I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was...
May 17, 2017 8:58 AM Subscribe
What would it take to be your favourite coworker/team member/subordinate/colleague?
I know this is quite a broad question (don't flag me as chatfilter please), but basically, I want to be a competent, friendly, and reliable coworker, and I'm picky and impatient, so I want to learn quickly and become really good at my job ASAP.
I'm nervous about the social aspects though, and huh, I guess there's no grading scheme for the workplace so I'm not entirely sure what things to watch out for / improve. I've brainstormed a little bit, but I thought it would be good to ask too.
Street smart friends of Askmefi, what do you really appreciate / value in a team member?
- Habits
- Manners
- Skills
Also, what are some really annoying things / pitfalls that I should be watch out for?
- How do I handle feedback/conflicts
Look forward to hearing all your book reccs, links to articles and stories! Thank you!! :)
I know this is quite a broad question (don't flag me as chatfilter please), but basically, I want to be a competent, friendly, and reliable coworker, and I'm picky and impatient, so I want to learn quickly and become really good at my job ASAP.
I'm nervous about the social aspects though, and huh, I guess there's no grading scheme for the workplace so I'm not entirely sure what things to watch out for / improve. I've brainstormed a little bit, but I thought it would be good to ask too.
Street smart friends of Askmefi, what do you really appreciate / value in a team member?
- Habits
- Manners
- Skills
Also, what are some really annoying things / pitfalls that I should be watch out for?
- How do I handle feedback/conflicts
Look forward to hearing all your book reccs, links to articles and stories! Thank you!! :)
Always be friendly, polite, and cheerful, even if you are feeling not so happy or healthy.
Don't be a know-it-all.
Treat everyone kindly.
Never laugh at anyone or make jokes at their expense.
Don't gossip or say negative things about anyone.
Don't show contempt for others even if you feel it.
posted by Amy NM at 9:27 AM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
Don't be a know-it-all.
Treat everyone kindly.
Never laugh at anyone or make jokes at their expense.
Don't gossip or say negative things about anyone.
Don't show contempt for others even if you feel it.
posted by Amy NM at 9:27 AM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
Yeah to me there are two main issues
1. Be reliable. This means being on time, doing what you say, clearly communicating if you can't do those things, and, as much as possible, not making your own issues (whatever those may be, impatience definitely could qualify) into other people's problems. So in your instance maybe communicating deadlines for shared projects but then absolutely not "checking in for status" stuff because you'd like it done sooner than an agreed-upon time.
2. Adjust to people's levels of sociability somewhat. Some people like to chat at the office. Some people do not. Some people like to eat alone. Some like company. I feel a heavy need to be polite in an office environment and so I can sometimes get trapped by someone who is talking to me for too long or who has a work thing they need to talk with me about but prefaces it with a bunch of chatty "how was your weekend" stuff. Other people may be the exact opposite. Trying to spend some time figuring out (by asking, observing, asking other people) what works the best so that people don't have to adjust to you because you're not sure what is up. This is also true with "how are you?" stuff. Different workplaces expect different levels of sharing with that sort of question, figure out what works in your workplace.
And bringing snacks and being polite/friendly is always a good ice breaker. Never talking smack about people and being generally agreeable but with your own personality. Some of this can unfortunately, be a little fraught in a gender direction, so being mindful about being too friendly with opposite sex folks (or too complimentary, etc) is also a way to make sure workplace interactions are professional.
posted by jessamyn at 9:34 AM on May 17, 2017 [13 favorites]
1. Be reliable. This means being on time, doing what you say, clearly communicating if you can't do those things, and, as much as possible, not making your own issues (whatever those may be, impatience definitely could qualify) into other people's problems. So in your instance maybe communicating deadlines for shared projects but then absolutely not "checking in for status" stuff because you'd like it done sooner than an agreed-upon time.
