Clever commitment contracts for personal life

October 30, 2017 11:08 AM

Sometimes I need a little shove to do things, especially things that require awkward conversations. For example, if I haven't had Important Feelings Conversation with Boyfriend by 11:59pm tomorrow, I've promised my best friend that I'll make a $100 donation to a reprehensible charity. What other commitment devices can I use to kick my own ass into gear?
posted by schroedingersgirl to Human Relations (8 answers total)

Best answer: What you have described is basically a punishment for inaction.

You might also consider rewarding yourself for doing the action, either via positive reinforcement (you get a cupcake) or negative reinforcement (you don’t have to do some other chore that day).

YMMV, generally positive and negative reinforcement work better at generating a desired behavior than punishment. Or at least so my college psych teachers said.
posted by SaltySalticid at 11:33 AM on October 30, 2017 [6 favorites]

Remove distractions and don't do _other_ things until you do the _important_ thing.
posted by amtho at 11:38 AM on October 30, 2017

Response by poster: Remove distractions and don't do _other_ things until you do the _important_ thing.

Not going to threadsit, but it was this simple for me, I wouldn't be asking this question.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 11:39 AM on October 30, 2017 [9 favorites]

Best answer: I’ve had success with stickk.com

You set up a binding agreement with yourself and you can choose to put money on it, that can go to either a charity you support or one you loathe (my choice- very effective for me!)

You can also choose to have a friend be a referee if you like being accountable to someone.

I set up a contract for 8 weeks to change a bad habit and it was the push I needed to make a longer-term change.
posted by bighappyhairydog at 11:44 AM on October 30, 2017 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Are you looking for a shove for one-time items, or building ongoing habits? If ongoing habits then Beeminder might be useful to you.
posted by dttocs at 11:56 AM on October 30, 2017 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Are you looking for a shove for one-time items, or building ongoing habits?

Both are welcome, thanks!
posted by schroedingersgirl at 11:58 AM on October 30, 2017

Best answer: Looks like some people are discussing accountability partnerships in this MetaTalk thread.
posted by delight at 5:44 PM on October 30, 2017 [1 favorite]

If you're open to reward rather than punishment, as SaltySalticid suggests, I recommend the basic mechanism described in The Power of Habit (flowchart), which is basically:

* cue
* routine
* reward

I've recently experimented with using this method to cut down on wasting time reading stuff on the internet, and it was surprisingly effective - after the first two weeks, I really didn't even feel the craving anymore.
posted by kristi at 10:25 AM on November 2, 2017