Worry about my referee's comments about potential jobs?

January 29, 2016 3:53 AM

I've been offered Job A. Job B left a voicemail at the 11th hour today asking me to ring back on Mon. Based on what my referee told me at work drinks tonight, he thinks Job B is very likely to offer me a job. He said Job A were perfectly nice but felt like they were asking questions to catch me out, while Job B sounded like they wanted to hear nothing but good things about me, as though they *actually* wanted to employ me. Having said that, Job A is interstate so I don't know if they're just trying to make sure I'm not a dud. If I get offered Job B on Monday, would you make anything of what my referee mentioned? Could it be a reflection on them as people to work for? Thanks (and sorry I can't wait till Mon, it's been months and months of frustration and anxiety, to the point that keeping busy doesn't even work)
posted by glache to Work & Money (8 answers total)

Do you have a written offer from Job A? It's perfectly okay to tell them, "Great! I'm really excited, go ahead and send over the paperwork and I'll review it over the weekend." It will take them more than a day to get it all together. Tell job B the same thing.

Then review both offers and think about each position and each manager and go with the best one.

Congratulations!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 3:57 AM on January 29, 2016 [19 favorites]

The last time I went through this process at a larger company, the person who called my references was someone in HR in an office almost 3000 miles away, with no connection to the office and people I would have been working with. So I wouldn't automatically make too much out of what was said in those calls, and I definitely wouldn't make any plans until you have an actual offer in hand.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:37 AM on January 29, 2016 [5 favorites]

Sounds to me like company A was doing proper due diligence, making sure you're not the sort of employee who looks good on paper and does well in interviews, but turns out to be a jerk in the workplace. If company B didn't care enough to ask questions which would uncover whether you were a jerk, you might find more jerks working there than at company A.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 4:43 AM on January 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

I wouldn't make anything of your referee's comments, frankly. At this stage, assuming both A and B companies want you, why they chose you is pure speculation and also irrelevant. Which company is better for you? Who do YOU want?
posted by nkknkk at 5:19 AM on January 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

i think this is just noise. but sometimes it takes a little noise to confirm a hunch. if you were already worrying about A, and this feels like confirmation, i would go with B. but if it's more like a "wtf?" then stay with A.
posted by andrewcooke at 5:58 AM on January 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

The comments are entirely irrelevant. (Saying this as someone who has done hundreds of reference calls and heard thousands of colleagues making them.) It's usually a recruiter doing it, i.e. not someone you'd be reporting to, and they have their own style and/or a list of questions to go through; it has nothing to do with how the company is thinking of you specifically. Do your own diligence before accepting.
posted by fingersandtoes at 7:39 AM on January 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Forgive me, but what is referee? You mean someone who referred you to a job? (I'm having visions of a guy in black and white stripes with a whistle.) I would completely disregard this person's comments either way and go with your own gut and your own feeling about which company is a better fit for you. If anyone makes you an offer, they want to hire you, period. Think about which job you want more, and if you want B more, see if they offer you a job on Monday. If you want A more, just accept A and don't worry about B. If you're not sure and want to weigh your options, just tell both A and B you will evaluate the offer and get back to them next at a later juncture.
posted by AppleTurnover at 10:15 AM on January 29, 2016

Response by poster: @RuthlessBunny I've always wondered how to demand a written offer without sounding like you'd necessarily accept. That's perfect wording, I'm gonna file that for next time.

@andrewcooke I was worrying about A because I would be out of my comfort zone and not even sure if it would be worth it (and I'm used to being out of comfort zones), so I felt relief when he said B (which is in the comfort zone). But you don't grow in a comfort zone.

@fingersandtoes No, for the particular types of jobs I've been applying for, the standard is that the prospective direct line manager is the one doing the checks. Healthcare, if that clarifies. So definitely it's them.

@AppleTurnover Sorry not someone who's referred me to a job. Reference is probably a better word. Like you know, people you list on your resume to vouch for you.

Thanks guys!
posted by glache at 4:17 PM on January 29, 2016 [1 favorite]