Help me apply to grad school
January 10, 2018 10:48 AM Subscribe
I overcame immense adversity and put myself in a good place. I'm about to apply for grad school in a year (MFT or MSW... then PhD later?), and I am seeking advice on the following questions: (1) how do I address my academic infraction and misconduct in community college and (2) explain my life story in my personal statement without sounding off-putting or making excuses for the latter?
Hi MeFites! Thank you in advance for taking time out of your day to answer my question. I am looking at applying to MFT or MSW programs in a year, with the possibility of going to a PhD program after, and I am stumped at how to handle my academic infraction and misconduct in community college. There is no question that I will be transparent and contrite -- however, I want to know how to address them in applications and interviews to convey that I am.
In the same community college, I have a non-academic misconduct (behavioral related) in 2012, academic dishonesty (plagiarism) in 2015, and a year-long suspension that followed.
Initially, I was unapologetic about my actions and resistant to the lessons they were trying to teach me by denying, lying, minimizing, and threatening to appeal their decisions (which I didn't go through with). I was an angry, immature, and marginalized young adult who was hurt by my family, and after running away, I learned that there were no societal safety nets to fall back on. I felt hurt by our institutions' moral failings to provide me with basic human needs, so why should I act with integrity as well?
I didn't soften up until I transferred to a 4-year college. I came to realize why morals exist -- even if other people or institutions did not live up to their moral responsibility sometimes, we should all strive to create a trusting and safe society where we could let our guards down. This applies to all aspects of life: e.g., I do not want to live with constant suspicion that my spouse may be unfaithful or that my doctor may be unethical. In this case, I am sorry that it took a significant amount of time and effort from educators/administrators to discipline me; if I could go back in time, I would not have plagiarized and acted disruptive, but instead, learned how to write a paper.
----
Secondly, I want advice on how to address my life story in my personal statement without sounding off-putting or making excuses for my academic infraction and misconduct in community college. They typically ask something along the lines of "Why do you want to be in a MFT/MSW program?" without any specific guidelines on what to write about. The personal statement examples I read sounds a bit TMI because applicants commonly reveal their personal lives as a catalyst for wanting to help others. This is where I need your advice because there seems to be a fine line between using my story to my advantage and being off-putting.
So a little bit about me:
-My grandparents/parents were factory workers with little education.
-I was born in a narcissistic family system where I was the classic scapegoat.
-I experienced emotional/physical/sexual abuse.
-I tried to kill myself a few times.
After twenty years, I cut them off and ran.
-I was homeless, the "couch surfing" variety.
-I stayed in abusive relationships because I had nowhere to go.
-At some point, I was a kept woman to men who could be my grandfather.
-In the meanwhile, I made up a middle and high school education in community college, fulfilled my GE requirements, and major prerequisites.
After 5 years of going to 3 different community colleges on-and-off, I transferred to a top 20 university.
-I couldn't handle the rigors of university at first, but eventually I learned better study habits and time management. I am finishing strong.
-I have health insurance, which I didn't have for years, and am going for EMDR treatments for CPTSD. Flashbacks and abandonment depression has reduced.
-I learned how to be in appropriate, non-abusive relationships that are free from my attachment issues (for the most part).
-I integrated into a "better" culture at university. I carry myself in a "nonghetto" way, which helped me attract a partner from a higher socioeconomic class in my journey of upward mobility.
And these are the reasons why I am interested in psychotherapy and specializing in trauma and couples and family therapy.
Thanks again for your help!
Hi MeFites! Thank you in advance for taking time out of your day to answer my question. I am looking at applying to MFT or MSW programs in a year, with the possibility of going to a PhD program after, and I am stumped at how to handle my academic infraction and misconduct in community college. There is no question that I will be transparent and contrite -- however, I want to know how to address them in applications and interviews to convey that I am.
In the same community college, I have a non-academic misconduct (behavioral related) in 2012, academic dishonesty (plagiarism) in 2015, and a year-long suspension that followed.
Initially, I was unapologetic about my actions and resistant to the lessons they were trying to teach me by denying, lying, minimizing, and threatening to appeal their decisions (which I didn't go through with). I was an angry, immature, and marginalized young adult who was hurt by my family, and after running away, I learned that there were no societal safety nets to fall back on. I felt hurt by our institutions' moral failings to provide me with basic human needs, so why should I act with integrity as well?
I didn't soften up until I transferred to a 4-year college. I came to realize why morals exist -- even if other people or institutions did not live up to their moral responsibility sometimes, we should all strive to create a trusting and safe society where we could let our guards down. This applies to all aspects of life: e.g., I do not want to live with constant suspicion that my spouse may be unfaithful or that my doctor may be unethical. In this case, I am sorry that it took a significant amount of time and effort from educators/administrators to discipline me; if I could go back in time, I would not have plagiarized and acted disruptive, but instead, learned how to write a paper.
