Magical Unicorn Carrot
May 2, 2016 7:53 PM   Subscribe

So, last year I applied for an internal position for a different department...

So, last year I applied for an internal position for a different department. Company's HR rules say that you have to tell your current manager before they will process your application. First I talk to manager of new position, lets call him Dean. Dean says I am a great candidate and encourages me to apply. I tell my current manager (lets call him Jim) that I want to apply for said position and after thinking for a few days he says that actually, no, due to our current staffing sitch he cannot support me applying, but if I want opportunity I can do XYZ (where XYZ is really just more of the same and not really opportunity, just him trying to hand me a mop and tell me its opportunity knocking). I take that at face value and tell Dean that Jim will not support my applying to new position. Dean says, okay, but that's bullshit, you can still apply. I mull it over and say, eh, fuck it ill still apply. I tell Jim that I am applying and he says...well, okay.

Fast forward a couple months, nothing comes of it. Dean ended up hiring someone from a different, overstaffed department. I have no issue with this. I understand the logic behind it. The guy hired is good stuff.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. Dean has another position open but I was a little late on the ball. I talk with Dean. He encourages me to apply but tells me he is basically already offering position to another internal candidate but who knows, anything can happen. I agree, so I apply. I talk to Jim about it and he asks why I want to leave his department. I tell him I like my job but it is a career cul de sac because 'inarguable reasons' and that I want to see my career moving forward and this seems like a logical choice. He says...'whatever happened with the convo last year where we talked about Magical Unicorn Promotion? I say, nothing, there was no such conversation. I know of the existence of Magical Unicorn job title but there was no actual discussion. He says, 'well maybe we need to pick up that discussion so you can feel like your career is going in the right direction' (in my rambling paragraph of generalities that is almost a direct quote, weird right???). I say, well, like I said, it looks like Dean already has a candidate that will work out, so probably nothing will come of it this time around. He acknowledges this and says well lets see what happens and take it from there. If something comes of it we will have the discussion.

Here is my take so far....

1. It truly is a career cul de sac. They have no real career progression path forward for me cuz reasons. Just take that at face value for the sake of this ask me.
2. They want/need me there. We are all replaceable in this life. But for them it would mean months nay years of annoyance.
3. He tipped his hat regarding Magical Unicorn job title that would mean $$$ and prestige and 'youre the important guy that says how high before we say jump.' Meaning, he tipped his hat that it is a possibility.
4. He basically said...that discussion will happen when/if there is a concrete threat of losing me.
5. This isn't a new phenomena. I applied for the same position a year ago. Ergo, if I was truly valued and/or they are chicken to lose me cuz of the disruption, wouldn't the right thing to do have been to actually made strides toward Magical Unicorn position? Actually, engaging me with regard to it?
6. His odd combo of being half diplomat, half back room cigar smoke brokered conventioneer has me struggling to come up with an appropriate response. I would have LOVED it if he said...yep, career cul de sac, totes mcgotes, but heres what we can do. XYZ, lets talk turkey, how can we convince you to stay??. OR, I would have understood if he was more political and said 'bla bla bla you have a great future here cuz bla bla bla' and it was just management mumbo jumbo. But this is in the middle and I am not sure how to proceed. The way I see it, the other position in another dept is almost a moot point right? I mean, Magical Unicorn position should be a way to dissuade me from even applying for said job, not as a last ditch carrot before I accept another position.

Anyway......how the fuck to proceed? HOPE ME.
posted by museum of fire ants to Work & Money (13 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
I would bet money that Jim told Dean not to hire you. If you are asking for an internal transfer, these can often be blown up by someone who manages you...because they want you (the cog) for their machine. What also hints at that per your description is the enthusiasm Dean had time 1 vs time 2 (oh gee, I will already give it to someone else.).

What I would do in your case in this priority:

-Step 1: Get out there and look for another job in another company. Do not transfer, Jim will destroy your opportunities. You decide what skills you want to have/what you want to do/and look for a job or jobs that only meet those criteria.