2. Adjust to people's levels of sociability somewhat. Some people like to chat at the office. Some people do not. Some people like to eat alone. Some like company. I feel a heavy need to be polite in an office environment and so I can sometimes get trapped by someone who is talking to me for too long or who has a work thing they need to talk with me about but prefaces it with a bunch of chatty "how was your weekend" stuff. Other people may be the exact opposite. Trying to spend some time figuring out (by asking, observing, asking other people) what works the best so that people don't have to adjust to you because you're not sure what is up. This is also true with "how are you?" stuff. Different workplaces expect different levels of sharing with that sort of question, figure out what works in your workplace.
And bringing snacks and being polite/friendly is always a good ice breaker. Never talking smack about people and being generally agreeable but with your own personality. Some of this can unfortunately, be a little fraught in a gender direction, so being mindful about being too friendly with opposite sex folks (or too complimentary, etc) is also a way to make sure workplace interactions are professional.
posted by jessamyn at 9:34 AM on May 17, 2017 [13 favorites]
I'm pretty well liked at my job. I asked this question before I started it, which you might find helpful.
Things I do that help people to like me:
-my fucking job.
This really is the big one. If you actually competently do the job that you're supposed to be doing, SO MUCH ELSE will be glossed over. Meet your deadlines, don't slack in a way that makes other people's jobs harder, respond to questions/emails, be organized. Do your job.
Other things:
-Be clear when making requests. It's really annoying to come back to your desk after a meeting to find an IM from a coworker that says, "hey do you have a sec?" Just say what you need, clearly and concisely. I would 100% rather get an IM that says, "hey, when you have a sec I need to know how many whatsits we ordered for the foo." It wastes my time and your time and everybody's time to have to have an introductory conversation about the conversation you need to have. If you don't have time to get to something, don't ignore it. Say with words, "we'll need to schedule some time to talk about that, I'm slammed this week but Tuesday after 3 is ok. Put 20 minutes on my calendar." (And then be AVAILABLE for the time you say you're available.)
-Be friendly to everyone equally. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but if you're a socializer, it goes a long way to just say hi and good morning and make sure everyone gets noticed. If your office has cliques, ignore them and just pull everyone into your sphere. People like feeling recognized and valued.
-Troubleshoot your own problems before asking someone for help. It's SUPER OKAY to ask for help, but there's a ton of learned helplessness, particularly with tech-related questions, and I promise you that you're smart enough to open up the system preferences panel by yourself and click on the picture of the printer. Even if it doesn't work, take 15 seconds to at least TRY it before asking someone to do it for you. (This extends to basically everything in life.)
-Keep your calendar up to date, keep track of your own progress, know when you're going to be strapped for time and when you're not, and speak up if there's too much on your plate. If you're routinely struggling to meet your deadlines and you're doing your job (see the first point above), it's not your fault. People will respect you more if you advocate for yourself.
-Probably the most useful tip from my old Ask question was this comment. I take the last 20 minutes of my day every day to clear my desk off and prep my to-do list for the next day. It keeps me on task, helps me prioritize, and keeps tasks from getting lost. (I also really dig scrum boards for keeping track of longer term tasks, but for my current role they aren't really necessary. But you might find them useful.) Basically: keeping yourself organized will make it easier for you to do your job, and doing your job makes people like you more.
-Don't be the smelly one or the loud one or the complainy one or the perpetually stressed one. Once in a while is fine, but don't make it Your Thing.
posted by phunniemee at 9:37 AM on May 17, 2017 [26 favorites]
Things I do that help people to like me:
-my fucking job.
This really is the big one. If you actually competently do the job that you're supposed to be doing, SO MUCH ELSE will be glossed over. Meet your deadlines, don't slack in a way that makes other people's jobs harder, respond to questions/emails, be organized. Do your job.
Other things:
-Be clear when making requests. It's really annoying to come back to your desk after a meeting to find an IM from a coworker that says, "hey do you have a sec?" Just say what you need, clearly and concisely. I would 100% rather get an IM that says, "hey, when you have a sec I need to know how many whatsits we ordered for the foo." It wastes my time and your time and everybody's time to have to have an introductory conversation about the conversation you need to have. If you don't have time to get to something, don't ignore it. Say with words, "we'll need to schedule some time to talk about that, I'm slammed this week but Tuesday after 3 is ok. Put 20 minutes on my calendar." (And then be AVAILABLE for the time you say you're available.)
