A very specific question about a very frustrating social network.

November 18, 2017 4:23 PM

In a fit of alcohol-induced brazen networking, I sent a Facebook friend request to someone I've been wanting to connect with. Now, much more sober, we are not connected, and I see the default "Add Friend" button on their profile instead of the "Friendship Request Sent" icon that usually shows up when a request has been sent but neither accepted nor rejected. I know one possible explanation is that the request was already received and rejected -- but what if I actually never pressed the button?

I think the likelihood that I accidentally didn't click the button (or drunkenly clicked it twice, canceling the request) is at least as high, if not higher, than that this person would summarily reject the request. Is there any way to access a log of all the friend requests I have ever sent? I am already aware that I can see a list of my currently outstanding requests, but that doesn't help me distinguish between requests that were never sent and requests that have already been rejected.

From clicking around the Facebook Help Center and Quora and the like it seems like this used to be available in the Activity Log, but now Activity Log appears to only show new Friends, not the requests themselves. If need be I will download an app to figure this out.

posted by telegraph to Computers & Internet (5 answers total)

Apparently if you send someone a friend request and they decline it, you are forbidden from sending another friend request. So if you still have the option to friend this person, your first request never actually went through.
posted by ejs at 4:46 PM on November 18, 2017

ejs, that’s not correct - per Facebook,

When you receive a friend request from people you don't wish to be friends with, you can decline by simply selecting "Ignore." Doing so will remove the request from your Requests list. They will not be notified that their friend request was declined, but they will be able to send you another friend request in the future.

I know I’ve declined multiple requests from the same person in the past, though it was a few years ago now.
posted by insectosaurus at 5:19 PM on November 18, 2017 [1 favorite]

Dude, just MeMail me if you want to test it out. You can send me a friend request and I'll reject it, and then we'll see what it looks like. (I get the anxiety over situations like this...)
posted by unannihilated at 5:59 PM on November 18, 2017 [20 favorites]

Can you also look at your activity history? I think it shows you things like friend request sent, comments made, pages liked, etc.
posted by stillmoving at 10:51 PM on November 18, 2017

I know nothing about facebook except that I'm too cool for it, but I'm not seeing the problem here: send them another request now that you're sober - at best they accept, at worst they click Ignore again and maybe are marginally more annoyed at you.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:51 AM on November 19, 2017