Things to do in the evenings with a 10 month old?
December 28, 2015 4:02 PM Subscribe
Our 10-month-old son's bedtime recently changed from 6pm to 8pm, and it has really changed our dynamic at home. Instead of hanging out and catching up (which we were able to do before), my wife and I are spending most of our evenings trading off on watching him while one of us cooks or catches up on other house chores.
Any ideas or tips on ways we can spend time with him and keep him occupied and still be adults spending time together in the evenings?
Some details: Our son is already walking, so he needs pretty constant supervision in a safe-ish environment (ie. not the tiled kitchen), and is a very active baby. We spend much of the day playing with his toys (a new Christmas box fort, a fake house, xylophone, books, etc.) to keep him happy and occupied, but by the time the evening comes around we're ready for a change.
Baby isn't great at being out of the house after about 5pm or so, and my wife generally goes to bed at around 9pm in order to be up with him in the morning. We like watching TV (but are avoiding screens around the baby), board games, backgammon, home-cooked meals and cocktails.
Some details: Our son is already walking, so he needs pretty constant supervision in a safe-ish environment (ie. not the tiled kitchen), and is a very active baby. We spend much of the day playing with his toys (a new Christmas box fort, a fake house, xylophone, books, etc.) to keep him happy and occupied, but by the time the evening comes around we're ready for a change.
Baby isn't great at being out of the house after about 5pm or so, and my wife generally goes to bed at around 9pm in order to be up with him in the morning. We like watching TV (but are avoiding screens around the baby), board games, backgammon, home-cooked meals and cocktails.
Not understanding why he can't be in the kitchen? What I used to do when I had my just-walking toddler with me in the kitchen was baby-gate it at both doors so she couldn't get out, and all the bottom cabinets were either safety-latched or contained metal pots/mixing bowls/colanders that she liked to get out and play with. If there's room in the kitchen, one person can be working while the other sits on the ground, chats with the cook and plays with baby and the colanders.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:14 PM on December 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:14 PM on December 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
If you want adult time you kind of have three options:
1. Someone's bedtime changes. The easiest shift here is for you to stay up together a few nights a week, and then alternate being the person up first, or some combination to help sleep.
2. You talk adult talk on a daily walk with your tot in a stroller/sled/wrap.
3. This is one reason play pens were invented, perhaps, although also for going to the bathroom.
Quite honestly my husband and I cut down on our couple time. Now that my youngest is almost 5 we are able to reclaim more and more.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:26 PM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
1. Someone's bedtime changes. The easiest shift here is for you to stay up together a few nights a week, and then alternate being the person up first, or some combination to help sleep.
2. You talk adult talk on a daily walk with your tot in a stroller/sled/wrap.
3. This is one reason play pens were invented, perhaps, although also for going to the bathroom.
Quite honestly my husband and I cut down on our couple time. Now that my youngest is almost 5 we are able to reclaim more and more.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:26 PM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Do you want the bedtime to be 8pm? I don't want to offer a detailed perspective on child sleep if that's not what you're looking for, but my kids have always gone to bed at 630pm (in part for this reason) and it's worked out well for us.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 5:37 PM on December 28, 2015 [23 favorites]
posted by treehorn+bunny at 5:37 PM on December 28, 2015 [23 favorites]
Yeah, I was also going to "question" the 8pm bedtime. By 8pm my 20 month old has always been sound asleep and that leaves my husband and I some measure of privacy and intimacy (usually spent watching tv on the couch, but at least it's adult tv). Why the bedtime shift? Can you work on getting back to an earlier bedtime?
posted by lydhre at 6:29 PM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by lydhre at 6:29 PM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Honestly, I would aim for around a 6.30/7pm bedtime. My two and four year old both go to bed around 7, 730. Too much later and they get manic and cranky, and it becomes much harder to get them down. I have a suspicion that an earlier bedtime will work better for you, particularly as you say baby isn't great at being out of the house after 5 - this may be because he's getting tired and winding down. The good thing about an earlier bedtime is that you all get your lives back.
