Not heard from my boyfriend in almost 4 weeks
August 11, 2016 4:19 AM   Subscribe

Hi any help and advice on what I should would be really appreciated. My boyfriend is an aidworker working for a charity and has been posted in Africa for 9 months. He was sent out to a special project about a month ago and I have not heard from him since. What do I do...?

I used to hear from him regularly, not always every day as things had got crazy but it was fine. Recently we just went on a two week holiday together which was perfect and both had a lovely time, talked about the future etc.

I returned to the UK and he went back to his base, a week after returning from holiday he told me he was being moved to another project for a month (out in the sticks - even more than he already is!). He told me he would be in touch when he knew about internet and that he loved me.

I haven't heard from since. At first I thought this was an internet thing so didn't panic too much, thinking he would be in touch when he could. But he has not been on facebook or whatsapp, doesn't have phone access and I've heard nothing.

But then a friend (!) I know works for the same charity and she said that it would be unusual for him to not have email at all as the project would grind to a halt. So this got me really worried! I have emailed him a few times, with the last one saying please get in touch and let me know you are ok. I have had nothing.

I know it wont be anything too serious as it would be on the news etc, but now I dont know what to do. The girl I know who works for the same charity, says she has not heard of any security issue but knows that he was posted out there to cover a gap and that project is really busy and has had problems. She thinks he is being a d**k and just not speaking to me.

I think this is really out of character and I feel this girl is stirring a bit, but I am worried and not sure what to do now and its coming up to 4 weeks. If it is just that he is crazy busy, surely that is not a good enough excuse not to respond to an email with just a one liner? And if that is the case then i guess its the end of our relationship...

I've spoken to his friend and he's not heard anything either, but I don't know if he's tried email contact.

He was only meant to be out there for about month, so I have decided to wait another week and then see. But in the meantime this is all driving me out of my mind and my friend keeps telling me he is just being an arse.. (shes never met him by the way).

what do I do?
posted by artystar to Human Relations (37 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Do you know anyone else who knows him? Family, other friends, anyone else you could ask?
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:24 AM on August 11, 2016

I don't think it would be unreasonable to contact the charity directly and say that you know this guy and had expected to hear from him and are getting worried. It's not the same as if your boyfriend worked at the local grocery store and you called them up to ask about him - you have reason to be concerned and the charity is in a position to answer your questions. (And if it turns out to be nothing and he just hasn't been in touch when he could have, and he gets mad at you for asking the charity, well - that's on HIM, not you!)
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:27 AM on August 11, 2016 [19 favorites]

Response by poster: I've asked his old housemate and has not heard anything either, but Im not sure if he emailed.

There is another friend I could also try, I just dont want to sound hysterical

I am really cautious about trying his family as he has an elderly dad and I don't want to panic him. Plus I know he wasn't contacting them much to begin with!
posted by artystar at 4:28 AM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

Being concerned after almost 4 weeks of no contact when your last encounter was totally normal isn't 'hysterical' - don't let anybody tell you it is.

I mean - the most likely scenario is that it's very very difficult to access email where he is, and he has been so slammed with work that he hasn't had time to contact you. But it's also possible that he's being a dick, and it's also possible that something bad has happened, and you have the right to seek out that information.
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:32 AM on August 11, 2016 [49 favorites]

You are perfectly entitled to follow up, I'd be concerned too. If it turns out he is ghosting you then that's a pretty jerky move when he's off somewhere remote and it's reasonable you'd worry.
posted by kitten magic at 4:42 AM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

If he's dropped off all communications altogether, then I think that you need to be concerned, unless he was going to an area where he was not going to have internet access. I would try to touch base with a project lead and see if you can figure out if there are any communication issues in the area. Failing that, I'd start raising alarm bells and making a pest of myself until I got an answer.
posted by backwards compatible at 4:42 AM on August 11, 2016 [3 favorites]

Yes, I think that being posted at a remote station filling a gap in a project that is crazy busy *is* a good enough reason to not have time to contact people back home.

