The Financial Burden of Friends' Friends
May 4, 2016 9:58 PM   Subscribe

Three months ago, I stupidly put down my credit card to pay for my best friend's bachelorette weekend away in late May. The bride, four other bridesmaids, and me are staying at an expensive AirBnB, and the other women--none of whom I know well--promised they'd pay me back ASAP if I booked the place. Surprise! Everyone's ignored my very polite emails requesting repayment. Do I involve the bride as an enforcer or accept the money's gone because I'm stupid?

So, look, I know I shouldn't have accepted financial responsibility for an entire trip, but the bride and I have been best friends for twenty years, and when her other friends seemed a little scatterbrained, I was worried she wouldn't have the bachelorette weekend she wanted. The price of the trip would seem very small to someone with an average salary but is a significant cost to me. I know now that I should've requested everyone pay me before I booked the trip, but the Maid of Honor was constantly texting me, asking whether I'd nailed down the AirBnB house yet (her own account had been mysteriously suspended. Ugh, I know). I seemed to be the most responsible person involved, and I knew the other women absolutely had the money, so instead of intelligently saying, "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable being the one to book the house," I capitulated.

I've sent out a several email reminders to the other bridesmaids, outlining the amount each person owes, exactly how I arrived at that amount, and which forms of payment I'll accept. I sent a couple of texts to the Maid of Honor. I haven't received even one response over the past three months. All of the texts and the constant group "I'm so excited to go away with you all!" emails have stopped. I'm out several hundred dollars and really, really need the money. I'm worried that once these women get their weekend away and have enjoyed the house, they won't have any reason to pay me back whatsoever. I'll certainly ask them when we're in the house, but I imagine at least a couple, if not all, of them will wave me off and be like, "Oh, can I get you later? I don't have the money on me" or "I can't remember my Venmo password right now," etc. Two of the women are actual celebrity heiresses (ughhhh) so my guess is that money means nothing to them and they can't even understand why I keep asking for it or might even think it's sort of rude that I'm badgering them over a seemingly small amount. I don't want to involve the bride, who doesn't know that no one has paid me back, but I don't know the other women all that well, and she'd be infuriated enough with them that she may convince one or two to pay up. I don't want to threaten to cancel the house to get my money back, but at this point, that's the only way I can see forward that doesn't involve telling the bride her friends are dicks. How should I proceed?
posted by Yoko Ono's Advice Column to Human Relations (38 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Involve the bride, dude. I have no idea why you would avoid it. If I was your friend, and I could help you like she can, I would absolutely want to know.
posted by smoke at 10:06 PM on May 4, 2016 [62 favorites]


Involve the bride for sure. If it were me I'd explain the whole thing and mention that I will have to cancel the reservation if people are not going to pay their share. Just because it's a wedding doesn't mean the brides friends have a free pass to steamroller you.
posted by FireFountain at 10:10 PM on May 4, 2016 [55 favorites]


Invoice them. Use Excel or some other way of making an official looking document. Email them a very official looking businessy type email with the attached invoice as well as including the amount owed and method of payment in the text of the email itself. Say "this must be paid before (date of party) or the party will have to be cancelled." I forget exactly how to do it but I believe you can invoice people directly via PayPal and they can pay you via credit card.

I would also say involve the bride, because the other route apart from srs bsns invoice scary stuff is one on one cornering in person and saying "dude I am not leaving you alone right now until you pay up for this thing" and then accompanying them to the bank or whatever needs to happen for you to get your money. Thing is, this only works if the people are your friends. They aren't, they are the bride's friends. So tell her! This is some seriously rude nonsense from her people and you are not stupid and deserve your money. If my more monied friends screwed over a poorer friend in the course of doing something nice for me I would be furious and glad my friend told me and help them out asap.
posted by Mizu at 10:13 PM on May 4, 2016 [3 favorites]


Do you know snapchat Facebook and GroupMe also have payment methods? There is no excuse these days aside from literally not having the money.
posted by rubster at 10:36 PM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]


Before involving the bride, I would send out one last notice the other people and say, "Pay me back by X date or I'll cancel the reservation." If you don't get the majority of the money by that date, then I think you should seriously consider involving the bride and tell her what's going on. If you wanted to just say "Screw this" and cancel, that would be a totally understandable and reasonable choice as well.