-Be friendly to everyone equally. You don't have to be friends with everyone, but if you're a socializer, it goes a long way to just say hi and good morning and make sure everyone gets noticed. If your office has cliques, ignore them and just pull everyone into your sphere. People like feeling recognized and valued.
-Troubleshoot your own problems before asking someone for help. It's SUPER OKAY to ask for help, but there's a ton of learned helplessness, particularly with tech-related questions, and I promise you that you're smart enough to open up the system preferences panel by yourself and click on the picture of the printer. Even if it doesn't work, take 15 seconds to at least TRY it before asking someone to do it for you. (This extends to basically everything in life.)
-Keep your calendar up to date, keep track of your own progress, know when you're going to be strapped for time and when you're not, and speak up if there's too much on your plate. If you're routinely struggling to meet your deadlines and you're doing your job (see the first point above), it's not your fault. People will respect you more if you advocate for yourself.
-Probably the most useful tip from my old Ask question was this comment. I take the last 20 minutes of my day every day to clear my desk off and prep my to-do list for the next day. It keeps me on task, helps me prioritize, and keeps tasks from getting lost. (I also really dig scrum boards for keeping track of longer term tasks, but for my current role they aren't really necessary. But you might find them useful.) Basically: keeping yourself organized will make it easier for you to do your job, and doing your job makes people like you more.
-Don't be the smelly one or the loud one or the complainy one or the perpetually stressed one. Once in a while is fine, but don't make it Your Thing.
posted by phunniemee at 9:37 AM on May 17, 2017 [26 favorites]
What would it take to be your favourite coworker/team member/subordinate/colleague?
1. Show up for work.
2. Don't be a dick.
3. Do what your boss says.
4. Don't make your boss look bad.
posted by Rob Rockets at 9:39 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
1. Show up for work.
2. Don't be a dick.
3. Do what your boss says.
4. Don't make your boss look bad.
posted by Rob Rockets at 9:39 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
Be reliable - do your work, or communicate when you can't do your work (communicate to others it will impact, not everyone)
Be pleasant to interact with. You don't have to be the life of the party or anything, but just don't be a dick. Its totally ok to have bad days where you're too stressed, or unhappy, or whatever, but ideally you have the self-awareness to say things like "I am really stressed and grumpy today, sorry if I am being short with you". Every reasonable human being can relate to this and understand.
Don't gossip or badmouth others.
Help the collective team where possible - sharing information that you just learned that may help others, writing documentation for tools/processes/whatever if its not written up, this will help others and also new employees.
posted by Joh at 9:56 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Be pleasant to interact with. You don't have to be the life of the party or anything, but just don't be a dick. Its totally ok to have bad days where you're too stressed, or unhappy, or whatever, but ideally you have the self-awareness to say things like "I am really stressed and grumpy today, sorry if I am being short with you". Every reasonable human being can relate to this and understand.
Don't gossip or badmouth others.
Help the collective team where possible - sharing information that you just learned that may help others, writing documentation for tools/processes/whatever if its not written up, this will help others and also new employees.
posted by Joh at 9:56 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Take the time you need to keep yourself in good working condition. I'm not talking about exercise -- although that's good too -- as much as I'm talking about respite. Sleep enough, enjoy yourself enough, that you can be patient, kind, creative, and clever.
posted by amtho at 10:17 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by amtho at 10:17 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
1. Do your fucking job.
Bonus points:
1. Do your job well!
2. Communicate how things are going work wise
3. Be a decent human being
4. Present yourself at a level appropriate for your job be it intellectually, physically or emotionally.
I suspect we're all going to say variants on the same thing.
posted by larthegreat at 10:43 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Bonus points:
1. Do your job well!
2. Communicate how things are going work wise
3. Be a decent human being
4. Present yourself at a level appropriate for your job be it intellectually, physically or emotionally.
I suspect we're all going to say variants on the same thing.
posted by larthegreat at 10:43 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Make the only gossip you pass on positive gossip. By which I don't mean "share happy personal gossip about people" but rather, always take time to pass on praise or compliments you here to the person you hear them about.
posted by purenitrous at 10:49 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by purenitrous at 10:49 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
People who always like to gossip/complain about your coworkers to you are probably also gossiping/complaining about you to your coworkers. It can sometimes be super tempting to join in because you feel like you're "in" on something but watch out for these people and take the high road.
