Help me name our wi-fi network
August 25, 2017 5:09 AM   Subscribe

I see all these clever wi-fi network names and I get so jealous. Why can't we have that? Wait. With your help, maybe we can!

OK. We just moved and we've set up our network again, but we simply carried over the old name. A new place seems like an opportunity for a fresh start. So I want to ditch our boring wi-fi network name and replace it with one that dazzles people with wit and creativity. Is that so much to ask?

Our current network name is a combination of our initials: BK and DS. Snooze.

Here are parameters and possible inspiration:

- Nothing dirty or threatening. (So no suggestions of hacking or risqué puns.)

- Puns on connectivity, networking, etc. are welcome but not necessary.

- We live in a French-speaking area but are Anglophones ourselves and there are other Anglophones around. Maybe something that works in French and English? Or plays off a combination of the two languages?

- He's an accountant; I'm a cookbook writer. We both work from home. (But something like "cooking the books" would only be funny(ish) to us -- the ideal name would make other people smirk/smile/guffaw.)
posted by veggieboy to Computers & Internet (40 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Chez Burger.
posted by sukeban at 5:29 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]


personally I have a few network names that I rotate through...
     - tell my wifi i love her
     - no man's LAN
     - hide yo kids, hide yo wifi
     - SSID Vicious
     - get off my LAN
     - series of tubes
posted by sephira at 5:41 AM on August 25, 2017 [18 favorites]


There are obviously tons of LAN puns: 'this LAN is my LAN', 'LAN before time', 'wu tang LAN', and so on. The other puns tend to be on 'WIFI': 'Pretty Fly for a WiFi', ''Bill Wi The Science Fi' etc.

Mine is currently 'mysterymeat'.
posted by pipeski at 5:53 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Wi are the champions, my Fi
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 5:53 AM on August 25, 2017 [7 favorites]


certified public wifi
posted by michaelh at 6:13 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


As a closet extrovert, my go to has always been " it's always the quiet ones."
posted by jacy at 6:13 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


There are two in our apartment building that always make me laugh when I see them:

"Abraham Linksys" and "John Wilkes Bluetooth"
posted by briank at 6:52 AM on August 25, 2017 [16 favorites]


WANbulance
posted by Automocar at 7:03 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Being a Star Trek fan, I named our network "Warp Ten".
posted by Roger Pittman at 7:05 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


You can use emoji in wifi networks names. It can depend on your router though, and older devices might not be able to connect.
posted by simonar at 8:05 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


I suppose +++ATH NO CARRIER would be too obscure these days?
posted by farlukar at 8:13 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


We have someone in our building with "Pretty Fly for a Wifi," which always makes me smile.

We have a main network and an extended one in our condo; both names always refer to something funny or weird that happened to us recently. Right now, they're "Perhaps a Sphere of Some Sort" and "Yet Another Sphere." We change them up often. Our in-building neighbors don't know what the network names mean, so it makes for easy, prefabricated ran-into-neighbors-in-the-hall/at-the-mailboxes small talk.

I have no idea if this will help, but I figured giving you some other examples of names or naming customs, and the fact that something that's only funny to you can bring about a nice convo with building-mates might inspire some other useful thoughts on your end.
posted by tzikeh at 8:17 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Re: amusing the French/English bilingual folks--

"Squirrel Shibboleth?"
posted by tzikeh at 8:19 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


It's a well known fact you always name things after Ian M. Banks' Culture novels ship names:

The Hand of God 137
Gunboat Diplomat
Not Wanted On Voyage
Fate Amenable To Change
“On First Seeing Jhiriit”
Ultimate Ship The Second
Liveware Problem
Youthful Indiscretion
Prosthetic Conscience
T3OU 118
Serious Callers Only
Misophist
Credibility Problem
Armchair Traveller
Minority Report
Attitude Adjuster
God Told Me To Do It
It'll Be Over By Christmas
Dramatic Exit
Perfidy
posted by signal at 8:25 AM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


Mine is currently "Winternet Is Coming" and the guest network is "Tyrion LANnister"

""Abraham Linksys" and "John Wilkes Bluetooth""

Ha, great minds think alike! Before we moved mine was Abraham Linksys and I was constantly trying to get my neighbor to name theirs "Router E. Lee"

I saw one that was like o--|======> and I liked that!

