Beyond phone tag
December 9, 2015 2:57 PM Subscribe
How do I, a slacker who has ADHD and talks on the phone only reluctantly, find a therapist and make an appointment? I'm having a lot of trouble with this!
I would like to talk to a therapist, but I'm having a really hard time making an appointment.
Here's my process. I look in the provider directory for my insurance and find a suitable provider, or find one in the Psychology Today directory suggested by the Mefi wiki. I call them or write an email. They call me back and leave a message. I call them back, and then nothing. Or they're not taking new patients. I've been through this cycle three times in the last couple of months and at least a couple more times in previous years, with nothing to show for it.
All of this is kinda hard for me. The thought of talking to a therapist makes me anxious as hell, so it takes a lot for me to work up the nerve to call in the first place.
I don't have trouble doing normal things like booking airline tickets, or making an appointment with a regular doctor. For my general practitioner, I just call up and make an appointment and we're all set. No problem.
Is there some way I can just fill out a web form? Arrange an appointment through email? Just make a single phone call and setup an appointment?
What do you suggest? I'm in Portland, OR.
I would like to talk to a therapist, but I'm having a really hard time making an appointment.
Here's my process. I look in the provider directory for my insurance and find a suitable provider, or find one in the Psychology Today directory suggested by the Mefi wiki. I call them or write an email. They call me back and leave a message. I call them back, and then nothing. Or they're not taking new patients. I've been through this cycle three times in the last couple of months and at least a couple more times in previous years, with nothing to show for it.
All of this is kinda hard for me. The thought of talking to a therapist makes me anxious as hell, so it takes a lot for me to work up the nerve to call in the first place.
I don't have trouble doing normal things like booking airline tickets, or making an appointment with a regular doctor. For my general practitioner, I just call up and make an appointment and we're all set. No problem.
Is there some way I can just fill out a web form? Arrange an appointment through email? Just make a single phone call and setup an appointment?
What do you suggest? I'm in Portland, OR.
Call at night, like 9pm when no one is in their office or answering business calls, and leave a message. Write yourself a script and read it word for word. It should contain:
-your name
-your phone number
-your new patient status
-what insurance carrier you have
-a broad set of times/days of availability
-your phone number repeated
Call at least five providers. You should be able to check on your health insurance's website and/or their Psychology Today profiles if they're accepting new patients. May be out of date but it's better than nothing. Obviously, leave messages for providers who are accepting new patients.
Wait for them to contact you, and let them leave messages if that's what you feel most comfortable with. Call back only the ones who are able to make an appointment. Have a script handy to keep you on track when you call back.
I hate making phone calls (I've gotten much better at it over the years, but for a while I was like you) and the keys for me are: following scripts, avoiding having to talk to a live person, and having a pencil ready to take notes in case I panic/forget what I'm talking about so I can stay on track.
posted by phunniemee at 3:08 PM on December 9, 2015 [11 favorites]
-your name
-your phone number
-your new patient status
-what insurance carrier you have
-a broad set of times/days of availability
-your phone number repeated
Call at least five providers. You should be able to check on your health insurance's website and/or their Psychology Today profiles if they're accepting new patients. May be out of date but it's better than nothing. Obviously, leave messages for providers who are accepting new patients.
Wait for them to contact you, and let them leave messages if that's what you feel most comfortable with. Call back only the ones who are able to make an appointment. Have a script handy to keep you on track when you call back.
I hate making phone calls (I've gotten much better at it over the years, but for a while I was like you) and the keys for me are: following scripts, avoiding having to talk to a live person, and having a pencil ready to take notes in case I panic/forget what I'm talking about so I can stay on track.
posted by phunniemee at 3:08 PM on December 9, 2015 [11 favorites]
You might try Pacific University's Psychology & Comprehensive Health Clinic. They have student therapists and should be able to schedule you right away (with one phone call). There isn't a way to do it online that I can see, but the number is 503-352-7333 and the website is: http://www.pacificu.edu/our-resources/clinics/pacific-psychology-comprehensive-health-clinic
For full disclosure: I am a psychologist who trained at this school and worked at the clinic for a few years. It is well supervised; you will get good care here.
posted by Giailh at 3:08 PM on December 9, 2015
For full disclosure: I am a psychologist who trained at this school and worked at the clinic for a few years. It is well supervised; you will get good care here.
posted by Giailh at 3:08 PM on December 9, 2015
I have this exact problem and couldn't get anywhere with the random call I'd make every 6 months. So I got a referral from my primary care physician, who works in one of those clinics that has everything. Then I just had to call the mental health department and make an intake appointment, which was with a psychiatrist because I was on meds already. That doctor was able to suggest a few therapists in the practice who she felt would be a good fit for me and my issues. I've only had one session with the therapist but I thought it went well and I feel very comfortable that I could try another one on the list if I wanted to.
By taking it in stages and working with my doctor, it made it a little bit like "oh just another medical thing like when I have to get my blood tested" and a little bit easier to deal with. But it still took me awhile to make the call. Once I did, though, I was set.
If your insurance doesn't require a referral, you could skip the doctor and call the mental health department of any large health provider covered by your plan and do the same. One number to call, and the folks on the phone will help you, it's their job.
posted by cabingirl at 3:37 PM on December 9, 2015
By taking it in stages and working with my doctor, it made it a little bit like "oh just another medical thing like when I have to get my blood tested" and a little bit easier to deal with. But it still took me awhile to make the call. Once I did, though, I was set.
