Last-Minute Dystopian Snack Assistance
April 25, 2017 6:25 PM   Subscribe

My feminist science fiction book club is having a watch-party for the first episode of The Handmaid's Tale on Hulu tomorrow (and yes, there will be much discussion as to its inclusion in our feminist science fiction cannon). But naturally one MUST eat while hiding one's face behind a pillow at the realness of it all and I need help with my dessert game.

This is a classic "I can't believe I'm using a question for this", but...

I'm pretty set on making meringue cookies piped into little handmaid-hats, and will in fact be doing that as soon as this question is submitted. But I don't actually like to EAT meringue cookies that much, so I wanted something more substantial and red for the bottom. I had originally planned to do macrons but apparently I'd need gel food-coloring in order to get them handmaid colored and not mess with the ratio. velvet cupcakes? How would I attach the hats? Are there other delicious creations that are either red or can be made red with unholy amounts of un-gel food-color? These can't be pink, y'all. This is serious.

Assume well-stocked kitchen and comfort with most baking tasks.

Complication: I'm heading to the viewing after work, so these must be transportable. By bike. So probably assembly will have to happen at the party and probably without many tools.
posted by theweasel to Food & Drink (10 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I vote red velvet cupcakes, which require a ton of food coloring, but it doesn't have to be gel. Make a batch of cream cheese frosting and color it red. When you get to the party, pipe a glop of frosting onto the top of each cupcake and use the frosting as glue to make the hats adhere. You don't need any special tools to pipe icing: just cut the corner off of a ziplock bag.

One complication: this would work best if you could keep the frosting refrigerated while you were at work.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:46 PM on April 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Tiny cups of homemade cranberry sauce (very easy to make)

Large, fresh strawberries, or fruit cups full of red berries

tiny cups of homemade borscht or other beet-based food

Tiny biscuits, scones, English muffins, or shortbread cookies with red jam spread on top
posted by amtho at 7:25 PM on April 25, 2017

Strawberries half dipped in white chocolate? Quick, easy and very transportable.
posted by BeeJiddy at 7:39 PM on April 25, 2017 [5 favorites]

Tiny strawberry shortcakes that you assemble when you arrive

Oranges (they aren't red, but Offred finds oranges at the market and it's kind of a big deal because they're so scarce... you might find blood oranges)
Ice cream with jimmies (she remembers this when thinking about sundays with her daughter)
posted by mochapickle at 9:12 PM on April 25, 2017 [1 favorite]

This is a tough bake at the last minute, but really you should be making Religieuse (Nuns) pastry.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:58 PM on April 25, 2017 [2 favorites]

Nothing says dystopian future like the hot new trend of edible insects. Perhaps one of the species featured on the Girl Meets Bug blog could be used as a decoration on top of each cupcake.
posted by fairmettle at 11:13 PM on April 25, 2017

Nthing the dipped strawberries- everyone loves those. They are often the first things scarfed up at any event.

Oh and Dystopian Snack Assistance is now on my band name list.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 2:37 AM on April 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

If you're near a Trader Joe's, they have freeze-dried raspberries that can be pulverized into an intensely red powder that you can use to dip your meringue cookies in! Delicious and arresting.
posted by exceptinsects at 12:44 PM on April 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

Or maybe even dust it on before baking, it might stick better that way.
posted by exceptinsects at 12:45 PM on April 26, 2017

Insider info: the store in the show has items depicted using simple, retro-looking pictograms. Print some icons of whatever you're serving (fruit, cheese, bread, wine, etc) and put next to the food items.
posted by SassHat at 7:33 PM on May 1, 2017 [1 favorite]

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