How to fill a trump piñata?
December 15, 2016 9:24 AM   Subscribe

What sorts of candy or other small items would make for the best Trump piñata?
posted by f_panda to Grab Bag (50 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
Circus peanuts: orange and toxic.
posted by Zonker at 9:25 AM on December 15, 2016 [39 favorites]


Chocolate coins.
posted by scruffy-looking nerfherder at 9:25 AM on December 15, 2016 [14 favorites]


Super sours
Enormous jaw breakers
posted by From Bklyn at 9:27 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Gummy worms.
posted by wryly at 9:27 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Russian candies
posted by mochapickle at 9:29 AM on December 15, 2016 [13 favorites]


Mexican candies.
posted by sukeban at 9:30 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Cheetos, surely.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:31 AM on December 15, 2016 [17 favorites]


The one we had for Halloween we filled with Mexican and Chinese candy. If I were filling one now, it would be just dog poop and gold glitter.
posted by Drosera at 9:39 AM on December 15, 2016 [20 favorites]


Unwrapped Baby Ruth chocolate bars look like turds. That's what I'd go with.
posted by ATX Peanut at 9:43 AM on December 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


Nthing circus peanuts, chocolate coins and russian candy. Or matroyshka chocolates.
posted by purple_bird at 9:45 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Assorted butt plugs
posted by chevyvan at 9:51 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Salmiakki.
posted by dilaudid at 9:52 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Live scorpions?

Shitty steaks?

But ok, serious answer:

Skittles and Tic Tacs
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 9:52 AM on December 15, 2016 [13 favorites]


Little sticky hands
posted by Mchelly at 10:03 AM on December 15, 2016 [22 favorites]


Or how about Pinocchio erasers?
posted by Mchelly at 10:06 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Dum Dums.
posted by constellations at 10:08 AM on December 15, 2016 [11 favorites]


Something gold, like gold chocolate coins.
posted by StrawberryPie at 10:11 AM on December 15, 2016


Also, Russian-themed things.
posted by StrawberryPie at 10:11 AM on December 15, 2016


Laaaadyfingers!
posted by mochapickle at 10:19 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Tiny hands
posted by papayaninja at 10:20 AM on December 15, 2016 [11 favorites]


IOUs for healthcare, security, and human rights.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 10:31 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Lego bricks for the wall.
posted by teremala at 10:51 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Papayaninja's suggested tiny hands made me laugh out loud, IRL.
posted by purple_bird at 10:59 AM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


A smaller Putin piñata.
posted by zamboni at 11:00 AM on December 15, 2016 [29 favorites]


If you go with chocolate coins make sure you don't get Chanukah gelt because anti-semites don't even deserve shitty Jewish fake chocolate. Those tiny hands, tho! Awesome.
posted by Room 641-A at 11:11 AM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


japanese poop-shaped candies
posted by poffin boffin at 11:13 AM on December 15, 2016


Orange-haired troll dolls.
posted by jgirl at 11:31 AM on December 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


I had a trump pinata at my holiday party this past Sunday! I filled mine with packets of tissues (because we'll need them), dark chocolate (helps with dementors), glow-in-the-dark bracelets (for visibility during protests), and a rainbow assortment of condoms (for gay sex, because like HELL we're going to have less gay sex). It was very well received.
posted by a hat out of hell at 11:43 AM on December 15, 2016 [8 favorites]


Also, get some bright turquoise paper and cut out lots of little Twitter birds so that anytime anyone whacks the pinata, some of the birds flutter out.
posted by mochapickle at 11:46 AM on December 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


Nips of Goldschlager. Disgusting liquor masking itself as high-class through the addition of gold.
posted by The Man from Lardfork at 11:49 AM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Noisemakers, to distract from questions about substantive issues.

Toy money, because the appearance of wealth is all that matters.

Every novelty product made to look like poop emoji. The store "Five Below" is probably a good source for this.

Generic OTC meds because this is all many people will have for health care by next year?

Patches of wispy orange fake fur so everyone can have a bad toupee. (Grab a package of bobby pins, too!)

SPIDERS
posted by wenestvedt at 12:59 PM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Airheads.
posted by DuckGirl at 1:04 PM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


The kind of thing you would see at a bachelorette party. [Probably NSFW]
posted by slipthought at 1:05 PM on December 15, 2016


We did black and gold chocolate coins.
posted by history is a weapon at 1:18 PM on December 15, 2016


How about hot air.
posted by tman99 at 1:20 PM on December 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Little baggies of white powder?
posted by BrunoLatourFanclub at 1:26 PM on December 15, 2016


NOTHING! It's full of nothing!
posted by irisclara at 1:38 PM on December 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


Empty wrappers with the word TRUMP emblazoned in gold letters.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:50 PM on December 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


hot air.

australian musk candies are the most unpalatable thing i've ever tasted. i'd go with that.
posted by koroshiya at 2:16 PM on December 15, 2016


Vienna sausages dyed with orange food coloring.
posted by cnc at 2:16 PM on December 15, 2016


I can't believe no one has suggested gummy dicks.
posted by bile and syntax at 2:49 PM on December 15, 2016


Unwrapped Tootsie Rolls.
posted by Nerd of the North at 3:44 PM on December 15, 2016


Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:49 PM on December 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Lumps of coal from the newly-revitalized Appalachian coal mines?
posted by Nerd of the North at 4:05 PM on December 15, 2016


Lemonheads.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:58 PM on December 15, 2016


Where can i get one of these fabulous trump Pinata's? I live in Chicago and would love one for New Years!
posted by Lylo at 11:56 PM on December 15, 2016


Mini croissants - because of this.
posted by Cheese Monster at 2:34 AM on December 16, 2016


Warheads!
posted by Mistress of the Bunnies at 8:07 AM on December 16, 2016


Where can i get one of these fabulous trump Pinata's? I live in Chicago and would love one for New Years!

Reddit discussion.
posted by Benway at 1:38 PM on December 16, 2016


I saw a post somewhere that said, "I want a piñata at my funeral, so people will be happy. Filled with bees, so they won't be too happy."
posted by Bruce H. at 9:02 AM on December 20, 2016


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