Even though this bride is your best friend, you shouldn't be shelling out money that you don't have to spare just because these other people are flakes and/or freeloaders. Whatever you do, don't keep the reservation unless you get your money. If you end up having to downscale the party or whatever, that's on these other people, not you.

Some of this will depend on how much time you have until the party and when you have to cancel by. If you have two weeks to get your money back then that's very different from having 3 months.
posted by litera scripta manet at 10:38 PM on May 4, 2016 [8 favorites]


Send them all emails saying if you don't have the money within 48 hours you'll have no choice but to cancel the reservation and hand over responsibilities for the weekend to one of the other girls. They're doing this because they're either thoughtless or think they can get away with it. Don't let them. Oh, and then tell the bride what's going on and say as much as you'd like to fund the entire trip, you simply can't afford to and you hope her weekend doesn't become a casualty of her thoughtless friends. They need to pay.
posted by Jubey at 10:43 PM on May 4, 2016 [46 favorites]


If you think what's going on is that they're just being irresponsible and assuming it doesn't matter, then I'd clearly communicate that it does matter and that you need paid right now before getting the bride involved. I'd boost pressure on them and try one last time, then involve the bride.
posted by salvia at 11:36 PM on May 4, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Hi friends! I'm so excited about our trip together! Unfortunately though, the card that I put the Air B&B on requires immediate payment, which I won't have until I get paid on X date. Since you guys would be paying me back for your portion of the trip, I didn't worry about it, but now that my bill is due I am worried that when my card doesn't go through, our reservation will be cancelled. Please get in touch with me ASAP so X's bachelorette weekend isn't a disaster!"

Like seriously, fuck these people, but also at least try to maintain a civil demeanor so that the weekend isn't horrible for you.
posted by thebrokenmuse at 11:49 PM on May 4, 2016 [23 favorites]


It's not clear from your post, have you actually asked 'please pay me back by X date'? They may just be assuming that you'll all split this together with the incidentals at the end of the trip. Which is a bit clueless given the reminder emails, but they may pay up if you explicitly specify that you need the money before the trip.
posted by matildatakesovertheworld at 12:01 AM on May 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


I admire your strength. If it were me I would have cancelled the whole thing at this point. I would go to the bride, yes, but I do like the idea of phrasing it so as to sound out of your control. Some cultures can't stand being direct and will just ignore anything they perceive as direct so you have to play their game. I would also do this in person if possible so the bride doesn't blow you off as well in the barrage of wedding-related emails and texts she's probably swimming in.
posted by bleep at 12:08 AM on May 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


Absolutely involve the bride. If I asked my best friend of 20 years to plan a party for me, and my other friends who didn't know her that well didn't pay their share after several polite requests, I would
- absolutely want to know
- be mortified by what assholes they were being
- contact them directly to tell them I expect more out of the people IN MY OWN WEDDING PARTY
- get you your money
posted by slagheap at 12:16 AM on May 5, 2016 [24 favorites]


Absolutely talk to your friend. I used to think that it was my responsibility to keep every thing to myself. If someone, let's call him Fred, was behaving badly and I was the only one who knew about it, then I used to think it wouldn't be fair for me to talk to anyone else about Fred's behavior, because I might hurt his reputation. Somehow that reputation weighed more than the fact that sometimes I really needed help and advice about how to deal with his behavior. It took me a long time to realize that I was prioritizing Fred's reputation over my own hurt. And it took me even longer to realized that the best way to avoid making people think you're a dick is by not doing dickish things to begin with.

The fact that these women are being dicks to you already exists out there in the world, and their behavior is causing you harm right now. Telling your friend that her friends are being dicks isn't making up mean gossip out of thin air; it's just letting your friend know what the situation is and then the two of you can come up with a plan. I would also be frank with her that if you don't get paid back in x amount of days, you're going to have to cancel the reservation so you can get your money back.

Personally, I wouldn't send out an email to the other bridesmaids explaining that you really need the money so could they please pay you back. Because if some of them are ridiculously rich then that plea won't have the sort of emotional impact on them that you would hope, since they have probably never actually had to worry about not having enough money to make rent. And they have probably never had to worry about budgeting so that they still have enough money so they can eat at the end of the month. Which means that an email like that would probably feel really raw and exposing to you and still wouldn't get you the money.

