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January 30, 2016 3:59 AM

[Sex Advice Filter] Past boyfriends got sex-kitten me, but Future Husband only got young-associate-lawyer me, who was way less interested in sex than she used to be. Now we're getting married, and he deserves a fireworks-filled honeymoon. Recommend me sexy books / other media we can consume together during the honeymoon that will help us spice it up.
posted by anthropomorphic to Media & Arts (5 answers total)

I don't want to disappoint you, but after the hullaballo of the wedding, the stress, the aggravation, you may not want to get into a whole, orchestrated sex thing. We were a few days into the honeymoon before we were in any kind of space to actually decompress enough to do sex. Don't force it, let it happen organically

You know your intended best, what turns him on? Is it sexy lingerie? Is it exotic moves a la the Kama Surtra? Is it that blindfolded food tasting scene from Nine and a Half Weeks? Is it really nasty porno?

Married sex is special because there's a life-long commitment. It really is different. You may not want fireworks after all. You both might crave a warm crackling fire instead.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:09 AM on January 30, 2016 [3 favorites]

If you haven't done it already, you might go to MojoUpgrade. It's normally designed to help partners find out things that the other is interested in but has been too shy to bring up, but you can also fill it out as "things we'd like to do on the honeymoon." And it might turn up something interesting and new to try.

In general, it's going to depend on what gets the two of you going. Some people like tasteful European films with a little skin, some people like hardcore porn. It sounds like you're worried specifically about your sex drive, so make sure both of you hit your personal triggers - I had an ex that would go from 0 to 60 for sexual interest if touched in an intimate but non-obvious spot, for example. Tell him what you need and be open to him trying to initiate, even if you may not be in the mood that second.

Doing physical activities together is one thing that tends to help couples bond, so you might try to make sure that you get at least a little activity like hiking, couples tennis, etc. in each day. Sensual stuff like giving each other nude massages may also help.
posted by Candleman at 7:59 AM on January 30, 2016 [4 favorites]

Get "The joy of sex." Read it in bed together. See where it takes you.
posted by Michele in California at 10:44 AM on January 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

We did a jigsaw puzzle of a nude on our honeymoon, but I can't say it had the effect you are looking for.
posted by SemiSalt at 11:31 AM on January 30, 2016 [7 favorites]

Not the explodey sparks you're looking for, but for long-term sexual happiness? Emily Nagoski's "Come As You Are" is AMAZING.
posted by fritillary at 6:16 PM on January 31, 2016 [2 favorites]