That being said, there's no reason not to try to follow up with the charity or other friends as you have been or to be concerned.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 4:46 AM on August 11, 2016 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: Yeah I get that but i sent him an email saying ' I am really worried, please just send me a one liner saying you are 'busy but ok.' and I got nothing...

If it was something very serious then I think I would have heard. My friend is suggesting she would have also heard and is not aware of any security threat
posted by artystar at 4:50 AM on August 11, 2016

I mean, I don't think he's ghosting you and it's probably legit busyness plus less than good internet, but I don't think you should feel like a sucker following it up. It would be especially jerky to ghost someone when there's a greater than usual chance that silence means theyd worry.
posted by kitten magic at 4:52 AM on August 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

Leave it alone and stop listening to the shit stirrer. There's no reason to suspect he's not talking to you. No matter what this other "friend" says, given everything you've described, lack of internet connectivity is the most likely explanation for his lack of contact.

If the project really can't progress without email its possible they do have some limited facilities that are restricted to essential use only.

If the project is having problems, even the fact that he's been gone for more than a month isn't necessarily cause for alarm. A badly run or specced out project could easily run 2 or more times the expected length. Now, it would be shitty of the charity to expect him to work on this project for so long without any means of communicating with his loved ones but I wouldn't rule that out either.

I would say, if you've not heard from him after 6 weeks, get in touch with the charity just to make sure he's ok. If they wont cooperate, (which they might not - you're not married or anything, so you have no "right" to the information) you'll have to contact his family.
posted by missmagenta at 4:55 AM on August 11, 2016 [13 favorites]

Yes, you've sent him some emails and asked him to get in touch and followed up with friends, but I can tell you, having spent time in Afghanistan in undoubtedly a much more built-up location than it sounds like your bf is at, doing probably much less work, that depending on what was going on, sometimes my first priorities were sleep, then food, then showering, and somewhere below that, contacting people back home. Consider that he hasn't received your email because maybe he has to go out of his way to get to an email access point, and he is exhausted and knows that talking to folks back home will frankly be even more exhausting, especially the longer it's been since he's had a chance to communicate.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 4:58 AM on August 11, 2016 [9 favorites]

That friend, if they really were one, would check themselves. That friend is an arsehole. And possibly knows something. That friend could ask the org a direct question. Buuuut, they're too busy stirring shit up. Gotta wonder why.
posted by taff at 5:03 AM on August 11, 2016 [23 favorites]

Response by poster: I should add that he is in quite a high position in the organisation, and he is managing the project he has been sent to. Basically thats the gap he is filling.

I feel I may be behaving selfishly. Its so hard when I dont know what he is going through though
posted by artystar at 5:29 AM on August 11, 2016

While I've never been incommunicado for quite so long myself, I can think of many times in my work in development I've been more or less unreachable except to people in my organization. Maybe his work site only has sat phone, or only one connection for the office computer on which they do not allow login to personal accounts. Maybe the only fiber optic cable serving the entire country has been cut. Maybe he's sending text messages every day but the cell network he's on never actually delivers them but also never tells him they're undelivered. All situations I have been in, and that's working for the government, so with generally way more resources than any charity. Working without email for extended periods is not that weird, it's not like charities and aid programs did not exist before computers were invented. I think your friend may only have ever worked at the charity headquarters?
posted by solotoro at 5:31 AM on August 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

I think you should follow up with his job/friends/family. Worst case scenario- he's sick/been in an accident/something else bad happened. Although it's unlikely, if it's a solo posting and the organization doesn't keep close tabs on staff, there's a chance something could have happened. I'm a former peace corps volunteer and am familiar with such scenarios. And if he's fine but just very busy and without Internet access, all you have to risk is some mild embarrassment.
posted by emd3737 at 5:36 AM on August 11, 2016

Response by poster: I use the term 'friend' losely. No she works out on the field, but hasn't been working there for charity for very long. My bf on the other hand has been there for seven years (hopefully this is his last mission).

We have known each other for a number of years, but have only been going out a short time. This is my first experience of a long distance relationship of this nature (have to say I dont like it much!)

