2 weeks into new job in a new industry, given no time to learn
January 23, 2016 12:26 PM Subscribe
I have been trying very hard at a new job in a new industry, and have been reprimanded twice (both in front of other people and alone) by my boss during my second week in training. I am made to feel incompetent when I know I am very capable person who is simply learning the landscape. Please help me navigate this situation.
I started at a new job in a new industry (of which I had no prior past experience, though a lot of my skills were transferable) two weeks ago. I had always been curious about this new industry and went through a recruitment firm and landed an interview. When I was offered the job the feedback was that though I didn't have prior work experience in this industry, I seemed like a good fit for the work culture and they thought I'd fit right in. During the interview I had some misgivings about my prospective supervisor. She seemed aggressive, disorganized, and manic. But I was still interested in the position, and was in need of an income as my previous employer was closing shop (as an aside, I had a wonderful working relationship with this organization and my supervisor. She has provided me with great references and was always happy with my work). So I took the new job despite the bad vibe I got from the supervisor in the interview.
I just finished my second week and am bewildered at how I’ve been treated. This is a new industry, so I’ve been working very hard every day to learn the terminology, taking copious notes, asking lots of questions, and overall just trying to get my bearings and learn the landscape. The training started off well, my supervisor insisted that I ask lots of questions and that she “likes to be interrupted” and to always feel comfortable talking to her. Despite the training schedule (which was given to me on my first day), my boss decided to throw me into a new project at the end of my first week so that I could “learn from my mistakes”. All well and good, I was a bit nervous but I also knew this would be a great way to learn how these projects are done from start to finish as I’d be managing them in the future. The next week my boss was away for 2 days, so I kept abreast of the project (as best I knew how) all the while keeping on top of the training documents and videos I was assigned to complete while she was out of the office.
She comes back and then pulls a bunch of us aside and reprimands me in front of other people for not speeding up the project. I was really taken back because I thought I was getting the project going… I thought I was on task. She kept repeating that she’s “pulling out”, to not come to her with questions because she is not leading this project. People would come to her with a question and she just kept repeating “why are you talking to me?”. Who is suppose to mentor me, then? A few co-workers were very sympathetic with me and mentioned that I have sort of been dropped into this project at the beginning of my 2nd week and kindly asked how I was doing.
The day after she reprimanded me in front of people, she asked that we meet the next day to talk about how my first few weeks were going. I thought this would be a great opportunity to address that I still need some mentorship, that I am handling the project as best I can, but I still have a lot of questions. When we met she berated me for taking too long to write up a certain document, that it “shouldn’t have taken me that long” to complete it, and every thing fell back because of me. I apologized and mentioned that I needed a bit more time because I haven’t compiled a document like this before (its not rocket science or anything, I was just going through my training manual making sure I was doing it properly). Then she said that I should have studied how to do this before I started in the job. I have written similar types of documents before, but for an entirely different industry, so its the language and the specs that I was trying to dot my i’s and cross my t’s on. I thought my first time around I could have more time? I am a smart and capable person, and given some time I have no doubt I can write that document in 30 mins, etc.
She said that I should know how to do X and Y, but when considering my past work experience, that simply isn’t true. I defended myself and said that I was very honest and upfront in my interview, on my C.V. and with the recruiter about my work experience and skills. I never falsified my skill set or past work experience. But she kept insisting that I am struggling and she can’t trust me. I repeatedly tried to steer the conversation towards something constructive that I could do to get better (I think I even said just that at one point “how can I make this better?”) and she kept saying that she can see that I’m trying to pin down areas of improvement but she doesn’t have anything to offer me right now. I thought I was given some space to "learn from my mistakes", or at least learn the ropes in the first few weeks? Am I wrong for wanting more mentorship, for some time to understand how their company works?
I felt so condescended to and insulted when she implied that I don’t have any organizational skills, because I managed my old job very well whilst studying full-time in grad school (both successfully), and I am simply learning how things are down in this new company. Is that not normal? She said if she placed someone who came from the same industry in this position, they’d know what to do immediately…. and… of course? But she knew my background, she interviewed me. She said she called the recruiter earlier and told him how she felt about me (which she said in a very accusatory manner, acting like I pulled the wool over her eyes and that he should know).
