Help me find a therapist in NYC before I cry myself into oblivion.
April 28, 2016 8:09 AM   Subscribe

I need to see a therapist but I have NO idea how to find one. I live in Brooklyn and would go anywhere in Queens/Brooklyn/Manhattan (but mid/down town and northeast Brooklyn would be best.) I would prefer to see a woman, maybe someone who specializes in emotionally abusive relationships. I have Oxford insurance but I dont know if that even covers therapy. I could pay up to $100 a session out of pocket, I guess. I need to see someone as soon as possible.

I hate do do this with my sockpuppet but... too many people know about my other account.

I just had a toxic relationship explode on me and I feel like I'm falling apart. I'm cycling through every possible emotion constantly and it's killing me. I really need to see a therapist to help calm me down and focus on how to heal. I have ZERO idea how to find a therapist.

I've only seen a therapist once before (years ago) and that was a recommendation from my friend. It was super awkward because the therapist kept bringing my friend up and that made me feel like there was no confidentiality. I only went twice and then stopped. So for that reason, I can't really ask my friends for recommendations.

Any suggestions would be really appreciated. Especially if they could see me asap.
posted by Everythingsalrighteverythingsfine to Health & Fitness (13 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Go to Psychology Today's therapy finder. You can filter for your insurance and location and a lot of therapists will do a free phone or email consult first.
posted by zutalors! at 8:14 AM on April 28, 2016 [7 favorites]

Many Oxford plans cover therapy. Seconding Psychology Today's therapist finder. You can even send emails directly from the portal saying you'd like an initial consult and they will pick up the thread from there.

Take care, hope you feel better soon.
posted by superfluousm at 8:23 AM on April 28, 2016

If your situation is that dire, you can go to any emergency room in any hospital and tell them of your situation, especially if you are thinking of harming yourself. They have to help you. They do it every day. Don't try to wait or think yourself out of this.
If you can't find help in any other way, go do this. Please take care of yourself, and I don't say that lightly.
Be well.
posted by jtexman1 at 8:40 AM on April 28, 2016

Just wanted to pop in and say thank you so much for your concern. I am not thinking of self-harm, I promise. I'm just an emotional wreck. Plus, my situation is such that I have to see my ex every single day, so.... I just really need some guidance in how to deal with all this before I have an actual nervous breakdown :(
posted by Everythingsalrighteverythingsfine at 8:46 AM on April 28, 2016

I'm really sorry to hear you're having a hard time!
If you are working, your employer might offer access to an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Many of them will pay for up to 3 free visits with a therapist per issue per year, and they can help you find a therapist you can see quickly. It's worth checking with HR and making a call to the EAP if you have one.
posted by Coffeemate at 8:48 AM on April 28, 2016

I'm nowhere near Brooklyn, but I do this pretty regularly. I just open up the phonebook, seriously, and start calling around 'til I get somebody who can see me in the next couple of days/next week at a reasonable cost (try united way referral if everything's ruinous). I avoid Freud at all costs and usually have pretty good luck with CBT people not sucking too hard. The last one was really great--I stuck with her for a couple of years after the initial insane crisis just because we liked each other. Just get the first appointment you can with the first halfway-reasonable-sounding person who can see you soon and then if they turn out to be a freak, lather, rinse, repeat. Unless my experience is unusual, likely they will not turn out to be a freak.
posted by Don Pepino at 8:54 AM on April 28, 2016

(And by "freak" I mean, they want to charge you crazy money or get you to sign on for some sort of scientifically suspect somethingorother that you can't buy into without turning off your brain or enroll you in a three-year-long unpack-it-all let's-spend-twohundred-sessions-examining-your-first-year-of-life process for an immediate crisis.)
posted by Don Pepino at 8:57 AM on April 28, 2016

Hi -

If you want a recommendation, memail me; I saw a therapist now and then over the past ten years and found someone absolutely wonderful, who accepts insurance and is also willing to work on a sliding scale (to a point) if not. She's so easy to talk to and extremely sympathetic.

The only caveat is that she's based outside the city, but she does have office hours in Manhattan one night a week. If you are interested give me a memail and I'll send you her name.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:31 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]

Seconding the psychology today site. It's how I found my last therapist. Totally legit and good and easy.
posted by wemayfreeze at 9:59 AM on April 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm still in my abusive relationship, but soon, once I manage to follow my plan and leave, I'm going to try the counseling center that is run through Safe Horizon. It's in Brooklyn.

They accept insurance and have sliding scale and other options. The center specializes in treating those who have experienced abuse and trauma. I haven't called them myself yet, so I can't be more specific on pricing/experience, but maybe they can help. Since they specialize in this sort of thing, I suspect they would have options and be able to find you someone appropriate.
posted by Fire at 3:21 PM on April 28, 2016

I felt in desperate need for a therapist a few weeks ago and couldn't wait for a local appointment. A friend of mine directed me to, which is online-based therapy via message, video chat or email, as you like. All the therapists are "real", certified therapists with different specialisations, and I think I definitely saw some focused on abuse. The prices should be in your range as well, I pay around 50 pounds per session.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 11:29 PM on April 28, 2016

If you're interested I can recommend someone in the city who takes Oxford insurance among others (though she is not in-network) and accepts payment for the deductible amount on a sliding scale, if you want to memail me. I don't know that she specializes in abusive relationships, but she's very, very kind and supportive.
posted by rafaella gabriela sarsaparilla at 5:42 AM on April 30, 2016

Everyone has been so kind. Thank you for the recommendations and the emails. I have reached out to several therapists and hopefully one of them will get back to me soon. In the meantime, I will check out the online therapy that LoonyLovegood suggested. Thanks so much, guys. I will be ok.
posted by Everythingsalrighteverythingsfine at 8:22 AM on April 30, 2016

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