Managing the finances after the death of a spouse
September 6, 2016 12:22 PM Subscribe
I'm looking for software/app recommendations to help me manage my finances after my wife's death.
My wife of 10 years died on September 1st after a short battle with liver disease. Up until the last few days of her life we had expected a slow but eventual recovery, so there wasn’t much discussion of how I would take over things financially after she passed. We also didn’t have a will, because we had been holding off on that until we bought property together (in retrospect, not the best decision). I live in the US state of Georgia, county of Rockdale, if that matters.
There are no children, and I have online access to all our joint accounts. I’m working with someone at the bank to make sure my name is in all the correct places, and will work with a lawyer when the time comes to make sure that the house and her car are in my name. I will receive a small life insurance policy and will eventually have access to her retirement accounts, which total in the low six figures.
What I’m trying to figure out is how to manage my finances from here on out. My wife was an accountant, and could tell me things like “…it’s Tuesday, so we owe $12,059 on the house…” She kept our home finances, as best as I understand it, as a “company” in the version of Quickbooks she used for work. There were also some spreadsheets that she kept for things like car payment amortization schedules and so forth. I think there is a way for me to get a backup of the Quickbooks data for our personal accounts.
What I want to be able to do is to sit down and be able to tell at a glance things like:
My wife of 10 years died on September 1st after a short battle with liver disease. Up until the last few days of her life we had expected a slow but eventual recovery, so there wasn’t much discussion of how I would take over things financially after she passed. We also didn’t have a will, because we had been holding off on that until we bought property together (in retrospect, not the best decision). I live in the US state of Georgia, county of Rockdale, if that matters.
There are no children, and I have online access to all our joint accounts. I’m working with someone at the bank to make sure my name is in all the correct places, and will work with a lawyer when the time comes to make sure that the house and her car are in my name. I will receive a small life insurance policy and will eventually have access to her retirement accounts, which total in the low six figures.
What I’m trying to figure out is how to manage my finances from here on out. My wife was an accountant, and could tell me things like “…it’s Tuesday, so we owe $12,059 on the house…” She kept our home finances, as best as I understand it, as a “company” in the version of Quickbooks she used for work. There were also some spreadsheets that she kept for things like car payment amortization schedules and so forth. I think there is a way for me to get a backup of the Quickbooks data for our personal accounts.
What I want to be able to do is to sit down and be able to tell at a glance things like:
- The current balance on the house is $XXXX and it will be paid off on Y date
- On credit card #1 the outstanding balance is $XXX
- In the savings account I have $XX, with Y% interest, and I’m depositing $XX in it every pay period
- The checking account balance is $XXX, and my total expenses this month will be $ZZZ, so I need to watch any spur of the moment purchases on Amazon
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Respectfully and regretfully, I'm afraid that no one piece of software will tick all those boxes. It's likely that you will need to do some calculations on your end, rather than finding pre-made software that is able to generate those reports. This is because the data inputs are so broadly varying (every single bank and service provider seem to use different data formats) that it would be very difficult to build a one-size-fits-all reporting tool. To my knowledge, the best solution is to find a tool that works "good enough" and then generate any specialty reports on your own using Excel/etc.
Personally, I use YNAB (www.ynab.com) to track most, but not all, of my budget/expense/income needs. YNAB is largely marketing as a tool for people who need to get out of debt, but I use it to focus on building savings (no debt here - WOO!!), which sounds more akin to your situation. It's sold on a subscription basis right now.
Either way, given the chaos you're swimming through right now, it seems like it might make sense to stay as much as possible within the existing budgeting tool - Quickbooks - likely in combination with Google Calendar (for bill reminders).
posted by samthemander at 12:44 PM on September 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
Respectfully and regretfully, I'm afraid that no one piece of software will tick all those boxes. It's likely that you will need to do some calculations on your end, rather than finding pre-made software that is able to generate those reports. This is because the data inputs are so broadly varying (every single bank and service provider seem to use different data formats) that it would be very difficult to build a one-size-fits-all reporting tool. To my knowledge, the best solution is to find a tool that works "good enough" and then generate any specialty reports on your own using Excel/etc.
