Help me choose a good condom
July 2, 2017 10:56 AM Subscribe
My wife is currently off birth control, which means I need to buy condoms for the first time in about 15 years. I just made a quick visit to Amazon to do a little browsing, and didn't get very far. TIMES HAVE CHANGED. It's not just lubed, unlubed, or receptacle tip Trojans anymore. It's a clusterfuck of sizes, colors, materials, textures, brands, flavors, lubricants, etc. My gut tells me it's 95% marketing hoopla, yet something grabbing me a little lower down tells me it's fun and kind of exciting.
Either way, I'm dying to know what the hive is and isn't strapping on these days. Ladies too, by all means. You're the destination after all. Thanks
Hex are expensive but I am told they are well worth it (I don't have a penis)
posted by supermedusa at 11:41 AM on July 2, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by supermedusa at 11:41 AM on July 2, 2017 [1 favorite]
SKYN condoms (by Lifestyles) is a favorite of my male partners.
posted by metasarah at 11:45 AM on July 2, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by metasarah at 11:45 AM on July 2, 2017 [4 favorites]
Also,if you are really excited about your options, you can get mixed sampler packs with a lot of different brands from condom stores,including through Amazon!
posted by metasarah at 11:46 AM on July 2, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by metasarah at 11:46 AM on July 2, 2017 [6 favorites]
Get a sampler, fit is the number one most important aspect
posted by raccoon409 at 11:57 AM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by raccoon409 at 11:57 AM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
The significant factors are material and size; in most cases neither is a major deal because (a) the vast majority are made of the same thing (latex, the alternative being polyurethane) and (b) they fall within the same range of sizes (one size kinda-sorta fits all). At least in the USA, the FDA tests every single condom before it is packaged, so they impose a narrow range for standardization.
When it comes to the size, length is less important than circumference, because extra length will just add to the roll-up of the base; anything longer than your shaft should be fine. (Reverse of Price Is Right rules; as short as possible without going under).
For circumference/girth, the math gets fancy. Rings are measured in "nominal width", which not the radius (usual meaning of "width" of a circle), but half the circumference, because it's the width of the condom squashed flat. BUT manufacturers aren't required to print nominal-width numbers, so they just use letter-based sizing (like T-shirts, but with "snug" instead of "small").
After measuring yourself (wrapping the base with a piece of string while fully erect) use an online calculator like this one, which also recommends specific brands. The rule of thumb is that a condom should stretch between 10% and 20%, with less being too loose and likelier to slip, and more being too constricting (and possibly likelier to break at the tip, but that's rarer).
(I should clarify that most consumers can buy any old condoms without the size calculation, but you seemed interested in details, so there you go...)
Ribbed-vs-smooth, flavorings, etc are matters of preference, though any variations from "plain" are usually only available for "mid-sized" condoms.
posted by InTheYear2017 at 12:08 PM on July 2, 2017 [19 favorites]
When it comes to the size, length is less important than circumference, because extra length will just add to the roll-up of the base; anything longer than your shaft should be fine. (Reverse of Price Is Right rules; as short as possible without going under).
For circumference/girth, the math gets fancy. Rings are measured in "nominal width", which not the radius (usual meaning of "width" of a circle), but half the circumference, because it's the width of the condom squashed flat. BUT manufacturers aren't required to print nominal-width numbers, so they just use letter-based sizing (like T-shirts, but with "snug" instead of "small").
After measuring yourself (wrapping the base with a piece of string while fully erect) use an online calculator like this one, which also recommends specific brands. The rule of thumb is that a condom should stretch between 10% and 20%, with less being too loose and likelier to slip, and more being too constricting (and possibly likelier to break at the tip, but that's rarer).
(I should clarify that most consumers can buy any old condoms without the size calculation, but you seemed interested in details, so there you go...)
Ribbed-vs-smooth, flavorings, etc are matters of preference, though any variations from "plain" are usually only available for "mid-sized" condoms.
posted by InTheYear2017 at 12:08 PM on July 2, 2017 [19 favorites]
There are significant differences between the materials, that's for sure. Polyurethane is crinkly and less stretchy but conducts heat a lot better.
