Moving on after a suicide attempt: Book/film/YouTube recs
July 6, 2017 7:27 PM Subscribe
I'm looking for recommendations of books, movies, lectures, YouTube videos, anything that helps alleviate suicidality and depression. For movies I'm seeking uplifting and intelligent (with no misogyny), and books that are either distracting & intelligent fiction, helpful, or that chronicle how someone got through depression or suicidality or severe trauma to live a fulfilling life. I haven't been able to find any like the latter. Thanks!
I'm recovering from my 3rd suicide attempt this year and awaiting a surgery for a stage 4 illness. I'm in a deep depression and am doing my best to structure my days and get through them, etc, am in (shitty NYC medicaid) therapy. And if you have a personal story you're down to share, it would be much appreciated.
I'm recovering from my 3rd suicide attempt this year and awaiting a surgery for a stage 4 illness. I'm in a deep depression and am doing my best to structure my days and get through them, etc, am in (shitty NYC medicaid) therapy. And if you have a personal story you're down to share, it would be much appreciated.
The movie that immediately popped into my head when reading your question is Benny and Joon. It's about a brother and sister who lost their parents at a young age, and how they are handling it as adults. The sister, Joon, has mental health issues due to that trauma and the brother, Benny, is her caretaker.
Johnny Depp, in my favorite role of his, enters as a Buster Keaton-esque love interest for Joon, although he doesn't quite "fit in" either. It has some serious moments, and Benny gets on my nerves as the over protective big brother, but it ultimately has a very sweet and happy ending. It's one of my favorite lesser known movies.
posted by Katie8709 at 7:52 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Johnny Depp, in my favorite role of his, enters as a Buster Keaton-esque love interest for Joon, although he doesn't quite "fit in" either. It has some serious moments, and Benny gets on my nerves as the over protective big brother, but it ultimately has a very sweet and happy ending. It's one of my favorite lesser known movies.
posted by Katie8709 at 7:52 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
I love Tom Drury. The End of Vandalism and Hunts in Dreams.
Do you like diverting fluff? Like Wodehouse? I read reams of that stuff.
Barbara Pym, Anne Tyler.
The Wind in the Willows.
These are a few gentle things that came to mind when I thought about reading with a tormented brain. This is a great question. I don't think I really answered it, but this is what I do, or rather, what I used to do before I became afflicted with the Internet and mostly stopped reading. Now I just seek for Netflix serials to addict myself to.
Joy Williams. Larry McMurtry. Herman Melville, forever.
Lately when I can't sleep I put on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. He is a kind, fair judge, and the problems are not upsetting problems.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:07 PM on July 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Do you like diverting fluff? Like Wodehouse? I read reams of that stuff.
Barbara Pym, Anne Tyler.
The Wind in the Willows.
These are a few gentle things that came to mind when I thought about reading with a tormented brain. This is a great question. I don't think I really answered it, but this is what I do, or rather, what I used to do before I became afflicted with the Internet and mostly stopped reading. Now I just seek for Netflix serials to addict myself to.
Joy Williams. Larry McMurtry. Herman Melville, forever.
Lately when I can't sleep I put on the Judge John Hodgman podcast. He is a kind, fair judge, and the problems are not upsetting problems.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:07 PM on July 6, 2017 [2 favorites]
Alone in the Wilderness is my go-to 'serenity now' film; must've watched 50-60 times by now.
posted by mannequito at 8:42 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by mannequito at 8:42 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
The artist SARK has grown into quite a different thing over the past 20-odd years but she was a victim of incest (and mentions a suicide attempt on the landing page) and has published lots of books and journals and has lots available online in the upbeat mental health category - she's survived a lot too, and works really hard at thriving anyway.
Jane Gonigal has one, two TED Talks and a game (Superbetter) for mental health. I liked it! It validates teeny tiny steps that are very do-able. She survived major head trauma and subsequent depression. I haven't logged in real recently, but myself and at least one other mefite are on Superbetter - I'm jeninoz. Friend me!
My go-to mellow-out film is 180°South. Beautiful film, great soundtrack! You might also try Anne of Green Gables (retro, with Megan Follows, or the books). This is such a YMMV thing - I'll comfort watch Harry Potter; my grandmother preferred the Princess Diaries when she was going through cancer treatments. If you can update with more preferences we may be able to suggest more things. Molly Ringwald movies?