Personally, I use YNAB (www.ynab.com) to track most, but not all, of my budget/expense/income needs. YNAB is largely marketing as a tool for people who need to get out of debt, but I use it to focus on building savings (no debt here - WOO!!), which sounds more akin to your situation. It's sold on a subscription basis right now.
Either way, given the chaos you're swimming through right now, it seems like it might make sense to stay as much as possible within the existing budgeting tool - Quickbooks - likely in combination with Google Calendar (for bill reminders).
posted by samthemander at 12:44 PM on September 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
I think YNAB is the most popular budgeting and accounting software around here, and for good reason. It's well-designed and easy to use, and the company offers good tutorials and free online classes. Sadly they switched to a subscription model several months ago, which is one strike against it, and as far as I know the new subscription version lacks some report-generating features that the old purchase-model version (which I still use) had. Even so, I'd still give it a serious look.
So sorry for your loss.
posted by jon1270 at 12:44 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
So sorry for your loss.
posted by jon1270 at 12:44 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
The best Mac app like this I've found is Banktivity, which is flawed but gets the job done.
Something to keep in mind: you might not be able to keep records as well as she did, and that's okay. I used to try to track every penny until I realized it wasn't that important.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:45 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Something to keep in mind: you might not be able to keep records as well as she did, and that's okay. I used to try to track every penny until I realized it wasn't that important.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:45 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I would ask for a backup of your QB company (get the version number as well, you'll probably need to know it at some point) and take it to a CPA (who will have Quickbooks and should be able to load it). Talk to the CPA about what they find there and what they advise and you can decide if, at least for this year and next year because your taxes are going to be all over the place, they can just be your accountant for a while.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you're probably completely poleaxed right now and just trying to figure out what to do - about anything, something - but I think it might be best to not turn this into a huge project for yourself right now. You have plenty of time to figure this out slowly, and to be trained by your CPA to take on this stuff yourself later.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:58 PM on September 6, 2016 [15 favorites]
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you're probably completely poleaxed right now and just trying to figure out what to do - about anything, something - but I think it might be best to not turn this into a huge project for yourself right now. You have plenty of time to figure this out slowly, and to be trained by your CPA to take on this stuff yourself later.
posted by Lyn Never at 12:58 PM on September 6, 2016 [15 favorites]
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I came to chime in about YNAB. I've been a user of the "new" (subscription) version for a couple of months now, and developers just updated it with the capability to generate reports. It's a toolbar extension that you install into Chrome. Whether or not these are printable, I don't know; I've never tried it.
If you don't want a subscription but you like the layout of YNAB, the classic version (YNAB 4) is available here and is available without a subscription, but a one-time fee of $70-ish. I've also found the forums to be quite helpful.
Echoing Lyn Never - YNAB takes a lot of time and energy to figure out at first. It's kind of a project, and if others have simpler solutions to your question, I'd turn to them first.
posted by onecircleaday at 1:39 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I came to chime in about YNAB. I've been a user of the "new" (subscription) version for a couple of months now, and developers just updated it with the capability to generate reports. It's a toolbar extension that you install into Chrome. Whether or not these are printable, I don't know; I've never tried it.
If you don't want a subscription but you like the layout of YNAB, the classic version (YNAB 4) is available here and is available without a subscription, but a one-time fee of $70-ish. I've also found the forums to be quite helpful.
Echoing Lyn Never - YNAB takes a lot of time and energy to figure out at first. It's kind of a project, and if others have simpler solutions to your question, I'd turn to them first.
posted by onecircleaday at 1:39 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
please let someone else help you with this right now. ask a few friends for a cpa if you don't have one. the cpa will also know a bookkeeper and between the two of them they help you keep track of all of these details.
posted by lescour at 1:58 PM on September 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by lescour at 1:58 PM on September 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
I use an Excel sheet I created to do most of that stuff (no fancy amortization schedules though). Tracks pay dates, when bills are due, when I'm going to pay them. It's a fairly manual process but it helps me keep on top of everything.
posted by Apoch at 2:14 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Apoch at 2:14 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Very sorry for your loss. We use Mint, it will get you most of the way there.
posted by fixedgear at 2:59 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by fixedgear at 2:59 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I wanted to come back in and say I agree that you should let someone else handle this for right now. The most pressing item is the mortgage, but literally every other bill can go late for a month or two with only minor consequences.
