Gluten free, kosher, vegan and halal?
July 4, 2016 8:31 AM   Subscribe

A while ago, a co-worker was joking that his dietary restrictions were that he could only eat foods that were gluten free, kosher, vegan and halal. I'd like to find such a food to bring in. Is there anything that meets all four requirements? If not, what foods would meet as many of these as possible?
posted by Proginoskes to Food & Drink (27 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
A green salad.
posted by cecic at 8:35 AM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think a fruit plate would be gluten-free, kosher, vegan and halal, assuming that anything used to cut the fruit were from a kosher kitchen.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:35 AM on July 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

Something that is vegan would automatically be kosher and halal if I'm not mistaken. So seemingly as long as your food is vegan and gluten free it would meet your criteria. There are entire blogs and websites devoted to vegan/gluten free cooking, so you shouldn't have too much trouble finding something that works.
posted by kitty teeth at 8:38 AM on July 4, 2016 [13 favorites]

If you're trying to be funny about it, an uncut lettuce fits the list and is pretty funny.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 8:38 AM on July 4, 2016 [9 favorites]

Lentils, unless it's Passover. Nuts. Any vegetable that isn't a legume.
posted by alpheus at 8:40 AM on July 4, 2016

Something that is vegan would automatically be kosher and halal if I'm not mistaken.
I don't know nearly as much about the rules of halal, but kosher food has to be prepared in a kosher kitchen. Something vegan would be kosher if it were prepared with utensils, pans, ovens, etc. that had only been used for vegan food, but otherwise, you'd have to go through a process to kosher the kitchen before you could prepare kosher food there.

Also, I think that something could be vegan and not be halal if it had alcohol in it, although presumably you're not going to be bringing a lot of boozy food in to work.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:46 AM on July 4, 2016 [7 favorites]

Something that is vegan would automatically be kosher and halal if I'm not mistaken.

I think it depends on your definition of kosher or halal. I think anything vegan would be sort of eligible to be kosher, but actual kosher certification requires more than "no pork or shelfish and no meat in the same food as dairy." There are rules about how the food was stored and prepared before it became whatever vegan food it is.

I would go to a Jewish or Muslim supermarket and pick out any vegan product that is certified kosher or halal. I think that would be a safe bet.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 8:47 AM on July 4, 2016

I was also going to go with hummus, add some veggies for dipping and you're good to go.
posted by julie_of_the_jungle at 9:02 AM on July 4, 2016

To clarify, yes, there are rules about preparation and storage, but if we're talking about recipe ideas here then OP is going to want to look for vegan/gf foods and go from there (avoiding alcohol as another poster pointed out). A recipe for hummus or salad isn't going to specify what conditions under which the food should be handled; that's up to the preparer.
posted by kitty teeth at 9:08 AM on July 4, 2016

The preparer is not the first person to touch the food. Without kosher or halal certification, you can't be sure how the food was processed or stored before it arrived in your kitchen.

Hummus is listed here as requiring reliable certification, though dried beans aren't (canned beans are). So if you're making your hummus at home from dried lentils after having your kitchen koshered up, I guess it would be kosher. Otherwise, make sure it's certified if you actually care about it's kosherness.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:14 AM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

Just bring them a banana?
posted by blnkfrnk at 9:17 AM on July 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

One thought- how novel do you want to be? I mean, he's a fellow who already eats vegan and halal food. It might be worth checking to see if he wants more (albeit delicious) hummus.
I only say this as a person whose gift of GF cookies to a GF person was met with "Oh, good. More GF baked goods," with bonus eyeroll...
posted by JulesER at 9:20 AM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

Gluten-free vegan kosher marshmallows! Nothing haram in here, so they are also halal. :)
posted by spicytunaroll at 10:08 AM on July 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

assuming that the question is serious about the halal-ness, then in terms of ingredients, definitely, something vegan will definitely be halal (unless if it's alcoholic). in terms of preparation, the most obvious one is tht it was done in a halal-certified kitchen. barring an official certification, as long as the utensils used to prepare it hasn't been used either for pork (or pork products) or non-ritually slaughtered meat or alcohol, then it should still be halal. but if he's actually not fussed about the religious aspect, then anything vegan or vegetarian can be considered halal. (seafood too is halal, but this does depend on certain schools of jurisprudence - a concern if this is genuinely about the religious component of being halal. that said, unless a halal item is listed as vegan/vegetarian, and it's Southeast Asian savoury foodstuff, it might have seafood, if your colleague has related allergies to it.)

so in short, if it's not about the religious aspect of it, then the shorthand for halal for me is, 'as long as there isn't any pork or alcohol'. so just look for any vegan stuff, honestly.
posted by cendawanita at 10:09 AM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I used to make gluten free, vegan, kosher chocolate truffles using kosher certified chocolate chips and coconut cream in place of dairy. The President's Choice semi sweet chocolate chips are no longer kosher certified because they "may contain milk" , but if you found another source of kosher chocolate chips, and used something like concentrated orange juice or the syrup from maraschino cherries instead of a liqueur, I think they would meet your friend's criteria nicely!