Know what your job is and do it. By that I mean what does your boss really, really care about? What does your boss' boss really, really care about? If you have a particular skill set or a great idea, fine, but in my experience, if it doesn't align with your boss' priorities, your efforts, impressive as they may be, are going to go unrecognized. Along those lines, know what other people's real jobs are. What do the people you work with have an incentive to focus on?
posted by eeek at 10:54 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
Know what your job is and do it. By that I mean what does your boss really, really care about? What does your boss' boss really, really care about? If you have a particular skill set or a great idea, fine, but in my experience, if it doesn't align with your boss' priorities, your efforts, impressive as they may be, are going to go unrecognized. Along those lines, know what other people's real jobs are. What do the people you work with have an incentive to focus on?
posted by eeek at 10:54 AM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
When a popular coworker died suddenly, one of the things about her that came up again and again was that she never complained about being given work to do. I realized that complaining easily becomes just part of the background noise of work, and I vowed that I would never complain at work again - not even a little, not even jokingly. So yeah, don't complain.
posted by FencingGal at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2017 [6 favorites]
posted by FencingGal at 10:55 AM on May 17, 2017 [6 favorites]
Do your job competently, and when you're stuck, ask questions. And take notes if you can, so you don't have to ask the same questions over and over and over.
I also try to be 'the boring one' in the office; I don't like to discuss controversial topics like politics, religion, etc. until I get a really good feel for the social lay of the land. Or whatever the 'controversial' topics are for your field.
Don't bring smelly items for lunch if you can possibly avoid it - I learned this one the hard way when it came to hard boiled eggs. They stunk up the entire office!
I feel that yes - greeting everyone with a friendly 'hello' is important. Even if you don't work with them directly, you may in the future - if not in this job, then maybe at another one down the line.
Unless you become really good friends with coworkers outside the office, don't friend them on social media platforms like FaceBook, especially if you like to talk about your job there. There's LinkedIn if you want to keep an online professional relationship going. (Also, speaking of social media, I keep any jobs/companies that I work for *off* of there - close friends will probably know where I work already, distant friends/acquaintances don't need to know, and I don't want work and social to bleed into each other and potentially cause a conflict.)
posted by spinifex23 at 11:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
I also try to be 'the boring one' in the office; I don't like to discuss controversial topics like politics, religion, etc. until I get a really good feel for the social lay of the land. Or whatever the 'controversial' topics are for your field.
Don't bring smelly items for lunch if you can possibly avoid it - I learned this one the hard way when it came to hard boiled eggs. They stunk up the entire office!
I feel that yes - greeting everyone with a friendly 'hello' is important. Even if you don't work with them directly, you may in the future - if not in this job, then maybe at another one down the line.
Unless you become really good friends with coworkers outside the office, don't friend them on social media platforms like FaceBook, especially if you like to talk about your job there. There's LinkedIn if you want to keep an online professional relationship going. (Also, speaking of social media, I keep any jobs/companies that I work for *off* of there - close friends will probably know where I work already, distant friends/acquaintances don't need to know, and I don't want work and social to bleed into each other and potentially cause a conflict.)
posted by spinifex23 at 11:13 AM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Two more things based on my current job situation:
1. Don't talk shit about your coworkers to your boss i.e. throw them under the bus. They will find out about it. Ask me how I know.
2. Don't be a suck-up. Some may posit that playing the politics game is a good way to get ahead, but it makes you look really desperate and will make your coworkers think you're an asshole.
posted by strelitzia at 11:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
1. Don't talk shit about your coworkers to your boss i.e. throw them under the bus. They will find out about it. Ask me how I know.
