What should I get my friend in Australia?
December 20, 2016 12:44 PM Subscribe
I have a friend who lives in Sydney who's been having a string of serious health issues while completing a graduate degree. She's on a grad student stipend, so money is tight, and I know that that is a stressor for her. What should I get her that will enhance her day to day life?
She has a fairly classic style, enjoys reading (but has a kindle), and likes bath and body products though she is too frugal to buy herself inessentials. She also enjoys makeup and does not indulge very often. Gourmet food items and snacks would also make a good gift.
I was thinking of sending her a subscription beauty or food box, but other ideas are also welcome. Basically, I would like to get her either small things that make her happy or one larger present that will enhance her quality of life. I'm US based, and am having a hard time thinking of the perfect gift. My budget is anywhere up to 175$. I could spend more for the perfect gift.
Thoughts?
She has a fairly classic style, enjoys reading (but has a kindle), and likes bath and body products though she is too frugal to buy herself inessentials. She also enjoys makeup and does not indulge very often. Gourmet food items and snacks would also make a good gift.
I was thinking of sending her a subscription beauty or food box, but other ideas are also welcome. Basically, I would like to get her either small things that make her happy or one larger present that will enhance her quality of life. I'm US based, and am having a hard time thinking of the perfect gift. My budget is anywhere up to 175$. I could spend more for the perfect gift.
Thoughts?
What about a pair of really nice, fluffy bath towels? I got this for my (frugal) cousin, and he loved it.
posted by gemutlichkeit at 1:16 PM on December 20, 2016
posted by gemutlichkeit at 1:16 PM on December 20, 2016
Small thoughtful gift.
And cash sent anonymously.
posted by sexyrobot at 2:31 PM on December 20, 2016
And cash sent anonymously.
posted by sexyrobot at 2:31 PM on December 20, 2016
Best answer: Small frugal gift, cash sent non-anonymously. (String of health problems here, broke because of it...) If I got a $175 gift card to a spa or something, I would turn around and sell it and pay down the bills and find that far, far more de-stressing.
(Also, I hate spas, and rail against the idea that they are universally appreciated as people often suggest. I explained this to a male friend once, the curse that all women are expected to thrill to having underpaid women cut their toenails and so on, and it is the default "She'll love it" gift if one is female. He paused and said, "I think I get you. For guys, it's golf. I hate golf, but that doesn't stop the idea that my boss thinks all the men in the department think golfing is a big treat." {Say, does she enjoy a round of golf...?} Those sorts of luxury whatnot are better for people who are on fixed incomes and long-term tight budgeting, not so much for situational poverty/crises.)
I would also like the opportunity to thank you if I was your friend, and if I got an anonymous donation in the mail -- well, enough people know my situation so it wouldn't be totally bizarre, but if hers is a newish thing and on the down-low she might worry about who knows so much about her life that they're sending her cash assistance. Also, this is a very, very nice thing you are doing, and do not underestimate the value of the stress relief involved in getting to sit around and think, "MFZ loves and cares for me. I have friends who have my back in hard times." I (thank god) have a number of people who have gone above and beyond for me and my kid in difficult spots and I can't tell you how much it means. For years after the fact. "People like me, and care" is a huge present when life is giving you a good kicking.
"One larger present that will enhance her quality of life" is, for those up against the wire, cash. This doesn't mean you can't tuck the money order into a little box of assorted goodies. But a wad of cash spent on luxury goods is a treat for people who are free of significant financial stressors -- it easily becomes a stressor if you have to look at it and think of how many bags of apples that one little bag of chocolate-dipped dried Turkish figs would've bought.
The thought behind a cheque will, I promise, be a de-stressor. A friend who cares and understands is a lot more meaningful than a box-of-X subscription or luxury robe or what-have-you.
(Send luxury goods, if you have the means, once the immediate crisis has passed!)
posted by kmennie at 3:13 PM on December 20, 2016 [7 favorites]
(Also, I hate spas, and rail against the idea that they are universally appreciated as people often suggest. I explained this to a male friend once, the curse that all women are expected to thrill to having underpaid women cut their toenails and so on, and it is the default "She'll love it" gift if one is female. He paused and said, "I think I get you. For guys, it's golf. I hate golf, but that doesn't stop the idea that my boss thinks all the men in the department think golfing is a big treat." {Say, does she enjoy a round of golf...?} Those sorts of luxury whatnot are better for people who are on fixed incomes and long-term tight budgeting, not so much for situational poverty/crises.)
I would also like the opportunity to thank you if I was your friend, and if I got an anonymous donation in the mail -- well, enough people know my situation so it wouldn't be totally bizarre, but if hers is a newish thing and on the down-low she might worry about who knows so much about her life that they're sending her cash assistance. Also, this is a very, very nice thing you are doing, and do not underestimate the value of the stress relief involved in getting to sit around and think, "MFZ loves and cares for me. I have friends who have my back in hard times." I (thank god) have a number of people who have gone above and beyond for me and my kid in difficult spots and I can't tell you how much it means. For years after the fact. "People like me, and care" is a huge present when life is giving you a good kicking.
