Coping with being friend-dumped in the age of social media :(
October 12, 2016 1:29 PM Subscribe
This question contains ongoing millennial grief about being friend-dumped in the age of social media! It's been over a year, I made it so I can't see her Facebook anymore which is great and everything was going perfectly, and I was totally over it. But now she's popped up on my Instagram feed, and it's making me upset all over again. I need some healthy mechanisms to deal with this! Please help! Lots of special snowflake details inside.
I've been friend-dumped by somebody who I considered to be a best friend (she stood up at my wedding and all). It's been a while now -- basically, she stopped wanting to hang out with me pretty much after my wedding, and that's been over 3 years now. Of course I didn't put it together until maybe a year later.
Long story short, over the course of the next year, I came to realize that even though we had been very, very close friends for about 8 years, she just didn't want to hang out with me anymore. She didn't initiate any contact with me -- I was always the one calling her, and texting her. She rejected invitations to hang out/spend time, always saying she was busy but never really giving any alternatives either. And she didn't express any interest in hanging out at all, or coming over to see my new place or anything. Again, it took me a really long time to realize she was fading me out, but looking back, it definitely started right after the wedding. Once I realized she was fading me out, I thought "Well, let's see what happens if I stop calling and texting her." What happened is that we didn't talk for the next 9 months! So, I was really hurt and feeling like she'd ended this friendship and I did not understand why, and I wanted closure. So I did send her a message to ask her what was up. I told her that I'd noticed we'd become distant from each other (literally no contact for 9 months!) and is everything okay, have I or my husband done something to make you upset as looking back, it's really been not much contact from her since my wedding.
She said let's have a sit-down to discuss this. We did. She cited business again. She also said she thought I was busy now that I'm married, because I'd mentioned that a couple times. I said yeah, I have been busy but I'm also making time for friends. Honestly, this was surprising to me, as none of my other friends from the same friends group/circle (or any of my friends groups, really) had said this. We all live busy lives, but we plan for time together, even if it means sometimes we plan to have dinner a month from now.
She also said she'd let "distance come between us" -- which is true, we used to live maybe 6 miles away from each other and would hang out all the time. That changed to about 15 miles after I got married and moved away. I did mention that her work is maybe only 3 miles away from my house, and I'd offered to meet her close to her office for a quick coffee after work or for lunch. She said she doesn't have time for lunch during the workday and just likes to go straight home after work on a weekday. She also said she'd been "going through something" after a break-up, basically giving me the impression that she meant depression. She also said that she didn't have any energy to see any of her friends. At the time (and even now), I was seeing on social media that she was hanging out with other friends almost every weekend. But in any case, I took what she said at face value, and I told her I can make time to hang out whenever she wants. So after this sit-down, I was thinking we've resolved the issue, and we can start hanging out again. However, I did not hear from her again after that, at all. No contact, total silence. I didn't try again since, because I figured I'd initiated contact before, we'd had this whole discussion and now she knows I feel like she hasn't been initiating contact, but nothing has changed.
Then a mutual friend (a good friend of both of ours) told me that Friend A had told her that she doesn't feel like she can't trust me anymore now that I'm married, as she feels I tell my spouse everything. I was hurt, because (A) she didn't tell me that to give me a chance to confront that with her, and (B) all of her other friends who she is hanging out with constantly are all also married!
I was also hurt because I just don't feel like 15 miles should be an insurmountable distance if you really care about somebody. I'm somebody who values friendship a lot, and in particular, I really valued this friendship as we were best friends with an 8 year history of friendship, and I was just sad to lose that. I also felt like she was citing business and depression and telling me she doesn't hang out with anybody else either; yet, she's posting photos on Facebook of herself hanging out with other friends all the time. To me, it was clear at that point that we are just not friends anymore because for whatever reason, she doesn't want to be, maybe she's telling me the truth about why, maybe not, but either way, I just have to accept that and get over it. I was just really tired of always being the one trying. So fast forward to now, and it's been over a year since that last contact with her.
In this past year, to get over the hurt, I employed a similar strategy as you would with an ex-- I went no contact as well. I put her on limited on my Facebook, which has been working great for the past year or so. I don't see her posts in my feed, and even though we have a lot of "mutual friends" on Facebook (80 or so), I don't see when my Facebook friends like her posts, she's basically invisible to me on Facebook without me having to de-friend her. It's honestly been working great for over a year, and I like it that way. When I don't see her posts, I don't really think about her, and I would've considered myself largely over it.
