Co-workers will know I got a raise! What can I do?

December 27, 2015 5:29 PM

Short Version: I got a raise and my coworkers will find out. This makes me feel uncomfortable and I want to know the best way to handle the situation. Has anyone been through something like this before? Long Version below.

Little background on me to give an idea of what's going on:
I have been living in West Africa for the past two years and recently (7 months ago) had to move back to the U.S. due to instability/terrorist threats in the country. It was very hard for me to leave all the work I was doing there and re-adjust to the fact that I had to uproot and move fairly suddenly. Ultimately glad I did though because just some months later terrorists took 170 people hostage at a hotel that I visited fairly frequently...

When I moved back to the States I decided to get into a field that had always interested me but I have no background in. (Human Resources). I knew I had to start at the bottom of the ladder and was fine with that.

Last week, I got my six month introductory review. I was nervous because up until the day before I had no idea that a review would happen. (At the company I work at employees receive yearly reviews. Based on their review scores they either get a 3 % or 4% raise.) Anyways, the review went stellar! I have really made an effort since starting at this company and my boss was impressed. That felt great to hear.
The best part of the whole review was my boss telling me I was getting a pay increase as well, a 17% increase!

Now here comes the awkward part. Part of my job is to input any and all changes into our payroll system. Pay increases, transfers, promotions, EVERYTHING. I also input the information to an excel spreadsheet where the payroll team (consists of two ladies) uses that information to calculate retro-pay and such.

Now these two ladies are wonderful people who I really like. They have both worked here for 10 years together and are close. With my new increase, I will be making exactly the same as one of the payroll ladies who has been here for 10 years. We have gotten pretty close and I know how unhappy she is with her wage. I did not tell anyone about my review or increase, but guess what? Of course it will be input into the system and on the payroll log which in turn she will process.

I am so happy for myself and I truly have worked hard, but I feel almost sneaky for not telling her since she will be processing the information. Under normal circumstances I don't believe in discussing salary info ever, but since she will be seeing it and processing it, I feel even weirder NOT saying anything.... HELP ME!

posted by Girl from Ipanema to Work & Money (15 answers total)

She is an HR professional, any issues she has with it are her personal issue or are between her and her manager. Don't bring it up.
posted by jferg at 5:34 PM on December 27, 2015 [33 favorites]

At my SUNY campus, everyone's salaries are published in the union newsletter once per year. Thanks to salary compression, situations such as yours occasionally arise. Nobody discusses it (except, perhaps, with the dean), which would appear to be a good course in your situation as well.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:37 PM on December 27, 2015

The issue is not with you. If coworker does not like it, she will (should) ask her boss for a raise, not make hay with you.

If it were me, when I gave over the spreadsheet for processing, I would mention it and say how surprised and happy you are. Transparency goes a long way.
posted by AugustWest at 5:44 PM on December 27, 2015 [5 favorites]

This is about her, not you. process as usual and say nothing. She'll probably bitch about it behind your back, but that's nothing to do with you.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:50 PM on December 27, 2015 [4 favorites]

You could also look at it as you were being underpaid by 17% before which is closer to reality than you acknowledge. Your pay increase while partially merit based was also likely driven by duties and the end of your 6 month probationary terms.
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:04 PM on December 27, 2015 [9 favorites]

I'm assuming that the only reason you know her exact salary is because it is a part of your job. You need to separate that from your social relationship with her as a co-worker. If you didn't know, would you say anything? Do you feel any pull to say anything to lady #2? Step 1 is that you need to act as if you have no idea what her salary is.

Step 2 is to think about what you would say to co-worker who wasn't going to see your raise, especially one that is grumpy about her own pay. Would you mention casually that you had your review and you are happy with the results or would you not talk about it? Either one is OK depending on the nature of the relationship but I don't think you want to say more here than you would there.

Step 3 is to think about her response. Are you going to be all happy about that raise? Would she be happy for you? (i think maybe not based on the question) Are you going to apologize for getting the raise and she didn't? That's just awkward. It's not like you feel so bad for her that you aren't going to take the raise. Either it sets of a tirade of unhappiness or it forces her to pretend it is Ok even if it isn't.