-Step 2: Have a conversation with Jim now. Don't let him have an arbitrary maybe this or that will appear, maybe you can do X. Plan in advance what do you want to do? Any skills? Are there training opportunities? What do you want? Sit down with Jim on a one-and-one and ask to have these opportunities. Then ask when and put it on a timeline. I usually do this step first, give them a chance, if it doesn't happen abandon ship and find a job that offers this, but from what you stated...Jim already doesn't do these things or think this way. BUT you could start getting some opportunities and training. But to be honest, start this path but still aggressively look for the real job that offers what you want outside your company.
posted by Wolfster at 8:12 PM on May 2, 2016 [3 favorites]


Response by poster: Thanks Wolfster. Some clarification before I absorb your answer and others.

Jim doesn't work with me directly. He is two levels of management above me and works in another state a bajillion miles away.

Company is big enough that Jim and Dean don't really communicate at the water cooler. This is a company where people live/work/manage all over the world. When I say different department I almost mean different planet. Not saying that there aren't hijinks, there are, I'm sure. But its not like there is a manager meeting in room 202 at 10am every morning.

anyway, thanks in advance for answers/advice/anecdotes.
posted by museum of fire ants at 8:21 PM on May 2, 2016


Ask a Manager has great stuff on internal promotions and other internal job changes. The language recommended is typically, "I'd like to see my career progress, preferably within the company. What steps do I need to take to make that happen?"

Your manager may come up with a list of things that will open the doors to a magical unicorn promotion. You might land an internal promotion or you might find that no matter what you do, that carrot keeps moving. Sorry, Cinderella. I found more things you need to "work on."

So talk to your manager and see if there's any concrete path. In the meantime, start job searching. It's possible that the only way you'll get a promotion any time soon is if you promote yourself out of the company.
posted by meemzi at 8:43 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


if I was truly valued and/or they are chicken to lose me cuz of the disruption, wouldn't the right thing to do have been to actually made strides toward Magical Unicorn position?

Tell Jim that this is something that you want and ask what you need to do to get the ball rolling. It sounds like he was expecting you to come talk with him about it after the possibility of internal job #1 fell through and you never did.
posted by Candleman at 8:47 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Response by poster: Okay, I promise not to threadsit after this....

Magical Unicorn position is something I know of from legend and tales. There are others who have obtained this role, and I have heard of it from the grapevine. Not from an actual discussion with my manager regarding yours truly. When he said...whatever happened with the discussion a year ago of dubbing you a Magical Unicorn....that discussion never ever actually happened. It was brand new news to me as of today via a phone call. There was no such convo a year ago.
posted by museum of fire ants at 8:51 PM on May 2, 2016


Going on what you said: (a) they can't afford to lose you in the position you are in now. That means you can't get a magical unicorn promotion, that's not to their advantage. (b) it is to their advantage to string you along so that you don't quit and leave, and (c) they won't have any kind of real discussion with you unless you are actually going to leave.

This sounds to me like the following:
(a) You need to realize that all magical unicorn promotion crap is a lie and not going to happen unless they are super desperate.
(b) You need to get yourself a job offer from some other company, because they won't listen unless you're willing to bolt.
(c) It sounds like they're willing to risk you leaving to some other company altogether rather than promote you from within. Or at least they're willing to play those odds.

I think if I were you I'd get another job elsewhere, let them know about it...and then take that job and leave them and their imaginary unicorn promotion in the dust and cause them months of problems not to have you. Because at this point, you've decided that one way or another, they will lose you in the job slot they want you in. They seem to think you'll stay if you just sit back like a good boy and wait or whatever. Well, maybe you will...until you find another way out.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:59 PM on May 2, 2016 [5 favorites]


Magical Unicorns do not exist. Neither does Magical Unicorn Position. The only way you're going to move out of your current role is to find a new job, at a new employer. At that point, they will offer you Magical Unicorn Position "in a few months" if you agree to stick around, but remember, Magical Unicorn Position doesn't exist, and in a few months $BOSS will forget about that conversation, much like he remembers having discussed Magical Unicorn Position with you previously. TL;DR: Find a new job, with advancement possibilities. Don't accept the counteroffer.
posted by jferg at 9:20 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