However, I'm also on Instagram, and I can't help but notice that she's recently joined that platform as well, and become quite active on it. I tried blocking her, which works for me not seeing their posts on my feed; however, I always see when she likes a mutual friend's posts, and to be honest, to have her pop up in my feed like that all the time is really, really bothering me and marring my enjoyment of Instagram. Again, we have a lot of mutual friends and it seems like she is constantly liking all of their posts. She's also recently been on a "girls' trip" with another good friend of mine as well as some of her other friends, and seeing their posts and seeing all of our mutual friends like those posts is bothering me as well, because we all used to be in the same friends circle, until she stopped being my friend.
Is there anything I can do that doesn't involve leaving Instagram or limiting my use of it? I really do enjoy being on Instagram other than this, and I feel like the answer is not me getting off Instagram, but rather working through this emotionally to get to a point where seeing her on Instagram won't bother me, because this is just taking up too much mental space. But I just don't know how to get to that stage. Ideas for healthy coping mechanisms sorely needed! Please help, MeFi!
I've been friend-dumped by somebody who I considered to be a best friend (she stood up at my wedding and all). It's been a while now -- basically, she stopped wanting to hang out with me pretty much after my wedding, and that's been over 3 years now. Of course I didn't put it together until maybe a year later.
Long story short, over the course of the next year, I came to realize that even though we had been very, very close friends for about 8 years, she just didn't want to hang out with me anymore. She didn't initiate any contact with me -- I was always the one calling her, and texting her. She rejected invitations to hang out/spend time, always saying she was busy but never really giving any alternatives either. And she didn't express any interest in hanging out at all, or coming over to see my new place or anything. Again, it took me a really long time to realize she was fading me out, but looking back, it definitely started right after the wedding. Once I realized she was fading me out, I thought "Well, let's see what happens if I stop calling and texting her." What happened is that we didn't talk for the next 9 months! So, I was really hurt and feeling like she'd ended this friendship and I did not understand why, and I wanted closure. So I did send her a message to ask her what was up. I told her that I'd noticed we'd become distant from each other (literally no contact for 9 months!) and is everything okay, have I or my husband done something to make you upset as looking back, it's really been not much contact from her since my wedding.
She said let's have a sit-down to discuss this. We did. She cited business again. She also said she thought I was busy now that I'm married, because I'd mentioned that a couple times. I said yeah, I have been busy but I'm also making time for friends. Honestly, this was surprising to me, as none of my other friends from the same friends group/circle (or any of my friends groups, really) had said this. We all live busy lives, but we plan for time together, even if it means sometimes we plan to have dinner a month from now.
She also said she'd let "distance come between us" -- which is true, we used to live maybe 6 miles away from each other and would hang out all the time. That changed to about 15 miles after I got married and moved away. I did mention that her work is maybe only 3 miles away from my house, and I'd offered to meet her close to her office for a quick coffee after work or for lunch. She said she doesn't have time for lunch during the workday and just likes to go straight home after work on a weekday. She also said she'd been "going through something" after a break-up, basically giving me the impression that she meant depression. She also said that she didn't have any energy to see any of her friends. At the time (and even now), I was seeing on social media that she was hanging out with other friends almost every weekend. But in any case, I took what she said at face value, and I told her I can make time to hang out whenever she wants. So after this sit-down, I was thinking we've resolved the issue, and we can start hanging out again. However, I did not hear from her again after that, at all. No contact, total silence. I didn't try again since, because I figured I'd initiated contact before, we'd had this whole discussion and now she knows I feel like she hasn't been initiating contact, but nothing has changed.
Then a mutual friend (a good friend of both of ours) told me that Friend A had told her that she doesn't feel like she can't trust me anymore now that I'm married, as she feels I tell my spouse everything. I was hurt, because (A) she didn't tell me that to give me a chance to confront that with her, and (B) all of her other friends who she is hanging out with constantly are all also married!