I left that conversation with the sense that… she wants me to quit? I was given no constructive feedback as to how I can improve, she simply went over all the things I did wrong and that she thought I had better skills in X and Y.
This is so incredibly frustrating. Every day I have been going 120 mph, taking short lunch breaks, trying to study up and retain all of the information. I feel so deflated and defeated and angry. I went home yesterday in tears because I feel like I’m now in an impossible situation where doing my best isn’t good enough for her and our communication has broken down. I feel completely mis-managed, misguided about their expectations, and professionally insulted.
In addition to this, her overall behavior is very erratic, she seems very disorganized and is constantly insisting in a huffy manner that she is “leaving by X time today!” in a way that suggests others are keeping her there. She also talks about her depression and “big life changes” on office-wide chat conversations, which I find super weird. She will be friendly one minute, and then after I ask a question that she seems to think is annoying or (something, I don’t even know!) she freezes me out for the rest of the day: she ignores me, acts more chummy with the other staff, and then leaves without saying goodbye to me. I noticed this behavior from day one and felt super leery about her from the get-go. But again, was trying to deal and just do my work.
I am thinking of leaving and looking for something else. I’m not crazy about the role, but I was trying really hard to make it work and look for the positives. But I feel so frustrated and condescended to on top of her aggressive and hot-and-cold behavior (which I maybe could have learned to deal with). I have never had any problems like this professionally, and I feel like this is obviously not a good fit for me and I need to move on.
What would you do in this situation? Is this repairable?
I started at a new job in a new industry (of which I had no prior past experience, though a lot of my skills were transferable) two weeks ago. I had always been curious about this new industry and went through a recruitment firm and landed an interview. When I was offered the job the feedback was that though I didn't have prior work experience in this industry, I seemed like a good fit for the work culture and they thought I'd fit right in. During the interview I had some misgivings about my prospective supervisor. She seemed aggressive, disorganized, and manic. But I was still interested in the position, and was in need of an income as my previous employer was closing shop (as an aside, I had a wonderful working relationship with this organization and my supervisor. She has provided me with great references and was always happy with my work). So I took the new job despite the bad vibe I got from the supervisor in the interview.
I just finished my second week and am bewildered at how I’ve been treated. This is a new industry, so I’ve been working very hard every day to learn the terminology, taking copious notes, asking lots of questions, and overall just trying to get my bearings and learn the landscape. The training started off well, my supervisor insisted that I ask lots of questions and that she “likes to be interrupted” and to always feel comfortable talking to her. Despite the training schedule (which was given to me on my first day), my boss decided to throw me into a new project at the end of my first week so that I could “learn from my mistakes”. All well and good, I was a bit nervous but I also knew this would be a great way to learn how these projects are done from start to finish as I’d be managing them in the future. The next week my boss was away for 2 days, so I kept abreast of the project (as best I knew how) all the while keeping on top of the training documents and videos I was assigned to complete while she was out of the office.
She comes back and then pulls a bunch of us aside and reprimands me in front of other people for not speeding up the project. I was really taken back because I thought I was getting the project going… I thought I was on task. She kept repeating that she’s “pulling out”, to not come to her with questions because she is not leading this project. People would come to her with a question and she just kept repeating “why are you talking to me?”. Who is suppose to mentor me, then? A few co-workers were very sympathetic with me and mentioned that I have sort of been dropped into this project at the beginning of my 2nd week and kindly asked how I was doing.
The day after she reprimanded me in front of people, she asked that we meet the next day to talk about how my first few weeks were going. I thought this would be a great opportunity to address that I still need some mentorship, that I am handling the project as best I can, but I still have a lot of questions. When we met she berated me for taking too long to write up a certain document, that it “shouldn’t have taken me that long” to complete it, and every thing fell back because of me. I apologized and mentioned that I needed a bit more time because I haven’t compiled a document like this before (its not rocket science or anything, I was just going through my training manual making sure I was doing it properly). Then she said that I should have studied how to do this before I started in the job. I have written similar types of documents before, but for an entirely different industry, so its the language and the specs that I was trying to dot my i’s and cross my t’s on. I thought my first time around I could have more time? I am a smart and capable person, and given some time I have no doubt I can write that document in 30 mins, etc.
