My ass looks like ass
May 1, 2017 9:41 AM   Subscribe

Does anyone make some kind of underpant support/ass sling to make the drooping asses of middle-aged fat men look a bit better?

I have a drooping, middle-aged, fat man's ass. I've accepted the fact that there's little I can do about it without a butt lift. The muscles underneath are pretty solid, but years of abuse has left me with an unseemly undercarriage. Are there some kind of compression pant specifically targeted to making this look a little better? That comes in big person sizes?

I'm not vain. And I've been very accepting of my misshapen parts. But I've found a pair of pants that actually look -really- good on me from the front and sides. But given the cut and material, from behind, my butt looks like an elephant's butt. It looks like that without pants, but I'd rather not show that to the world. So, is there anything short of surgery that I can mask it with?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (7 answers total)
Have you tried tight boxer briefs with ~5% spandex or similar? Some of them are pretty much Spanx for men's butts. Assuming you're still in the Bay Area, you might look for clothing stores that cater to gay men, especially bears.

I have no experience with them, but Bearskn has boxerbriefs in that style and fit up to 6XL.

Otherwise, you can look for athletic compression shorts that fit you, they'll do a lot of molding and conforming that will help you look good, though they can get uncomfortable over time.
posted by Candleman at 10:20 AM on May 1, 2017

The search term you're looking for is "shapewear."

I don't have any experience with this product specifically, but the company itself is well known for quality compression garments.
posted by AFABulous at 10:37 AM on May 1, 2017 [4 favorites]

There're tonnes. Google "butt lift underwear for men," "men's shapewear," "bum enhancing underpants men's," etc.

(I have no personal or secondhand experience with these. I got sucked down this particular Google rabbit hole once while trying to buy normal men's pants, and found a hidden world of...enhancement.)
posted by kmennie at 10:38 AM on May 1, 2017

You should check out Spanx for men. Spanx is a very sought-after product for ladies with similar, ahem, undercarriage issues. It does the thing.
posted by ananci at 11:52 AM on May 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

You've got lots of options like Spanx made by other brands. Even Calvin Klein makes a version. There are also pants built to lift the butt, like Bonobos. Beware: Bonobos are expensive and I, uh, really disliked the way they fit (I'm sure some people adjust quickly to the feeling of pants pulling on one's ass like that, but it made me feel like I constantly needed to check out my butt in a mirror to make sure something wasn't going wrong).

FWIW, you can adopt a routine of a couple straightforward bodyweight exercises that build out your glutes. I started doing bridges for physical therapy a few years ago. After a few weeks, my pants got tight enough that I had to change pants sizes.
posted by late afternoon dreaming hotel at 12:58 PM on May 1, 2017

I found these "butt lifters". This is neat, I didn't know they made this stuff for men.
posted by kitcat at 3:17 PM on May 1, 2017

Response by poster: I really appreciate the responses. I'm think I'm going to try ordering some things.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:02 PM on May 2, 2017

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