this doesn't exist, right?

November 11, 2016 1:35 PM

Is there a dating app for people who want to go on a date, like, now/tonight? I know it sounds like I'm literally just describing a hookup app, but that's not at all what I want.

That is all. Man who dates queer people, usually other men. I'm super impatient, and usually when I'm on Tinder it's because I'm craving social interaction / feeling lonely / excited about the idea of meeting someone new, right then. It feels boring and irritating to chat with someone who seems neat and then agree to meet up in, like, 10 days.

I know what I'm describing just sounds like Grindr, etc, and I realize people do use those apps to connect to actual dating, but in my experience when that happens there's no more immediacy involved than with any other medium. I also realize I can just ask people on Tinder out for that night, but I really think most people interpret that as overly intense.

I feel like this doesn't exist, but maybe there's some weird niche thing I'm not familiar with? I'd also be potentially interested in something similar but for platonic hangouts.

tldr: WHY ARE ALL Y'ALL FRONTING LIKE YOU ALREADY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO TONIGHT

posted by zokni to Human Relations (9 answers total)

Maybe people want to think you're exploring a possible relationship, not just looking for a way to fill empty time and kill momentary boredom? (I mean, if you're not overtly looking for a hookup.) That's not really compatible with impatience/urgency.
posted by acm at 1:55 PM on November 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: But...but...it's the exact same result. If I'm meeting someone based on 5 pictures and a 20-minute chat exchange, why does it matter if we set the date for tonight or in a week?
posted by zokni at 1:56 PM on November 11, 2016

Response by poster: I mean, I totally get the many legitimate reasons someone wouldn't want to meet on short notice, but I don't understand the relation to what you're saying. Ok, sorry, won't threadsit.
posted by zokni at 1:58 PM on November 11, 2016

Man, this is also something that I want. I have super limited, unpredictable pockets of time/energy, that I occasionally want to spend hanging out with someone in a platonic-ish way who I may want to make more time for in the future.

I don't have an answer, though.
posted by wym at 2:00 PM on November 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

Happn has an ''available now'' feature, where you get a note and symbol added to your profile for a 4-hour window, saying that you're available for a specific activity (bite to eat, drink, run, movie, go out, go for a walk), and it enables interested individuals to contact you directly. In case you didn't know, Happn is very similar to Tinder etc. except it's based on proximity. People you've crossed paths with. And so you're likely to match up with someone who lives or works near you. I've had decent success from it, including meeting up with a couple of people!
posted by hasna at 2:20 PM on November 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

Not to be flippant, but go to a bar and talk to someone?
posted by gregr at 2:35 PM on November 11, 2016 [14 favorites]

I've loooong wished that Tinder provided the ability to set an "available now" indicator for this purpose. The closest it has is "Tinder social," which does say who's going out that night, but you need to have a group of your own to join them.

I had the impression that Grindr was more effective for that, but I'm not in the right demographic for it so I don't know from personal experience.
posted by metasarah at 2:58 PM on November 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

This used to exist. It was called "Crazy Blind Date" and you just put in your location and time (as soon as a couple hours away) and it would match you up with someone who was also looking for that time and place. I used it a few times, and they were probably the best dates I ever went on when I was single.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 3:14 PM on November 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I think the app Jones is exactly what you're looking for. I have no idea if there are many people using it, but its whole point is that you hop on it when you're ready to match and meet up with someone within the next hour.
posted by kitty teeth at 6:39 PM on November 11, 2016