Hyper Modern Etiquette Books or Blogs

April 2, 2016 9:39 PM

I'm a bit of an etiquette buff. Not that I follow all the rules, but I'm intrigued by what "the rules" are. I was wondering though if there were etiquette books or blogs that address really modern issues.

For example, if one is addressing a wedding invitation to a polyamorous family, should one have all three names listed (Mr. A, Ms. B & Mr. C - assuming it is just three people) or should one just send it to the A-B-C family? Another example might be, should a person congratulate or otherwise acknowledge someone returning to work after a gender transition or is it better to just act like everything is the same?

I don't need those questions answered here - I can pretty much figure a lot of this out of my own, but I would love to find a blog that really digs into this stuff and hear what the "official" rules of etiquette would say. I have a feeling Ms. Manners probably doesn't cover these topics. Suggestions?

posted by Toddles to Human Relations (6 answers total)

Best answer: You might enjoy these two columns in the NYT: Social Q's and Circa Now by Henry Alford. Neither are in-depth about "rules" but are entertaining & often address interesting questions. Alford also wrote Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That: A Modern Guide to Manners, which I found entertaining.
posted by Nosey Mrs. Rat at 9:59 PM on April 2, 2016

Best answer: Shmanners is a podcast that does this, if you're a podcast person.
posted by ariadne's threadspinner at 10:04 PM on April 2, 2016

Best answer: Debretts, is almost the opposite of the type of thing you are talking about: they have always written for members of a small elite who wish to know how to dress for polo matches or write to a viscount's daughter. But their guides have been updated constantly and are, I suspect, thus intended to cater for contemporary twists. See taking sides during a divorce or managing your sense of humour.
posted by rongorongo at 10:46 PM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: The Washington Post has an etiquette columnist, Steven Petrow, who addresses this kind of issue specifically.

Miss Manners routinely addresses questions about gay marriage with answers that amount to "You treat them like any other married couple, duh." She's also addressed issues around gender transitioning.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:01 PM on April 2, 2016 [1 favorite]

Best answer: How about Awesome Etiquette? A very neat podcast (http://www.infiniteguest.org/awesome-etiquette/)
posted by james33 at 3:33 AM on April 3, 2016

Best answer: You really should give Miss Manners and her books a chance. They cover a lot more than you'd think- the world may be different but people are the same.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:01 AM on April 3, 2016 [5 favorites]