----
Secondly, I want advice on how to address my life story in my personal statement without sounding off-putting or making excuses for my academic infraction and misconduct in community college. They typically ask something along the lines of "Why do you want to be in a MFT/MSW program?" without any specific guidelines on what to write about. The personal statement examples I read sounds a bit TMI because applicants commonly reveal their personal lives as a catalyst for wanting to help others. This is where I need your advice because there seems to be a fine line between using my story to my advantage and being off-putting.
So a little bit about me:
-My grandparents/parents were factory workers with little education.
-I was born in a narcissistic family system where I was the classic scapegoat.
-I experienced emotional/physical/sexual abuse.
-I tried to kill myself a few times.
After twenty years, I cut them off and ran.
-I was homeless, the "couch surfing" variety.
-I stayed in abusive relationships because I had nowhere to go.
-At some point, I was a kept woman to men who could be my grandfather.
-In the meanwhile, I made up a middle and high school education in community college, fulfilled my GE requirements, and major prerequisites.
After 5 years of going to 3 different community colleges on-and-off, I transferred to a top 20 university.
-I couldn't handle the rigors of university at first, but eventually I learned better study habits and time management. I am finishing strong.
-I have health insurance, which I didn't have for years, and am going for EMDR treatments for CPTSD. Flashbacks and abandonment depression has reduced.
-I learned how to be in appropriate, non-abusive relationships that are free from my attachment issues (for the most part).
-I integrated into a "better" culture at university. I carry myself in a "nonghetto" way, which helped me attract a partner from a higher socioeconomic class in my journey of upward mobility.
And these are the reasons why I am interested in psychotherapy and specializing in trauma and couples and family therapy.
Thanks again for your help!
Response by poster: The schools I am interested in asks.
posted by squirtle at 10:53 AM on January 10, 2018
posted by squirtle at 10:53 AM on January 10, 2018
In your previous questions it looks like you mention having bipolar disorder. When I was re-applying to undergrad after flunking out in part because of bipolar disorder symptoms, I was allowed to submit a letter from my psychiatrist indicating that a) the stuff that happened previously was due to an untreated/undiagnosed condition and b) I am currently in treatment, compliant w/ medication, and the psychiatrist was confident the behavior won't repeat itself. This was integral in getting me back into school in such a way that I actually had a chance to graduate with a decent GPA (otherwise they may have let me back in but with a transcript full of Fs)
I don't have any advice as to what to include/omit from your application because I've never applied to grad school but that letter was a big deal and weighed things a lot in my favor.
posted by griphus at 11:05 AM on January 10, 2018 [5 favorites]
I don't have any advice as to what to include/omit from your application because I've never applied to grad school but that letter was a big deal and weighed things a lot in my favor.
posted by griphus at 11:05 AM on January 10, 2018 [5 favorites]
I've worked in higher education for several years and while I haven't been part of admission decisions, I've been privy to many conversations about them. In my experience, they're looking for students with a history like yours to take responsibility for past decisions, show how they've overcome obstacles, and indicate their ability to succeed in the program to which they're applying.
posted by shesbookish at 11:18 AM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by shesbookish at 11:18 AM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
And these are the reasons why I am interested in psychotherapy and specializing in trauma and couples and family therapy.
That's your answer. Explain your challenges (and take responsibility for them), tell how you overcame them (ideally in a way that relates to your field), and then explain how those experiences informed your desire to go into this field and help others.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 11:18 AM on January 10, 2018 [3 favorites]
That's your answer. Explain your challenges (and take responsibility for them), tell how you overcame them (ideally in a way that relates to your field), and then explain how those experiences informed your desire to go into this field and help others.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 11:18 AM on January 10, 2018 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I've read admissions apps in other contexts, not M.S.W., but I would avoid the therapy language (narcissistic system) and be forthright, but sparing of detail, in discussing previous difficult circumstances. You don't want to give the reader the impression that you haven't yet established healthy boundaries. Go into much more detail about your impressive accomplishments in the face of that (briefly-described) adversity. You're lucky in that you're applying to programs where readers are probably better-equipped than most to fill in the implications of your life history.
Be totally, 100%, honest about the circumstances of your suspension. Take the responsibility completely on yourself. I'll be frank, it's so recent that you may have trouble overcoming it, but, generally, people are looking for evidence that you have learned to be honest and accept responsibility for your actions since. Don't undermine this by being at all evasive in your narrative. You don't need to spend hundreds of words on it, but you do have to make sure that the story you tell is true and complete. (I once read an application by someone who had gotten into the kind of trouble that makes the cultural section, and they made it easy for us to reject them by minimizing and dodging responsibility.)
