Clever "No parking" sign for constantly blocked driveway?
June 11, 2017 8:48 AM Subscribe
We have a house across the street from a popular beach. During tourist season our driveway and garage are constantly blocked by people who find it convenient to park there. I get it, it's a very tempting spot. We can of course call to get the offenders towed, but I want to try to put some positive energy into preventive measures this year. I'm looking for suggestions for something witty, funny or otherwise unusual that might make someone think twice before parking there.
We have all kinds of standard no-parking signs clearly posted, on top of the ones the city put up.
We have one gate to the driveway and two garage doors on the street that could get some text or image to convey the message. Preferably nothing that would suggest violence like "offenders will be shot". I'd rather not encourage vandalism/graffiti either as we are not there often in the winter.
Visuals of nice alternatives would also be great. I'm very handy with a paintbrush so could manage to do something more artistic but i'm drawing a blank as to what.
I love this example, but it wouldn't work with the style of doors that we have (think intricate wooden garage doors with vertical panels).
As a driver i remember finding the campaign of signs posted by handicapped parking spots very effective (at least here in Europe they say "If you take my spot, also take my handicap"). Something like this that make offenders realize they are blocking us in/out might also work? They often park there for the entire day while they're at the beach and we have no way of knowing who's who...
Thanks!
We have all kinds of standard no-parking signs clearly posted, on top of the ones the city put up.
We have one gate to the driveway and two garage doors on the street that could get some text or image to convey the message. Preferably nothing that would suggest violence like "offenders will be shot". I'd rather not encourage vandalism/graffiti either as we are not there often in the winter.
Visuals of nice alternatives would also be great. I'm very handy with a paintbrush so could manage to do something more artistic but i'm drawing a blank as to what.
I love this example, but it wouldn't work with the style of doors that we have (think intricate wooden garage doors with vertical panels).
As a driver i remember finding the campaign of signs posted by handicapped parking spots very effective (at least here in Europe they say "If you take my spot, also take my handicap"). Something like this that make offenders realize they are blocking us in/out might also work? They often park there for the entire day while they're at the beach and we have no way of knowing who's who...
Thanks!
How about a take on the safety signs "35 cars towed this year" with a large changeable numeric tag.
posted by sammyo at 8:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [122 favorites]
posted by sammyo at 8:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [122 favorites]
A neighbor who lives across the street from an elementary school has parents constantly stopping and blocking their driveway to do "a quick drop off" and the only thing that's worked is putting a few large, orange pylons in the actual space with yet another sign about the fact that it's a driveway and can't be blocked.
posted by quince at 8:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [27 favorites]
posted by quince at 8:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [27 favorites]
Why not put something there that they'd have to move to park?
posted by empath at 9:04 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by empath at 9:04 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Distance to beach: .25 miles
Distance to impound lot: park here and find out
posted by prewar lemonade at 9:07 AM on June 11, 2017 [73 favorites]
Distance to impound lot: park here and find out
posted by prewar lemonade at 9:07 AM on June 11, 2017 [73 favorites]
"555-123-4567 This is the number of the local towing company. We already know it. If you park here, you'll need to know it, too."
posted by jacquilynne at 9:07 AM on June 11, 2017 [39 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 9:07 AM on June 11, 2017 [39 favorites]
Do you also paint the curb the "no parking" color for your municipality? That seems to help more than anything else. In California it's an obvious maroon red.
But some wording ideas:
The last person who parked here is still trying to get their car back from the impound lot.
When you block this driveway, you give us something to drive over with our Sherman tank.
It costs more than $1500 to get your towed car back when you park here. Not parking here costs you nothing.
Do not park here! Our lock-picking and joy-riding skills are pretty good and we're looking for more practice.
posted by Mo Nickels at 9:08 AM on June 11, 2017 [12 favorites]
But some wording ideas:
The last person who parked here is still trying to get their car back from the impound lot.
When you block this driveway, you give us something to drive over with our Sherman tank.
It costs more than $1500 to get your towed car back when you park here. Not parking here costs you nothing.
Do not park here! Our lock-picking and joy-riding skills are pretty good and we're looking for more practice.
posted by Mo Nickels at 9:08 AM on June 11, 2017 [12 favorites]
How about some cute bollards rather than signs?
posted by penguin pie at 9:10 AM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by penguin pie at 9:10 AM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
On preview, I'm going to second quince; I think a physical barrier of some kind on each side of the driveway is the only thing that will work. If you want something prettier than orange pylons, maybe something like big barrel planters, or post lanterns, or something. If people aren't reading or caring about the existing signs, they won't read or care about new signs, either.
posted by current resident at 9:11 AM on June 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by current resident at 9:11 AM on June 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
Maybe a sign that says "Number of cars towed from this spot since June 1st:" and then a thing where you can change the numbers by hang tags. You could change the numbers every few days. You don't have to use actual numbers.
posted by vignettist at 9:15 AM on June 11, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by vignettist at 9:15 AM on June 11, 2017 [5 favorites]
"You Drove to the Beach! Drive Home From the Beach Too....Don't Park Here." (Followed by Tow company name and name.)