2. Don't be a suck-up. Some may posit that playing the politics game is a good way to get ahead, but it makes you look really desperate and will make your coworkers think you're an asshole.
posted by strelitzia at 11:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Bring positive energy. That glass is half full. No bitching and moaning. If you're going to talk about a problem (every workplace has them), do it with an eye toward solving that problem. My favourite people to supervise and to work alongside are the positive ones who are pleasant to spend time with - even on a rough day. People who are complain-y and moan-y are a chore to be around on any kind of day. Don't be one of those people.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 11:35 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 11:35 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
1) Be mindful about touch and boundaries--use words instead of touch when at all possible, and particularly avoid touch on the less-ok parts of the body (ex: tap on shoulder to get someone's attention? sometimes OK. resting your hand flat on their back while talking to them or instead of saying excuse me? NOT OK.)
2) If you're having life stress that's making you irritable, name it (not the specific cause, just that you are having a hard time) so that people know it's not about them.
3) (This one might be more specific to me) Don't whistle. It's almost physically painful to me, but asking people to stop feels complicated.
posted by needs more cowbell at 11:41 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
2) If you're having life stress that's making you irritable, name it (not the specific cause, just that you are having a hard time) so that people know it's not about them.
3) (This one might be more specific to me) Don't whistle. It's almost physically painful to me, but asking people to stop feels complicated.
posted by needs more cowbell at 11:41 AM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
On bringing snacks: yes, nice thing to do. But do not push the snack bowl toward people, do not comment if they don't take your snacks, and do not present your snacks as some kind of bribe for sitting through an unpleasant meeting. Never talk about your diet or anyone else's.
posted by clavicle at 11:58 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
posted by clavicle at 11:58 AM on May 17, 2017 [5 favorites]
Be aware and mindful of your coworkers' temperaments and engage accordingly. Maintain an even-keeled disposition, always. Assume good intentions. Rise above pettiness. Don't take things personally.
posted by tackypink at 12:02 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by tackypink at 12:02 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
A lot of these are ways to be OK at your job, but those are baseline expectations. To be my favorite, as you asked, you've got to go beyond just showing up on time, being nice, and doing your work.
1. Learn incessantly. You will probably have a training agenda, formal or informal. Figure out what it is, and then be ahead of schedule. Ask questions about what you're learning, take copious notes (seriously, carry a notebook everywhere), and review your notes often.
2. Don't just not-complain; offer solutions. If you hear someone else complaining about something, redirect it into a brainstorming session.
3. Participate in meetings. Everyone hates them, yeah. But you know what makes them suck less? When people actually have interesting things to say. Find out the agenda of the meeting beforehand, and be prepared to discuss it. If you have regular status update meetings, always have at least one thing to bring up. And, to the extent it's possible, make them topics that open discussion among your co-workers - don't just make yourself heard; make them feel like they're being heard, too.
4. Volunteer for projects. Don't just take on any work. That's a recipe for falling behind and not getting things done. But when something interesting comes up, be there. In my department, there are three or four of us (out of ten) who comprise pretty much every special project or task force. Guess who my favorite co-workers are.
5. Relatedly, find the people who are already the best, and emulate them. It shouldn't be hard to figure out, but if you need help, just ask. When you're onboarding, ask your boss "who should I try to be like?". Then observe. How do they act in the break room? What do they do around clients? Are they deferential to authority? These are the people you're going to be compared against.
6. Don't be too chipper, or a teacher's pet. Being your boss's favorite employee is most definitely not the same thing as being your co-workers' favorite co-worker. It's not a bad thing to make your boss happy, but you can do it without kissing ass. And absolutely nobody wants to hear you say things like "it's such a great day to be here at work!" or "I'm just so grateful to be here".
7. Don't assume your boss knows what he/she is doing, or that his/her boss knows what he/she is doing. Instead, understand what the job requires, and do that. Ultimately, you answer to your customers, not to your boss. Focus on making them happy, and your boss will eventually come around. (And if he/she doesn't come around, it's a shitty place to work.)
8. As you become more experienced, mentor new people. Make a list of things that you wish people had told you when you were new, and then share that with people who start after you. Make their lives easier than yours was.