I was also hurt because I just don't feel like 15 miles should be an insurmountable distance if you really care about somebody. I'm somebody who values friendship a lot, and in particular, I really valued this friendship as we were best friends with an 8 year history of friendship, and I was just sad to lose that. I also felt like she was citing business and depression and telling me she doesn't hang out with anybody else either; yet, she's posting photos on Facebook of herself hanging out with other friends all the time. To me, it was clear at that point that we are just not friends anymore because for whatever reason, she doesn't want to be, maybe she's telling me the truth about why, maybe not, but either way, I just have to accept that and get over it. I was just really tired of always being the one trying. So fast forward to now, and it's been over a year since that last contact with her.
In this past year, to get over the hurt, I employed a similar strategy as you would with an ex-- I went no contact as well. I put her on limited on my Facebook, which has been working great for the past year or so. I don't see her posts in my feed, and even though we have a lot of "mutual friends" on Facebook (80 or so), I don't see when my Facebook friends like her posts, she's basically invisible to me on Facebook without me having to de-friend her. It's honestly been working great for over a year, and I like it that way. When I don't see her posts, I don't really think about her, and I would've considered myself largely over it.
However, I'm also on Instagram, and I can't help but notice that she's recently joined that platform as well, and become quite active on it. I tried blocking her, which works for me not seeing their posts on my feed; however, I always see when she likes a mutual friend's posts, and to be honest, to have her pop up in my feed like that all the time is really, really bothering me and marring my enjoyment of Instagram. Again, we have a lot of mutual friends and it seems like she is constantly liking all of their posts. She's also recently been on a "girls' trip" with another good friend of mine as well as some of her other friends, and seeing their posts and seeing all of our mutual friends like those posts is bothering me as well, because we all used to be in the same friends circle, until she stopped being my friend.
Is there anything I can do that doesn't involve leaving Instagram or limiting my use of it? I really do enjoy being on Instagram other than this, and I feel like the answer is not me getting off Instagram, but rather working through this emotionally to get to a point where seeing her on Instagram won't bother me, because this is just taking up too much mental space. But I just don't know how to get to that stage. Ideas for healthy coping mechanisms sorely needed! Please help, MeFi!
Best answer: Ugh this sounds unpleasant, and I'm really sorry. This kind of thing can really just eat away at you. Hard to forget about her when you now see her name every time you use insta. I don't think there's any way currently that you can block comments on someone else's photos, unfortunately. Not via any extension or app that I am aware of. Even if you're not following someone or you have them blocked/muted, you can still see their comments on other users' photos.
Something I've noticed - the names of users who heart photos disappears from the main feed after about an hour or so, and is replaced by just a number of hearters. You have to tap on the heart to see the list of users. So if yours looks like that too (can someone confirm this?), if you could just quickly scroll past the top few photos to the ones not so fresh, you may not see any hearter names in the main feed. I'm not sure if that would lessen your enjoyment of using insta though, so that may not be an option for you.
Then a mutual friend... told me that Friend A had told her that she doesn't feel like she can't trust me anymore now that I'm married, as she feels I tell my spouse everything.
Not sure if you already know this, but it appears this is why she ghosted. She thinks you shared something with your husband that you shouldn't have and she doesn't want to bring it up, since she no longer trusts you and doesn't care to renew the friendship. The fact that all of her other friends are also married doesn't matter....you are the one who she thinks somehow betrayed her.
posted by the webmistress at 2:28 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
Something I've noticed - the names of users who heart photos disappears from the main feed after about an hour or so, and is replaced by just a number of hearters. You have to tap on the heart to see the list of users. So if yours looks like that too (can someone confirm this?), if you could just quickly scroll past the top few photos to the ones not so fresh, you may not see any hearter names in the main feed. I'm not sure if that would lessen your enjoyment of using insta though, so that may not be an option for you.
Then a mutual friend... told me that Friend A had told her that she doesn't feel like she can't trust me anymore now that I'm married, as she feels I tell my spouse everything.
Not sure if you already know this, but it appears this is why she ghosted. She thinks you shared something with your husband that you shouldn't have and she doesn't want to bring it up, since she no longer trusts you and doesn't care to renew the friendship. The fact that all of her other friends are also married doesn't matter....you are the one who she thinks somehow betrayed her.
posted by the webmistress at 2:28 PM on October 12, 2016 [5 favorites]
Best answer: I also felt like she was citing business and depression and telling me she doesn't hang out with anybody else either; yet, she's posting photos on Facebook of herself hanging out with other friends all the time.