Anyway, obligatory sweethome link.
posted by ftm at 12:56 PM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
Anyway, obligatory sweethome link.
posted by ftm at 12:56 PM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
Googling woman friendly sex toy shop in SD turns up Pleasures and Treasures, which might be able to sell you a sampler pack.
posted by brujita at 1:18 PM on July 2, 2017
posted by brujita at 1:18 PM on July 2, 2017
There are also lambskin condoms but I don't have any experience with them.
posted by bendy at 2:27 PM on July 2, 2017
posted by bendy at 2:27 PM on July 2, 2017
Before my wife was on the pill, we found a fancy brand of nonlatex condoms that had an odd shape around the tip to facilitate more pleasurable friction. Great fit, no nasty smell, and generally awesome, but I'll be damned if I can figure out the brand now. Maybe Avanti?
Anyway, the differently shaped end was a gamechanger for us, so beyond trying to suss out what brand we used 15 years ago maybe just check into those that include this feature.
posted by uberchet at 3:25 PM on July 2, 2017 [1 favorite]
Anyway, the differently shaped end was a gamechanger for us, so beyond trying to suss out what brand we used 15 years ago maybe just check into those that include this feature.
posted by uberchet at 3:25 PM on July 2, 2017 [1 favorite]
Hex may be less useful since one of their selling points appears to be that you can poke pin holes in them without it being blatantly obvious. I'd rather condoms be obvious when the fail but ymmv.
posted by platypus of the universe at 3:38 PM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by platypus of the universe at 3:38 PM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks for the answers so far. They're great, and have caught the attention of the sacred vessel herself.
says she's heard non-latex smells bad.
Also says she thinks she remembers hearing somewhere that if you're not "like, dripping wet," they don't feel good, so you pretty much have to use lube with them
Confirm/disconfirm anyone, please?
posted by BadgerDoctor at 3:48 PM on July 2, 2017
says she's heard non-latex smells bad.
Also says she thinks she remembers hearing somewhere that if you're not "like, dripping wet," they don't feel good, so you pretty much have to use lube with them
Confirm/disconfirm anyone, please?
posted by BadgerDoctor at 3:48 PM on July 2, 2017
^ I've found that I need wayyyy less lube with non-latex condoms than I did with latex ones. Although I might have a mild latex sensitivity, so take that for what it's worth, I guess.
Also, I've never noticed any sort of bad smell. I use SKYN brand.
posted by darkchocolatepyramid at 5:22 PM on July 2, 2017 [1 favorite]
Also, I've never noticed any sort of bad smell. I use SKYN brand.
posted by darkchocolatepyramid at 5:22 PM on July 2, 2017 [1 favorite]
Trojan blue has been my brand all my life. My SO and I have recently enjoyed some of the trojan multi-packs, the twisted and studded in particular. Colors can be fun but not really our thing. Lubed condoms are helpful for shower sex, so might help if one is not dripping wet.
Trojan blue comes in two types, I think, lubed and unlubed, and back in the day came with this spermicide, which is probably one of the reasons 18-year old me chose it.
posted by vrakatar at 6:34 PM on July 2, 2017
Trojan blue comes in two types, I think, lubed and unlubed, and back in the day came with this spermicide, which is probably one of the reasons 18-year old me chose it.
posted by vrakatar at 6:34 PM on July 2, 2017
Yep, get a sampler and have fun trying everything on. :) Fit really is key. By which I mean, most condoms fit most penises just fine, but if you're on either end of the bell-curve in terms of size or shape, you may find some brands much more comfortable (and less prone to slippage or breakage) than others.
If you do need some brand recs just to get started, my male-bodied partners have liked: Skyn, Sir Richard's, One, Kimono, and whatever the super-thin Lifestyles ones are. As a lady, I honestly can't really tell a difference as long as there's nothing like spermicide or flavored lube to cause bad side effects, so my preference is whatever makes my male-bodied partners happy.
