Help me turn into the @$$hole customer who gets what they want
July 24, 2017 9:12 PM   Subscribe

I cannot get my apartment manager to fix anything. Help me become the asshole customer everyone hates in order to just get my fridge looked at.

So my current onsite apartment manager is pretty new to this stuff--been doing it about a year, they couldn't get anyone better gave her the job because something happened to the last one and then they needed a warm onsite body to do it, or something like that as far as I can tell. She is a nice enough person, but she has at least one kid and some kind of mystery illness and doesn't really get a whole lot done around here. She has a friend supposedly helping out, but I'm not sure if friend does much either.

So far I have managed to get (a) my key to move in, and (b) get my disposal fixed, both after several rounds of phone call nagging. Everything else I've called about (and I am not someone who is always calling with complaints, I really try not to do it unless I'm genuinely worried) gets ignored. Heater doesn't work in winter at all, toilet runs a lot....I'm not happy with that stuff but I can live with it since the heater only heats the ceiling and I have to use a space heater anyway to stay warm, and I'm not paying the water bill. I've complained at least 2-3 times per issue but unless it's urgent, they don't do shit around here. Frankly, it seems easier to wait until she decides to move or something and then we get a new person in there than try to get her and/or friend to get on the stick about something.

Example of how this goes: a few weeks ago I came home and discovered that my toilet had been running for like 9 hours since I last left the house and it took 20 minutes to get it to stop. However, this was on a Friday night. I called the manager only to find out she was out of the country. She called her friend, who dropped by to make sure the place wasn't flooded and said she hadn't been able to get a hold of a plumber on a Friday night. Said friend dropped by Sunday afternoon and said she still hadn't gotten a hold of a plumber. Never heard anything about this again.

However, my fridge is behaving incredibly dubiously and I don't think I can live with/ignore this one. I left a message this morning and of course haven't gotten called back. I'm sure they probably don't want to have to get me another fridge or a repairman or whatever.

But. I do customer service. I am harassed and harangued and nagged constantly. I do NOT want to do the sort of things people do to me in order to get what they want. I can't stand that shit, I don't want to inflict it on anyone else, regardless of how much they may or may not deserve that treatment. Also, I live here and don't plan on moving and don't want to ruin my reputation and become the complex bitch, and we all know that's incredibly easy to have happen if you're female.

So: how do I become the horrible bitch customer who gets what they want because they made someone else's life hell? Nag calls every day? Should I yell and scream? Call her boss? Is there any semi-polite way to get them to goddamned look at the fridge and do something about it without having to turn into a psycho asshole? Because the way things are going, I am feeling like I'm going to have to turn into someone I can't stand in order to get something to happen.
posted by jenfullmoon to Human Relations (16 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Where do you live? In my state, by law, the landlord must keep the heat at 67 degrees or higher in the winter. Complain to your city's health department or building inspection agency, and they will get after the property manager for you. "No heat" is an emergency and they handle it within 24 hours.

As far as the fridge, etc.,I would call the manager again and if she doesn't respond, tell her that since she's unavailable you're going to call her boss. I think you need to forget about finding the magic words to get your fridge fixed AND make the apartment manager like you. Don't yell or scream, that's abusive, but be persistent and assertive. Read the lease, read your city or county ordinances, and be prepared. I've gotten a lot done by calmly but firmly repeating my rights. People back down when they see I'm standing my ground. Yelling and screaming are weakness, not strength.
posted by AFABulous at 9:27 PM on July 24, 2017 [11 favorites]


Two ideas.

1) Framing! Call her up and say that the fridge is acting weird and probably needs maintenance or else a new one will be required because it will break. A ounce of prevention and all that. Escalate if no response.