She said that I should know how to do X and Y, but when considering my past work experience, that simply isn’t true. I defended myself and said that I was very honest and upfront in my interview, on my C.V. and with the recruiter about my work experience and skills. I never falsified my skill set or past work experience. But she kept insisting that I am struggling and she can’t trust me. I repeatedly tried to steer the conversation towards something constructive that I could do to get better (I think I even said just that at one point “how can I make this better?”) and she kept saying that she can see that I’m trying to pin down areas of improvement but she doesn’t have anything to offer me right now. I thought I was given some space to "learn from my mistakes", or at least learn the ropes in the first few weeks? Am I wrong for wanting more mentorship, for some time to understand how their company works?
I felt so condescended to and insulted when she implied that I don’t have any organizational skills, because I managed my old job very well whilst studying full-time in grad school (both successfully), and I am simply learning how things are down in this new company. Is that not normal? She said if she placed someone who came from the same industry in this position, they’d know what to do immediately…. and… of course? But she knew my background, she interviewed me. She said she called the recruiter earlier and told him how she felt about me (which she said in a very accusatory manner, acting like I pulled the wool over her eyes and that he should know).
I left that conversation with the sense that… she wants me to quit? I was given no constructive feedback as to how I can improve, she simply went over all the things I did wrong and that she thought I had better skills in X and Y.
This is so incredibly frustrating. Every day I have been going 120 mph, taking short lunch breaks, trying to study up and retain all of the information. I feel so deflated and defeated and angry. I went home yesterday in tears because I feel like I’m now in an impossible situation where doing my best isn’t good enough for her and our communication has broken down. I feel completely mis-managed, misguided about their expectations, and professionally insulted.
In addition to this, her overall behavior is very erratic, she seems very disorganized and is constantly insisting in a huffy manner that she is “leaving by X time today!” in a way that suggests others are keeping her there. She also talks about her depression and “big life changes” on office-wide chat conversations, which I find super weird. She will be friendly one minute, and then after I ask a question that she seems to think is annoying or (something, I don’t even know!) she freezes me out for the rest of the day: she ignores me, acts more chummy with the other staff, and then leaves without saying goodbye to me. I noticed this behavior from day one and felt super leery about her from the get-go. But again, was trying to deal and just do my work.
I am thinking of leaving and looking for something else. I’m not crazy about the role, but I was trying really hard to make it work and look for the positives. But I feel so frustrated and condescended to on top of her aggressive and hot-and-cold behavior (which I maybe could have learned to deal with). I have never had any problems like this professionally, and I feel like this is obviously not a good fit for me and I need to move on.
What would you do in this situation? Is this repairable?
Yeah, this happened to me, and it was a high-stakes job (my mistakes could really screw up people's lives). I asked for training repeatedly and never got it. Ultimately, I quit: 45% for ethical reasons, 45% for the lack of training, and 10% for a really difficult commute. (Guess which reason I gave when asked why I left that job.) It was a great decision.
posted by wintersweet at 12:37 PM on January 23, 2016
posted by wintersweet at 12:37 PM on January 23, 2016
You are not wrong, and she is a terrible manager. Start looking, now, for a new job. You might even leave this one of your resume. She won't improve, and this is not your fault.
In the short term, for survival, keep your head down and do your best. If she tells you you should know something or have some skill, don't argue or disagree, even if she's wrong. You won't be able to reason with her. Just nod, say something like "I understand," and try not to let it bother you.
The mistake isn't in the work you are doing. You need to take all your extra energy and look for a new job rather than letting this one get you down. Don't beat yourself up over this. Do your best and get out as soon as possible. No job should feel this terrible this soon.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:41 PM on January 23, 2016 [17 favorites]
In the short term, for survival, keep your head down and do your best. If she tells you you should know something or have some skill, don't argue or disagree, even if she's wrong. You won't be able to reason with her. Just nod, say something like "I understand," and try not to let it bother you.
The mistake isn't in the work you are doing. You need to take all your extra energy and look for a new job rather than letting this one get you down. Don't beat yourself up over this. Do your best and get out as soon as possible. No job should feel this terrible this soon.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:41 PM on January 23, 2016 [17 favorites]
She can't handle change. This is a terrible quality in a manager. That she is in this position says the company culture is fucked and nobody wanted this job, or that her skill set is highly specialized and they need her. Either way, it does not bode well for you.
