 PM on January 10, 2018 [1 favorite]

I hate noise so much.

I used to live in New York and found the noise really stressful. I've relocated to another city and I find that I'm much less stressed out. I have more space and privacy, hear less of other people's noise, and though I'm bummed about having to own a car, driving time is usually blissfully quiet and I never have to commute listening to someone's leaky headphones, phone convo, gum, coughing, or extemporaneous sermons.

Moving is probably not a good answer to your question, but if you ever consider relocating I recommend including noise exposure in your current and anticipated locations as a factor. It makes a big difference in mental health for the sound sensitive.
posted by bunderful at 7:12 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]

Best answer: You know, a few days ago at work -- at a very large company which has open plan everything forever in every office uggggghhhhhh -- people were talking about noise cancelling headphones giving them headaches, and some are using shooter's ear protection instead, just to get quiet. I haven't tried it myself but I'm giving it a serious thought (especially since they seem pretty cheap to try, versus expensive noise cancelling with so many reviews and expensive price tags to consider). I guess some of them have filters to let speech through but that was the only consideration I picked up from the chatter. Maybe that's worth a -- forgive me -- shot?
posted by sldownard at 11:46 PM on January 10, 2018

Best answer: Be extremely careful if you try white noise to drown out other noise. Especially do not play white noise over non-IEM (non-sealing) earphones to drown out other noise. White noise has the power to damage your hearing well beyond its perceived level of loudness (due to its broad spectrum).
posted by kalapierson at 2:21 AM on January 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

Best answer: My ADHD means that every tiny noise draws my attention, so I get overstimulated really easily. I have tried many ways to deal with it in my cube-farm office. My best solution has been Bose noise cancelling earbuds or headphones (earbuds in my purse, headphones at my desk at work) in combination with playing something else, either music, nature sounds, babble tracks (like coffitivity) or instrumental, non-distracting music (like you can stream at focusatwill.com.) Basically, you physically block part of the noise, active-cancel other parts, and play something that will sort of smooth out the sonic landscape for the rest.

The Bose Quiet Comfort earbuds come in a small case that fits easily into a purse and I think they are fantastic for this kind of thing. Turning the noise cancelling on won't get everything but it will muffle sound and cut out the low frequencies, and if you then play your own music (or track of chirping birds or thunderstorms or babbling brooks or whatever) it is like a magic cone of peace. I can literally feel my shoulders easing down when I flip that switch. Aaaaah.

The Bose over the ear headphones are even better because they physically block more noise, but their case is bigger; it would fit into a tote bag but not a purse.

The Bose brand of noise cancelling headphones is far and away the best in the noise-cancelling space because Bose owns several key patents for active noise cancelling technology. I previously owned a pair of well-rated Audio Technica noise cancelling headphones, and after I got the Bose ones as a gift there was an obvious difference in the quality.
posted by oblique red at 11:51 AM on January 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Hey!! I feel your pain :( This type of earplug helps me relax at work! Also please pay extra attention when driving, crossing roads etc. with earplugs, because as irritating as it can be, sometimes the ambience noise helps us with noticing danger signals.
posted by Crookshanks_Meow at 11:38 PM on January 11, 2018

Best answer: I've had the Sony WH-1000XM2 headphones (the next generation of the ones linked above by halation) and they're amazing. Several people in my office have Bose QC35II and QC25, and we agree that the Sony's are better for both noise cancelling and sound quality.

There's a mobile app you can use to customize the noise cancelling, the sound stage, etc. I'm really impressed not just how they filter out the usual drone of background noise, but also speech and other noises not typically suited for noise cancelling. They're really great.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:13 PM on January 18, 2018

Response by poster: Thanks all! Thanks in particular to asperity for the pointer on how to correctly get the foam ones in there; that's made all the difference.

I started trying stuff on the cheap end. I ordered silicone Mack's plugs; Moldex foam ones; and a pair of Mpow gun range ear protectors to try.

The gun range covers delivered wonderful silence but were too uncomfortable for me to wear for much time, so I had to return them. (NB: for anyone who can wear them comfortably, I have no doubt they'd deliver total silence paired with earplugs.) I haven't tried the silicone ones yet.

But the little Moldex Pura-fit foam ones have been a revelation! I tried them at a cafe the other day, while reading a text I needed some concentration for. I put them in, using asperity's directions, right as I sat down. Two minutes later, six (!) men came in, sat down at the table adjacent to mine, and proceeded to have some sort of highly verbal meeting, with raised voices. This would ordinarily be enough to drive me from the place into the cold. But with the plugs correctly inserted - miraculously - the tones of their voice were muffled enough that I could not only ignore them, but CONTINUE TAKING NOTES ON MY TEXT and ENJOY MY READING.

And what's nice is that the Amazon package I bought was like 50 pairs for $10, so I've put a pair into every purse, laptop bag, and jacket pocket I have, and I'm feeling a little less pissy about having to be in public in general. Thanks, folks!
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:53 AM on January 21, 2018 [2 favorites]