Do millennials say "save face" ... ever?
October 20, 2016 8:37 AM   Subscribe

Is the term "save face" one that only older people use, or do millennials use it, too? If they don't use it, what are some alternatives?
posted by frizz to Writing & Language (26 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I would use it. I'm in my early 20s. I don't think of it as something only old people say.

Then again, maybe I just talk like an old person.
posted by mekily at 8:43 AM on October 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I would use it (as an older millennial), but only derisively when referring to someone else's actions. I don't think I have another term for that, but it's definitely a "bad thing" to do/try to do.
posted by brainmouse at 8:48 AM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I use it. I'm 25.
posted by papayaninja at 8:48 AM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm 29 and I guess I would use it, though I think I'd be more likely to say like "preserve [their] image" or something? Never thought of it as an age thing.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 8:54 AM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm 30 and I don't think I ever say save face?
I'd be much more likely to drop "cya" instead.
posted by phunniemee at 9:03 AM on October 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


I'm 28 and I use that term in a (sometimes) positive and (usually) negative way (they only offered to help clean up because they were trying to save face after having puked everywhere)
posted by raccoon409 at 9:05 AM on October 20, 2016


28 going on 29. I've heard it and know what it means, but it doesn't come up in conversation very often. The first time I heard it, I was able to correctly assume what it meant without a definition. I don't think the phrase itself has a negative connotation, but usually it's used after someone did a negative action, and is therefore guilty.

The only similar phrase that comes to mind is "street cred" (e.g. "they're trying to get back their street cred") but that's referring to something really specific. However, it can be modified to things like "nerd cred." There are other context-specific things like "losing your man card" (again substitute 'man' for some other demographic).

And others have already mentioned "preserving one's image' and "covering your ass."
posted by picklenickle at 9:11 AM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Google's Ngram shows minimal usage before 1930, a big jump in the 1930s and early 1940s, and then a steady increase since then, with a slight dip in the last few years. If it were truly a generational shift, I'd expect to see more of a decline, although Ngram is based on written rather spoken language, and more recent trends even in written language wouldn't show up.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 9:14 AM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'd use it for sure, but I'm a millennial with a background in sociology, where it's a pretty fundamental concept even though we don't necessarily use exactly the same vocabulary.
posted by WidgetAlley at 9:15 AM on October 20, 2016


It depends on which context you're referring. For example, in Korea, saving face means something akin to avoiding embarassment and helping others avoid it too. I think the millenial concept adjacent to that would be "chill"/"no chill".
posted by Brittanie at 9:47 AM on October 20, 2016


For example, in Korea, saving face means something akin to avoiding embarassment and helping others avoid it too.
Huh? Is that not what it means in anglophone countries?
posted by inconstant at 10:01 AM on October 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


27 and I have used "save face" on occasion, but mostly to refer to other people's behaviour, like brainmouse said. I am also not a native speaker of English and have picked up a lot of phrases from reading not necessarily the newest books (but also online text resources, obviously) and deal a lot with Japanese people, where that concept comes up more often.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 10:03 AM on October 20, 2016


Not a term I use often (26, F, USA).

I'd probably go with "covering [their/your/her/his] ass", or "put lipstick on a pig" depending on the context.
posted by sazerac at 10:06 AM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"saving face" and "covering your ass" are a bit different to me.
"covering one's ass" means to cover up a mistake or do things to prevent a mistake. "saving face" is about not letting someone's embarrassing gaffe ruin their image and shame them.

Also, the use or non-use of it may be regional and not related to age
posted by bearette at 10:31 AM on October 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Best answer: 32yo Midwesterner of Chinese descent. For Asians and sociologists, 'saving/losing face' is a specific concept that's different from just being embarrassed or trying to CYA. I don't use the phrase often because most of the time, I'm talking about your standard trying-not-to-look-like-a-fool, but I also tend to overthink these things. I don't see it often either, but I just don't think it's a very common turn of phrase outside of the above-mentioned groups.

'Salvaging one's dignity' is probably the closest more general phrase I can think of. 'Preserving one's image' is OK but still feels more superficial than 'saving face'.
posted by yeahlikethat at 11:22 AM on October 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


33yo Brit. I wouldn't think of it as an 'old people' phrase.