In terms of emails they have been sent to his work email
posted by artystar at 5:39 AM on August 11, 2016

Feel free to do whatever you feel is best to make sure your guy is OK, but I bet your guy is OK. I've worked in rural locations in (central) Africa within the last few years, and it would be incredibly exceptional for a local village to have internet access. At a regional center you might be able to access it at a (slow, shitty, crowded, expensive) internet cafe, but you'd have to go to an actual city to find hotel WiFi or anything remotely resembling what we in the developed world think of as "normal" internet access.

Even cell phone reception was extremely chancy. There were several places I worked where it was just nonexistent, others where it required a two-mile hike into the woods to get up onto the one hill in the area where you could pick up a bar or two of reception.

My family frequently didn't hear from me for weeks at a time, and even that was only possible because I was moving from place to place a fair bit and so would be able to get a quick call out when I was passing through a larger town. If I'd been out in the villages more continuously, it could easily have been months. Sometimes even when I technically had the opportunity I didn't manage to make a call because I was just too exhausted and/or busy to think about anything that wasn't directly in front of me. Extreme fatigue and the difficulty of operating in such an unfamiliar setting can really narrow the scope of your thoughts. If you haven't been through something similar, it's difficult to convey just how much it can alter your thinking and priorities. The good news for you is that once he has a chance to come up for air (mentally speaking) he'll probably very much want to talk to his loved ones.

So don't be too worried. It's probably just a combination of busy-ness and lack of communication links. Feel free to check in, but I expect everything is fine. He's probably not deliberately ignoring you.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:56 AM on August 11, 2016 [35 favorites]

Personally I think a month is a long time not to hear from a boyfriend and I would worry and not feel sorry for being worried. At a month in I'd be sending emails to personal, work, whatsapp messages, text messages, Instagram messages, Facebook messages. I would get in touch with any friends and family to let them know the situation and figure out what to do together.

Best case scenario is that he's fine just busy and he'll just feel a bit sheepish that all these people were concerned about him. There's no legitimate reason for him to get annoyed or whatever. You can use this as an opportunity to asses how much contact you need from a partner and discuss with him if he's able to meet those needs. You have to go pretty far to get into "needy" territory and I don't think you're anywhere near it.
posted by like_neon at 5:56 AM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mod note: OP, Ask MeFi isn't really geared towards the conversational style -- a followup to clarify an important point is fine but please try not to make it a discussion. Thanks!]
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane (staff) at 5:58 AM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

The last time I worked in rural Africa was ten years ago so I'm sure things have changed, but there were definitely plenty of areas with no access to the Internet unless you drive a couple of hours to the nearest big town (and no cell coverage either). There might be access to a satellite phone as part of his project, but if not then the lack of contact wouldn't be a huge surprise. I was in a reasonable sized hospital and their sole computer had broken a year or two before, so there was just no email access. It was a really low priority to fix. We also had power cuts all the time.

Even in my last placement in a major tourist area, the hospital internet was only available for one hour a day and was frequently broken. Only one computer was connected to the internet, so people used to queue up to use it (it was dial-up). It was a limited resource.

So yes I would contact the charity (a major disaster might have made the news, but truck crashes and general illness probably wouldn't). But if he's fine and just hasn't been able to get in touch, I might be a bit annoyed but it definitely isn't break-up territory.
posted by tinkletown at 6:02 AM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

Oh also:

I feel I may be behaving selfishly. Its so hard when I dont know what he is going through though

Try and fight this although you've been conditioned all your life to feel this way. It is not selfish to worry about your partner's well being and want to hear from them. It doesn't matter if they're out saving the world, you matter too and you deserve to be with someone who cherishes your feelings for them.
posted by like_neon at 6:02 AM on August 11, 2016 [10 favorites]

Also, that "friend" sounds like she has no idea what she's talking about. There's fieldwork and fieldwork. Even in the same organization people will be doing different things in different settings. Some parts of the operation may require regular email (the regional HQ in the city, for instance) but others could easily be relying on sporadic cell phone links from whatever town of any size is closest to the site, or with actual couriers in the form of messages passed along the supply chain, whatever it is. Other places may operate in total isolation for weeks at a time. It depends on where in Africa he is (it's a big continent!) and what kind of work he is doing.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:03 AM on August 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