So,
1) Figure out the mortgage, and when that's due. Write that check.
2) Ask a friend or coworker "Thank you for your support right now. You asked earlier if there was anything you could do, and I thought of something. I need your help to email a few CPAs or bookkeepers and check them out for me. Basically I want to pay them to open up the household Quickbooks file, and for them to track & pay my bills (on my behalf) for the next 3-6mos while I sort everything out. The issue isn't a lack of money, but that I need to take over household finances management, as I wasn't managing due dates/etc before. Can you help me find a local CPA/bookkeeper who is responsive to email?"
3) Hire a bookkeeper and revisit this in 2017.
posted by samthemander at 2:59 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
So,
1) Figure out the mortgage, and when that's due. Write that check.
2) Ask a friend or coworker "Thank you for your support right now. You asked earlier if there was anything you could do, and I thought of something. I need your help to email a few CPAs or bookkeepers and check them out for me. Basically I want to pay them to open up the household Quickbooks file, and for them to track & pay my bills (on my behalf) for the next 3-6mos while I sort everything out. The issue isn't a lack of money, but that I need to take over household finances management, as I wasn't managing due dates/etc before. Can you help me find a local CPA/bookkeeper who is responsive to email?"
3) Hire a bookkeeper and revisit this in 2017.
posted by samthemander at 2:59 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
My husband died unexpectedly in April, so I understand to some extent what you're going through. Our household finances were split so that I managed part and he managed part, but I didn't have much visibility into what he was managing. I had to do some sleuthing to figure out what he was paying and how.
I would be very hesitant to ask people I don't know very very well to assist with this, and engaging a bookkeeper seems like overkill for simple household finances. It sounds like your wife treated your finances as a bit of a hobby - putting in more work than typical or strictly necessary because it was interesting or enjoyable to her. You do not need to track everything in a central app or maintain amortization schedules on your vehicles, unless doing that is something you enjoy. Give yourself permission to be less precise and find an approach that works for you.
Your first three bullets are exactly what your monthly mortgage, bank, and credit card statements will tell you. Maybe not the payoff date on the mortgage, but you could estimate that in a spreadsheet. This is a category of questions/items that doesn't require close management - check in on these things monthly to make sure you're on track and make any needed adjustments based on changes in income or priorities, but don't sweat it day-to-day.
The fourth bullet is about managing cash flow, and this does require a bit more attention. I use a spreadsheet with my repeating bills listed on it, marking off how much they were each month and that they were paid. This lets me know how much "disposable" income I have, so I can calibrate my spending accordingly. I check on this weekly, comparing to my checking account information online, to make sure I'm not inadvertently overspending. I would be nice to use an app that would download your checking account information and allow you to put in your bills so you see a balance that reflects all your outstanding obligations. Quicken does this, but honestly I just like my spreadsheets, so I use that and compare it to my online bank information.
posted by jeoc at 3:16 PM on September 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
I would be very hesitant to ask people I don't know very very well to assist with this, and engaging a bookkeeper seems like overkill for simple household finances. It sounds like your wife treated your finances as a bit of a hobby - putting in more work than typical or strictly necessary because it was interesting or enjoyable to her. You do not need to track everything in a central app or maintain amortization schedules on your vehicles, unless doing that is something you enjoy. Give yourself permission to be less precise and find an approach that works for you.
Your first three bullets are exactly what your monthly mortgage, bank, and credit card statements will tell you. Maybe not the payoff date on the mortgage, but you could estimate that in a spreadsheet. This is a category of questions/items that doesn't require close management - check in on these things monthly to make sure you're on track and make any needed adjustments based on changes in income or priorities, but don't sweat it day-to-day.