Podcasts... you might like RealTalk with Nicole Antoinette, who does long-form interviews with all sorts of people who've overcome all sorts of things. I can't tell from the descriptions who I'll resonate with (they're surprising); I admit I go through and listen to all the women because I'm just tired of men lately. The first one I listened to was Blair Braverman (LOVE). The News from Lake Woebegone (Garrison Keillor)... smart, subtle, funny, short, and very comforting!
posted by jrobin276 at 9:18 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Jane Gonigal has one, two TED Talks and a game (Superbetter) for mental health. I liked it! It validates teeny tiny steps that are very do-able. She survived major head trauma and subsequent depression. I haven't logged in real recently, but myself and at least one other mefite are on Superbetter - I'm jeninoz. Friend me!
My go-to mellow-out film is 180°South. Beautiful film, great soundtrack! You might also try Anne of Green Gables (retro, with Megan Follows, or the books). This is such a YMMV thing - I'll comfort watch Harry Potter; my grandmother preferred the Princess Diaries when she was going through cancer treatments. If you can update with more preferences we may be able to suggest more things. Molly Ringwald movies?
Podcasts... you might like RealTalk with Nicole Antoinette, who does long-form interviews with all sorts of people who've overcome all sorts of things. I can't tell from the descriptions who I'll resonate with (they're surprising); I admit I go through and listen to all the women because I'm just tired of men lately. The first one I listened to was Blair Braverman (LOVE). The News from Lake Woebegone (Garrison Keillor)... smart, subtle, funny, short, and very comforting!
posted by jrobin276 at 9:18 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Just this afternoon, I was listening to Fresh Air on NPR and the guest was a guy named Haroon Moghul who wrote a memoir called How to Be a Muslim: An American Story. I haven't read the book, but it starts with his near-suicide attempt. The book discusses his identity as a Muslim while struggling with self-doubt and bipolar disorder. Moghul seems to be doing well now, and it could be helpful to learn more about his journey and how he's coped with what he's gone through.
You might listen to today's show and see if it's what you're looking for.
Sending you warm, comforting thoughts.
posted by delight at 9:48 PM on July 6, 2017
You might listen to today's show and see if it's what you're looking for.
Sending you warm, comforting thoughts.
posted by delight at 9:48 PM on July 6, 2017
You might want to try Two Days, One Night? It is in part a film about recovery from depression but it is gentle and intelligent and hopeful.
posted by Aravis76 at 11:39 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Aravis76 at 11:39 PM on July 6, 2017 [1 favorite]
Gosh, have you seen Tig on Netflix? She's a hilarious stand-up comedienne (she was on This American Life's stage show a year or two ago, which I also highly recommend) and it's a documentary about... well, about her. She talks about not fitting in and living in her car, her mom dying, getting c-diff and then breast cancer, deliberating about saving eggs because she really wants a family (and doesn't work out...well, not as she was hoping) but also about finding career success, falling in love, and having children with her partner. It's really uplifting - she goes through a lot and things aren't perfect but they're good and she's happy. Plus she's absolutely hysterical.
If you like that, also on my list are The Big Sick about Kumail Nanjiani and his wife (movie coming out nowish in theatres), and (netflix) Homecoming King with Hasan Minhaj.
posted by jrobin276 at 12:34 AM on July 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
If you like that, also on my list are The Big Sick about Kumail Nanjiani and his wife (movie coming out nowish in theatres), and (netflix) Homecoming King with Hasan Minhaj.
posted by jrobin276 at 12:34 AM on July 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
Ariel Levy's The Rules Do Not Apply fits that description I think. Though I've only read excerpts.
posted by jojobobo at 12:40 AM on July 7, 2017
posted by jojobobo at 12:40 AM on July 7, 2017
I hesitate to offer this, but I guess you can decide whether it is helpful to you: "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. I've heard it referred to as a life raft in book form. I'm going through a difficult time right now for various reasons, and reading just a little bit each day makes a huge difference. It has a Buddhist approach, but you don't have to buy into Buddhism to get a lot out of it.
Here is a question I asked a few years ago. Here is another one.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
posted by moira at 1:46 AM on July 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
Here is a question I asked a few years ago. Here is another one.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
posted by moira at 1:46 AM on July 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
I am really sorry you are goof through this.
