Help sort out dying grandma's finances and insurance

March 20, 2016 3:52 PM

My grandma is on her death bed. Grandpa is still alive but mostly incompetent. We're trying to figure out what insurance they might have (and if it's current) and where their money is so we can pay for medical bills, impending funeral, home care, etc. Is there a way to search for this type of stuff by name or SSN? Not necessarily online, but perhaps through national databases accessible to insurance agents or bank managers or government agencies.
posted by buckaroo_benzai to Work & Money (13 answers total)

There are tips here:
Unclaimed Insurance Money and Lost Insurance Policies

You might also try looking for "unclaimed property" websites and entering their names and variations of their names.
posted by Michele in California at 4:11 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

Do your grandparents have a lawyer? Or do they have a file drawer with important paperwork?
posted by bluedaisy at 4:17 PM on March 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: They don't have a lawyer. We've been going through their files and it's very confusing what's what. Lots of the paperwork we're finding is from years ago. We have been telling them for years to get everything in order and it's not, and their health has declined so rapidly that if we can even get answers from them, what they say is questionable. I'm hoping there's an easier way to go about this.
posted by buckaroo_benzai at 4:26 PM on March 20, 2016

I'm sorry, this is often such a struggle. I'd be looking for bank information and seeing if you can work from there (bank statements and what got paid where and when) to some of the other stuff. What was helpful for me when my dad died was keeping a google doc with information about the companies I'd found, contact info for them and status of whatever the issue was, so that more than one person could be working through these situations (sometimes it's a perfect job to give someone who says "Can I help?" and you're overwhelmed). You can check with your grandparents' employers who may have benefits coordinators who would know the status of 401Ks and that sort of thing if they had money in that sort of thing. You might be able to check the status of their SSN benefits through this site depending what information of theirs you have access to and this may help with Medicaid or at least give you a person you can call.
posted by jessamyn at 4:33 PM on March 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

Going through something similar right now. Start out by looking in their wallets for credit cards and bank cards. Then get into their bank accounts and see what they've been paying for. That should give you clues. For example, insurance policies generally require at least quarterly payments. Go back as far as you can online (even if they themselves never use/have never used online banking, YOU can set it up for them and look at it). For a fee, banks will give you printouts of older statements, too.

You should probably have someone in your family get Power of Attorney, stat. It's easy and allows you to act in their behalf. If you have it, you can check with the town and see if their taxes are paid, what's in their paystubs, etc.
posted by clone boulevard at 4:34 PM on March 20, 2016 [7 favorites]

Sorry, accidentally hit post. The good news going forward is bills will continue to roll in every month, so you'll eventually know what's going on. But I think now is a good time to get a point person who can take responsibility for finding all this out. And that person needs to have power of attorney.
posted by clone boulevard at 4:37 PM on March 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

Oh, oh! Sorry for the third post, but I just thought of this. If your grandmother is under medical care in a hospital, the hospital will have a social worker who can help you work through the medical bills aspect. Usually they will only discuss issues like this with someone who is legally responsible for your grandmother, so, your grandfather. But if he is overwhelmed or unable to deal, he can allow them to discuss matters with someone in your family. If your grandmother is still alert and able to make decisions, it might be a good idea to get someone other than her husband as the medical proxy. Medical proxy gives you a lot more legal access to information in the hospital.
posted by clone boulevard at 4:43 PM on March 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

Having been through similar situations I think the advice above is excellent, as usual for AskMetafilter. Let me underscore the absolute importance of getting medical and financial power of attorney from either grandparent. Quickly. It will make everything so so much easier down the line if you have power of attorney. Be prepared to provide multiple copies of said power of attorney. But once you've established yourself as power of attorney, you'll be able to take care of things with a minimum of hassle.
posted by DrGail at 5:03 PM on March 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

But also understand that power of attorney ends at the person's death. When you have the POA,have a relative become a signer on your grandparent's bank accounts. If your grandmother dies and your grandfather is not capable someone will need to pay his bills, etc.
posted by readery at 5:31 PM on March 20, 2016 [4 favorites]

If they are not legally competent to handle their own affairs, they may not be able to give you power of attorney (and that's assuming they want to - if they are competent, they can refuse). If so, you would need to have someone obtain guardianship. You will need to hire a lawyer for that, and it's very important to find someone who specializes in elder law. If family members are not in agreement or if your grandparents don't want to give up control, it could get messy.
posted by FencingGal at 5:32 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

2nding FencingGal - at this point, guardianship / conservatorship for both grandparents is likely the best approach.

A lawyer who concentrates on these issues can be found at this page.

Don't wait. Call Monday.
posted by megatherium at 7:33 PM on March 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

I don't know that there's any real short-cut or one-stop-shop for this kind of stuff, having gone through it recently for my husband. Even with the fact that I *knew* what I was looking for and some of the accounts were even jointly held, it was still a pain to piece together whatever I was missing. The fact that it was the end of the year meant that a lot of End of Year and tax statements are sent out in Jan/Feb so that helped me. So yes, keep an eye on the mail and sift through it for any clues and leads. Are there any family friends or neighbors they were close to? They might have intel.
Is there a will anywhere? An address book? A lot of older people still keep phone/address books and they can be a goldmine of info.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 10:07 PM on March 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

Request a free credit report from one or more of the credit reporting bureaus: Equifax or Transunion or the other ones. It should have at least a list of all bank accounts on there. (assuming grandparents are ok with you acting for them or can help you fill out the request form).
posted by CathyG at 7:56 AM on March 21, 2016 [4 favorites]