The fourth bullet is about managing cash flow, and this does require a bit more attention. I use a spreadsheet with my repeating bills listed on it, marking off how much they were each month and that they were paid. This lets me know how much "disposable" income I have, so I can calibrate my spending accordingly. I check on this weekly, comparing to my checking account information online, to make sure I'm not inadvertently overspending. I would be nice to use an app that would download your checking account information and allow you to put in your bills so you see a balance that reflects all your outstanding obligations. Quicken does this, but honestly I just like my spreadsheets, so I use that and compare it to my online bank information.
posted by jeoc at 3:16 PM on September 6, 2016 [5 favorites]
What software, or combinations of software and apps, will give me that kind of overview and also allow me to generate reports?
When I was more on top of my finances, Mint was pretty good at this sort of thing (not perfect, there were some flaws that made me rage on the regular). Personal Capital sounds like it could be in the right vein of things as well.
For the bare minimum stuff (income/expenses month-to-month) you can track that easily enough with a spreadsheet. It might actually be best to start with a spreadsheet so you can figure what is actually important to you to track.
But, I agree with everyone else that maybe you're asking the wrong question right now. You should get help.
My wife was an accountant
She probably had accountant friends. Colleagues in the same practice/company maybe? School friends?
Make a list, ordered by "closeness."
Pick your wife's closest accountant friend and ask them for help. Just enough to get you set up and on your own feet, I'd think getting your financial life in order enough to get you through filing your 2016 taxes should be plenty. Maybe they can't help because [reasons], but they will probably have a recommendation for you. If not, ask the next friend.
You should also consider consulting with an Estates and Trusts attorney just to make sure that you own what you think you own (you probably do, if you were married, but intestacy laws (laws covering people who die without leaving a will) vary state-by-state and you might run into some trip-ups).
I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by sparklemotion at 3:21 PM on September 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
When I was more on top of my finances, Mint was pretty good at this sort of thing (not perfect, there were some flaws that made me rage on the regular). Personal Capital sounds like it could be in the right vein of things as well.
For the bare minimum stuff (income/expenses month-to-month) you can track that easily enough with a spreadsheet. It might actually be best to start with a spreadsheet so you can figure what is actually important to you to track.
But, I agree with everyone else that maybe you're asking the wrong question right now. You should get help.
My wife was an accountant
She probably had accountant friends. Colleagues in the same practice/company maybe? School friends?
Make a list, ordered by "closeness."
Pick your wife's closest accountant friend and ask them for help. Just enough to get you set up and on your own feet, I'd think getting your financial life in order enough to get you through filing your 2016 taxes should be plenty. Maybe they can't help because [reasons], but they will probably have a recommendation for you. If not, ask the next friend.
You should also consider consulting with an Estates and Trusts attorney just to make sure that you own what you think you own (you probably do, if you were married, but intestacy laws (laws covering people who die without leaving a will) vary state-by-state and you might run into some trip-ups).
I'm so sorry for your loss.
posted by sparklemotion at 3:21 PM on September 6, 2016 [4 favorites]
I am sorry, this sucks.
you might not be able to keep records as well as she did, and that's okay. I used to try to track every penny until I realized it wasn't that important.
This was me too. I became the sudden person-in-charge of my father's estate when he died a few years ago. A lot of this stuff can be done decently without being this meticulous. You can do that if it pleases you but it's not necessary. I concur with what a lot of people said specifically
- let everything go except the mortgage and maybe the gas bill (we got our gas bill shut off and it was a bit of a pain to get it back but not terrible) and just write checks for those, pay other bills as they come in. Check your wife's email and bank/credit card statements for other things she may have on auto-pay
- you are the spouse so it will not be too bad to get your name on everything
- if you have access to her Quickbooks just use that. Maybe hire a short-term bookkeeper to help with the transition (literally someone who can come in a few hours a week and keep things going and eventually shift you so that you can run it). Have that person run reports for the time being, you have other stuff to worry about
- use Mint to keep track of all the accounts on a week to week basis so you know if you're getting dinged by stuff like fees or overdraft
- take care of yourself and realize that for the most part the money stuff will sort itself out for someone in your income bracket
posted by jessamyn at 3:54 PM on September 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
you might not be able to keep records as well as she did, and that's okay. I used to try to track every penny until I realized it wasn't that important.