There's a saying - 'the only way up is out'. I think that applies here. Find a job somewhere else, doing something closer to what you want to do. Go work there. If your company loves you enough, they will make a Magical Unicorn position for you and hire you back. It's happened to me before.
posted by ananci at 10:25 PM on May 2, 2016


I'd follow up with Jim. "I'd love to continue the discussion about becoming a magical unicorn." See if it's for real. Meanwhile, start applying at other companies. (I agree Jim might've scuttled your chances at an internal transfer. Being a manager involves a lot of internal politics, so he may well have found a way to do that; it's kind of his job.)
posted by salvia at 10:44 PM on May 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Magical Unicorn Position doesn't exist. If it did exist, they would have been hiring for it after you showed no interest after the imaginary convo. Therefore, Magical Unicorn Position promotion possibilities should have no weight in your decisionmaking. Also, speaking as someone who's had more than one outwardly supportive boss mercilessly smash moves I was working on for a long time in order to keep me where I was most useful to them, there are other ways for Jim to poison the well than watercooler gossip, especially in a larger organization. I think your best way up is out.

And if you do get a job and go in to resign, and Jim pulls his thumb out and offers you Magical Unicorn Position... please do not take it. (I don't believe in taking counteroffers -- there was a reason you wanted out in the first place!) If they wanted to treat you well, they would have given you additional responsibilities/a promotion/etc when you earned it, not when you forced their hand.
posted by sldownard at 11:09 PM on May 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


You're ready to make a move. You are a good candidate to make a move. You weren't even considered, not really. What does this tell you?

If Jim mentioned this Unicorn minding position, talk to your direct manager about it. "Hey, Jim told me that I'm being considered for the Unicorn position, this intrigues me, please tell me more."

Chances are your manager will have no idea what you're talking about. Are there others currently holding this Unicorn position? If so, call them up and ask them for an information interview and then find out what flaming hoops they had to jump through to get this position. Can't find them? Yeah, thought so.

I know you want your next gig to magically fall into your lap, rather than having to go through finding one, applying and all of that nonsense. That would be great. It sounds like you've built yourself a nice little niche in your current job and the Powers that Be have decided that you're perfectly good right where you are.

There's another problem, you've point-blank told them that you're discontented and looking to move. Clearly they don't think enough of you to move you where you want to go, but they're willing to keep you around with empty promises...for awhile.

Time to start looking. And I agree with sldownard, don't take any counter-offers.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 4:06 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Company is big enough that Jim and Dean don't really communicate at the water cooler. This is a company where people live/work/manage all over the world. When I say different department I almost mean different planet. Not saying that there aren't hijinks, there are, I'm sure. But its not like there is a manager meeting in room 202 at 10am every morning.

All it would take is an email or phone call saying "museum of fire ants is important to us, so let's talk first if you are thinking of considering them" to derail your application, assuming that it was taken seriously in the first place.

Anyway, I agree with everyone saying that you will need to leave and find something new in order to advance. It's a big pain, but otherwise you are probably going to stay in the exact position you are in for the foreseeable future.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:33 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Large organizations aren't nimble (usually) and there is always internal politics. Unless Dean thinks you are the only person that could possibly do the job and it can help him look good in some way, there is no strong incentive for him to go against Jim's wishes and hire you from under Jim. Why would Dean waste his political capital on fighting to get you on his team when he hasn't worked with you before and when he can find someone else without attached strings?

Like Dip Flash said above, all it would have taken is one short email from Jim (especially if he is several levels up) to derail your chances. I have direct experience moving internally within a large org while not getting support from my old manager; this type of situation needs extra strong motivation from the hiring manager. It is clear from your post that Dean does not have such a motivation to hire you.

I'd start looking for outside opportunities to advance. And no, MUP doesn't exist (at least to you in your current situation). Even if it does exist, in order to see it, it is clear you need an outside offer so Jim has the incentive to show you this MUP. Then you can of course decide what is best.
posted by thewildgreen at 7:35 AM on May 3, 2016


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