Engagement party: gift?
June 29, 2017 11:10 AM   Subscribe

We are attending an engagement luncheon soon. The couple are in their mid-40s, and one of them has been married before. They got engaged last winter, and a wedding has not yet been scheduled. They are hosting the party for themselves, and we must travel to it. Is this a gift situation, when we expect to eventually give a gift for the wedding?
posted by Dashy to Human Relations (13 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I would not expect to give a gift at an engagement party.
posted by vunder at 11:11 AM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


I would give a bottle of champagne or box of chocolates as an engagement gift.
posted by JenMarie at 11:14 AM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


This is a bottle of wine situation.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:14 AM on June 29, 2017 [11 favorites]


I'd bring whatever you'd bring to such a party (liquor, flowers, chocolates) as a host gift, not an engagement gift.
posted by lalex at 11:16 AM on June 29, 2017 [7 favorites]


No gift, a card is sufficient. Gift etiquette enters the equation when you receive an invitation to the wedding.
posted by everythings_interrelated at 11:38 AM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


If the luncheon is being funded by the engaged couple (or their families), then it's a gift occasion. However, it doesn't need to be a formal or big gift. A nicer-than-usual bottle of champagne or fine liquor would be a good gift - aged port, special champagne, something like that.
posted by widdershins at 11:54 AM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


Any chance that this is the wedding? It'd be a good way to get everyone together if they wanted to do a surprise wedding. That doesn't change the fact that you should just bring a bottle of wine/champagne, regardless of their intent!
posted by stellaluna at 12:34 PM on June 29, 2017


N'thing a bottle of nice wine or champagne. Or if they aren't drinkers and the party is at their home (not someplace like a restaurant) a fruit basket.
posted by easily confused at 1:19 PM on June 29, 2017


Some people will bring gifts, but I definitely do not think it is required. A nice "happy engagement!" card is a nice idea, and if you're feeling extra generous, a bottle of wine/flowers/etc.
posted by rainbowbrite at 1:31 PM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


I would not expect to give a gift at an engagement party.

And I'm the opposite, I would totally expect to bring a gift!
posted by JenThePro at 1:33 PM on June 29, 2017 [2 favorites]


I would too. In this situation, I'd bring a nice bottle of champagne.
posted by Jubey at 2:34 PM on June 29, 2017


I might think a gift was required, but since you are traveling to be there, your trip is part of any gift. I think you're plenty safe with the card/wine approach.
posted by acm at 3:05 PM on June 29, 2017 [1 favorite]


They are hosting the party for themselves? I would not take a gift.
posted by Dolley at 5:47 AM on June 30, 2017


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