Keep your head down and take it until you secure another job. Or, if you have savings or generous relatives, get out of there now. Jobs that force you to handle sickness without your having a professional degree in handling sickness never, ever get better; you just either get sick yourself or get out.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 1:09 PM on January 23, 2016 [3 favorites]
Keep your head down and take it until you secure another job. Or, if you have savings or generous relatives, get out of there now. Jobs that force you to handle sickness without your having a professional degree in handling sickness never, ever get better; you just either get sick yourself or get out.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 1:09 PM on January 23, 2016 [3 favorites]
It sounds like a classic situation where, unfortunately, a company chose to fill a vacancy without thinking twice. You have been a victim of very poor process and what sounds like a manager who holds some level of gravitas where her actions are not being dealt with. It is possible she can be held accountable through the exit interview process, which means it's likely you'll be counter-offered if you try to leave. That's one way of getting some level of hearing about the manager to senior managers. However, only two weeks in I would not sweat leaving. But, as a last resort, don't forget about the recruiter who placed you in the first place. I am 90% sure you were placed on contingency, which means they won't get a dime if you don't stay for anywhere from three to six months. Again, it's possible your manager did not hire you and that the recruiter can call up the ladder and express your feelings and why you are considering leaving. If the market for trained people is so bad in your new industry, the recruiter may be able to create a scenario where the manager herself is reviewed. YMMV. I have switched industries several times and it does get easier. A possible lateral would be to look at companies who supply your old industry and use your insider status to create opportunities for them.
posted by parmanparman at 1:16 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by parmanparman at 1:16 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
I spent much of my working life in Los Angeles in jobs that started out this way. It never gets anything but worse. Much worse. Get away from this woman and find a new job.
posted by Kloryne at 1:54 PM on January 23, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Kloryne at 1:54 PM on January 23, 2016 [4 favorites]
Starting a new job and doing unfamiliar work is always tough and stressful, but that's why normally expectations for new employees are tempered. I'll just join the chorus in urging you to look for something else. Leave this one off your resume, and don't feel bad. You took a chance, this one didn't happen to work out, but chances are the next one will be better.
posted by mister pointy at 2:01 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by mister pointy at 2:01 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
Setting aside your boss for a minute, I'm going to focus on what you can learn from this experience.
Do you know what the due date is for your project? I'm reading your question and I don't see anything about you having a defensible project plan. That is the number one thing I want to see from someone I've asked to manage a project. I'd expect to see a solid draft of that at the end of the first week (stakeholder list and comm plan next, risk lists and mitigation plans come later). Even if your project is small and informal, I want to know that the person to whom I've entrusted the work has a plan. When you updated her, did you put the tasks into the context of the project plan? For a small project you can put the high level milestones at the end of the email and indicate where you are. If you aren't doing that, then she is managing the project, not you. If she needs to keep track of the schedule and you are checking in on tasks, then you aren't the PM. I don't care if you are "on task"; I want to know that you are ON PLAN.
Also, your ability to manage school and work is irrelevant. While you are at work you are supposed to be working; your life outside of the office shouldn't be an ongoing organizational obstacle to doing your job. People have children, care for their parents, go to school, etc. - everyone is balancing a life outside of the office. Certainly urgent situations happen and a good workplace will support employees through that. You don't get a pass on organizational skills because you've managed the hours you committed to school and work. (I say that as someone who worked full time through an MBA and doctorate. I absolutely know it's hard and applaud your ability to do it. But it's a choice that is irrelevant to how you perform that the office.)
Back to the boss, I don't think she's a manager who's skilled at managing junior/learning staff which is what you are. Don't be offended by that - you're junior while you learn to apply your transferable skills - you don't know the stakeholders, work processes or industry. Junior staff get assigned a mentor to help them and that didn't happen for you. Lots of managers who are excellent with senior staff are terrible with junior staff. Ask people who are successful managers of other managers - they can usually tell you who is excellent at developing staff and who is excellent at getting the best work out of senior staff.
I think you have two questions about her:
1. Is she a better manager of senior staff? If she's just an awful manager all around then you need to go. If she's excellent with senior staff then go to question 2.