Some other things you'll have to consider:
9. Decide as soon as you can whether you want to incorporate your new co-workers into your social life or not. Your first couple of weeks, you'll be flooded with friend requests from your new co-workers on Facebook. You might be invited to a happy hour. Is that something you're interested in? Once you accept those friend requests and go to that happy hour, you can't go back.
10. Try to avoid drama in your personal life, and to the extent that you do have personal drama, do NOT share it with co-workers. None of your co-workers care about your custody battle with your ex, or how your landlord is evicting you from your apartment because of noise complaints, or whatever. Keep all that to yourself, no matter how social you end up being with your co-workers.
Finally, there is one absolute, rock-solid commandment: you must NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER hum, whistle, or sing in the office. There are related rules (don't turn your headphones up so loud that other people can hear them, don't sing along with your headphones, etc.), but humming and/or whistling are grounds for immediate shunning.
posted by kevinbelt at 12:04 PM on May 17, 2017 [7 favorites]
1. Learn incessantly. You will probably have a training agenda, formal or informal. Figure out what it is, and then be ahead of schedule. Ask questions about what you're learning, take copious notes (seriously, carry a notebook everywhere), and review your notes often.
2. Don't just not-complain; offer solutions. If you hear someone else complaining about something, redirect it into a brainstorming session.
3. Participate in meetings. Everyone hates them, yeah. But you know what makes them suck less? When people actually have interesting things to say. Find out the agenda of the meeting beforehand, and be prepared to discuss it. If you have regular status update meetings, always have at least one thing to bring up. And, to the extent it's possible, make them topics that open discussion among your co-workers - don't just make yourself heard; make them feel like they're being heard, too.
4. Volunteer for projects. Don't just take on any work. That's a recipe for falling behind and not getting things done. But when something interesting comes up, be there. In my department, there are three or four of us (out of ten) who comprise pretty much every special project or task force. Guess who my favorite co-workers are.
5. Relatedly, find the people who are already the best, and emulate them. It shouldn't be hard to figure out, but if you need help, just ask. When you're onboarding, ask your boss "who should I try to be like?". Then observe. How do they act in the break room? What do they do around clients? Are they deferential to authority? These are the people you're going to be compared against.
6. Don't be too chipper, or a teacher's pet. Being your boss's favorite employee is most definitely not the same thing as being your co-workers' favorite co-worker. It's not a bad thing to make your boss happy, but you can do it without kissing ass. And absolutely nobody wants to hear you say things like "it's such a great day to be here at work!" or "I'm just so grateful to be here".
7. Don't assume your boss knows what he/she is doing, or that his/her boss knows what he/she is doing. Instead, understand what the job requires, and do that. Ultimately, you answer to your customers, not to your boss. Focus on making them happy, and your boss will eventually come around. (And if he/she doesn't come around, it's a shitty place to work.)
8. As you become more experienced, mentor new people. Make a list of things that you wish people had told you when you were new, and then share that with people who start after you. Make their lives easier than yours was.
Some other things you'll have to consider:
9. Decide as soon as you can whether you want to incorporate your new co-workers into your social life or not. Your first couple of weeks, you'll be flooded with friend requests from your new co-workers on Facebook. You might be invited to a happy hour. Is that something you're interested in? Once you accept those friend requests and go to that happy hour, you can't go back.
10. Try to avoid drama in your personal life, and to the extent that you do have personal drama, do NOT share it with co-workers. None of your co-workers care about your custody battle with your ex, or how your landlord is evicting you from your apartment because of noise complaints, or whatever. Keep all that to yourself, no matter how social you end up being with your co-workers.
Finally, there is one absolute, rock-solid commandment: you must NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER hum, whistle, or sing in the office. There are related rules (don't turn your headphones up so loud that other people can hear them, don't sing along with your headphones, etc.), but humming and/or whistling are grounds for immediate shunning.
posted by kevinbelt at 12:04 PM on May 17, 2017 [7 favorites]
As jessamyn says, be friendly but adjust to individual coworkers' levels. If you can't figure out someone's level, start on the brief side, e.g. "yeah, I had a fun weekend" rather than a play-by-play of your cousin's neighbor's barbecue.