2) Is her boss a (hetero) dude? Society programs us to want to play the role of Mr. Fix-It. Play the damsel in distress, but don't throw her under the bus in the process. Just claim you went around her because you didn't want to trouble her, since she's so busy (or w/e).
posted by axiom at 9:27 PM on July 24, 2017


In California, I twice found a landlord reacted to the phrase 'Repair and Deduct' with a scowl while he proceeded directly to cooperation.
posted by Homer42 at 9:33 PM on July 24, 2017 [11 favorites]


Polite and frequent calls, to start with.

When I have had a truly bad landlord, the only way I've been able to get anything done was to research my city's procedures for filing a complaint. The first step was sending a certified letter to my landlord explaining the problem and also asserting that I would be filing a complaint with the relevant authority (in my case, NYC's Housing and Preservation Department) if they didn't resolve the issue. I never had to escalate anything to the level of an official complaint - I think it was enough just to tell them "Hey, I know what my rights are, so there is a limit to how far I can be pushed around on this."

I've done customer service too, and I know how bad some customers can be, but if my organization were failing to provide a necessary service I would consider it absolutely appropriate to deal with a daily polite call about it.
posted by Jeanne at 9:34 PM on July 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


Money talks. Tell them if they are too busy to have someone come look at it, you will call someone on your own and deduct from the rent. First document asking them like a bizillion times. Or tow or three times.
posted by AugustWest at 11:57 PM on July 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


Don't be emotional, and be factual with the events and then precise with what you want to happen and when you want it to happen by. Don't demand anything unreasonable. Document everything. Follow everything up if it hasn't happened when you asked for it by.
posted by ryanbryan at 5:05 AM on July 25, 2017


This is highly dependent on the laws where you live. The fastest way to get results in some jurisdictions is to just stop paying rent until they fix things. You need to hold onto the money so you can pay back rent once it's fixed, though. Check your local tenants rights organization for what applies to you.
posted by empath at 5:36 AM on July 25, 2017


Maybe I've been lucky and have somehow mostly dealt with super nice people, but I've never had to go asshole to get things sorted out - the "more flies with honey" thing has totally been true, in my experience. (The one time I tried to play at being an asshole, the resolution took a lot longer than usual, and it felt shitty, and I didn't trust the result.)

Here, you've got an ongoing relationship, so I think it's best to think in the longer term and try to have things stay pleasant if you can.

It sounds like your building manager is more inept than ill-intentioned, has a lot going on, etc. Doesn't make your fridge work better, but at least you're not dealing with someone hostile.

Emphasize how much of an impact a non-working fridge has on you (money wasted on spoiled food, loss of sleep because of the sound, etc). You're really, really sorry to inconvenience her, because you know she's got a lot to worry about, but you really need your fridge to work. (And the toilet, the sound just gets to you... If she's sensitive / dealing with chronic illness, she'll get this.) And if there's anything you could do to help facilitate, you'd be glad to do it. Because she must have so much on her plate. Etc.

(Maybe coming up with a list of plumbers and fridge repair people would help? It's definitely not your job to do that, but if it'll expedite things, so what? Even suggesting doing that is also a bit of pressure, might help light a fire under her ass.)

Call her every day and kill her with kindness like that.
posted by cotton dress sock at 6:11 AM on July 25, 2017


Rental laws are highly dependent on location, so we can't really advise you unless we at least know your state. Not every state has "repair and deduct" laws and not every state allows withholding rent (and if they do, it often requires the money be put into an escrow account). You could make yourself legally vulnerable by doing these things if they're not allowed by law where you live. If you can't provide a location here, you'll have to do the research yourself on what specific remedies are allowed by your local and state laws. I suggest contacting a tenant's organization in your location. Also, check your lease to see what it says about appliances, maintenance and so-on. Your lease is a legal contract and they may be failing to meet their contractual obligations.

As you've found, calling can be next to useless with a bad apartment manager. You have two options. You can call her incessantly until she gets motivated to fix your issues, or you can put these requests for maintenance in writing. Written communication is preferable because it provides a paper trail that will help protect you from eviction, illegal deposit deductions after move-out, being sent to collections for alleged damages after move-out, or being sued. Also, it's harder for her to pretend she wasn't notified of the problem. Sending them via certified mail is advised, though even email would be helpful because it has a record of time and date. Lastly, always CC the main office of the management company when you send written communication.