2. How long and brutal is the path to being senior? Is that path worth it?
And you have two questions about you:
1. Now that you have seen the job, do you think it's a fit?
2. Do you want to stay here?
posted by 26.2 at 2:30 PM on January 23, 2016 [7 favorites]
Do you know what the due date is for your project? I'm reading your question and I don't see anything about you having a defensible project plan. That is the number one thing I want to see from someone I've asked to manage a project. I'd expect to see a solid draft of that at the end of the first week (stakeholder list and comm plan next, risk lists and mitigation plans come later). Even if your project is small and informal, I want to know that the person to whom I've entrusted the work has a plan. When you updated her, did you put the tasks into the context of the project plan? For a small project you can put the high level milestones at the end of the email and indicate where you are. If you aren't doing that, then she is managing the project, not you. If she needs to keep track of the schedule and you are checking in on tasks, then you aren't the PM. I don't care if you are "on task"; I want to know that you are ON PLAN.
Also, your ability to manage school and work is irrelevant. While you are at work you are supposed to be working; your life outside of the office shouldn't be an ongoing organizational obstacle to doing your job. People have children, care for their parents, go to school, etc. - everyone is balancing a life outside of the office. Certainly urgent situations happen and a good workplace will support employees through that. You don't get a pass on organizational skills because you've managed the hours you committed to school and work. (I say that as someone who worked full time through an MBA and doctorate. I absolutely know it's hard and applaud your ability to do it. But it's a choice that is irrelevant to how you perform that the office.)
Back to the boss, I don't think she's a manager who's skilled at managing junior/learning staff which is what you are. Don't be offended by that - you're junior while you learn to apply your transferable skills - you don't know the stakeholders, work processes or industry. Junior staff get assigned a mentor to help them and that didn't happen for you. Lots of managers who are excellent with senior staff are terrible with junior staff. Ask people who are successful managers of other managers - they can usually tell you who is excellent at developing staff and who is excellent at getting the best work out of senior staff.
I think you have two questions about her:
1. Is she a better manager of senior staff? If she's just an awful manager all around then you need to go. If she's excellent with senior staff then go to question 2.
2. How long and brutal is the path to being senior? Is that path worth it?
And you have two questions about you:
1. Now that you have seen the job, do you think it's a fit?
2. Do you want to stay here?
posted by 26.2 at 2:30 PM on January 23, 2016 [7 favorites]
I had a boss like this. It only got better when she left. If there's nothing to indicate that she's leaving soon, I would start looking for something else.
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 2:38 PM on January 23, 2016
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper at 2:38 PM on January 23, 2016
It's really hard to parse this question because we've all had terrible managers and it's easy to project.
I'm trying to imagine this from the viewpoint of your manager. You come in from another industry and need training with processes, jargon etc. Two weeks pass and you have not compiled a document that I need to move a project forward because .. you want to do the job right ("trying to dot my i’s and cross my t’s"). Well, I'd feel under pressure and be frustrated. All jobs have learning curves (especially when you start working in a new field) but I'd be worried if my new employee was finding the learning curve so steep that it was starting to have an impact on my own work.
I agree with 26.3 that your ability to manage work & school is irrelevant. Your previous job performance is equally irrelevant. What your current manager is examining is your here-and-now performance which is apparently lacking.
Be honest with yourself: is this learning curve too steep for you? would you be able to spend your evenings getting on top of what you need to learn in order to be more efficient? could you prioritise better? are you a perfectionist and, if so, how can you move on from that?
Or you could actually have an awful manager & you are doing your very best. It's just worth thinking about what it looks like from the other side of the table.
posted by kariebookish at 3:10 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm trying to imagine this from the viewpoint of your manager. You come in from another industry and need training with processes, jargon etc. Two weeks pass and you have not compiled a document that I need to move a project forward because .. you want to do the job right ("trying to dot my i’s and cross my t’s"). Well, I'd feel under pressure and be frustrated. All jobs have learning curves (especially when you start working in a new field) but I'd be worried if my new employee was finding the learning curve so steep that it was starting to have an impact on my own work.
I agree with 26.3 that your ability to manage work & school is irrelevant. Your previous job performance is equally irrelevant. What your current manager is examining is your here-and-now performance which is apparently lacking.
Be honest with yourself: is this learning curve too steep for you? would you be able to spend your evenings getting on top of what you need to learn in order to be more efficient? could you prioritise better? are you a perfectionist and, if so, how can you move on from that?