Bottom line - if you say anything, don't say anything more than you would say to someone else who wasn't in HR but seriously think about not saying anything at all.

ps. Congratulations on the raise. Sounds like you have done a truly fantastic job in coming up to speed in this field.
posted by metahawk at 6:05 PM on December 27, 2015

I'm not trying to be excessively jerky here but I think this IS your issue. This is entirely self-imposed guilt. You are not giving her credit for being an adult capable of taking responsibility for herself and her financial situation. So what if she isn't happy with her salary? That is not your problem to solve. And do you really think it's going to make her feel better if you say, "oh, sorry, I got an awesome raise. I feel bad that you aren't paid more." I don't want to talk with my coworkers about salary. I'd feel pretty patronized if any of them were feeling sorry for me because of my salary. You say you like these women so treat them both with the respect they deserve.
posted by Beti at 6:54 PM on December 27, 2015 [3 favorites]

I wouldn't say anything, that could be perceived as rubbing it in her face. Rather if she says something, just say - "I don't know, you should ask x manager." and "Whoa, you've been here 10 years and are making the same as me? That's no ok! Go talk to x manager right away!" I don't think she is allowed to bring up your pay and if she does that is an HR/management issue. There may even be policies are your work about discussing pay.

Also, are you sure you weren't being wildly underpaid before?
posted by Toddles at 7:20 PM on December 27, 2015

How another employee is managing their career, salary, or promotions is their business. If they're unhappy, they need to work on a plan with their manager, not you. It would be very inappropriate and unprofessional for your coworker to direct comments or complaints to you. This is especially true due to the sensitive and private information you handle as part of your job responsibilities. Shut it down if it happens.

You are clearly doing well and impressing your bosses, keep it up. Congrats!
posted by quince at 7:54 PM on December 27, 2015

No need to say a thing. Seriously. Don't open that door.
posted by TenaciousB at 7:59 PM on December 27, 2015 [2 favorites]

Congrats on your raise!

So, this isn't your problem. If your coworkers have an issue with their pay, they can take it up with their manager. You don't control their salary. If they ask, tell them to take it up with their manager. End of story.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 8:02 PM on December 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

With my new increase, I will be making exactly the same as one of the payroll ladies who has been here for 10 years. We have gotten pretty close and I know how unhappy she is with her wage. I did not tell anyone about my review or increase, but guess what? Of course it will be input into the system and on the payroll log which in turn she will process.

She's been there ten years, she knows how this goes down and what professional behavior in HR requires. Moreover, if she feels underpaid, it doesn't mean she has to feel that you're overpaid.

But if you want to alleviate some of the guilt, when there's a good moment, invite your coworkers out to lunch somewhere nice on you, to celebrate. A small investment in office relationships, if you will.
posted by pwnguin at 9:06 PM on December 27, 2015

I'm trying to figure out what outcome you're trying to achieve here, and I don't see any outcome that is improved by you trying to address this directly with your coworkers. As other people have already mentioned, if they are unsatisfied with their pay, they need to take that up with their boss, who has the power to give them a raise, and not with you, who has no such power. If they are reasonable people, they aren't going to begrudge you getting the raise. At the very least, you won't be seen as the source of the issue, as you don't have the power to grant yourself the raise.

So, count this as another vote to not even bring it up and just continue with business as usual.
posted by Aleyn at 10:27 PM on December 27, 2015

Say nothing. Bring in baked goods for all. Win/win.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:57 PM on December 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

I would say nothing.

I would also like to remind you that since you all see the salaries for everyone, I'm sure someone doing a similar job (perhaps in another department) that has been there for less time may also make more or the same as her and you. I think this wouldn't even cross your mind if you weren't in a department where payroll is part of your job.

You just happen to KNOW that you make more because you're in the department. As payroll employees you should be professional about this. Do not mention you know her salary. If she mentions anything about that I would find it very unprofessional on her part as well. Part of your job is privacy of this information - not to be brought up by people who see it unless it's brought up by the employee - whose salary it is - first.
posted by Crystalinne at 2:09 AM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]