This was me too. I became the sudden person-in-charge of my father's estate when he died a few years ago. A lot of this stuff can be done decently without being this meticulous. You can do that if it pleases you but it's not necessary. I concur with what a lot of people said specifically
- let everything go except the mortgage and maybe the gas bill (we got our gas bill shut off and it was a bit of a pain to get it back but not terrible) and just write checks for those, pay other bills as they come in. Check your wife's email and bank/credit card statements for other things she may have on auto-pay
- you are the spouse so it will not be too bad to get your name on everything
- if you have access to her Quickbooks just use that. Maybe hire a short-term bookkeeper to help with the transition (literally someone who can come in a few hours a week and keep things going and eventually shift you so that you can run it). Have that person run reports for the time being, you have other stuff to worry about
- use Mint to keep track of all the accounts on a week to week basis so you know if you're getting dinged by stuff like fees or overdraft
- take care of yourself and realize that for the most part the money stuff will sort itself out for someone in your income bracket
posted by jessamyn at 3:54 PM on September 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm sorry to hear of your wife's passing.
I do (or could do) most of what you're describing with Quicken, which is obviously a partner product for Quickbooks. I have the 2016 version for the Mac. If you know the account numbers and passwords for your bank accounts, it's pretty straightforward to set up the basics. With a little tech support or coaching I think you could set it up to be as responsive as you need, for all the things you're looking for.
posted by Sublimity at 4:32 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I do (or could do) most of what you're describing with Quicken, which is obviously a partner product for Quickbooks. I have the 2016 version for the Mac. If you know the account numbers and passwords for your bank accounts, it's pretty straightforward to set up the basics. With a little tech support or coaching I think you could set it up to be as responsive as you need, for all the things you're looking for.
posted by Sublimity at 4:32 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm a bit of a finance nerd and use YNAB and Mint. YNAB is a bit of a pain to set up and may be more than you need. I'd use Mint for now and then evaluate if you want more in a few months.
posted by notjustthefish at 10:22 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by notjustthefish at 10:22 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you everyone for the suggestions, and also thank you to the people who offered condolences both here and privately. That meant a lot to me.
No one can find a Quickbooks file with our financial data, but when her boss brought my wife's personal effects from the office yesterday he also brought a two drawer file cabinet and a banker's box full of bank statements and paid bills going back several years. So it appears I'm starting with a clean slate, and will need to see what kind of data I can get from the bank to load into whatever software I choose. Quicken for Mac gets horrible reviews, Banktivity looks interesting, and both Mint and YNAB might be contenders. As several people have mentioned, I don't have to make a decision right away, so I'm going to do more research and maybe test drive a few applications. I'm also talking to her boss about putting me in contact with the CPAs that his company works with to see if they can offer me some suggestions.
posted by ralan at 7:29 AM on September 8, 2016 [4 favorites]
No one can find a Quickbooks file with our financial data, but when her boss brought my wife's personal effects from the office yesterday he also brought a two drawer file cabinet and a banker's box full of bank statements and paid bills going back several years. So it appears I'm starting with a clean slate, and will need to see what kind of data I can get from the bank to load into whatever software I choose. Quicken for Mac gets horrible reviews, Banktivity looks interesting, and both Mint and YNAB might be contenders. As several people have mentioned, I don't have to make a decision right away, so I'm going to do more research and maybe test drive a few applications. I'm also talking to her boss about putting me in contact with the CPAs that his company works with to see if they can offer me some suggestions.
posted by ralan at 7:29 AM on September 8, 2016 [4 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by heathrowga at 12:31 PM on September 6, 2016 [1 favorite]