As a corollary, when chatting with someone, be courteous to the other people in the space. If you're talking to someone in a row of cubes, the people surrounding cubes can hear your conversation - it's hard to concentrate on work when someone else is talking three feet away. Don't pause in stairwells or hallways or in front of bathroom doors to chat, either.
Don't complain needlessly, but do push back when necessary. It can help you and your team in the long run when you speak up about unrealistic or unreasonable requests instead of trying to push them through.
Exceed higher-ups' expectations without shifting the baseline for your peers and assistants. Staying late is a good example: if everyone typically leaves at 5 and you stay until 6 every day, your coworkers might start feeling pressure to stay later and later.
Be tidy with any sort of shared files, documents, calendars, etc. Pay attention to existing naming/organization conventions when they exist; in their absence, err on the side of more information.
Avoid being the only person who knows how to do something. Teach your coworkers, and write out instructions. If you're going on vacation, give people a heads up with both things you expect to happen and things that might happen.
TAKE SICK DAYS. Please. Even if you feel okay enough to work, don't come in if you're contagious. Especially if you have coworkers with small children (what's tolerable for you might be a mandatory sick day for a preschooler).
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:19 PM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
As a corollary, when chatting with someone, be courteous to the other people in the space. If you're talking to someone in a row of cubes, the people surrounding cubes can hear your conversation - it's hard to concentrate on work when someone else is talking three feet away. Don't pause in stairwells or hallways or in front of bathroom doors to chat, either.
Don't complain needlessly, but do push back when necessary. It can help you and your team in the long run when you speak up about unrealistic or unreasonable requests instead of trying to push them through.
Exceed higher-ups' expectations without shifting the baseline for your peers and assistants. Staying late is a good example: if everyone typically leaves at 5 and you stay until 6 every day, your coworkers might start feeling pressure to stay later and later.
Be tidy with any sort of shared files, documents, calendars, etc. Pay attention to existing naming/organization conventions when they exist; in their absence, err on the side of more information.
Avoid being the only person who knows how to do something. Teach your coworkers, and write out instructions. If you're going on vacation, give people a heads up with both things you expect to happen and things that might happen.
TAKE SICK DAYS. Please. Even if you feel okay enough to work, don't come in if you're contagious. Especially if you have coworkers with small children (what's tolerable for you might be a mandatory sick day for a preschooler).
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:19 PM on May 17, 2017 [8 favorites]
Yeah, I was going to say, to the notes above about not ever complaining: Do complain. In difficult situations, teams bond over complaint. Remember that you're human. And in general you will be more respected if you stand up for yourself and your team when it's justified and/or raise a flag if something is wrong and deserves comment. Just do it sparingly and in the right contexts. And do due diligence beforehand—don't complain only to get caught out for some aspect of the situation you contributed to negatively.
posted by limeonaire at 12:58 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by limeonaire at 12:58 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
I guess also: Be circumspect. If you see something you think might need changing, be polite and politic in making any suggestions—it may be somebody's pet thing, or there may be other political reasons why something is the way it is. Your boss or colleague may have been the one who set up something you don't think is ideal. You may need to wait and see on some things. That said, if you see something that seems definitely wrong that no one else has mentioned, say something—just mind how you say it.
Moreover: Don't make errors personal. You're getting this from a copy editor and QA person. I used to view errors almost as a moral failing. I would get on my high horse with even my superiors about things like this, and it didn't really do wonders for my popularity. I do still get upset if I see the same errors over and over from the same people, because then they're not learning from their mistakes. But...errors happen. Mistakes happen. Sometimes mistakes happen due to factors beyond one's control or even due to company or team culture. What matters is how you handle them and how you learn from them—and how you establish best practices to avoid them as a team.
You should also read about radical candor. How well this approach might be received depends upon your company culture and your standing within a given company, but the principles are good ones to know.