Or a bit more passive aggressive:
"Abandoned Cars Towed Promptly"
posted by spitbull at 9:16 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Or a bit more passive aggressive:
"Abandoned Cars Towed Promptly"
posted by spitbull at 9:16 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
It has been [0] days since the last person was towed for using this spot.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:27 AM on June 11, 2017 [7 favorites]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:27 AM on June 11, 2017 [7 favorites]
A tall sign pole with a single fake CCTV on top with a sign "My good friend owns Speedy-Quick Towing and both cameras"
posted by tinker at 9:28 AM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by tinker at 9:28 AM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Warning: if you do not have a valid parking permit displayed you will be ticketd and towed!
When I lived across the street from the beach we only had street parking, permit only. Whenever the neighbors saw someone trying to park there we always warned them of this and they always moved their car. It was true but we could have been lying.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:56 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
When I lived across the street from the beach we only had street parking, permit only. Whenever the neighbors saw someone trying to park there we always warned them of this and they always moved their car. It was true but we could have been lying.
posted by Room 641-A at 9:56 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Near where I grew up there was a driveway with a portable sign made to look very much like a blue and white police no parking sign, only instead of the official wording it said "Polite No Parking".
You could try something similar, adjusted to the specifics of your local official signs.
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 9:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
You could try something similar, adjusted to the specifics of your local official signs.
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 9:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Check with your local police for ideas. Some of the above ideas might get you in trouble.
posted by Carol Anne at 10:00 AM on June 11, 2017 [13 favorites]
posted by Carol Anne at 10:00 AM on June 11, 2017 [13 favorites]
In most places a private person can't simply have a car towed. Smart alek signs proporting a long history of towed vehicles just make the property own look foolish in the eyes of more informed potential parkers.
posted by humboldt32 at 10:18 AM on June 11, 2017
posted by humboldt32 at 10:18 AM on June 11, 2017
I would go for something clear like, "Do not block garage access" and "Do not block access to gate." I would want to help people register that they're blocking things by parking there, not just feel like I was cranky about cars in front of my home.
posted by lazuli at 10:18 AM on June 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by lazuli at 10:18 AM on June 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
You may need to go through your local by-law enforcement office or parking enforcement authority rather than calling the tow yourself, but it is generally possible for a private individual to report that a car is blocking their driveway or otherwise illegally parked and get it towed, even if it's not directly on their command. If people want to be all rules-lawyery about that because a sign didn't precisely point out the exact mechanism by which they would be towed, well, they would still be towed.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:31 AM on June 11, 2017 [22 favorites]
posted by jacquilynne at 10:31 AM on June 11, 2017 [22 favorites]
In most places a private person can't simply have a car towed.
If the OP's beach community is like mine, the city is happy to respond to residents calling about illegally parked cars by dispatching parking enforcemment, who may then call a tow truck.
Cha-ching.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:37 AM on June 11, 2017 [15 favorites]
If the OP's beach community is like mine, the city is happy to respond to residents calling about illegally parked cars by dispatching parking enforcemment, who may then call a tow truck.
Cha-ching.
posted by Room 641-A at 10:37 AM on June 11, 2017 [15 favorites]
In most places a private person can't simply have a car towed.
If they're blocking your driveway or on your property, you can have them towed in most places I've lived. Like, you call the cops or the 311 line and someone comes and tows it. I have a valid street parking permit, but if I park across my neighbor's driveway, I would expect to get towed!
But it does take a while for this to happen, which is why prevention is better for the driveway-user as well as for the potential tow-ee.
posted by mskyle at 10:38 AM on June 11, 2017 [10 favorites]
If they're blocking your driveway or on your property, you can have them towed in most places I've lived. Like, you call the cops or the 311 line and someone comes and tows it. I have a valid street parking permit, but if I park across my neighbor's driveway, I would expect to get towed!
But it does take a while for this to happen, which is why prevention is better for the driveway-user as well as for the potential tow-ee.
posted by mskyle at 10:38 AM on June 11, 2017 [10 favorites]
In most places a private person can't simply have a car towed.
This is not the case. I mean, as people have said you have to get a cop-assist but any place where parking is a concern (I also live in a beachish community in the summer) there are often tow trucks that just sort of patrol the areas waiting for calls.