To me, to save face means to find a route out of an awkward situation while minimising one's loss of prestige:

"England looked like they would be eliminated from the tournament without scoring once, but they scored a face-saving last-minute goal in their defeat to San Marino"

"Donald was beaten in the election, but tried to save face by claiming that the vote was rigged"
posted by Urtylug at 11:32 AM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm 33 in the US. I use it (and I don't think it's the same thing as CYA at all.)
posted by needs more cowbell at 11:38 AM on October 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'd second that I wouldn't use it in the same context as "cya." Certainly not "lipstick on a pig," which I would never use, ever, for any reason. The phrase in question I see more often in print than hear in conversation, for what that's worth. (Another millennial, US.)
posted by infinite joy at 1:12 PM on October 20, 2016


I'm 32 in the US. I would never use this phrase. Saving dignity is kind of an old fashioned concept to me. Bad things happen and it isn't a direct reflection on the whole.
posted by Kalmya at 1:59 PM on October 20, 2016


I'm 28 and a Chinese American and I definitely use it. "Face" is a social construct, kind of like reputation/trustworthiness/social standing. It's very different from CYA, which to me is about not getting blamed for something.
posted by ethidda at 4:13 PM on October 20, 2016


I'm an older millennial, and while I want to say that I would use it I can't think of a specific instance where it would be my first choice of words. I think I'd tend to go with something like "trying not to look bad" or "trying to cover up their mistake/lie"
posted by tealcake at 4:51 PM on October 20, 2016


I'm 33 and I would say it if the context occurs. Certainly it wouldn't strike me as odd to hear.
posted by J. Wilson at 6:22 PM on October 20, 2016


Saving dignity is kind of an old fashioned concept to me. Bad things happen and it isn't a direct reflection on the whole.

That's pretty much my point, 'face' is like an all-encompassing measure of how well you understand and hold up your end of the social contract (and in the relevant societies this is always is a contract with lots of sub-clauses and fine print). As an immigrant kid it's something I deeply resent but as a shameless American, it's not a concept that plays a significant role in my life and I wouldn't use the term to describe run-of-the-mill fixing embarrassing accidents/screwups.
posted by yeahlikethat at 8:05 PM on October 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Depends on subject. The phrase "saving face" is directly out of traditional Chinese customs. The concept is universal, but it's concept is emphasized through Chinese history.

One extreme end of it resembles the complex unspoken rules of British aristocracy; everyone has an order of precedence in their minds, which might not match up.

Saving face, to me, boils down to maintaining social dominance/standing by choosing the least bad consequence/optics of a poor decision. If that is the question that you're asking, as an old it feels like there is much less personal guilt for being oneself in public.

I like it. Mostly. But my perceived lack of 'owning up' and 'consequences' in youthful trangressions still pisses me off.
posted by porpoise at 8:28 PM on October 20, 2016


I would use it (age 30) as a descriptor for when you don't want someone to get defensive. Like, his idea is terrible but we have to say we appreciate his contribution to let him save face - to keep his self-respect, to show respect, all the same idea. But it's definitely something I think of as a weakness - letting people save face is about finding them ways to back down from a bad idea without ever admitting it was bad, and as an American engineer it feels dishonest to me, but a necessary evil of having to deal with people who let their egos get in the way of the job. (I know: people aren't actually robots. Those are just the biases I come from.)
posted by Lady Li at 12:19 AM on October 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Older US millenial. I would not use it to mean "covering your ass." CYA would be, for example, if I had to make a decision at work with limited information, I would include a note with the project draft explaining what information I had and how I used it. Or if I said I would bring dessert to a dinner party, I might make an extra item to ensure I had enough for everyone, even at the risk of it being overkill.

I would use "saving face" to describe a situation where I could have been embarrassed but instead twisted the appearance of it to not make it look so bad. Saving face could come from a place of humility- getting out in front of and apologizing for a mistake before it snowballs, or of pride- telling a lie to cover up a mistake.

It's not a phrase I use or hear often because situations don't call for it particularly often. However, I would definitely know what it means and not be confused if I heard it.
posted by thewestinggame at 9:46 PM on October 21, 2016


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