Reading Rands' archives also really helped inform my ideas about how teams and workplaces ideally can and should function. I always liked "Bits, Features, and Truth" a lot. How applicable these ideas are will depend upon your workplace, but most teams have some aspect of this.
posted by limeonaire at 1:43 PM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
Moreover: Don't make errors personal. You're getting this from a copy editor and QA person. I used to view errors almost as a moral failing. I would get on my high horse with even my superiors about things like this, and it didn't really do wonders for my popularity. I do still get upset if I see the same errors over and over from the same people, because then they're not learning from their mistakes. But...errors happen. Mistakes happen. Sometimes mistakes happen due to factors beyond one's control or even due to company or team culture. What matters is how you handle them and how you learn from them—and how you establish best practices to avoid them as a team.
You should also read about radical candor. How well this approach might be received depends upon your company culture and your standing within a given company, but the principles are good ones to know.
Reading Rands' archives also really helped inform my ideas about how teams and workplaces ideally can and should function. I always liked "Bits, Features, and Truth" a lot. How applicable these ideas are will depend upon your workplace, but most teams have some aspect of this.
posted by limeonaire at 1:43 PM on May 17, 2017 [4 favorites]
One more thing: The work is as much about building relationships and reputation as it is about what you're actually doing or the product you ship. Don't be pedantic. Always think about how to make processes repeatable and distributable. Own everything you take on to the fullest extent, but don't be possessive or territorial about tasks that are yours—and recognize that if you are, it may momentarily make you feel important but in fact can turn you into a bottleneck and someone who is blamed for any resulting issues or delays. It also can basically informally volunteer you to always be the person with the answers about X thing, even on your days off or sick days or what have you. Give that stuff up. Share. Being an expert is awesome, but hoarding your knowledge can backfire on you and actually destroy your job security, rather than bolstering it.
posted by limeonaire at 1:55 PM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by limeonaire at 1:55 PM on May 17, 2017 [2 favorites]
Don't ask me a question unless you really want to know my answer. In other words, don't phrase something as a question when really you just want me to confirm what you already think/want to do. And if you forget, and do just that, don't rephrase the question to get the answer you want.
Don't loop new people into emails unless it is absolutely necessary. Same goes for ccing.
Try to understand how what you do affects people in other departments.
posted by lyssabee at 1:59 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
Don't loop new people into emails unless it is absolutely necessary. Same goes for ccing.
Try to understand how what you do affects people in other departments.
posted by lyssabee at 1:59 PM on May 17, 2017 [1 favorite]
There's a right way to complain and a wrong way. Examples:
Wrong:
The printer doesn't work.
Why are these files so out of order? Can't anyone spell?
Why can't Bridget ever get back to me on time?
Right:
I wasn't able to connect to the printer. I tried rebooting my laptop and resetting the network but still nothing. Are you able to connect so I can tell IT if it's just my computer?
I'm going to take some time to go through the files and make sure they're alphabetized.
(next time you need Bridget to get back to you): Hey Bridget, I need this information by Wednesday. Thanks.
In other words, if you don't have either a solution or at least steps you've tried to rectify something, don't make a complaint.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:08 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
Wrong:
The printer doesn't work.
Why are these files so out of order? Can't anyone spell?
Why can't Bridget ever get back to me on time?
Right:
I wasn't able to connect to the printer. I tried rebooting my laptop and resetting the network but still nothing. Are you able to connect so I can tell IT if it's just my computer?
I'm going to take some time to go through the files and make sure they're alphabetized.
(next time you need Bridget to get back to you): Hey Bridget, I need this information by Wednesday. Thanks.
In other words, if you don't have either a solution or at least steps you've tried to rectify something, don't make a complaint.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 2:08 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
If someone asks a question, answer it directly. If it can be answered as a 'yes' or 'no', that's probably the answer ther person wants. If you don't know the answer, say that you don't know instead of wasting your coworker's time with a bunch of unrelated information. Don't turn your 'no's into dead ends. If you can find out the answer, say "I don't know, but I can research it."
posted by tofu_crouton at 2:46 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
posted by tofu_crouton at 2:46 PM on May 17, 2017 [3 favorites]
Use breath mints or gum. Your co-workers will appreciate it.
posted by cwarmy at 9:25 AM on May 19, 2017
posted by cwarmy at 9:25 AM on May 19, 2017
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by craven_morhead at 9:21 AM on May 17, 2017 [29 favorites]