Is it normal to feel this way?
September 9, 2016 12:35 AM   Subscribe

Missing my old job and colleague. Can't seem to fit in at my new job.

around 7 years ago I started working for a company as a fulltime file manager. I loved my job , had a good time with my colleagues and I earned pretty well.

2 years ago I got called to the CEO's office. Seems that our division (Division A) where I worked needed restructering so the board deceided to fire 2 people and I had to start working at another division (Division B), starting from the week after. However, I was allowed to still work one day in the week for division A, to maintain my projects there. To me, this came as a major blow. They also told me that, once things were going to be better again, I would be able to go back to division A on a more regular basis.

So the week after, I started working at division B. They didn't even except me, so when I showed up they asked what I was doing there. It seems as if no-one was prepared i was going to show up that day. Since then, I've been having a hard time. I don't like to do the kind of work at division B, and I really miss my former colleagues, especially one of them to whom I really connected very well. We worked very well togehter, had good talks and sometimes a lot of fun. Now I don't see her that much anymore (only sometimes during lunchtime at noon or during that 1 day I still work at division A).

I thougt the feeling was going to go away, but even after those two years I still feel as bad about what happened and I cannot seem to get over it. I miss my former job and people around me, and cannot seem to fit in with the new job.

Is it normal to feel this way? Being transferred is not that uncommon at workplaces but I cannot seem to handle it.

I've been thinking to quit my job. Also already started to apply for other jobs because I think it is the only way out. That way I can leave everything behind and start all over again. However by doing so I have to give up my old job, and everything around it. I can't keep waiting for the day the board decides I can get back to division A, can I?

Also: I have a small mental disability called NLD. It causes me to work a little bit slower than others, People at my workspace know this but have no problem with it. I'm worried of how I will fit in at a new company, not knowing how they will respond to my mental disability.

How do I handle this situation? To me it feels as if whatever choice I make, I lose...
posted by Omnicron to Work & Money (7 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Have you asked to go back to your old division? Have they hired anyone in Division A? Because I think your first step is to go to every manager / coworker in your old team and let them know you would very much like to come back.
posted by 26.2 at 1:09 AM on September 9, 2016

@ 26.2 : Oh yes I have. I have been nagging their heads off. My co-workers, the managers... There is no way they cannot know. They haven't hired anyone else yet and they do tell me that as soon as there is some room, they will hire me back. But I'm getting tired of waiting. A lot of co-workers at division B already told me they would be long, long gone if they were in my shoes.
posted by Omnicron at 1:23 AM on September 9, 2016

If I were you, I would start applying and interviewing, but do it initially with an eye towards seeing what's available in the market for you. It sounds as though what you need to decide is whether you think you can get the Division A feeling in another company.

I don't know your company, but I have to wonder if they ever really intend to bring you back to Division A. It sounds to me as though they like and value you, but I would think that if they haven't found another opportunity in two years then it is difficult to imagine what could change.

When you think about being at Division B going forward, how does it make you feel? Can you make that work for you?
posted by frumiousb at 2:08 AM on September 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

Since they aren't hiring anyone else, I think you should probably wait it out. If you were getting passed over, then I'd say go. That's not the case. There are no openings. There's no guarantee that another company would be a better fit. In the meantime, make the most of your days at Division A. At some point, someone is going to leave Division A, and they will need a backfill.

I know it's a drag to wait, but lots of people end up stalled at some point in their career. Sometimes you need to wait for your spot to open up.
posted by 26.2 at 2:11 AM on September 9, 2016

Looking for new work is smart. If you don't find anything that fits right away, that's okay because you already have a job. You've been waiting for 2 years already and you're not happy. There are many potential soul mates in the world and many potential good jobs. Start looking. It will give you a greater sense of control. And see if the coworker you like has time to got to a movie or do something else with you after work. That might help make things more bearable as well. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 9:09 AM on September 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


Working at division B makes me feel bad. There is no evolution in the kind of work I do at the moment and I feel I'm losing valuable time. I could be doing another job, which is far more interesting in comparison to what I'm doing now...
posted by Omnicron at 12:11 AM on September 12, 2016

I have NLD too. I think what you're feeling is normal for a person with NLD. It can be hard for people with that LD to adjust to new circumstances and change and I know for myself that it takes me a very long time to get over things, partly because I have an excellent long-term memory so I can ruminate on things quite a bit.

I don't have any advice though. I see a therapist for anxiety, I don't know if that would help you but I figured I'd just throw that out there.
posted by eternalstranger at 12:24 PM on September 13, 2016

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