Fellatio waiting period after adult tonsillectomy?
August 31, 2016 5:01 PM   Subscribe

I'm having my tonsils removed next week and am wondering how long I should wait before giving fellatio will be safe/comfortable again?

I'm worried that the suction and possible prodding involved in fellatio might necessitate a longer waiting period to fully heal than is required for just eating and drinking.

My mother-in-law will likely be at my pre- and post-operative appointments so I won't have a non-awkward opportunity to ask my doctor or nurse. Meanwhile, I can't seem to find any good information via Google. (Other people have asked this question on Yahoo Answers, but... Yahoo Answers.)

I'd prefer answers based on actual personal experience and/or medical expertise with this specific situation. I don't think speculation based on the healing period for other oral activities would be helpful -- one reason I am having surgery is that fellatio currently dislodges nasty things into my throat, whereas this doesn't happen during non-fellatio sucking activities (e.g., straws, popsicles, etc.). So the suction pressure and duration of other activities are not sufficiently analogous.

Please advise, thanks!
posted by Jacqueline to Health & Fitness (10 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Response by poster: Oh and feel free to MeMail (a few already have) if you don't want to post about your personal experience in public.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:18 PM on August 31, 2016

If you can't ask with your mother-in-law present, call the office and ask. Perhaps a day or two after the surgery; you may have other questions for the doctor at that point depending on how your recovery is going.
posted by kitty teeth at 5:36 PM on August 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

"MiL, please wait out here, thanks."
posted by zippy at 5:48 PM on August 31, 2016 [11 favorites]

IANAD....so my advice is: I would ask your surgeon. Tonsillectomies in adults (and kids, but its less common) have a (small) chance of a significant bleed, especially if the healing site is disrupted before it is well healed (and prodding and suction are definitely forces that could disrupt a healing site). And by significant, I mean, Mount Vesuvius like quantities of blood. Potentially life threatening bleeding. l am not a doctor, but I would suggest this an activity, for exactly the reasons you gave, you should be very well healed to consider engaging in. Find a way to ask your doctor.

One idea to get around the MIL issue is, before hand, write a discreet note, to pass to the surgeon. Maybe written on your 'list of questions' for the doctor. Or, call and ask their nurse to pass on the question. If your surgeon is discreet, once they have read your 'question list', they can answer with 'You're cleared for ALL activities at X weeks....' or email you an answer.

Good luck, and enjoy your ice cream!
posted by Northbysomewhatcrazy at 5:59 PM on August 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

Absolutely ask your surgeon. We cannot
posted by bilabial at 6:51 PM on August 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you want me to call pretending to be you, memail me (descliamer: I never impersonate others on the phone).
posted by Kalmya at 7:16 PM on August 31, 2016 [2 favorites]

First of all, you absolutely have a right to talk to your doctor in private. Just because your MIL is accompanying you to your pre- and post-op appointments that doesn't mean she needs to be in the room for those exams. Actually, that seems quite unusual to me. If there is some reason she absolutely needs to be in the exam room with you and you can't ask for a moment of privacy, most doctors have an email system in place for questions, and I suggest asking your question that way.

IANAD, but I had an adult tonsillectomy and, though I feel the tales of severe pain were greatly exaggerated, the discomfort lasted quite awhile, and I still could feel sections of scar tissue for several months after the operation, which didn't hurt but felt weird. I wasn't in a relationship at the time, so I can't speak specifically to fellatio, but I was mostly on a liquid/smooth texture diet that was rather bland for a month. The first week was all about Italian ice (not ice cream, Italian ice, which is incredibly soothing), and then I gradually introduced soft foods like mashed potatoes and pasta. Mostly, even with your doctor's advice, you'll just have to go by how you feel, but I wouldn't rush it. In the moment, waiting may feel like a long time, but between the pain med, the healing, and your body bouncing back from surgery, which can be surprisingly draining, you probably won't mind waiting. Also, for the first 12 hours or so, I was talking and felt fine (yay anesthesia!), but please take your pain med, be gentle to your throat, and rest, because, as soon as that surgical stuff wears off, the pain starts and your voice goes.

Lastly, getting the tonsillectomy was one of the best decisions I ever made. I went from over a year of constant sore throats, swollen lymph nodes, and coughing up those gross things to having a few dry throats over the past six years. If you have any questions, please feel free to MeMail me. Good luck!
posted by katemcd at 10:20 PM on August 31, 2016

Frankly it seems super weird to me that you won't have any time to talk to your doctor without your MIL around. My mom took me to my adult tonsillectomy but I had one-on-one discussions with a nurse when arriving at the hospital and my doctor right before surgery. I had a post-op appointment 3 weeks after surgery which was just a quick checkup at the doctor's office, I can't imagine why you'd need someone in the room with you then, if you have a similar appointment that would be a good time to ask.
posted by noxperpetua at 10:48 PM on August 31, 2016 [1 favorite]

just ask your doctor!
btw, I was 34 when I had mine out. Kids recover quickly, but adults have a hard time. It was a couple of weeks before I was over it, and longer still before I felt like being naughty with my bf. And if they give you pain meds, just make sure it's not liquid Tylenol with codeine. A couple hours after surgery that's what I got and you could here me scream in the next city
posted by james33 at 5:03 AM on September 1, 2016

Response by poster: "Actually, that seems quite unusual to me."
"Frankly it seems super weird to me that you won't have any time to talk to your doctor without your MIL around."

My MIL will be tagging along to all my surgery-related appointments because she's a nurse and will likely be helping significantly with my post-surgery care. My doctor specifically said "bring a second person" to all my appointments and my husband can't make it due to covering for an injured employee.

Based on my gallbladder surgery experience last year, she just... doesn't leave the room for exams or questions or anything. And since she's got that ER nurse commanding presence, no one seems to think to ask to her to leave either. Her lack of boundaries about medical stuff has taken some getting used to, but I don't mind having her there 99% of the time -- it's nice to have a professional along to help advocate for you -- and this 1% is more concern for her sensibilities than my own (I doubt she wants details about what her son and I get up to).
posted by Jacqueline at 8:39 AM on September 1, 2016 [2 favorites]

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