But Mom Always Said to Thank People Personally...

May 24, 2017 3:46 PM

I am working with a recruiter for the first time ever, and I'm new to the protocol involved. I just went on an interview today that my recruiter set up (went pretty well!) and sent them a thank-you email directly as soon as I got home, just like I've always been told I should do. One hour later - my recruiter contacted me to say "so, send me your draft of the thank you so we can get it to them!" I had no idea I had to go through the recruiter. Is this super-bad?

I'm kind of freaking out a little because I had no idea I had to go through a recruiter for this. Also, I did a bit more of a brief email expressing interest in the job and pointing out a couple places where I thought I could fit in with the company, but my recruiter sent me a "tips for a thank you letter" that sounds like I should have sent something more extensive. So now I'm panicking that I really blew this.

The company was a start-up that is seems pretty informal (they're workign out of a shared-work space and they desperately need someone to jump in and set up systems - and that's where I excel), so the brevity of the note probably won't kill me, but I"m afraid I've pissed off my recruiter. How bad a flub was this and what do I do?

posted by EmpressCallipygos to Work & Money (16 answers total)

Single datapoint: as someone who has worked with third-party recruiters as a candidate, and who has interviewed candidates who came in through third-party recruiters, I have never heard of this. It seems weird to me.
posted by primethyme at 3:48 PM on May 24, 2017 [13 favorites]

Just say "Oh, I sent them a thank you already". No big deal.

(Also for future reference, at least in my experience: recruiters are almost always useless middlemen trying to skim a buck off the deal, they really don't bring any secret job openings, or particular expertise vetting candidates.)
posted by so fucking future at 3:51 PM on May 24, 2017 [23 favorites]

I have worked through recruiters before and the recruiter's plan would only make sense if you didn't already have direct contact info. Perhaps the recruiter didn't know you already had this.

You're good. :)
posted by mochapickle at 3:54 PM on May 24, 2017 [5 favorites]

It's not a flub. 'Thanks, sent one already, copy attached.' Any drama? Get a new recruiter.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:54 PM on May 24, 2017 [23 favorites]

The recruiter works for you, not vice versa! You did nothing wrong, they're just trying to control the conversation to ensure they get their cut should you get hired, and they want to hedge their bets by dictating how you communicate. Tell the recruiter you sent one already, and to please keep you posted if there are updates, thanks. Good luck!
posted by masquesoporfavor at 3:59 PM on May 24, 2017 [10 favorites]

I"m afraid I've pissed off my recruiter.

If you've pissed the recruiter off, then they're a bad one. If the nature of the follow-up was so very important, they should have brought this up before you went to the interview.

I suspect the recruiter just sent this out as a way to make sure the thank you note was sent.
posted by ghost phoneme at 4:02 PM on May 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

I've worked pretty much strictly with recruiters when job hunting. I've never heard of this. I've always sent the note directly. Nthing that if they're going to blow up at you, you don't need to work with them. But also, it would be extremely hard to piss off a recruiter to the point where they won't try and find something for you. You're the product they're selling. The better job they find you, and the more you get paid, the better they do. Don't stress it.
posted by Caravantea at 4:08 PM on May 24, 2017

Response by poster: Thanks, all - I already feel better. (I also called a friend who pointed out that this may have been her way of ensuring I sent one, "and so the fact that you already sent one may actually make her day rather than piss her off".)

Thanks, whew!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:17 PM on May 24, 2017 [7 favorites]

You did an even better thing than what the recruiter wanted you to do. Nice job!
posted by value of information at 4:32 PM on May 24, 2017

It's not even clear to me that your recruiter wants the thank you note to go through them, vs they just want to workshop it with you, before you send it yourself. I'm sure the company would prefer to communicate with you directly vs through your recruiter.

I'm afraid I've pissed off my recruiter

A recruiter has three main goals (priorities vary tremendously)

Get you hired now, and get paid for it.

Build relationships with employers, who they can send future candidates to

Build relationships with a bunch of workers, so they can recruit them again in the future

That last point means they really are not inclined to get mad at you, unless:

You make them look like an idiot to the employer (hurting future prospects)

You waste their time in an egregiously bad-faith kind of way (costing them money)

They are super unprofessional

posted by aubilenon at 4:38 PM on May 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

I've never had a recruiter tell me to send a thank-you, let alone micro-manage the process. I mean, it's good of them to remind/help you, but if you've already done it, you're totally good.
posted by radioamy at 4:52 PM on May 24, 2017

The only times I've had a recruiter send me the thank you note is when the person doesn't have my email address.

You're fine. You did fine.
posted by magnetsphere at 4:57 PM on May 24, 2017

I agree the recruiter may want to ensure you send one (and a decent one--many people really struggle with it) so they can protect their rep of sending good candidates and to increase your likelihood of getting the job.

They may also want to ensure you don't establish private contact with the company and undercut them by getting the job without official placement by the agency.
posted by kapers at 5:00 PM on May 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Wow, lot of recruiter hate here.

She just wanted to make sure a note got sent, and she didn't know that you'd gotten the interviewer's email address and sent it already (good for you.) In my experience it is about 50/50 that the interviewer will give the candidate a business card, so it's perfectly reasonable to make sure. She's fine, you're fine, good luck, hope you get the job.
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:10 PM on May 24, 2017 [2 favorites]

This is not a flub at all! In fact, you probably rocked this. As many have said, you did nothing wrong here, and chances are the recruiter is just making sure you have good post-interview etiquette. In the future, I'd suggest BCC-ing recruiters on your thank-you emails so that they know you took care of it and have a sense of your writing style (& know what you said). Occasionally, a recruiter may want to preview what you send, but, unless they asked for a draft in advance beforehand, writing skills are not your strength, or there might be a special circumstances in play, feel free to send without the a recruiter's pre-approval and just BCC. BTW, good luck!
posted by katemcd at 8:27 PM on May 24, 2017 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: My recruiter contacted me last night - she first apologized for not telling me sooner that"share a draft of your thank you note with me" was just something she offered as a "proofreading" kind of thing - you know, "make sure you didn't do any dumb misspellings" kind of thing. She added that some of her clients were a little picky, so if I went to any of them it may be a good idea to share the draft with her first (and she'll let me know who they are), but the company I interviewed at was NOT one of them and the guy was pretty informal so I was totally fine, and she was cool with it.

Thanks, all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:44 AM on May 25, 2017 [4 favorites]