If you do email them, I would send them something short but polite:

"Dear friends,

I was happy to put the money down initially to secure the AirBnB reservation, and I'm really looking forward to the weekend with you all. Unfortunately, if I don't get paid back by x date, I will have to cancel the reservation. Every bridesmaid's share is $x and you can pay me by PayPal, etc.

sincerely,
Yoko Ono"
posted by colfax at 1:16 AM on May 5, 2016 [15 favorites]


Two things have helped me get paid in the past (although this was people with small businesses, they're still people):

1) Phone calls - warm, friendly, but reminding people that there's a human involved;

2) Communicating a payment deadline.

For the phone calls, the bride might be the best person, since you're still hoping to have a nice weekend with these people.

The payment deadline can be mentioned in the phone calls, but should also be in some other form - maybe a reminder e-mail sent immediately after the phone call.
posted by amtho at 3:45 AM on May 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I would cancel the reservation now.

A bachelorette party including some thoughtless, rich, entitled people? Your credit card is not just on the hook for the AirBnB accommodation, it's on the hook for everything those women might spoil or break while they're staying in that expensive house.

Dump it back in the Maid of Honour's lap. No need to give long explanations: "Oops, there was a problem with that card and I had to cancel, sorry! Here's the contact details again for you to arrange it yourself. Cheers!"

ETA: you can be the flaky one for a change.
posted by Azara at 3:52 AM on May 5, 2016 [38 favorites]


Subject line: May need to cancel whole [destination name] trip

Body: colfax's blurb. Don't add explanations. If you get BUT WHY questions, say "Sorry, I have no other option."

Maybe add some frownies.

CC the bride.
posted by zennie at 4:17 AM on May 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


Get that charge off your card now or you'll never get paid. Cancel the reservation.
posted by LoveHam at 4:20 AM on May 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


You've seen the movie Bridesmaids, right?

First talk to the Bride. "Monique, I have been trying to get the other ladies to pay me for the House, but they've all blown me off. You know how broke I am, I just can't pay for everyone. I've been trying to collect from the others for months and now they've gone radio silent on me. I wouldn't hurt you for the world, and I was hoping they'd step up, but clearly this isn't happening. I wanted to give you a heads up, but I'm cancelling the reservation, I just can't afford it."

If she's been your friend for 20 years, she'll be mortified and agree with you 100% that you MUST cancel this reservation.

Send out this email.

Ladies,

I have cancelled the reservation, Serena, as Maid of Honor, I'll leave it to you to plan accommodation for the Bachelorette weekend.


It might be that they plan a party that you can't afford to attend. Honestly, do you REALLY want to spend time with these folks?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:25 AM on May 5, 2016 [9 favorites]


Cancel it. You will never get your money back unless you do. Do what Ruthless Bunny says and inform the bride, then maybe stay clear of this whole group. It isn't worth it.
posted by mermayd at 4:50 AM on May 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


Yeah, I gotta say, these folks wouldn't inspire me to keep a reservation on my card, whether they put in their fair share of the costs at the beginning or not, based on this behavior. I'd be awfully tempted to just cancel.

I'm leaning toward "tell the bride you have to cancel and see how she wants to go forward." What has really happened here isn't that you're backing out, it's that her other friends have backed out by refusing to pay their share. So you're really just the one breaking the news that her other friends weren't able to go forward with the booking, so this booking has to be canceled, so what does she want to do? I know you want her to have the weekend she wants, but you're not in a position to fund it by yourself, so since her friends won't be responsible about it, she may have to have a different kind of bachelorette weekend, and that isn't on you. It's on them. You're not the one who's let her down here.

I don't think the "warn them with a deadline" option is a bad idea either, but my fear would be that the whole thing is now going to be unpleasant for you even if they grudgingly pull it together, which you don't deserve in exchange for a good deed. Who wants a weekend with jerks?
posted by Linda_Holmes at 5:20 AM on May 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


I would worry less about the money for the reservation and more about the fact that your credit card is on the hook for any damage that might be caused by someone who (a) is thoughtless enough to ignore someone she said she'd pay back, and more importantly, (b) has a suspended AirBNB account. Like, seriously, why was it suspended? That is... worrisome.