But otherwise, depending on your bent, you could add "Reserved for the Mayor" (or insert your joke of choice there) or put something there like a potential lemonade stand or maybe just some sort of dancing blower fan man with a sign that says "Be groovy don't park here" I feel like something attention getting is much better than something menacing.
posted by jessamyn at 10:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
This is not the case. I mean, as people have said you have to get a cop-assist but any place where parking is a concern (I also live in a beachish community in the summer) there are often tow trucks that just sort of patrol the areas waiting for calls.
But otherwise, depending on your bent, you could add "Reserved for the Mayor" (or insert your joke of choice there) or put something there like a potential lemonade stand or maybe just some sort of dancing blower fan man with a sign that says "Be groovy don't park here" I feel like something attention getting is much better than something menacing.
posted by jessamyn at 10:59 AM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
PARK HERE!! $500/hr
Yeah, it's probably not a good idea. But oh so tempting.
posted by forforf at 11:08 AM on June 11, 2017
Yeah, it's probably not a good idea. But oh so tempting.
posted by forforf at 11:08 AM on June 11, 2017
"If you park here, please leave the keys in the ignition. It will make it so much easier for the towing company to move your car to the impound lot"
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:13 AM on June 11, 2017
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:13 AM on June 11, 2017
The best thing is TOW ZONE with a large schematic of a tow truck. Universally understood. All the (semi) witty ideas above will not solve the problem. A 4' tall picture of a tow truck like this will with the addition of "Call this No. if your car was towed" underneath, also in huge numbers It has to be huge. And it has to show a picture. People will ignore no parking but they won't usually ignore tow signs. Especially if you are serious enough about it to have a number to call.
We used to have this issue and people can get pretty ratty with the homeowner for having them towed so it's all around better not to deal with it.
If you're not there a good chunk of the year people will get used to parking in your driveway thinking no one ever calls. So the more consistent you can be about it the better.
posted by fshgrl at 11:18 AM on June 11, 2017 [19 favorites]
We used to have this issue and people can get pretty ratty with the homeowner for having them towed so it's all around better not to deal with it.
If you're not there a good chunk of the year people will get used to parking in your driveway thinking no one ever calls. So the more consistent you can be about it the better.
posted by fshgrl at 11:18 AM on June 11, 2017 [19 favorites]
A thing that has stopped me personally from doing the shitty "I'll just block this driveway for a minute" thing in the past was a sign emphasizing that the garage behind it was in use regularly, at all hours.
Without signs to the contrary, it's really tempting for people to think "Oh, it's the middle of a weekday" — or "it's 3 am" or whatever — and just assume that probably nobody's coming or going and it'll be fine.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:42 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
Without signs to the contrary, it's really tempting for people to think "Oh, it's the middle of a weekday" — or "it's 3 am" or whatever — and just assume that probably nobody's coming or going and it'll be fine.
posted by nebulawindphone at 11:42 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
See if your local Public Works (or other road-oriented city agency) will paint your curb cuts red, optionally and hopefully the curblet across your driveway between the curb cuts as well.
posted by rhizome at 11:43 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 11:43 AM on June 11, 2017 [2 favorites]
In my somewhat similar experience, no amount of polite or clever signage with keep some people from parking there and doing anything that's obviously linked to you will result in their banging on your door with wrath when they find their car towed. Ask the municipality to paint the curb with your local "no parking" colors in addition to the signs.
posted by Candleman at 11:54 AM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by Candleman at 11:54 AM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
In our area, ferry lines can back up for miles, and cars in them could block driveways. The cities have responded by painting yellow cross hatches in the road in front of the drives, which makes it clear exactly where the no-parking zone is. If you could do that legally (and if you could find the appropriate paint), it would likely be very effective (especially coupled with a modest sign with the towing company's phone number, and perhaps a mention of the cost of picking up an impounded car).
posted by Capri at 12:03 PM on June 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by Capri at 12:03 PM on June 11, 2017 [6 favorites]
Yeah, most places I have ever been, if someone lesaves a car on your private property and you have posted notice you can get it towed no problem. Towing is a huge profit center for both city and tow company.
posted by spitbull at 12:27 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by spitbull at 12:27 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Do your neighbors have the same problem? Maybe you can organize and present the problem -- along with possible solutions -- to your city council or neighborhood task force.
posted by Room 641-A at 12:48 PM on June 11, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 12:48 PM on June 11, 2017 [5 favorites]
When I lived in town near a university and businesses, I made up a polite, earnest sheet citing the law regarding parking with space for their license plate, car make, model & color, and my intent to tow if they transgressed a 2nd time. I put them on the windshield. Somewhat effective. I did have a neighbor's car towed because I'd asked him so many times not to block my drive.
