Having my disabled mother move in

January 27, 2016 5:00 PM

I live in North Carolina and my mother receives disablity and Medicare. I want her to move in with us. She is afraid she will lose her benefits if she does not pay us rent. How can we make this work?

Further explanation:

Mom is 51 and doesn't work due to several debilitating conditions. For the past 7 years, she has lived in a horrifying apartment building and paid rent there. I now live with my fiance' and we are marrying in February. We want my mother to move in but have determined that this is considered "in-kind income." Mom is now worried about losing part or all of her disability and Medicare benefits.

I would allow her to pay rent (begrudgingly), but I'm not even sure we can do that because we live in Forsyth county and it looks like we'd have to turn our home into a boarding house for her to legally pay rent, which you can only do in certain districts. My fiance' owns the home and has an active mortgage so I'm really not sure what all is involved. Can anyone provide any advice? I really want my mother with us. I'm expecting my first baby in March and we're all excited about living with eachother.

posted by nohaybanda to Law & Government (7 answers total)

It's good to know in advance what the implications might be for her benefits. Could you and your mother get some legal advice on this from Legal Aid of North Carolina? It sounds like they could be a great help to her (and you).

As far as I know, Medicare benefits are never conditional on income or living situation. If she has Medicaid, that is definitely a consideration.
posted by Snerd at 5:16 PM on January 27, 2016 [7 favorites]

Yeah, a civil legal aid lawyer might be just what you need to help you figure this out.
posted by showbiz_liz at 5:44 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

North Carolina laws about boarding houses almost always apply to UNRELATED adults living in a home ... Not to family members. (The laws are wildly preoccupied with a) college student rentals and b) brothels.) Also typically it requires the house to have been illegally subdivided into full or partial apartments. Here Winston-Salem's FAQ. Charging a family member rent when you occupy the house full time and share public spaces is unlikely to trigger the restrictions; the W-S rules all specify they only apply when there are more than four unrelated adults. You have zero unrelated adults.

It's worth consulting with an attorney probably who practices disability law or elder law, who is familiar with the eligibility requirements and various housing options for people in your mother's situation. They can also either help you or refer you to someone who can help you with the rental situation in Forsyte Co., but I suspect you're fine and the county is worried about student rentals and illegally subdivided single family homes, especially of the firetrap variety. Not multigenerational families or nanny suites or renting one room to a friend.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:25 PM on January 27, 2016 [5 favorites]

It depends on the type of "disability" she is receiving. SSI payments and SSDI payments are both paid by the Social Security Administration, but the rules for each are different. The fact that someone mentioned "in-kind income" suggests that it might be SSI, and that would make her ineligible.

I suggest you contact a lawyer in your area using this page. This is the "find a lawyer" page for the National Association of Elder Law Attorneys, and its members are conversant with the rules regarding social disability programs.
posted by megatherium at 5:04 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

If your mother does need to pay you rent you could ask the lawyer about setting up a trust fund for her to hold the money she pays you. You would administer (and pay taxes on) the fund, but it doesn't count towards her assets.
posted by JawnBigboote at 6:28 AM on January 28, 2016

You are using confusing terms. If she receives SSI, she very likely does not receive Medicare. If she receives Medicare at age 51, she very likely recieves Title II Disability benefits. The Title II program does not care what her living arrangement is. As has been pointed out, the SSI program does. It counts in kind shelter assistance as income. Correcting what has been said above, it would not render her ineligible. Rather, it would reduce her SSI benefits by one third. SSA's rules presume that in kind shelter income is worth one third of the SSI check and reduce the check by that amount. She can avoid this by paying her fair share pro rata household expenses or by paying you fair market rent. There are other potential strategies.

If you google the term "POMS in kind support and maintenance," you will be lead to SSA's manual explaining this stuff.

But, again, if she recieves Title II disability, you needn't worry.
posted by pasici at 4:23 PM on January 28, 2016

Have you looked into finding better housing for her? I have a couple of friends, one of whom lives in rural NC, who have subsidized housing for people with handicaps. I've visited both and their places are really nice. The one in NC is in an old refurbished school, great apartment with big windows and high ceilings. Their rent is based on their income and very affordable. Here's one such place in Winston-Salem.
posted by mareli at 4:52 PM on January 28, 2016