Just a suggestion, maybe it could help to understand that this is not necessarily a contradiction in the way you see it - this sounds to me like what you had was a closer more intense friendship than the ones she’s having with all these people, and maybe she was having more trouble continuing that close deeper friendship than hanging around with a bunch of new people. People post fun social moments on Facebook, it doesn’t mean those are all super important close friendships. It does sound like she did care enough about you to meet you specifically to talk about your friendship, which is not something people normally do with anyone they hang around with especially in a group and for fun.
You should try not to resent her for her new social life. It does sound like she was honest enough when you talked to her. Sometimes two friends go through their own separate big life changes at the same time, and their trajectories may simply no longer intersect after that point. If she was going through a breakup and depression, she might have had trouble relating to you in your new life. Or maybe she just needed a new start with new less close friends.
As for anything you learnt from others that she did not mention - that mutual friend of yours who told you that she doesn’t trust you anymore etc. - well, she was not acting as a very good friend there, if she betrayed your Friend A’s trust, and a personal confession like that may not be 100% accurate when retold that way. Mutual friend was not being a good friend to you either, because she told you something that she knew would be hurtful to you. Something that, if true, your (former) friend A may have rightly chosen to spare you.
What if it’s a feeling she cannot help? What if she simply does not like your husband? How could she have told you this and not hurt you? There are few close friendships where you can say that kind of thing and still be friends. There are even fewer close friendships where you can keep that kind of thing to yourself, and still be friends...
I know this is unpleasant, but I hope you can get past this stage of feeling hurt and try and be more understanding and forgiving, because that seems to be a bigger problem than seeing her user name in comments on instagram. (And like others already said, no, there is nothing you can technically do about that).
posted by bitteschoen at 4:54 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
Just a suggestion, maybe it could help to understand that this is not necessarily a contradiction in the way you see it - this sounds to me like what you had was a closer more intense friendship than the ones she’s having with all these people, and maybe she was having more trouble continuing that close deeper friendship than hanging around with a bunch of new people. People post fun social moments on Facebook, it doesn’t mean those are all super important close friendships. It does sound like she did care enough about you to meet you specifically to talk about your friendship, which is not something people normally do with anyone they hang around with especially in a group and for fun.
You should try not to resent her for her new social life. It does sound like she was honest enough when you talked to her. Sometimes two friends go through their own separate big life changes at the same time, and their trajectories may simply no longer intersect after that point. If she was going through a breakup and depression, she might have had trouble relating to you in your new life. Or maybe she just needed a new start with new less close friends.
As for anything you learnt from others that she did not mention - that mutual friend of yours who told you that she doesn’t trust you anymore etc. - well, she was not acting as a very good friend there, if she betrayed your Friend A’s trust, and a personal confession like that may not be 100% accurate when retold that way. Mutual friend was not being a good friend to you either, because she told you something that she knew would be hurtful to you. Something that, if true, your (former) friend A may have rightly chosen to spare you.
What if it’s a feeling she cannot help? What if she simply does not like your husband? How could she have told you this and not hurt you? There are few close friendships where you can say that kind of thing and still be friends. There are even fewer close friendships where you can keep that kind of thing to yourself, and still be friends...
I know this is unpleasant, but I hope you can get past this stage of feeling hurt and try and be more understanding and forgiving, because that seems to be a bigger problem than seeing her user name in comments on instagram. (And like others already said, no, there is nothing you can technically do about that).
posted by bitteschoen at 4:54 PM on October 12, 2016 [8 favorites]
Something I've noticed - the names of users who heart photos disappears from the main feed after about an hour or so, and is replaced by just a number of hearters. You have to tap on the heart to see the list of users. So if yours looks like that too (can someone confirm this?), if you could just quickly scroll past the top few photos to the ones not so fresh, you may not see any hearter names in the main feed. I'm not sure if that would lessen your enjoyment of using insta though, so that may not be an option for you.
Two problems with this. 1) it's based on quantity, not time (the limit is 10 or 12), and the feed is now algorithm based, not time based.
OP, just unfollow the mutual friends. You don't indicate how close you are with that social circle, but it may be time to drift out of the group. If they're incredibly crucial to your life, feel free to create a second instagram account just to follow them, so you can only risk being reminded of your former friend when you actively choose to risk seeing her name/comments.
posted by itesser at 5:14 PM on October 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
Two problems with this. 1) it's based on quantity, not time (the limit is 10 or 12), and the feed is now algorithm based, not time based.