Or you could actually have an awful manager & you are doing your very best. It's just worth thinking about what it looks like from the other side of the table.
posted by kariebookish at 3:10 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
I think that there are a couple ways out of this, and here are a few things that I've seen other pple do:
At your work place, are there tons of teams that do similar types of work (as in you can move bosses) OR is there a company nearby that does what you are being trained to do? So I've had friends who had a similar experience to you, OP, and at the end of the training period, they went separate ways from the boss (in one case the person was fired, in the other case the person quit.). They both went immediately to apply for a similar job doing the exact same thing, did not mention it during the training - and they did well at the next job. It might have been because now they went through training twice, or maybe it was a different boss. But it worked.
Another possibility, especially since you mention that people are friendly and appear sympathetic. Find out who the best people are at skill X and skill Y. Ask if you can ask questions before and after (or pick their brains during lunch.) But basically give yourself an "unofficial" mentorship via those people. Be careful in that you don't want to slow down their work, but ask politely, make sure it only takes a limited amount of time, etc. But I've helped people by doing exactly what I'm suggesting, and the new employee got up to speed.
posted by Wolfster at 3:34 PM on January 23, 2016
At your work place, are there tons of teams that do similar types of work (as in you can move bosses) OR is there a company nearby that does what you are being trained to do? So I've had friends who had a similar experience to you, OP, and at the end of the training period, they went separate ways from the boss (in one case the person was fired, in the other case the person quit.). They both went immediately to apply for a similar job doing the exact same thing, did not mention it during the training - and they did well at the next job. It might have been because now they went through training twice, or maybe it was a different boss. But it worked.
Another possibility, especially since you mention that people are friendly and appear sympathetic. Find out who the best people are at skill X and skill Y. Ask if you can ask questions before and after (or pick their brains during lunch.) But basically give yourself an "unofficial" mentorship via those people. Be careful in that you don't want to slow down their work, but ask politely, make sure it only takes a limited amount of time, etc. But I've helped people by doing exactly what I'm suggesting, and the new employee got up to speed.
posted by Wolfster at 3:34 PM on January 23, 2016
Response by poster: To clarify, I was not implying that I could manage both school and work, I can understand that this is irrelevant to the work at hand. What I was trying to say is that I have project management experience in both my role at my former job and the tasks I performed in graduate school. Yes, managing them both at the same time required another form of organization, but the organizational skills I learned particularly in my previous job are directly relevant to my current job.
To answer 26.2's question about my manager's experience managing: she does not manage senior level employees, this is a small company, and I am now the second person she has managed.
Also, to clarify, I did not let two weeks pass while compiling a document. I compiled it within an afternoon, went over it with my boss, and then I spent another hour making the changes she wanted. If I were tasked with this document again it would be more seamless as I now know exactly what she is looking for and where to find the information. I am frustrated that that was thrown back in my face yesterday as a matter of concern.
And yes, this is a steep learning curve in an industry that I do not think will be a good fit for me. But, I was trying my best.
posted by hollypolly at 3:48 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
To answer 26.2's question about my manager's experience managing: she does not manage senior level employees, this is a small company, and I am now the second person she has managed.
Also, to clarify, I did not let two weeks pass while compiling a document. I compiled it within an afternoon, went over it with my boss, and then I spent another hour making the changes she wanted. If I were tasked with this document again it would be more seamless as I now know exactly what she is looking for and where to find the information. I am frustrated that that was thrown back in my face yesterday as a matter of concern.
And yes, this is a steep learning curve in an industry that I do not think will be a good fit for me. But, I was trying my best.
posted by hollypolly at 3:48 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
It sounds like something happened while she was out of the office, like she got chewed out by her higher ups or something and is now taking it out on you? Not an excuse for her behavior, but may shed some light on it.
posted by Jacqueline at 3:56 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Jacqueline at 3:56 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
Second person she's managed? That's a big deal and a big red flag.
Managing people is hard. Even if you're well trained in management and have a good mentor, learning to manage people is very, very challenging. (And I'm just talking management not leadership.) Parsing out work, setting expectations, coaching, reprimanding - those are all skills that most managers don't get right on the first try.