Get some 2x4s and make sawhorses to hold your signs.
No Parking
Tow Zone
If your vehicle has been towed,
call (207)775-4321 for more information.
No Parking.
If you want, add a sign saying where parking might be available. You are not required to state that they will be towed, it's a given that if they block you, they're towable. At least where I live. And most towns have a specified distance from the curb cut that is default no parking. You are being really nice, but they are being assholes. If you back out and hit them because they parked like a jerk, you're liable.
posted by theora55 at 1:17 PM on June 11, 2017
Get some 2x4s and make sawhorses to hold your signs.
No Parking
Tow Zone
If your vehicle has been towed,
call (207)775-4321 for more information.
No Parking.
If you want, add a sign saying where parking might be available. You are not required to state that they will be towed, it's a given that if they block you, they're towable. At least where I live. And most towns have a specified distance from the curb cut that is default no parking. You are being really nice, but they are being assholes. If you back out and hit them because they parked like a jerk, you're liable.
posted by theora55 at 1:17 PM on June 11, 2017
Witty signs get stolen. Stick with "DO NOT BLOCK DRIVEWAY". Unambiguous, won't be mistaken for passive aggression.
posted by hwyengr at 1:27 PM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
posted by hwyengr at 1:27 PM on June 11, 2017 [4 favorites]
Cop-assisted towing takes a while, and some cops don't want to bother, so it takes even longer. Commercial lots make a deal with a tow company that unauthorized cars are towable during specified hours. I've been towed when I was in my authorized spot. Not fun; tow companies learn to be professional jerks.
Re-reading your question - talk to the city, and use sawhorses or traffic cones to make the spots unavailable if you must.
The only signage that persuades me is Don't even consider parking or stopping here. Garage (gate) in use at all hours. TOW ZONE. (207) 775-4321
posted by theora55 at 1:27 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Re-reading your question - talk to the city, and use sawhorses or traffic cones to make the spots unavailable if you must.
The only signage that persuades me is Don't even consider parking or stopping here. Garage (gate) in use at all hours. TOW ZONE. (207) 775-4321
posted by theora55 at 1:27 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Cop-assisted towing takes a while, and some cops don't want to bother, so it takes even longer.
I think unless they're clearly on private property you want parking enforcement, which should respond faster and more often.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:38 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
I think unless they're clearly on private property you want parking enforcement, which should respond faster and more often.
posted by Room 641-A at 1:38 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
I saw a great no parking sign in San Francisco. "No parking. Visualize being towed".
posted by jennstra at 1:41 PM on June 11, 2017 [8 favorites]
posted by jennstra at 1:41 PM on June 11, 2017 [8 favorites]
One way Valet
(drop it off here, pick it up at 555 Far Away Lane)
posted by sammyo at 3:03 PM on June 11, 2017
(drop it off here, pick it up at 555 Far Away Lane)
posted by sammyo at 3:03 PM on June 11, 2017
Some people paint super-sized warnings directly on the garage doors. That's one way to show you're serious.
posted by metaseeker at 5:23 PM on June 11, 2017
posted by metaseeker at 5:23 PM on June 11, 2017
Is that popular beach on Yelp, by any chance? There's a very popular deli here with horrible parking, so people try to park at the supermarket across the street. The parking lot has a guard and they will immediately tow you, and many of the reviews for the deli make a point of warning people not to park there. Maybe something like that will help a little.
posted by Room 641-A at 6:20 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by Room 641-A at 6:20 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
I used to live a block from one of the most popular breweries in N America. We didn't need permission from the cops to get people towed if they blocked our driveways, we could just call the tow guy direct. Happened at least twice a week on our block.
posted by fshgrl at 7:56 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by fshgrl at 7:56 PM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]
Ask the town if you can paint on the street. Mark off the area that is not a parking spot with a big white box with an X in it, filling the width of the driveway/garage opening. And if you can't use permanent paint, use "temporary" but long lasting like the day-glo stuff they mark do-not-dig or underground marks with.
posted by aimedwander at 8:22 AM on June 12, 2017
posted by aimedwander at 8:22 AM on June 12, 2017
How about some playful pavement-painting?:
http://imgur.com/a/HBPP4
posted by D.Billy at 11:01 AM on June 12, 2017
http://imgur.com/a/HBPP4
posted by D.Billy at 11:01 AM on June 12, 2017
This thread is closed to new comments.
"Garage in use, do not block access."
With the zero clearance garage door to curb, some times I think people don't even register the garages as houses.
posted by saradarlin at 8:56 AM on June 11, 2017 [1 favorite]