Some of my neighbors for a while, their kids kept changing the name of the wifi to mock their siblings -- just stuff like STACY IS A FARTFACE and BRIAN EATS BOOGERS but it was pretty amusing to watch.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:42 AM on August 25, 2017 [11 favorites]


What about "O LANada"? Abraham Linksys being a bit beside the point :D
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:44 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]


Family network of THIS LAN IS MY LAN and a guest network of THIS LAN IS YOUR LAN?
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 8:46 AM on August 25, 2017 [10 favorites]


Oui Fi
posted by castlebravo at 8:56 AM on August 25, 2017 [14 favorites]


One of my neighbours (I haven't yet been able to guess which) has "It hurts when IP".
posted by neilb449 at 8:58 AM on August 25, 2017 [4 favorites]


I'm a fan of (gently) ribbing on someone else's wifi name in the neighborhood. Mostly because I never actually know who they are or if they saw it so it's just a big mystery.

In fact, I think I may go set up my guest network option for the first time just to get another name to do that with.
posted by mosst at 9:00 AM on August 25, 2017


You could call your network "Click Here to Wipe Your Hard Drive."
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:02 AM on August 25, 2017 [6 favorites]


liberté, égalité, connectivité
posted by skewed at 9:47 AM on August 25, 2017 [5 favorites]


Ours is "Net Central Station", because the beau had just seen Wreck-It Ralph prior to setting it up.
posted by PearlRose at 10:04 AM on August 25, 2017


Oui, Oui this is our Wi-Fi
posted by JenThePro at 10:47 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


There's a private router in our area listed as "Nacho router"
posted by filthy light thief at 11:43 AM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Meatquake
posted by blue_beetle at 11:59 AM on August 25, 2017


You can also use emoji in the name. For example, guess which one my guest network here. (Works fine in all modern phone and computer operating system I've tried)
posted by rpn at 12:06 PM on August 25, 2017


Every node on our network is a Peanuts character and our WiFi is PeanutsGang.
posted by bluejayway at 12:35 PM on August 25, 2017


Thanks for the great answers, everyone. Emoji proved to be the key. Wasn't aware you could do that. And now I did.[imgur link]
posted by veggieboy at 1:19 PM on August 25, 2017


And it's not limited to one emoji character btw :)
posted by rpn at 1:20 PM on August 25, 2017


CSIS Surveillance Van #62
posted by jkaczor at 1:25 PM on August 25, 2017 [2 favorites]


CIA_Surveilance_Van always cracks me up.
posted by DrAstroZoom at 1:44 PM on August 25, 2017


Dammit, jkaczor! :)

How about WeAcceptCookies?
posted by DrAstroZoom at 1:46 PM on August 25, 2017


Heh... I am unfortunately not that original - years ago, twas my kids who wanted my to rename their wifi to "FBI Surveillance Van ##", but CSIS is more appropriate for us Canadians...
posted by jkaczor at 3:07 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Several hours later it suddenly struck me out of the blue that I should have gone with "O LANada, my home and native LAN" and that would have been a better joke. So here it is!
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:31 PM on August 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Our Mac network has been Aquanet forever
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:06 PM on August 25, 2017


I've always liked the 'FBI Surveillance Van' that's in my neighborhood.
posted by waitangi at 12:27 PM on August 26, 2017


Mine is currently "The Matrix"...
posted by Jade Dragon at 2:23 PM on August 26, 2017


My networks are always Jane Austen titles and song titles, but my next will be Hercules Mulligan.

I notice sometimes that my neighbors have "ThisIsNotYourWiFi" as theirs.
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 10:49 PM on August 26, 2017


Mine's "Wow, Thanks" after Steven Universe (it's something Peridot says a fair bit as an 'I love you'). I was hoping a neighbour would pick up on it but alas.
posted by divabat at 2:42 AM on August 27, 2017


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