How to "Marissa Mayer" a high-powered job negotiation (with new baby)?

October 28, 2016 7:32 PM

Being recruited for a CEO-level position, and I recently had a baby. A mentor of mine suggested that I "Marissa Mayer the s**t out of the negotiation" to ask for all the lifestyle amenities I'll need to make this work. What should I ask for?

Tons of cash? Extra salary on top of the original offer to cover a top-notch full time personal nanny? A baby room next to my office? A driver to take me to and from the office so I can be productive on my commute? The baby is just a few months old. What is reasonable and what is ridiculous?

The company has a reputation for encouraging wellness, but the negotiator seems like a hard-ass dude who doesn't really care about family...

Dream & strategize with me, MeFites!

posted by yearly to Work & Money (16 answers total)

Best answer: Getting the company to throw money at you is probably an easier get than something that like a baby room or a driver that might start up questions about why they don't do that for other working moms if they do it for the CEO's kid. Increased salary is the simplest request and thus, I would think, the most likely to get a yes.
posted by MsMolly at 8:12 PM on October 28, 2016 [22 favorites]

But I also think you need to not tie it explicitly to the fact that you have a kid. Figure out what number you need to make and ask for that, but don't get into the details of what you're going to do with it unless it's really a make or break for you. If you're absolutely going to say no to the job if you don't make enough to employ a nanny, I suppose you could tell them so, but otherwise I think just try to negotiate as hard as you can based on your value to the company alone.
posted by MsMolly at 8:15 PM on October 28, 2016 [9 favorites]

As a CEO, are you prepared to fully sponsor and fund baby rooms next to every other pregnant mother's workspace? Personal drivers for them too? If the answer is no, then please don't make those demands for workplace bennies visibly and directly tied to only your newborn. Ask for a salary bump and use that at your discretion to make your life easier (get extra money, take a taxi or hire your own driver), but don't disillusion others in the organization by flaunting your CEO privilege.

Not only that, you don't want to make them question how much your newborn is going to interfere with your work.

Congrats on the baby though!
posted by SquidLips at 8:38 PM on October 28, 2016 [42 favorites]

Check out the question 2 above yours, about negotiating perks. In addition to a salary that compensates you for nanny/driver/etc., think about a regular teleworking arrangement that will let you work from home, travel limitations/requirements, administrative support, computer/equipment purchase for home office, etc.
posted by Miko at 9:14 PM on October 28, 2016

The flexibility to telecommute is #1 when you are a parent. And at the CEO level, you will be able to make that available to all employees, not only the ones who can afford nannies and drivers. Best of luck leaning in!
posted by Threeve at 9:41 PM on October 28, 2016 [3 favorites]

I don't know your industry, but in my big corporate a CEO demanding benefits which are not available to all would be a total non-starter. I personally get a reflexive sense of revulsion when I hear the question. I find Mayer gross for what she did with her nursery (given that she didn't then turn around and build them for every working mother on her team) and I think most of the executives in my company would feel the same way. It sounds as though you don't see this as a risk in your field, but you might want to consider the potential reaction.

Personally, I would give you the same advice I would give any working parent: Consider the level of cash and flexibility you will need to maintain your work-life balance and negotiate for same.

Another thing which could help you is to make sure that your assistant's duties will extend into your personal life. In other words, make sure you've got a PA. That way if your babysitter craps out on the night before the big event, someone else can do the leg work to find another solution. An assistant is fairly normal, but not all of them are PAs, so that would be a good thing to secure.
posted by frumiousb at 10:08 PM on October 28, 2016 [7 favorites]

Yeah, I don't know if Mayer is the best example, here. For god's sake don't mention her, either, in trying to justify anything, because oh-my, how that has not worked out for anyone!

It's sort of a high-maintenance stereotype to ask for nineteen specific and oddball things in a job negotiation, especially things that others in the firm don't have, and/or to expect your employer to basically solve all your problems, professional and otherwise, by citing a laundry list of demands. This runs a high risk of you coming across as a bit scattered and difficult to please, a special snowflake, a non team-player, a prima donna, and so on. This is not a strong way to go in.

The lower-maintenance way to go is to just ask for a bigger whack of salary or bonuses up front, enough to cover all those small things, which you keep to yourself because it's your business, not theirs. And then you deal with them on your own dime, so to speak, in a sort of self-reliant, resolute way. You ask for more salary and/or bonuses once, and you base it on your value or your future performance... and (important) not based on your needs.

In terms of convincing a prospective employer that not only are you going to be an asset, rather than a pain, going forward, this definitely the way to go. It says: I Got This.

Source: Hired a thousand or so people. Trained others to hire thousands and thousands more. Then retired.
posted by rokusan at 10:14 PM on October 28, 2016 [25 favorites]

Is pre-employment too soon to ask for the establishment of nursery/nanny facilities for all parents employed by the firm?
posted by Cranberry at 11:15 PM on October 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I agree that you probably should just ask for as much money as they'll give you and use that money to hire, in addition to a driver, multiple nannies (one for daytime, one for nights/weekends) and a PA/chef/general helper-around-the-house who makes sure you're fed, the dishes and bottles are washed, you always have clean clothes, all your appliances are working, your lawn is getting mowed, etc. Ideally, you find a PA that you trust implicitly, and let them do the day to day management of the nannies. These employees are all probably expensive. You can find people to do this work for (relatively) cheap, but they will cost you attention and energy you may not have to spare. Your biggest problem will probably be finding people you can trust on short notice. It's worth asking if the company contracts with a nanny agency.