"One larger present that will enhance her quality of life" is, for those up against the wire, cash. This doesn't mean you can't tuck the money order into a little box of assorted goodies. But a wad of cash spent on luxury goods is a treat for people who are free of significant financial stressors -- it easily becomes a stressor if you have to look at it and think of how many bags of apples that one little bag of chocolate-dipped dried Turkish figs would've bought.
The thought behind a cheque will, I promise, be a de-stressor. A friend who cares and understands is a lot more meaningful than a box-of-X subscription or luxury robe or what-have-you.
(Send luxury goods, if you have the means, once the immediate crisis has passed!)
posted by kmennie at 3:13 PM on December 20, 2016 [7 favorites]
Maybe cash with a note saying "turns out I have a little extra this month and there's nothing I'd rather do with it than send it your way". Plus one little thing that lasts medium-term (small, nice box of chocolates that she can eat one a day for a week and enjoy consuming) and one little thing that lasts longer term that she can look at and think "Aw, there's my gift from MFZ". I have a pink hairband a friend sent me out of the blue, probably only cost a couple of pounds, and I've probably only used it half a dozen times, but it hangs in my bathroom and I always get a warm glow when I see it and think of my friend deciding I'd like it and going to the trouble of sending me a present.
If she tries to protest at the money, tell her you're sending it because you know that she'll pay it forward one day, years from now, if she's ever able to do so without causing herself any hardship, so it's a gift that'll keep on giving down the line. That way it feels less like a one-way gift and more like an act of generosity you're sharing.
posted by penguin pie at 3:42 PM on December 20, 2016
If she tries to protest at the money, tell her you're sending it because you know that she'll pay it forward one day, years from now, if she's ever able to do so without causing herself any hardship, so it's a gift that'll keep on giving down the line. That way it feels less like a one-way gift and more like an act of generosity you're sharing.
posted by penguin pie at 3:42 PM on December 20, 2016
Money. Speaking as a previously dead broke Uni student, nothing would have meant more to me than knowing my electricity wasn't going to get switched off or that I wasn't going to be eating rice for the fifth time that week.
posted by Jubey at 3:48 PM on December 20, 2016
posted by Jubey at 3:48 PM on December 20, 2016
Response by poster: I forgot to mention, she's very proud, and if I send cash might stop venting to me about how much it sucks to be where she is now financially. If cash is still the answer, how do I send a prepaid gift card to Australia from the US?
posted by MFZ at 4:55 PM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by MFZ at 4:55 PM on December 20, 2016 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I'd suggest a gift card to her grocery store. If not her basic grocery store, perhaps a more specialty one (think Central Market instead of HEB) so she can treat herself in that way and still be buying groceries.
My loved ones did this for me recently when I went back to school and I deeply appreciated it.
posted by sevensnowflakes at 4:59 PM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]
My loved ones did this for me recently when I went back to school and I deeply appreciated it.
posted by sevensnowflakes at 4:59 PM on December 20, 2016 [1 favorite]
Booze. This, of course, assumes that she drinks, but 12 bottles of white wine would help a lot with the summer parties where you're expected to bring something. Also can be easily regifted. Also drunk whenever she wants.
posted by kjs4 at 7:19 PM on December 20, 2016
posted by kjs4 at 7:19 PM on December 20, 2016
Best answer: Coles Myer gift card. It can be used at a department store (Myer) or supermarket (Coles) so then she can either spend it on a treat for herself or on groceries if things are tight. They are a pretty common gift here (I was given one as a wedding gift from my work) so I don't think it would cause offence if she is proud. You can order them online at this site
posted by Kris10_b at 1:23 AM on December 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Kris10_b at 1:23 AM on December 21, 2016 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I wouldn't send a gift card -- on a crisis budget she might be flitting from store to store to grab what's on sale, or digging through obscure thrifts, or about to get her phone service cut off, or...who knows. Here and there somebody gives me a mall gift card, which is very sweet, because they would like me to treat myself. The issue there is that I have spent so many years being frugal I never set foot in a mall now and am horrified by the outrageous prices for poor-quality goods; I want to be back in my thrift stores, my quality/discounted mail-order, my out-of-the-way food shops with cheap basmati, my scary Visa bill, etc. If there's a way to not limit her to one store, I'd do cash.
A money order should fit the bill. (These are easy to buy in other currencies here in Canada, but I had a hard time finding them in non-USD in the States -- perhaps somebody else can chip in? And, with cash she can dip into kjs4's idea and buy a bottle along with more pedestrian goods...)
(Alternatively, send ten envelopes with USD$20 in each? :) And how nice if she stops venting about $ as a bonus; you will know you have done a good de-stressing then. On her behalf, thanks!)
posted by kmennie at 9:31 PM on December 22, 2016
A money order should fit the bill. (These are easy to buy in other currencies here in Canada, but I had a hard time finding them in non-USD in the States -- perhaps somebody else can chip in? And, with cash she can dip into kjs4's idea and buy a bottle along with more pedestrian goods...)
(Alternatively, send ten envelopes with USD$20 in each? :) And how nice if she stops venting about $ as a bonus; you will know you have done a good de-stressing then. On her behalf, thanks!)
posted by kmennie at 9:31 PM on December 22, 2016
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posted by chiquitita at 12:51 PM on December 20, 2016