When you write, you need to state what you want them to do and give them a time period to contact you and/or execute your request. 7-10 days is reasonable for non-emergency situations. Inform them in your letter that if they don't contact you within that time frame, you'll be forced to escalate the situation to their supervisor and take action using whichever legal remedies are afforded by your location (if that's repair and deduct, for example, state that in the letter).

Also, as mentioned above, escalate this issue. There should always be someone you can contact in an emergency and that person or group should always be able to contact emergency contractors to fix urgent problems. Is the manager's friend even employed by the rental company/complex? If not, that's not even remotely professional or acceptable and I'd be bringing this up with the upper management.

If you're concerned that your refrigerator is dangerous, unplug it. Call the main office and tell them that it's dangerous and you've already tried to get your manager to do something but she keeps letting it slide. While appliances aren't required as part of the warranty of habitability in many places, if they're included as part of your rental contract then them failing to repair or replace may be legally actionable. In any case, you should be raising the issue with people in the main office so they know that she's not doing her job.
posted by i feel possessed at 6:55 AM on July 25, 2017


I had a landlord once who wasn't interested in doing anything but cashing our rent check. If we wanted his attention on something, we had to call at least ten times. In a way, it was a winning strategy for him. If it wasn't that big a deal or that dire, we'd give up and either fix it ourselves or live with it. If it was a big deal, LIKE THE TIME PART OF THE ROOF BLEW OFF DURING A STORM, we would call and call and call. His voicemail would often be full. He rarely returned calls. We were always polite when we talked to him and he was reasonably polite back (in case you hadn't guessed, he was kind of an asshole) and rarely apologetic for his lack of communication.

We stated in that house for two years. The rent was cheap (for good reason) but we finally got sick of dealing with him. So, just call and call and call. Call everyday. And yeah, if you can send letters or emails, that's even better. Our douchelord was smart enough not to give us any other way to contact him. (I wish there was a Yelp for shitty landlords.)
posted by Aquifer at 8:28 AM on July 25, 2017


I agree with the 'polite and frequent' calls approach. Emphasize the impact/consequences of not having these things fixed - they will cost the apartment complex more money in long run, never mind that these issues affect your home life. If the manager (or the friend) is onsite, is there any way you can visit them in person, and ask them to come to the apartment to see the issues for themselves? Seeing you in person puts a face to the phone calls and humanizes the issue. If this doesn't work after X amount of time (X being a combo of what you can live with and what the legalities are in your area), I think you're well within reason to call the apartment manager's boss. Again, be polite and express your issues as how you're trying to solve what could turn into a long-term problem for them.

Maybe you could even ask them for the list of repair people/companies they use and if you could place the first call on the apartment's behalf. This seems like a step that could be asking for trouble - you don't want to be responsible for the bill after things have been repaired if it's on the apartment complex to pay (which I assume it is). However,if the repair company/person works in this complex frequently, maybe they have a a service contract, or procedure that would get you around the apartment manager's slowness to respond.

I hope you get these issues solved soon. Fridge issues are no joke and running toilets waste a lot of water.
posted by melissa at 8:49 AM on July 25, 2017


This person is taking advantage of the fact that you are afraid of being seen as a bitch. You have to stop being afraid of that because you are not going to be a bitch. If someone thinks poorly of you for expecting them to do their job and provide you with a working heater, toilet and refrigerator, that is their problem and not yours. A polite but firm and consistent attitude is what you need to cultivate. One message per day until she calls you back is not unreasonable. You need a reliable fridge and you don't need to explain why. When you leave each message, explain this is the 2nd (3rd, 4th, etc.) time that you have called and you would like to hear back from her today. After 3-4 daily messages, go above her head.