The important thing is that the coconut cream - it should be thick enough to spread like warm butter, not pour like milk.
posted by peppermind at 10:16 AM on July 4, 2016

I was staying in a hotel in Slovenia last summer, with a tour bus full of Israeli tourists. Breakfast was provided by the hotel, which was emphatically not kosher, so what the Israelis got was a half a cucumber and a whole green pepper, maybe also a whole tomato, served on paper plates with plastic cutlery. I assume they cut the cucumbers in half with plasticware.
posted by leahwrenn at 10:34 AM on July 4, 2016

You could make a complete light lunch with some hummus, baba ghanouj, cut veggies, pickles and/or olives, and cut fruit for dessert. Serve with tea.

Now I'm hungry.
posted by spinifex23 at 10:50 AM on July 4, 2016 [4 favorites]

According to Google, Ramadan doesn't end til sunset tomorrow (Tuesday, July 5), so by Muslim rules no food is allowable during dayight today or tomorrow.
posted by w0mbat at 11:08 AM on July 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

Falafel. I make mine as follows, using my small blender/chopper.

1. Chop a small onion or a couple of shallots with 1/4 preserved lemon (optional).

2. Add garlic (to taste), 1/4 cup tahini, 1/2 tsp cumin (or more if you like it), 1/2 tsp salt and some parsley or cilantro. Chop some more.

3. Add a drained can of chickpeas, and pulse in the blender until it's not quite a paste. Leave it for 20 minutes to firm. up.

If you don't have a blender, you can do all the chopping by hand, and then mash in the chickpeas with a potato masher.

4. Make it into little patties and fry in a nonstick pan (with a spray of nonstick spray). Cook on a low heat until a crust has formed. Flip and cook the other side.

Lovely with a salad and grilled peppers and zucchini. Or in a wrap, if you're not gluten-free.
posted by essexjan at 11:37 AM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

I agree with falafel, but disagree with preparation method– you want to use raw soaked chickpeas: Link
posted by O9scar at 11:52 AM on July 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

It has to be a joke, right? I'm having a hard time imagining someone so observant in both Judaism and Islam that they are abiding by the dietary restrictions of both.
posted by QuakerMel at 12:11 PM on July 4, 2016 [2 favorites]

That's a great linke O9scar. My falafels are more like mini-patties than the crispy balls in the recipe. But I'm definitely going to try those.
posted by essexjan at 12:36 PM on July 4, 2016

Well, I can't speak to halal, but I do keep gluten free and kosher, and Trader Joe's Scandinavian Swimmers are super awesome. They're parve and I don't see honey on the ingredients, so I'd assume vegan too?
posted by danielle the bee at 3:33 PM on July 4, 2016 [3 favorites]

I second the banana. I'm strictly glutenfree and while the falafels above sound yum, I'd be a bit freaked about cross contamination.
posted by kitten magic at 7:42 PM on July 4, 2016

But of course: Cheesy Bacon Stuffed Mushrooms
12 whole fresh mushrooms
1 Tbsp. vegetable oil
1 Tbsp. minced garlic
8 oz. vegan cream cheese
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
1/4 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. ground cayenne pepper
2 Tbsp. vegan bacon bits

Preheat the oven to 350˚F. Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray.
Clean the mushrooms with a damp paper towel. Carefully break off the stems and chop them extremely fine, discarding the tough ends.
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the garlic and mushroom stems and sauté until soft, about 2 minutes. Remove from the heat and let cool in a small bowl.
When the garlic mixture has cooled, add the "cream cheese," pepper, onion powder, cayenne pepper, and soy bacon bits and stir until blended.
Fill each mushroom cap with a generous amount of stuffing. Arrange the mushroom caps on the prepared cookie sheet and bake for 20 minutes.
posted by notquitemaryann at 8:12 PM on July 4, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is the sort of crack I could imagine making when on a pretty limiting diet - something that might actually go beyond what he's described. For example, if he's had to cut out carbs in general and not just gluten, gluten-free cookies might not be a good option. The plain green salad or uncut fruit are good ideas, or some nuts or something, but for more elaborate plans you might want to bear in mind that unless you know his actual dietary restrictions, he still might not be able to eat them.
posted by Lady Li at 12:00 AM on July 5, 2016

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