Non-latex condoms have gotten significantly better in the past few years, and Skyn is definitely the best in class. No weird smell, and no less lubed than ye olde standard lubricated latex condom. My partners like them enough that it's what I keep on hand even though I only have one occasional partner with any latex sensitivities.
posted by rhiannonstone at 6:47 PM on July 2, 2017
If you do need some brand recs just to get started, my male-bodied partners have liked: Skyn, Sir Richard's, One, Kimono, and whatever the super-thin Lifestyles ones are. As a lady, I honestly can't really tell a difference as long as there's nothing like spermicide or flavored lube to cause bad side effects, so my preference is whatever makes my male-bodied partners happy.
Non-latex condoms have gotten significantly better in the past few years, and Skyn is definitely the best in class. No weird smell, and no less lubed than ye olde standard lubricated latex condom. My partners like them enough that it's what I keep on hand even though I only have one occasional partner with any latex sensitivities.
posted by rhiannonstone at 6:47 PM on July 2, 2017
Japanese-made condoms. Especially Okamoto. They have thinness as low as .01 mm.
http://www.okamoto-inc.jp/en/products/condom/
posted by banishedimmortal at 7:22 PM on July 2, 2017
http://www.okamoto-inc.jp/en/products/condom/
posted by banishedimmortal at 7:22 PM on July 2, 2017
Crown Skinless have been my favorite for the past decade or so. They are latex but have no scent (seriously). They do not hurt or feel like i am wearing a damn balloon animal. The gimmick with these is that there is no gimmick - they are very good! It's pretty hard to forget that a condom is 'in the mix', so to speak, but these come close.
posted by destructive cactus at 2:19 AM on July 3, 2017
posted by destructive cactus at 2:19 AM on July 3, 2017
The synthetic latex Skyn ones smell better than latex.
Their bumpy variety are the only textured ones my female partners have enjoyed at all, but even then they're a once in a blue moon thing for variety, not a day to day thing.
posted by Candleman at 8:19 AM on July 3, 2017
Their bumpy variety are the only textured ones my female partners have enjoyed at all, but even then they're a once in a blue moon thing for variety, not a day to day thing.
posted by Candleman at 8:19 AM on July 3, 2017
I've asked my partners over the years to use the Skyn non-latex condoms — I'm allergic to latex, so I buy ones I know I can tolerate to make life easier for everyone. They don't smell or taste weird. The reactions of the guys using them have universally been, 'Wow, okay, for a condom, this doesn't totally suck.' Skyn also has a large size.
posted by culfinglin at 7:06 PM on July 3, 2017
posted by culfinglin at 7:06 PM on July 3, 2017
Of course this is a fairly personal thing, but having tried a lot of different brands, I think the best combination of thinness, ease of use and price is the Okamoto Crown. Buy in bulk and you can get them for around $0.20 each.
I've tried the ultra-thin, down to 0.01 mm, and in addition to being about 15x more expensive, they're quite hard to put on. The only other condom that I thought was interesting (which I tried since I had a latex-sensitive partner at the time), was Unique Pull. They're quite an innovation in the easy-to-apply department, but they're expensive and assuming latex works for you and your partner, I don't see any reason to go with something else.
Now, if you want to try something really innovative, there's also the Galactic Cap: a condom that covers on the head of the penis. But they're still not fully to market, so you'll pay a real premium, but I think it's an awfully cool concept.
posted by Cogito at 8:30 PM on July 3, 2017
I've tried the ultra-thin, down to 0.01 mm, and in addition to being about 15x more expensive, they're quite hard to put on. The only other condom that I thought was interesting (which I tried since I had a latex-sensitive partner at the time), was Unique Pull. They're quite an innovation in the easy-to-apply department, but they're expensive and assuming latex works for you and your partner, I don't see any reason to go with something else.
Now, if you want to try something really innovative, there's also the Galactic Cap: a condom that covers on the head of the penis. But they're still not fully to market, so you'll pay a real premium, but I think it's an awfully cool concept.
posted by Cogito at 8:30 PM on July 3, 2017
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by jbenben at 11:30 AM on July 2, 2017 [2 favorites]