I would definitely loop the bride in, explain that you want her to get the party of her dreams but you're just not able to front this kind of cash (leave the potential damages thing off the table), and ask her to run interference and find someone else in the party who can put this on their card. Maybe that person is the bride! It would suck, but it might still be the best choice. As the bride, she's going to have a lot more moral high ground to say "Yeah, maybe we don't do shots on the statue of the purple elephant and throw shoes at the mirror" than you will.
posted by pie ninja at 5:32 AM on May 5, 2016 [10 favorites]


I also like Ruthless Bunny's approach. Contacting the bride first will keep her from being blindsided, and if she's been your best friend for 20 years she should understand where you're coming from. Talk to her live, and do make it a done deal (actually, maybe cancel right before talking to her) - it would be too easy to give in to a request to "just let her talk to them and she'll get you the money," only to end up spending even MORE time spinning your wheels with no guarantee that the bride is going to have any more luck than you did. Meanwhile (in addition to the point above about being on the hook for whatever these people do to the rental place), I would imagine your window for cancelling the reservation and getting a refund must be closing, PLUS having the bride chase down these assholes would be just one more task for her to deal with.

So much better to just give the bride a heads-up, and then send out RB's email to the bridesmaids indicating that you've had to cancel the reservation and that it's on the maid of honor to make plans. Presumably someone chosen as maid of honor also cares about your friend and wants her to have the party she wants - while the maid of honor was obviously happy to let someone else do the work when that was an option, hopefully when you remove that option she'll do what needs to be done.

Sorry you're dealing with such irresponsible jagoffs.
posted by DingoMutt at 5:34 AM on May 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Tell your friend, then email or text or call the others and tell them you're giving them 48 hours to pay you back or you have to cancel the reservation.

And I wouldn't automatically run with the mindset these people are all thoughtless, entitled jerks. People do forget things and maybe you weren't entirely clear about the terms of reimbursement.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 5:46 AM on May 5, 2016


The people saying "just cancel it" - without even TALKING to the bride? The bride the OP is best friends with? The bride who knows all of these people and whom this is a party FOR? Hell no! TALK TO HER!
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:56 AM on May 5, 2016 [27 favorites]


My most charitable view of this is that people may literally not understand that AirBnB dings your credit card as soon as you make the reservation not, like a hotel, when you stay there. So they may think you're trying to get money up front, not being reimbursed. Honestly, I think they're just thoughtless but I'd put on your most charitable feeling, call-not-email the bride asking for suggestions and the prepare to cancel if you don't get some immediate traction. A little hassle involved in planning a wedding thing is expected, a financial outlay because other people can not be arsed is not, I'm certain, what the bride thought she was signing you up for.
posted by jessamyn at 7:41 AM on May 5, 2016 [6 favorites]


Give up on the rent, but during the trip, do not pay for one single cent of anything else. If you go out for food, cheerfully say "Oh, I got the rooms, Cheryl, will you get this to pay me back?" Big ol' smile. Winning personality. Don't take no for an answer.
posted by quincunx at 8:04 AM on May 5, 2016


I have full confidence that they're going to pay you, in some fashion, at some point.

Unfortunately they may have decided to pay you back when they see you, or afterwards. There will be more shared expenses during the weekend, of the type where somebody covers the tab for dinner, somebody else for drinks, somebody else gets the taxi, and then there's a flurry of emails where everything gets sorted out. Worst case scenario is where one of them decides (from place of privilege) to buy an equally expensive thing for the group (eg case of fancy-ass champagne) and cancel your debt to her against her debt to you.

Because it's important that you get reimbursed before you go broke, I would involve the bride, but I wouldn't do it as a "You have to make them pay me!! or else I'll cancel!!" I would just send a group email to everybody, bride included, for a slight bit of group-shame.
"Hey, super-excited - also super-broke tho! If I don't get reimbursed before we go on the trip I will probably be in debtor's prison and unable to make it. Here's the list of people who haven't paid me yet:
Sara
Heather
Jessica
I know it might seem silly, since we'll have more shared expenses later, but I really need to get this bill paid now. SEND ME A CHECK OR PAYPAL PLEASE!"
posted by aimedwander at 8:07 AM on May 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


People who ignore multiple, increasingly anxious emails about the money they owe to a total stranger who did them a huge favour are not people who will pay up later on out of the goodness of their hearts. Explain the situation to the bride, give everyone else a 100% firm no exceptions no explanations no tears deadline of however many days you need, maybe a week? 48h is fine too. And then after that you cancel the reservation with no regrets.

