Attending a Concert: Beanplating Edition
September 20, 2016 9:42 PM   Subscribe

Months and months ago, I bought a front row balcony seat (an excellent seat for this show) to see a favorite musician of mine as a birthday present for myself. The show is this weekend, and yesterday a friend of mine contacted me to ask whether I wanted to go. I told my friend I was already going, and he said if I was going solo I could sell my ticket and sit with him. His seats are not as good as mine. Is it rude to decline?

What a plate of beans!

He's also invited me to catch up over drinks beforehand, which I would very much like to do. So: is it super weird/rude to say yes to drinks but no to his offer I sell my ticket and sit with him at the concert? If not, suggestions on wording my partial refusal would be much appreciated.
posted by sevensnowflakes to Human Relations (8 answers total)
"Thanks for the offer! I'm pretty excited about the front-row seat so I'm planning to keep my ticket, but I'd really love to catch up over a drink beforehand."

If I were your friend, I would be 0% offended by this.
posted by samthemander at 9:45 PM on September 20, 2016 [98 favorites]

^this. Really a great way to handle it.
posted by ApathyGirl at 9:48 PM on September 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

Exactly what samthemander said.

He last minute invites you to go to an event you've planned, been looking forward to, and scored a great seat to attend on your birthday. It's completely understandable that you'd want to enjoy your seat! If anything, it seems somewhat presumptuous of him to even make the suggestion. Why would he even think you'd go through the headache and hassle of selling and re-buying a ticket at the last minute just to sit with him in a worse seat? That's kinda, I don't know... egotistical, imho. Is he boundary-pushing in other ways too? If he is, this is a perfect opportunity to nip that shit in the bud.

Happy birthday! And have a great time!
posted by LuckySeven~ at 10:00 PM on September 20, 2016 [5 favorites]

You're not going to be interacting during the show anyway, so just letting him know that you're not interested in changing seats but would like to catch up with him before and after the show should be fine. I would not specify that your seats are better than his.
posted by Candleman at 10:05 PM on September 20, 2016

doubt you'll break his heart by not sitting with him, like the guys above said, you can grabs a drink beforehand or after or whatever- but I'd accept his offer. Gigs are so much better with a friend close by
posted by speakeasy at 10:14 PM on September 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

It is perfectly ordinary for friends to go to a symphony/opera concert and not sit together. Before, after and during intermission you drink with your friend at the bar and discuss the relative merits of each others' seats and whether this is the year to finally buy a season ticket.
posted by b1tr0t at 10:53 PM on September 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

I don't think it's rude at all to keep your ticket. If he had better seats than you, then his plan would make more sense. I think it's also fine to meet him for drinks beforehand and then go your separate ways.
posted by colfax at 1:02 AM on September 21, 2016

Is he offering to sell you or give you his seat? Just curious because if the former, kind of a dick move to push the burden of selling an unused ticket onto you.

I bring this up not because I want you to hate your friend, but because I once accepted a similar offer and two weeks later found out my friend was expecting to be paid.

People need to be clear about that shit up front.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:46 AM on September 21, 2016

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