However, this:
I integrated into a "better" culture at university. I carry myself in a "nonghetto" way, which helped me attract a partner from a higher socioeconomic class in my journey of upward mobility.
might actually play well with some people, but they'd be bad people. It's an awful self-loathing classist (and borderline racist, depending on circumstances) way to describe yourself, so I'd try to jettison this way of describing and conceiving my accomplishments. Richer people aren't better. A better-off partner is not in himself an accomplishment to mention. Bragging about being "nonghetto" just shows that you haven't yet resolved the shame and fear unjustly imposed on the poor for being poor. Furthermore, to the extent you're using that as a synonym for "professional" and "civil," you're talking about something that people in university admissions offices would regard as a baseline so basic that even suggesting that you consider it an accomplishment to have reached will raise eyebrows.
Good luck!
posted by praemunire at 11:54 AM on January 10, 2018 [12 favorites]
Be totally, 100%, honest about the circumstances of your suspension. Take the responsibility completely on yourself. I'll be frank, it's so recent that you may have trouble overcoming it, but, generally, people are looking for evidence that you have learned to be honest and accept responsibility for your actions since. Don't undermine this by being at all evasive in your narrative. You don't need to spend hundreds of words on it, but you do have to make sure that the story you tell is true and complete. (I once read an application by someone who had gotten into the kind of trouble that makes the cultural section, and they made it easy for us to reject them by minimizing and dodging responsibility.)
However, this:
I integrated into a "better" culture at university. I carry myself in a "nonghetto" way, which helped me attract a partner from a higher socioeconomic class in my journey of upward mobility.
might actually play well with some people, but they'd be bad people. It's an awful self-loathing classist (and borderline racist, depending on circumstances) way to describe yourself, so I'd try to jettison this way of describing and conceiving my accomplishments. Richer people aren't better. A better-off partner is not in himself an accomplishment to mention. Bragging about being "nonghetto" just shows that you haven't yet resolved the shame and fear unjustly imposed on the poor for being poor. Furthermore, to the extent you're using that as a synonym for "professional" and "civil," you're talking about something that people in university admissions offices would regard as a baseline so basic that even suggesting that you consider it an accomplishment to have reached will raise eyebrows.
Good luck!
posted by praemunire at 11:54 AM on January 10, 2018 [12 favorites]
I'll be frank, it's so recent that you may have trouble overcoming it, but, generally, people are looking for evidence that you have learned to be honest and accept responsibility for your actions since.
When I was looking into law school applications, the advice for this kind of thing was to let time pass and show you have changed through solid work experience. I remember the usual recommendation being to work for 3-5 years before applying.
2015 is very recent. I think you would be well-served by working for a bit longer than you had planned, and then applying. It will move the academic dishonesty incident further into the past, give you a chance to get more references from bosses, etc, who can speak to your trustworthiness, and, in all likelihood, give you enough distance and perspective that it's easy to explain what happened and how you have changed. That could be very valuable. Grad school committees like to have candidates who have worked for a bit anyway.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:39 PM on January 10, 2018 [4 favorites]
When I was looking into law school applications, the advice for this kind of thing was to let time pass and show you have changed through solid work experience. I remember the usual recommendation being to work for 3-5 years before applying.
2015 is very recent. I think you would be well-served by working for a bit longer than you had planned, and then applying. It will move the academic dishonesty incident further into the past, give you a chance to get more references from bosses, etc, who can speak to your trustworthiness, and, in all likelihood, give you enough distance and perspective that it's easy to explain what happened and how you have changed. That could be very valuable. Grad school committees like to have candidates who have worked for a bit anyway.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:39 PM on January 10, 2018 [4 favorites]
I would recommend contacting a couple of faculty members whose work interests you to discuss your interest in the program. 2015 isn't that long ago and plagiarism is taken very seriously in academia, so I suspect you will have trouble getting in without someone internal advocating for you. Try to be professional in your interactions- avoid a long, detailed description of your problems. You could sum up what you posted here with something like "after a tumultuous upbringing with little family or financial support, as well as health issue, I struggled early in my academic career and made mistakes." Then go on to say how you overcame these issues and describe your recent achievements and successes, your career goals, and why you think the program is a good fit.
Seconding Snarl above, I do think having a year or two of work in a professional setting (even in an entry level position) would dramatically improve your chances of admission. Ideally this would be a job in social work of some sort, or something related to your field of interest. Best of luck to you and congratulations on getting yourself on the right track.
posted by emd3737 at 2:11 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
Seconding Snarl above, I do think having a year or two of work in a professional setting (even in an entry level position) would dramatically improve your chances of admission. Ideally this would be a job in social work of some sort, or something related to your field of interest. Best of luck to you and congratulations on getting yourself on the right track.
posted by emd3737 at 2:11 PM on January 10, 2018 [2 favorites]
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posted by crazy with stars at 10:51 AM on January 10, 2018