Letting the heater and toilet issues slide showed her that she might able to ignore your fridge issue, too. She can't; don't let her. You have food in there that cost you money and they are putting that money at risk. They are also putting your health at risk if you can't be sure the food is kept at a safe temperature.
posted by soelo at 8:50 AM on July 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


Not exactly directly related to getting building manager to do work, but if I were you, I would pull the refrigerator out from its spot and vacuum under it, and vacuum the coils in the back. Actually vacuum anywhere you can see that has dust/dirt. That may have a noticeable affect on its performance.
posted by AugustWest at 8:59 AM on July 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


I had a series of water leaks, some of which were more urgent than others, and finally hit on a method that works for me.

1) If urgent, call the person on duty and tell them (we have a day time person, and a person for emergencies on nights/weekends who also lives in my building which is handy.) If not urgent, take a photo of the thing before I leave in the morning if it can be photoed.

2) About 8:45am, text our building guy (with photo, if relevant) with what's going on - I usually do a brief "This is Jen in apartment #, this thing is not working" and then more details in subsequent texts, but keep it short and finish with any contact notes. ("Questions, please call me at work: [work number]..." and the number or "I can come home early this afternoon if needed." Why 8:45? He starts at 8:30.

3) I fairly reliably get a text back about this with an ETA on when he'll look at it now.

4) If there's no sign of the thing being fixed when I get home and no communication, but it's a thing that makes a difference to me, I text again the next morning (but then he's got the entire chain, and I don't have to repeat it, so it's just "X is still a problem and I'm worried I can't Y".) If it's a FYI and not bugging me, I give it a couple of days and check in.

Switching to texts rather than voice + including a photo made things go a lot more smoothly, even though neither of these are entirely how I'd prefer to do things.
posted by modernhypatia at 10:13 AM on July 25, 2017


Absolutely this. Text or email is a million times better than a voice call. Be wary of local regulations about what you should be doing. Here in NZ, for example, withholding rent or "getting it fixed yourself" is a complete no-no and the start of the road to being thrown out. A written request to repair (including text or email) is how to get things done. And woe betide a landlord who doesn't fix something within 14 days of being told of the issue in writing.
posted by tillsbury at 4:07 PM on July 25, 2017


Response by poster: Oooookay, so here's how the week went.

Monday: left phone message.

Tuesday: called again and got a hold of her, she said a guy was coming today. All right. I got a call that night saying that the guy had said to turn off the fridge for 24 hours and then plug it back in again and see if that worked, and if that didn't (note: manager sounded extremely skeptical of this Microsoft reboot idea, as was I) work, they'd order a new fridge.

Wednesday: I left all of my food in the work fridge and turned off the fridge. I also attempted to read instructions on the Internet as to whether or not this was a genuine idea or complete bullshit and the answer appears to be: something in the middle. Or at least I did find remarks from people saying that if you unplugged the fridge for 24 hours and also poured hot water down the vents, that would de-clog whatever was plugged in the fridge. On the bad news side: still wet in there. On the good news side: the smell went away almost instantly.

Thursday: I attempted this de-clogging with hot water thing by pouring hot water down what looked like a drain-ish thing in the freezer, which only ended up with a giant puddle of water all over my floor which I do not think was there previously? I'm not sure if it was leaking on the bottom of the inside of the fridge or not before because I didn't pull out the drawer before I tried this "trick," but there was a puddle of water in the bottom drawer area as well as all over my floor. I don't know if that is actual fridge leak or me being an idiot.

Friday: Re-plugged in fridge and put food back. Fridge makes weirder noises than previously but appears to work.

Saturday: Not leaking, not smelling.

Sunday: Still not leaking, but at one point I was smelling The Smell again. Here's the weird thing: my mother was over and she is the sort of person who thinks everything smells bad and is "sensitive to smells." I had her stick her nose right up in there and she smelled nothing. Soon enough it seems like it went away?

Monday: No leak still, no smell again.

So.... hell if I know, folks.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:30 PM on July 31, 2017


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