Satphones are expensive. The only time I had access to the one for my team was when I was at a remote field site and wanted to make a surprise phone call to my mom on her birthday. That was strictly a one-off, and was because of the "birthday surprise" factor rather than just because it had been a while since I'd talked to my loved ones. Otherwise it was for emergencies and critical work-related communications only.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:06 AM on August 11, 2016 [2 favorites]

I work regularly in somewhat remote parts of Uganda - internet is everywhere. Unless his job involves seriously remote places (as in, camping on the side of a volcano counting a particular kind of insect) I think it's unlikely that he has absolutely no access to the internet.

I think that if something bad had happened, you would have been informed.

So I think the likely scenario is that he has seen your messages but has chosen not to respond to them. This may be because he is incredibly busy, but I think that even in incredibly busy times it's possible to email your partner and say 'sorry, it's crazy at the moment, I'll be in touch as soon as I can but it'll be at least two weeks' or something. That's not much at all to ask from someone that cares about you.

I'm really sorry, but it looks to me that he is not making you a priority. If that's a deliberate choice of his, it's pretty callous not to let you know about it. If it's just that he can't be bothered, well, that's not so nice either.

This is just based on my experience and what seems likely to me, so I may well be mistaken in terms of his access to the internet (and his ability to predict what that access will be like) but I think it would be reasonable to contact the charity and ask them to get in touch with him, and perhaps start to contemplate what this may mean in terms of his feelings for you. I'm sorry.
posted by twirlypen at 6:12 AM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh and not to threadsit, but satphones aren't some magical cellphone that always has reception, the way they're always portrayed in popular media. They're actually frustratingly unreliable. You have to do a lot of walking around to find a spot where the phone can see the satellite well, and the sats are always moving so you frequently get dropped. The satellite coverage for Iridium (the satphone network) is arranged such that one generally has no coverage redundancy (unlike say GPS, where you're normally in touch with 5-6 satellites at a time) and if a cloud passes between you and your satellite that can cut your call. It's not the kind of system you would normally want to try and have a social conversation on. They're better than nothing for strict information-exchange-only calls, but you can't really get cozy on one the way you can on a normal phone. And as I said above, they're very expensive so you want to minimize their use and keep conversations as concise and quick as possible.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:18 AM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

And OK, final answer before I walk away: Africa is a big continent. Twirlypen's experience in Uganda is very different from my experience in Gabon and Cameroon. Some parts of Africa are much more developed than others, and there's a real continuum. It's almost like it's lots of different countries rather than just one place! (Sorry.) There's also lots of levels of remoteness, even within the same region of the same country. So individual people's experiences (including mine) can't really be generalized to whatever your boyfriend is doing in wherever he is.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:25 AM on August 11, 2016 [21 favorites]

Response by poster: He is currently in the Central African Republic (CAR)
posted by artystar at 6:26 AM on August 11, 2016

Haven't been there, but it's ranked as the second-least-developed country on Earth according to the Human Development Index. (Only Niger is lower.) Mean income is $1.83/day (and the barter system doesn't generally work for phone cards or computer time). Make of that what you will, but it doesn't bode well for internet and cell service. Someone with more specific experience in that country would likely be able to tell you more.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 6:39 AM on August 11, 2016 [6 favorites]

Hi, I work in HR for an NGO that has field offices in CAR.

Everyone is part right - there is infrastructure in the CAR, in the sense that email exists, but that doesn't necessarily mean that there would be Wi-fi or email at the exact spot where he is working. Hell, there are places in the United States where you can't get a cell phone signal.

The "friend" who is talking about how "they would need email or else they couldn't do their jobs" may be referring more to the main headquarters in CAR, and even there, internet may not always be as reliable as one would hope. I'm in HR, and it happens lots of times where I'll need a form from someone, or I'll send someone a form and ask them to fill it out and send it back, only to have them say "I'm actually about to leave for the field in five minutes, and I'll be out there for about ten days and there isn't a scanner out there, can you wait until next week?"