Make sure to include the bride on whatever email you send out to the others, but do have a conversation with her FIRST. Please realize that her saying "oh i'm sure they'll pay you back, don't worry" is not an acceptable reason for you to not send this email to them.

Make sure to have your cutoff for repayment date well ahead of any cancellation limit set by airbnb or the host or whatever. Do not tell them the true cancellation limit date because they will take advantage of that by "forgetting". For example, if the host says "no refunds after May 20th" then you tell them that the host has said "no refunds after May 15th" and see if they honor your request to be paid by May 10th, or whatever. Either way, it's May 5th so do this as soon as possible.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:45 AM on May 5, 2016 [7 favorites]


While I might advocate using the "threat" of cancellation as an incentive to get the others to pay, I really really don't think that you should be considering cancelling your best friend's bachelorette party unless there is absolutely no other way. I also think that, during that weekend, when you're talking to people face to face, you'll be able to sufficiently shame them into paying up then, or soon thereafter. But, I get that you can't afford that risk.

Honestly, I think that you've done enough to try to shield the bride from this drama (which, btw, is honorable of you, but I think that people sometimes go too far with the "try to make everything perfect for her" especially since this event is bringing together her friends, who are not necessarily friends with each other).

So, I think you should talk to the bride and ask for her advice. Tell her that you wish you didn't have to get her involved, but you really can't afford to be out this money. Ask her how she wants to handle it. Maybe she wants to lean on the MOH (who, btw, sucks as a MOH if she's put you in this situation) to get you paid. Maybe she would rather cancel the party if her friends can't afford it. Maybe she would prefer to pay for it out of, say, her flower budget. Obviously, don't suggest these options to her, but let her come up with them on her own.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:47 AM on May 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I can't believe people are saying to cancel this without talking to the bride first. She's presumably also looking forward to this event. Sometimes it's not even possible to make other arrangements in a destination for that many people! Canceling without talking to her is serious bridge burning behavior!

Talk to the bride. She'll understand and wrangle these people who she knows better to pay you now.

I agree with aimedwander that I bet a lot of them planned on paying you after--just like if they'd checked into a hotel; you sign the bill at the end.

If she can't or won't help with her inconsiderate friends, that's whole 'nother ball of wax.

Good luck.
posted by purple_bird at 8:49 AM on May 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Oh -- purple_bird's comment just reminded me of something.

AirBnB is fundamentally different from hotels in that you actually have to pay for the entire rental at the time of booking. This is something that I honestly didn't know until I booked my first AirBnB a month ago (for a stay in October).

The rest of the bridal party might be assuming that this is like a hotel, where you need to give them a credit card number but they don't charge anything until you check-in (actually most hotels will just put a hold on and not even charge you until you check out). If you haven't made it clear to them that you have actually paid this money already, they might honestly think that you don't need anything until the day of at the earliest. And if they are working on that assumption, they might be kind of put off by you asking for money now, weeks and months before you even pay it. For example, I am pretty anal about paying people what I owe them, but I wouldn't pay someone for a hotel stay until the day we checked in and I would suspect shadiness/shenanigans from someone who seemed overeager to collect beforehand.

So -- if you haven't made that clear, it might be good to do so.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:58 AM on May 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I don't see anywhere that you've stated that these women were consulted or had any say about the accommodations or the cost of the trip. Were they?

If I got an email that said "okay ladies, bride has decided that this is what she wants for her bachelorette so I went ahead and booked it and now you each owe me $ xxx" on top of what everyone is likely already spending to be in the actual wedding, I might balk too.

One way or the other I think you need to get the bride involved. I know you don't want to and I agree that it's poor form, but it's either that or shut your mouth, smile sweetly, and eat the cost. A couple of people might pay you at the house, but a couple of others probably won't.

If you cancel the booking that's basically a huge flame out and bride won't forget it, even if she says she understands and forgives you. And you most likely will not get invited to whatever the replacement plans are.