OP, just unfollow the mutual friends. You don't indicate how close you are with that social circle, but it may be time to drift out of the group. If they're incredibly crucial to your life, feel free to create a second instagram account just to follow them, so you can only risk being reminded of your former friend when you actively choose to risk seeing her name/comments.
posted by itesser at 5:14 PM on October 12, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm sorry. It's really hard when this happens and social media just makes it worse. Sometimes people just grow apart in a friendship, but it sounds like something went south with her, and not both of you. It's possible that her relationship problems were brewing before your wedding, and now that you're married, she's distanced you because you have something she wants (marriage? relationship? family? kids?)
Honestly it sounds like jealousy to me. I tell my husband almost everything and I expect friends of mine to tell their SOs everything as well. You're married. That's how it works. I know this wasn't the focus of your question, but weddings have a way of changing things in ways you don't expect. Perhaps you got married, and she just disappeared because she couldn't deal with it.
Do these new friends go out and party? I'm definitely older than you but I know in my age group, 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20. Perhaps it's a lifestyle difference and has less to do with your friendship than the fact that she just wants to go out and blow off steam, when you want to stay home (as an example). I'm not sure I buy the story that you did something to betray her. I think you would know that. The fact that you're bewildered and hurt (and you approached her!) says that whatever is going on, it's her deal.
Either way, she's not communicating clearly with you and that, to me, either says she does not value the friendship . . . or she simply needs more time to deal with whatever is up with her. 8 years is a long time to just toss away a friendship.
I'd unfollow the mutual friends and block her on Instagram, if that's possible. I think you're right on to not be pestered with this on social media.
Good luck.
posted by onecircleaday at 5:37 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
Honestly it sounds like jealousy to me. I tell my husband almost everything and I expect friends of mine to tell their SOs everything as well. You're married. That's how it works. I know this wasn't the focus of your question, but weddings have a way of changing things in ways you don't expect. Perhaps you got married, and she just disappeared because she couldn't deal with it.
Do these new friends go out and party? I'm definitely older than you but I know in my age group, 40 is the new 30 and 30 is the new 20. Perhaps it's a lifestyle difference and has less to do with your friendship than the fact that she just wants to go out and blow off steam, when you want to stay home (as an example). I'm not sure I buy the story that you did something to betray her. I think you would know that. The fact that you're bewildered and hurt (and you approached her!) says that whatever is going on, it's her deal.
Either way, she's not communicating clearly with you and that, to me, either says she does not value the friendship . . . or she simply needs more time to deal with whatever is up with her. 8 years is a long time to just toss away a friendship.
I'd unfollow the mutual friends and block her on Instagram, if that's possible. I think you're right on to not be pestered with this on social media.
Good luck.
posted by onecircleaday at 5:37 PM on October 12, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm not married, but I have known newly married women to lose (envious) single friends after weddings. I think it's hard for people to watch a best friend get married as they remain single. Maybe her behavior is a reflection of her own life challenges and not anything you said or did.
posted by Guinevere at 7:06 PM on October 12, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by Guinevere at 7:06 PM on October 12, 2016 [11 favorites]
Best answer: Honestly it sounds like jealousy to me. I tell my husband almost everything and I expect friends of mine to tell their SOs everything as well. You're married. That's how it works.
Not for everyone, it doesn’t! There are married women who are perfectly happy to keep the personal and confidential revelations of their women friends to themselves (and less amazingly, there are husbands who may not be interested in knowing all the most intimate details about their wives’ friends anyway!).
I know everyone has their own different experiences and I’m sure there are all kinds of examples of both attitudes. Maybe it really is all about jealousy, who knows? we only have a snapshot of the fading of a close friendship that lasted eight years. Maybe choosing to frame this in terms of a single woman being jealous of a married woman is not too fair or helpful to the asker, and there are also a few mysogynistic clichés associated with that interpretation, so maybe it’s worth being a bit more careful in using it. Especially when there is no need to frame this situation in the worst possible way and there is a simpler more benevolent reading, just like you said yourself - sometimes people just grow apart in a friendship. In the end, even when there are other more specific reasons, that’s what it boils down to. Just like in love and relationships. When there is a choice between a malicious and a benevolent interpretation of why people grow apart, the latter is preferable and more helpful to the person feeling hurt, because it allows her to let go of resentment.