Failing that, I would share a bottle of wine and a chat and put on some music while one of you cooks and the other minds the baby. Or do a crossword puzzle or whatever works for you. But try the earlier bedtime first.
posted by Jubey at 7:22 PM on December 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Failing that, I would share a bottle of wine and a chat and put on some music while one of you cooks and the other minds the baby. Or do a crossword puzzle or whatever works for you. But try the earlier bedtime first.
posted by Jubey at 7:22 PM on December 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I hear you on having a later bedtime - otherwise my kids are up before buttcrack'o'dawn. It's possible, though, that he might go to bed a little earlier (7/7:15?) if you seriously wear him out, physically and mentally, starting right after dinner. We play lots of chase games and hide and seek with my 12-month-old. We also have some interesting puzzles he can only play with at that time. We tag team to get only the necessary stuff done (food put away, dishes soaking) then give the kids a ton of attention together, have a joint bath, and then do independent bedtime routines to get them into bed. Then we finish up cleaning the kitchen and have our adult time.
I get it - you are sick to death of playing with the kid by that time of day. I'm a SAHM so that's all I do too. But he seems to sense it and get even more clingy if he doesn't get that kind of attention at this time of night, and that makes bedtime go awry, so it's actually faster to do the family time and then have adult time later. The key part is to get him physically AND mentally tired - a trick someone here told me about. It helped a lot.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 7:39 PM on December 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I get it - you are sick to death of playing with the kid by that time of day. I'm a SAHM so that's all I do too. But he seems to sense it and get even more clingy if he doesn't get that kind of attention at this time of night, and that makes bedtime go awry, so it's actually faster to do the family time and then have adult time later. The key part is to get him physically AND mentally tired - a trick someone here told me about. It helped a lot.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 7:39 PM on December 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best answer: Get a baby backpack that you can wear while cooking - baby loves to watch. Also, baby CAN spend time alone. Baby-safe the baby's bedroom or another room near the kitchen and let him/her play on his/her own for a bit to wind down.
posted by Toddles at 8:04 PM on December 28, 2015
posted by Toddles at 8:04 PM on December 28, 2015
How many naps is he taking? Maybe cut down on those to get back to an earlier bedtime without insanely early mornings. I totally understand not wanting a new walker on the tiled floor and risk hitting his head there on inevitable stumbles.
posted by meijusa at 12:49 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by meijusa at 12:49 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
That's about the age we started playing "splashy splashy". We would put one or two big bath towels on the floor in the kitchen, get out one or two pots with a quarter inch of water or so in them, a couple drops of dish soap in each, a whisk, a measuring spoon and a measuring cup, and plop baby down on the towels. At first I would show him how the whisk in the water would make bubbles. At about 10 months, he mostly just liked splashing with his hands, but at 29 months now, he loves scooping up water from one container and pouring it into another container. This is a good 30 minute activity before he gets bored.
Do you have a foot stool? Something of a height where kiddo has to stand to interact with what is on top of it? Put some various fun stuff up on there and have kiddo stand and color or build or figure out how those kitchen tongs work.
Kiddo can also like sitting in the high chair "helping" cook by tasting bits and pieces you are cooking and watching.
posted by jillithd at 6:33 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Do you have a foot stool? Something of a height where kiddo has to stand to interact with what is on top of it? Put some various fun stuff up on there and have kiddo stand and color or build or figure out how those kitchen tongs work.
Kiddo can also like sitting in the high chair "helping" cook by tasting bits and pieces you are cooking and watching.
posted by jillithd at 6:33 AM on December 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Something else to consider: IKEA Hack Learning Tower. I've known kids slightly older than yours who could entertain themselves for eons in the sink. Also as someone else noted, kids love watching people cook, but I always feel when I wear my son that he's a little close for comfort to stuff I don't want him to be able to reach for/possible splashing or hot things.
posted by treehorn+bunny at 7:08 PM on December 29, 2015
posted by treehorn+bunny at 7:08 PM on December 29, 2015
Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I'm building a learning tower with some new power tools from Christmas; we're teaching the kid how to play more independently; and there's a lot of chasing happening.
posted by lukez at 6:12 AM on February 24, 2016
posted by lukez at 6:12 AM on February 24, 2016
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:49 PM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]