A fresh manager + a small company (which likely lacks a management development program) + a new employee who needs support to transfer industries = agony for everyone.
If either of you were a bit more seasoned in your role, then you could make a go of it. I don't see a path to success here. Run, don't walk.
posted by 26.2 at 4:25 PM on January 23, 2016 [5 favorites]
Managing people is hard. Even if you're well trained in management and have a good mentor, learning to manage people is very, very challenging. (And I'm just talking management not leadership.) Parsing out work, setting expectations, coaching, reprimanding - those are all skills that most managers don't get right on the first try.
A fresh manager + a small company (which likely lacks a management development program) + a new employee who needs support to transfer industries = agony for everyone.
If either of you were a bit more seasoned in your role, then you could make a go of it. I don't see a path to success here. Run, don't walk.
posted by 26.2 at 4:25 PM on January 23, 2016 [5 favorites]
Find another job, quickly. Leave this one off your resume. In your interviews, tell the truth - that you just started something with high hopes, but it's a very different environment than you thought, and it's a poor fit. If they ask why you didn't put it on, say it's because you were sure you would not be staying and the briefness of the interlude made it irrelevant.
There's no upside in waiting. You'll be constantly stressed, and eventually she'll fire you and you'll find yourself without a recent reference. Don't throw good money after bad. Leave as soon as you find something else.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:38 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
There's no upside in waiting. You'll be constantly stressed, and eventually she'll fire you and you'll find yourself without a recent reference. Don't throw good money after bad. Leave as soon as you find something else.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:38 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]
I agree with the general vibe of the comments above, but I just wanted to add that you can't always expect a mentor. Some places really do take a "figure it out for yourself" type approach and it can work...but not when you're torn down in front of co-workers when you had a go and didn't quite get it right. I would definitely be looking for a new job, but while you're there try to lower your expectations about how much training and supervision you're going to get.
One more thing in case it helps - if my manager is a nit-picker, I just throw up a poorer quality document than I otherwise would (not terrible though of course) because they won't be happy with it whatever I do, but if I spend less time on polishing it , at least they get it fast and can check that box.
posted by pianissimo at 7:31 PM on January 23, 2016
One more thing in case it helps - if my manager is a nit-picker, I just throw up a poorer quality document than I otherwise would (not terrible though of course) because they won't be happy with it whatever I do, but if I spend less time on polishing it , at least they get it fast and can check that box.
posted by pianissimo at 7:31 PM on January 23, 2016
oh yuck! Been there. I had an interview with my future manager and it gave me the creeps. I took the job anyways ignoring the red flags. Long story short, had to leave, it was a madhouse. Look for another job but try to stay long enough to get some skills in this area.
posted by stepup at 8:09 PM on January 23, 2016
posted by stepup at 8:09 PM on January 23, 2016
Run for the door - if any manager reprimands you in front of other staff - they don't know how to manage.
I'd leave it off my resume.
posted by Flowerpower at 2:09 AM on January 24, 2016
I'd leave it off my resume.
posted by Flowerpower at 2:09 AM on January 24, 2016
Keep looking for a job. This one is a poor fit and your manager is not a someone you can trust to mentor and help you.
Make them fire you so you can collect unemployment.
That's what I did in nearly the exact same situation.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:09 AM on January 24, 2016
Make them fire you so you can collect unemployment.
That's what I did in nearly the exact same situation.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 7:09 AM on January 24, 2016
Just backing up all the comments above... it's looks unlikely that this is a problem with you, much more likely that it's your manager or the situation in general. Short term - go into survival mode, concentrate on doing enough to get by, and document all discussions and criticisms, confirm any verbal instructions by email, confirm with colleagues that they're being unreasonable, and so on. Longer term - either find something else, or make a judgement call if your manager is more likely to leave the organisation before you've had enough.