Also, a lot of the people who do this kind of work are really, really dedicated, to the point that you have to remind them "hey, uh, you have something like a month and a half's worth of vacation time, you should use it." He could be doing office work, or he could be helping to actually build a school or dig a well or log and inventory 29 tons of MREs or trying to figure out how to train non-literate people how to recognize the signs of dehydration or whatever. This is pretty all-consuming work.

So I'd say that four weeks without contact is definitely grounds for you to say "dude, can you PLEASE just at least confirm you're not dead," and you are well within your rights to ask for that; but I would add that there is a very real chance that all that has been going on is that he's been caught up in 18-hour work days and only has had a couple chances to check email all this time and is probably thinking "oh, shit, yeah, I should say something, maybe tomorrow when I wake up zzzzzzzzzzzzzz" and then he wakes up and the Internet's down and he has to get to the field and it's too late, he feels bad but there's nothing he can do he's gotta go to the field...

I promise there is a very real chance this is technology/busy-ness rather than callousness or accident. Good luck.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:42 AM on August 11, 2016 [42 favorites]

My guess is that the server that provides your boyfriend with e-mail is piece of junk with a bad connection and which works intermittently when power is available. He has probably gotten two e-mails from you in that time, and therefore has replied twice. All your other emails and both his outgoing e-mails have been eaten by the server; they will probably mostly never re-appear, although one of your messages will appear in his in box approximately twice a month for the remaining lifetime of the server.

According to Wikipedia only 3% of people in the Central African Republic have access to internet. Your boyfriend is currently part of the 97%.

It is always possible that being back in the field will have knocked him out of being in a relationship with you. So many things will be going on and they will be urgent things, that his emotional connection to you will have broken. However if this were the situation he would most likely have sent you a short business like e-mail or two because he is not a dick (or you wouldn't be involved with him) and he would not want to make you worry, and the same urgent stuff that has broken the bond will have also made him too busy to have processed yet the fact that his emotions have lost connection. If his emotional bond to you has snapped it will probably re-connect when he is back in contact with you, because all the things that got you connected in the first place will still be current.

Alternatively the e-mail server that supplies your boyfriend is not a piece of junk, it is a very good computer. However the generator that supplies the power for the e-mail server is a piece of junk and your boyfriend is going to bed at dusk because he doesn't have lights either. This means he is lying awake thinking about you, a lot.

My scenarios are all pure conjecture, but in my opinion are more likely than other suggestions that think it possible that he has been swallowed alive by a man-eating baobab tree.

Also possible, your boyfriend keeps trying to get back to the office with the e-mail connection but first he has to get to the office with the medical supplies to set up an arrangement to pay their wages, since it broke down when their banking person quit, and after that he has to go meet with the guy who can supply them with new tires, so hopefully he will be back to the office with internet on Thursday, as long as nothing comes up, which it assuredly will.

Contact the local office and ask if they know where he is exactly now because you want to send him a care package. If you can speak to someone who actually knows you will learn a lot, probably that their supplies are all stuck in Berberati until they find the guy they paid to ship them further. That way you won't sound like the over anxious clingy person.

Your anxiety is reasonable. It has been a month. That is a long time to go without a love note. But the explanation is probably a logistic snafu.

Let us know when you hear from him.
posted by Jane the Brown at 7:00 AM on August 11, 2016 [14 favorites]

A colleague/friend says it's unlikely that he doesn't have email at all; but it's also very likely that he is super busy and has had casual email access only once or twice. I see EmpressCallipygos's scenario as very very likely.

Now, in regard to your shit-stirring friend - is he being a dick by not making time to contact you? It seems very likely to me that at some point int he past month he has had internet access and 5 minutes to spare and chose to spend that time doing something other than emailing you, but that may or may not make him a jerk.

I highly recommend that you write down (journal, letter to yourself) how worried (and perhaps angry) you are, but hold off on making any judgements about him until you've talked with him. Are you angry that he didn't prioritize getting you a quick one-sentance note? yes. Does that fact that he didn't do that make him a dick? You have no idea. It totally depends on why he didn't (choice vs "busy" vs technologically unable), and whether he was receiving and ignoring your worried messages, and a lot of other factors. So don't let anybody lead you into blaming it all on him or deciding that he doesn't love you or that he's a total jerk even to people he loves; there's no good that can come of putting a judgement on him based on incomplete information.