The movie The Station Agent might fit your bill.
posted by athirstforsalt at 4:02 AM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]
The movie The Station Agent might fit your bill.
posted by athirstforsalt at 4:02 AM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]
This may seem like a weird suggestion, but the documentary Rivers and Tides about artist Andy Goldsworthy might fit in here. He makes absolutely stunning artworks out of the most plain natural materials. I thought it might fit in because (a) it's a gentle and beautiful film, really a pleasure to watch; (b) I think many people come away from his works with heightened appreciation about the most mundane objects around us, which is itself uplifting, and (c) there are a few scenes where you see him working long and hard on something fragile and elaborate and... it fails. And he struggles and is really disappointed. And then he moves on. Might be in alignment with what you're looking for.
Other suggestion, again in gentle mode, are two wonderful anime films from the legendary Studio Ghibli. My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service. They centered on kids/teens, and the tensions are kid-centered problems, but in both cases the dramatic problem is big and very, very frightening to the central characters. Beautiful and magical films, and each uplifting at the end.
posted by Sublimity at 4:17 AM on July 7, 2017
Other suggestion, again in gentle mode, are two wonderful anime films from the legendary Studio Ghibli. My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki's Delivery Service. They centered on kids/teens, and the tensions are kid-centered problems, but in both cases the dramatic problem is big and very, very frightening to the central characters. Beautiful and magical films, and each uplifting at the end.
posted by Sublimity at 4:17 AM on July 7, 2017
Also, if you're open to nonfiction, Maya Angelou's autobiography I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings might be up your alley as well. Her early life was very, very difficult and for sure she went on to triumph.
posted by Sublimity at 4:20 AM on July 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Sublimity at 4:20 AM on July 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
"Trauma and Recovery". It's a profoundly pro-victim book and if pulls no punches. it is kind of dense as its written as much for therapeutic practitioners as for victims. One of its biggest contributions is to unpack the systemic structural forms of trauma that are institutionalized and constantly reinforced in our society (particularly rape, sexual abuse, combat, and captivity) and show what the recovery process looks like.
posted by PercussivePaul at 4:21 AM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by PercussivePaul at 4:21 AM on July 7, 2017 [3 favorites]
One of my closest friends has a long history of suicide attempts/ideation. His favourite movie, by a long shot, is The Fall. Set in the 1920s it tells the story of a deeply depressed movie stunt man, who has been recently paralyzed by a stunt gone wrong, and the friendship he develops with a 6 year old girl while he is in hospital. Portions of the movie are fantastical representations of the stories he tells her, as they appear in her imagination. It is a visually stunning movie, especially when you realize that the set locations are actual places and not computer generated.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 6:21 AM on July 7, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Secret Sparrow at 6:21 AM on July 7, 2017 [4 favorites]
You might get something out of Finding Traction (link is to review) - it's a film about ultra-runner Nikki Kimball's attempt on the record for a 273 mile trail run. It's a great study of endurance in the face of pain and difficulties, and Kimball talks about her own struggles with depression.
posted by crocomancer at 6:46 AM on July 7, 2017
posted by crocomancer at 6:46 AM on July 7, 2017
I saw the movie Sing Street when it came out in theaters and it left me with a terrific uplifting, joyful high. It has nothing to do with suicide.
posted by tacodave at 3:05 PM on July 7, 2017
posted by tacodave at 3:05 PM on July 7, 2017
Sarah Monette, "The Goblin Emperor". It's fantasy fiction that transcends the genre with a story about surviving through darkness to find that your little light is not only enough for your path, it's bright enough to show others the way to safety, too. Incredible use of language. This book has pulled me through a long, hard year - I think I've read it seven times in about 18 months.
posted by AliceBlue at 5:10 PM on July 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by AliceBlue at 5:10 PM on July 7, 2017 [1 favorite]
First off, I know what it's like and I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
If you're at all a musical theater person (or even if you're not), I'd suggest Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812. In addition to just being a creative and interesting listen music-wise, the titular characters are both pretty troubled, with Pierre explicitly having depression, and Natasha SPOILERS attempting suicide. But it ends on a transcendent note of hope, beauty, and human connection. I was surprised by how deeply affecting I found it.
posted by colorblock sock at 10:58 PM on July 7, 2017
If you're at all a musical theater person (or even if you're not), I'd suggest Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812. In addition to just being a creative and interesting listen music-wise, the titular characters are both pretty troubled, with Pierre explicitly having depression, and Natasha SPOILERS attempting suicide. But it ends on a transcendent note of hope, beauty, and human connection. I was surprised by how deeply affecting I found it.
posted by colorblock sock at 10:58 PM on July 7, 2017
This thread is closed to new comments.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such hard stuff. My best to you, I hope this thread finds some good things for you.
posted by jameaterblues at 7:48 PM on July 6, 2017