A good point by 26.2 though, do what you can to see the situation from your manager's position - as a "sanity check". As was said, we've all had poor managers, so it's easy in this situation to just think "this person is crazy"... it sounds as though something in their personal or professional life has put them into a particular way of thinking, and you're the one they've chosen to take that out on.
posted by DancingYear at 7:41 AM on January 24, 2016
A good point by 26.2 though, do what you can to see the situation from your manager's position - as a "sanity check". As was said, we've all had poor managers, so it's easy in this situation to just think "this person is crazy"... it sounds as though something in their personal or professional life has put them into a particular way of thinking, and you're the one they've chosen to take that out on.
posted by DancingYear at 7:41 AM on January 24, 2016
Joining the chorus of people telling you to quit now and leave this job off your resume. And give your recruiter a heads up about the situation--I don't know about your recruitment firm, but most don't want to gain a reputation for sending people to horrible jobs/companies.
posted by Owlcat at 11:28 AM on January 24, 2016
posted by Owlcat at 11:28 AM on January 24, 2016
1. Do you think it's going to get better? How does your manager treat other people? How do your co-workers feel about working at the company? Do you get the sense that they feel supported and encouraged to develop their skills? Or is there a general sense of "learned helplessness" where everyone does what they think they should do and expects to get berated for it in public anyway? (In which case, run for the door)
2. Just for the record, your manager's behaviour is not acceptable. This is not your fault. Throwing you in the deep end on a new project is okay (like you, I learn better than way), but ONLY if she is standing by the side of the pool, giving encouragement, answering questions, pointing you in the right direction, and with a life ring in her hand ready to throw in if you need it. And it doesn't sound like she's doing this.
3. If / when you decide to leave, I would definitely tell your recruitment agent of your experience. While they make their money from the employers, they don't want to get a reputation for putting candidates forward for jobs that aren't a good fit.
I'd say you probably have 3 months (6 max) before this becomes a job that you can't explain away on your CV / resume by saying "I took a job in a new industry and I realized that the industry wasn't a good fit for me" or "I took a job in a small company and it wasn't a good fit for me - I realized that I need to work in a larger company". There is no shame in that, in fact it shows self-awareness. (As long as this is the only "blip" in the last few years).
Stay strong, don't let this experience make you question your skills and experience and what you have to offer a GOOD employer.
posted by finding.perdita at 8:58 PM on January 24, 2016
2. Just for the record, your manager's behaviour is not acceptable. This is not your fault. Throwing you in the deep end on a new project is okay (like you, I learn better than way), but ONLY if she is standing by the side of the pool, giving encouragement, answering questions, pointing you in the right direction, and with a life ring in her hand ready to throw in if you need it. And it doesn't sound like she's doing this.
3. If / when you decide to leave, I would definitely tell your recruitment agent of your experience. While they make their money from the employers, they don't want to get a reputation for putting candidates forward for jobs that aren't a good fit.
I'd say you probably have 3 months (6 max) before this becomes a job that you can't explain away on your CV / resume by saying "I took a job in a new industry and I realized that the industry wasn't a good fit for me" or "I took a job in a small company and it wasn't a good fit for me - I realized that I need to work in a larger company". There is no shame in that, in fact it shows self-awareness. (As long as this is the only "blip" in the last few years).
Stay strong, don't let this experience make you question your skills and experience and what you have to offer a GOOD employer.
posted by finding.perdita at 8:58 PM on January 24, 2016
Response by poster: Update: I was let go. This was such an incredibly frustrating experience as they obviously wanted someone in the position who had direct experience working in this industry. I am annoyed that I was interviewed and screened for this by the very same person who would later throw my inexperience in my face as if I pulled the wool over her eyes.
Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. I sucked it up, put my head down, kept working as best I could, and responded neutrally when my boss insisted I should know "X and Y". I am not shocked that they let me go, it was apparent they regretted hiring me, and I was being iced out. Moving onward and upward from here, and I hope to forget this terrible experience!
posted by hollypolly at 11:24 AM on February 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Thank you all for your encouragement and advice. I sucked it up, put my head down, kept working as best I could, and responded neutrally when my boss insisted I should know "X and Y". I am not shocked that they let me go, it was apparent they regretted hiring me, and I was being iced out. Moving onward and upward from here, and I hope to forget this terrible experience!
posted by hollypolly at 11:24 AM on February 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Also, I am definitely leaving this job off of my resume. I would never trust my former boss as a reference, so that was the plan since everything started going down hill. Have been searching for a new job furiously for weeks now, so hopefully something comes through soon. Thanks for the support, Me Fites!
posted by hollypolly at 11:27 AM on February 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by hollypolly at 11:27 AM on February 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by tau_ceti at 12:30 PM on January 23, 2016 [1 favorite]