BUT, you don't want to be in a situation that he comes back, apologizes sweetly, gosh there was no internet at all anywhere it was totally impossible, you say it's not his fault and everything's fine - because that sets him up to do it again. Keep your journal, and if the day comes when you've forgiven everything, go back and read it over. Then sit down with him and talk honestly about how upset you were, and how that's not an okay situation to repeat, and what practical steps you need to decide on so that it doesn't happen again. If you don't hear from him after N days, it's okay to contact (dad? boss?). If it's been M days, it's his responsibility to (give your email address to somebody headed into the city and tell them to send you a check-in email, or some other solution he can suggest that involves him going to some effort). Once you've been out of contact for (a month), you should [some action the two of you agree on].
posted by aimedwander at 7:03 AM on August 11, 2016 [8 favorites]

I've worked in very rural West Africa with intermittent (at best) internet via 2G cell phone service. The tower that covered the closest town was blown over during the rainy season and was not replaced for nearly two months. My family was apoplectic! I was doing just fine, but had literally no way to contact them. It would not surprise me if maintaining cell phone coverage is low on the priority list in CAR.

When I finally got access to internet again, I had several thousand e-mails to sift through. It took a while, especially because service was still spotty, and I missed some important e-mails. And, some e-mails I thought sent did not.

I would suggest cutting him some slack. I can only imagine how hectic and stressful working at an NGO in Central African Republic is right now. He said he'd be in touch when he had internet, and given that he hasn't been on Whatsapp, facebook, or e-mailed you, I would be willing to bet that he just ... doesn't have internet.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:51 AM on August 11, 2016 [15 favorites]

I think you're still in the parameters of what he told you when he left. He hasn't been on social media, so it's less likely he is online and just ignoring you. He said he wouldn't have internet for a month (or, he wouldn't know about it) and it's been about a month. After five weeks I think you could start to think about the options other people shared, but I wouldn't get super worried until 6 or even 8 weeks (especially if there was a chance this would stretch out).

When you're back in touch you will have more info about how he is in relationships. Maybe you don't want to be with someone who is gone so long without communicating. Maybe you're fine with it but need to know exactly how long it could be, and when to worry. Maybe he is going to break up with you--but you can't know until you talk with him.
posted by ramenopres at 7:58 AM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

First, I think it's completely reasonable for you to be worried and I think you can contact the charity to see if you can get an update. Second, give much greater weight to the answers from people who have lived in Africa. That said, I can address this part:

We have known each other for a number of years, but have only been going out a short time.

I don't think you are a real priority in his life, and I would steel yourself for an eventual "yeah, I'm fine" email with no other explanation after someone informs him that you are wondering about him. From his perspective, this is fair; you're not in a committed long term relationship, and it sounds like he has a lot going on in addition to logistical issues.

It's going to be okay, though.
posted by AFABulous at 8:00 AM on August 11, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised there haven't been more suggestions to ask his employer. Maybe y'all know something I don't. I would think an NGO sending people to such an undeveloped area would be very sensitive to this sort of problem.

It might be that they would only respond through next of kin, though.
posted by SemiSalt at 9:52 AM on August 11, 2016 [5 favorites]

I suggest assuming good will and intentions on his part until you have reason to believe otherwise. So journal the hell out of your feelings, as suggested above, and try to assume that he hasn't contacted you for reasons, and you will eventually discover those reasons, and that will be the appropriate time to decide if this new love did his imperfect human best but is or is not a good match because of X, Y, or Z.

An absence of contact is meaningless without the context of his lived experience. Which you don't have yet. So sit tight as best you can and continue practicing self-love and self-care because that's always a good idea. And eventually you will find out WTF is going on. But until then, it's an ongoing discomfort that you have feels about and need to manage. Which kind of sucks but is totally normal for us humans. I hope you hear from him soon!
posted by Bella Donna at 1:01 PM on August 11, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'm really hoping for an update on this one.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:19 AM on September 9, 2016 [8 favorites]

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