If your insurance doesn't require a referral, you could skip the doctor and call the mental health department of any large health provider covered by your plan and do the same. One number to call, and the folks on the phone will help you, it's their job.
posted by cabingirl at 3:37 PM on December 9, 2015
Do you have a family member or close friend who can help you with this? I also have lots of anxiety about therapy, and last month I said to my mom, "I need you to find me a therapist and make me an appointment." She knew I needed help, knew I was not feeling well enough to do the emotional slog of finding a therapist, and was able to do it for me. I would do this for a friend or family member also. Sometimes it's hard to remember that we can and should ask for help. Hope you're feeling better soon.
posted by tatiana wishbone at 3:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by tatiana wishbone at 3:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]
Do you have someone that can make the call for you or with you?
I have a lot of problem with this, and sometimes my husband or mom will either call on my behalf or just do the actual dialing part. Sometimes they can outright make an appt. for me by saying something like, "Hi, I'm calling to make an appt on behalf of barchan." If they get questioned they will explain that I'm anxious to talk on the phone, or can say, she's sitting right here and will give permission. Or they'll wait for a person, say, "Hold please" and hand the phone to me. I'll have a script I can refer to if need be.
There are lots of situations that calling on my own is good for me. Calling a doctor when I'm already anxious is not one of them.
posted by barchan at 3:46 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
I have a lot of problem with this, and sometimes my husband or mom will either call on my behalf or just do the actual dialing part. Sometimes they can outright make an appt. for me by saying something like, "Hi, I'm calling to make an appt on behalf of barchan." If they get questioned they will explain that I'm anxious to talk on the phone, or can say, she's sitting right here and will give permission. Or they'll wait for a person, say, "Hold please" and hand the phone to me. I'll have a script I can refer to if need be.
There are lots of situations that calling on my own is good for me. Calling a doctor when I'm already anxious is not one of them.
posted by barchan at 3:46 PM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]
I just made a similar call for my sister recently who is helping me with something else because yes, ADHD nightmare. So Nthing asking for help if the other excellent advice doesn't work for you.
posted by Bella Donna at 4:35 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Bella Donna at 4:35 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
I had this very problem and just ended up ruling out all therapists who won't use email to communicate. It was fantastic. Tons of therapists are willing to set up an initial appointment through email or forms on their websites, especially if you mention that calling them makes you anxious. The Psychology Today "find a therapist" thing sometimes has a feature that allows you to email therapists directly.
posted by corey flood at 5:28 PM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by corey flood at 5:28 PM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]
Nthing that your PCP may be able to arrange this, and also that a family member or friend can do it too.
If you use a friend, make sure they have your name, contact info, and a copy of the front and back of your insurance card before they start the process - some providers want this when you make an appointment and I've given up on predicting who it will be.
Remember to give your provider a release to communicate with your designated loved one, BTW, so they can help with future stuff. The alternative is for them to pretend to be you on the phone, which reduces the number of potential helpers you can use.
posted by SMPA at 5:33 PM on December 9, 2015
If you use a friend, make sure they have your name, contact info, and a copy of the front and back of your insurance card before they start the process - some providers want this when you make an appointment and I've given up on predicting who it will be.
Remember to give your provider a release to communicate with your designated loved one, BTW, so they can help with future stuff. The alternative is for them to pretend to be you on the phone, which reduces the number of potential helpers you can use.
posted by SMPA at 5:33 PM on December 9, 2015
Yes, try emailing the therapist. Or memail me the contact info and I'll make some calls for you & ask them to follow-up with you via email.
posted by areaperson at 6:14 PM on December 9, 2015
posted by areaperson at 6:14 PM on December 9, 2015
It sounds like you're contacting one at a time. Contact about five at a time. If more than one get back to you, make an initial visit with all of them and see who you like better.
Emailing is the easiest method in my experience.
posted by bunderful at 6:58 PM on December 9, 2015
Emailing is the easiest method in my experience.
posted by bunderful at 6:58 PM on December 9, 2015
does your employer offer an employee assistance program (eap)?
i think many large companies offer these services in house and others contract them out - they should be able to take your insurance info and availability and connect you with a therapist or counselor for what you are looking for.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:28 PM on December 9, 2015
i think many large companies offer these services in house and others contract them out - they should be able to take your insurance info and availability and connect you with a therapist or counselor for what you are looking for.
posted by Exceptional_Hubris at 8:28 PM on December 9, 2015
This site lets you reach out to and correspond with therapists in writing: https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/
posted by phreckles at 9:07 PM on December 9, 2015
posted by phreckles at 9:07 PM on December 9, 2015
Have you ever tried ZocDoc? It's an online service that lets you book appointments with all kinds of healthcare providers, including physicians and dentists. I did a quick search for Portland and it looks like there is one psychiatrist who does online appointments (and has lots of great reviews and mentions ADHD as a special interest!)
ZocDoc helped me get set up with providers when I lived in a city that had pretty good participation on the site. Sadly my current city doesn't, or I would totally still use the service!
posted by charmcityblues at 9:33 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
ZocDoc helped me get set up with providers when I lived in a city that had pretty good participation on the site. Sadly my current city doesn't, or I would totally still use the service!
posted by charmcityblues at 9:33 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]
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From their site: posted by Michele in California at 3:03 PM on December 9, 2015