It’s worth trying to be more generous to exes and former friends, it helps us move forward.
posted by bitteschoen at 11:35 PM on October 12, 2016 [10 favorites]
Not for everyone, it doesn’t! There are married women who are perfectly happy to keep the personal and confidential revelations of their women friends to themselves (and less amazingly, there are husbands who may not be interested in knowing all the most intimate details about their wives’ friends anyway!).
I know everyone has their own different experiences and I’m sure there are all kinds of examples of both attitudes. Maybe it really is all about jealousy, who knows? we only have a snapshot of the fading of a close friendship that lasted eight years. Maybe choosing to frame this in terms of a single woman being jealous of a married woman is not too fair or helpful to the asker, and there are also a few mysogynistic clichés associated with that interpretation, so maybe it’s worth being a bit more careful in using it. Especially when there is no need to frame this situation in the worst possible way and there is a simpler more benevolent reading, just like you said yourself - sometimes people just grow apart in a friendship. In the end, even when there are other more specific reasons, that’s what it boils down to. Just like in love and relationships. When there is a choice between a malicious and a benevolent interpretation of why people grow apart, the latter is preferable and more helpful to the person feeling hurt, because it allows her to let go of resentment.
It’s worth trying to be more generous to exes and former friends, it helps us move forward.
posted by bitteschoen at 11:35 PM on October 12, 2016 [10 favorites]
Best answer: This sucks. I am sorry that your friend is fading on you.
Regarding strategies for dealing with this problem, I suggest you consider therapy. I know someone who went through a friend "breakup" who eventually sought therapy and it was extremely helpful. It's a loss and sometimes we all need help dealing with loss.
posted by tuesdayschild at 9:06 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
Regarding strategies for dealing with this problem, I suggest you consider therapy. I know someone who went through a friend "breakup" who eventually sought therapy and it was extremely helpful. It's a loss and sometimes we all need help dealing with loss.
posted by tuesdayschild at 9:06 AM on October 13, 2016 [1 favorite]
I just want to say that this is really about her more than you, and that (like every romantic relationship) every friendship is different. Her depression may be affecting her relationship with you in a way it doesn't affect her relationship with her other friends. Sometimes when you're very very close with someone and you're going through personal changes, break-ups, depression, whatever, it's harder to maintain normality and pretend to be ok with one best friend who knows you really well, versus a group of people who don't. Sometimes a group dynamic of many friends who typically hang out together is easier to handle than one-on-one time with a best friend. I wonder whether there's timing involved with when she met the guy she went through the break-up with and when you met your now-husband? Whether it makes her feel like she failed at something you succeeded at, that her life is stagnant and she is afraid you (mature married one) look at her and think "wow, she can't get a guy and she's not going anywhere"? Her depression could be telling her a lot of things about you and her that you just can't see, honestly, and that aren't present with other people.
posted by sallybrown at 5:05 PM on October 15, 2016
posted by sallybrown at 5:05 PM on October 15, 2016
Response by poster: Thanks, all. Lots of good answers, and I really appreciate it. Simply hearing "sorry, that sucks" from so many people helped me a lot, along with the acknowledgment that yes, the end of a friendship can be really painful.
Hearing or thinking "oh, she's just jealous" can make you feel good in a petty way but I don't think it's true, it's not reflective of the friendship we had and it's also not the person I want to be. To be honest, I think, yeah, for whatever reason, she does not like my husband, and it is what it is.
posted by spicytunaroll at 12:01 PM on February 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
Hearing or thinking "oh, she's just jealous" can make you feel good in a petty way but I don't think it's true, it's not reflective of the friendship we had and it's also not the person I want to be. To be honest, I think, yeah, for whatever reason, she does not like my husband, and it is what it is.
posted by spicytunaroll at 12:01 PM on February 23, 2017 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
(You're a better person than me; I outright FB-unfriended her, not able to take the even tenuous connexion there. Though come to think of it, why not unfriend this person?)
Anyway, would a technological solution work? Like a browser extension that changes words? Word Replacer II isn't something I've tried but it's the right idea. You'd have to do a little thinking to come up with a replacement word that wouldn't instantly translate to her name and thus be upsetting. Maybe a generic name? Maybe the name of a friend also on Instagram whose posts you don't really care about, so you never know if it's her or the actual owner of the name?
posted by kmennie at 1:51 PM on October 12, 2016 [1 favorite]