Also, make sure that you have an office with a lock and drapes and your own fridge and the nicest pump money can buy/rent (as far as I know, Medela Symphony is still the pump to beat) so you can pump in there. I think it's pretty standard for a CEO to get a private office, but if you're planning on pumping make sure the privacy situation is top notch.

I hear a lot of moms fantasize about having their baby right nearby and nursing during the workday instead of pumping, Marissa style, but honestly I think that would depress me if I had a big, important job. I like my work, but it'd be rough to be in that post-nursing snuggly-sleepy mode and then have the nanny come in and take the baby so I could dial into a shareholder call or something. Better to draw a hard line between work mode and baby mode, I feel. Of course, everyone is different.
posted by potrzebie at 11:40 PM on October 28, 2016 [7 favorites]

Ask for more money, and then when you're CEO, look into all the other things you mention and do one of those for everyone.

As an example, the faculty where I work get a PAID 12 weeks off if they have a kid. The rest of us have to use vacation and sick time and short term disability. It's a lot not okay.
posted by zizzle at 4:25 AM on October 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

Best answer: I'm going to chime in here and say you should ask for the car and driver to and from work. Hell, I had a towncar service home if I worked late as a beginner law firm associate. A commute is wasted time you could be conference calling, reading, CEO-ing.

I mean, the top execs at my friendly local fortune 50 share a helicopter or two because their time is too valuable to let them sit in traffic to the airport/next nearest city. But the criteria for them getting access to the chopper? "Is there a business need?"

This is the only request that you suggested does not come off as high maintenance. More $$ is another good suggestion. PA is another good suggestion. I suggest using the litmus test "is there a business need" for your requests. Is there a business need for you to have a nursery next to your office? No, sounds like we're thinking of the needs of your kid. Is there a business need for you to get a car in to work? Could be, if you're using that time wisely for business purposes.
posted by slateyness at 5:42 AM on October 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

Given the slant of responses here leaning away from Marissa, what we're the suggestions from your mentor who suggested you do this? There are two types of CEOs, the prima donnas who are entitled and the Warren Buffet and Zuckerburg types who get in the trenches with their employees but clearly have a hefty salary or shares in the company. People here would seem to respect Warren over Marissa. You may need to consult a different board to get the answer your looking for.
posted by waving at 6:43 AM on October 29, 2016

I'm going to throw out a few suggestions as a boss with a small child. I would recommend negotiating for a load of vacation and sick time. When your baby hits about one year, he/she will get sick repeatedly and get you sick repeatedly. Better to have that time and either be off or work from home. I'd also negotiate working from home at least one day a week. A personal assistant is a brilliant idea - you need someone that can pick up the dry cleaning, cover child care in a pinch, make sure you always have a lunch waiting for you and get you coffee/book appointments etc. You'll basically need someone to plan your life for you so you can just show up and do your job. I love the idea of a driver - if that is the norm in your industry, go for it. Also, I assume they give you a laptop and cell phone? That seems basic, but just to be sure you are equipped.

I disagree with basically everyone else here about the nursery. As CEO your job IS different from your other employees and really their jobs depends on that difference and you being successful - basically whatever you need to be successful should be considered. I think it is fine for you to request a nursery, but if you do, you must absolutely be sure that there is a "mother's" room somewhere convenient for other mothers. You can not have women pumping in the bathroom and get a nursery of your own - that just makes you a monster.

Also, once in, I'd change the parental leave rules for the whole place - 36 weeks paid leave would be nice, right mom?
posted by Toddles at 2:33 PM on October 29, 2016

Personally I think money for a nanny and the ability to telework is preferable to a nursery. The baby will be a toddler before you know it, and not really capable of being in an office setting - better to set up a routine now where you maximize awake time with the kid by working from home in the AM and PM.

What is your living situation like? What about renting an apartment next to the office and moving there? Saving an hour commuting means an hour more with your kid.
posted by yarly at 4:30 PM on October 29, 2016

Best answer: When I moved up in my organization, I didn't negotiate for a work day from home and the understanding of a flexible schedule (might get there at 8:30, traffic may be bad, so might get there at nine and work a little later). In some departments at my organization I found out that it was a standard thing. So instead I made an executive decision once hired to give it to myself and every staff person I supervised if it was reasonable (for example, it doesn't work for the front desk staff).

I made a business argument for it - people work from two different locations, and one person entirely off site and I needed people to have an understanding of how to work effectively outside of each other's presence.You really only learn how to use the functionality on software like skype/webex/jabber, if every week, you're at a meeting working from home and are forced to figure out how to share your screen, or invite other people on the call, or troubleshoot the technology.

That said, my own boss is not a fan of flexible work - though frankly, it's helped the staff communicate with him when he's off site. So, I wonder if I negotiated it it would be better. But as a person with a small kid - it has made all the difference in the world to me and my team.

I'd try to find out what, if anything, it the organization's position on telework, to figure out if you're 'perking' what's actually a standard offer.
posted by anitanita at 6:09 PM on October 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Is there a way for you to help other working moms while helping yourself, here? Ask the company to develop a relationship with a nearby daycare, or establish one on site, for instance. Patagonia did it, and they got a huge return in employee engagement and retention, so it's good for the company, too, in the long run.
posted by spindrifter at 10:01 AM on October 31, 2016