This kind of thing always happens with weddings. You basically have to decide if your friendship with the bride is worth eating these several hundred dollars.

Whatever you do, don't get involved in planning the baby shower.
posted by vignettist at 9:01 AM on May 5, 2016


Dear Bridal Party,

Since so many of your have opted out, seems the event is off. I'll cancel our accomodations.
posted by at at 10:32 AM on May 5, 2016


Yes, everyone was consulted about the cost of the trip before we booked the house, and everyone is already operating with an understanding of AirBnB's upfront payment policy. The bride made sure of this before she began searching for a house since we needed to keep budgets in mind and didn't want to exclude anyone. The bride, like me, is very responsible with other people's money because she's also gone through periods where she had none.

At your above, I sent an email with a deadline attached and also informed the bride who is now very anxious and wants to cancel the whole thing ASAP. I am of course dedicated to making sure that no matter what, she has some sort of bachelorette weekend since I know she very much wants one, but I will certainly set boundaries with regard to money. Thank you, everyone!
posted by Yoko Ono's Advice Column at 10:53 AM on May 5, 2016 [19 favorites]


Good luck, I hope you get your money asap. If they don't pay by the deadline, then after you cancel the reservation maybe you and the bride can do one really extravagant night using your share of the original cost.

But I hope these dinks just pay you what they owe.
posted by DingoMutt at 11:45 AM on May 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also, you mentioned that the bride is now very anxious, but I hope that you're not blaming yourself for that. It sucks to see someone you love unhappy, but please remember that the cause of that anxiety is the people who chose not to do what they said they would do - NOT you. You seem like a really good friend, and I'm sorry you and the bride are having to deal with this.
posted by DingoMutt at 11:48 AM on May 5, 2016 [11 favorites]


DO NOT feel bad about this, you did as much as you could to try and give the bride a special weekend. It's now on the others to make this up to her, not you. In fact, you are the wrong person to continue doing anything at this point, these assholes clearly feel OK in ignoring anything you plan.

If I were you, I'd email the MOH whose job this actually is and tell her that despite your best efforts, you've tried to plan this weekend and been ignored by the group so it's fallen through. Due to nobody responding to you, it's best now that she takes over - you don't want to step on her toes as MOH after all - and you'll now be leaving the organising of this weekend in her capable hands. Tell her that the bride is now anxious about the whole thing and that her it's her job to calm her down and make it a great weekend for her. (I'm assuming the MOH left you in the lurch too - she should definitely feel some pain for dumping this on you.) Remember, don't ASK, TELL. You're not doing it, SHE is.

Let the bride know that the MOH is now taking charge and you trust she will do a great job and wash your hands of it. People suck. What a mess.
posted by Jubey at 2:39 PM on May 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


You did fine. This is not your fault. You feel bad because you're a considerate person. Unfortunately, the bride has inconsiderate friends.

The entire idea that a bride must have an entire bachelorette weekend involving staying overnight is a relatively new one; this, like everything else in wedding culture, gets bigger and bigger and more expensive by the month in terms of what's considered customary, it feels like. What you are experiencing as a major expense used to, not that long ago, traditionally be an evening spent with friends having drinks. I'm begging you: don't feel like if this weekend as such winds up not happening at all, the bride has been deprived of something that is fundamental to a bridal experience. It's great if everybody can cooperate to make it happen, but if everybody can't cooperate to make it happen and you wind up having a night out instead, she's going to be fine, and so will you. It's nice to want to give people extravagant experiences, but it's not always possible. Try not to stress. Either you're going to get paid or you're going to do something different; either of those outcomes is okay. Better a smaller event that stresses out no one than a bigger event that stresses out everyone.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 8:17 AM on May 6, 2016 [10 favorites]


My friend and her husband recently refused payment for an airBNB weekend 7 of us went on on a house. We wouldn't let them refuse, and even though they won't cash them, we still all sent checks for our shares.

In another story, I'm sharing a room for a wedding Im going to at a resort with a friend and I'm part of the bridal party but she paid it on her card, then asked me for me share a week later and I PayPal'd her the money. We haven't even left yet, and I made sure to give her the money.

These people you went with are not being your friend. In the future never cover for people who don't care about you.

But demand your money back even if it means burning these rickety bridges.
posted by discopolo at 11:21 PM on May 8, 2016


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