Should our baby be doing more?

November 28, 2015 7:20 AM

I'm really hoping I'm just worrying for nothing. We have a ten month old baby girl. She is a very heavy baby. Compared to her little playmates, she doesn't seem anywhere near as developed.

Our little girl M is heavy for her age as she absolutely loves to breastfeed plus genetics, I guess. I have heard that there is a pattern for heavier babies to be slower to physically move. M is happy to roll over (but she was late in doing so) and she is very strong on all fours in that she can sort of do "baby press ups". She has been sort of shuffling backwards for over a month and seems to JUST be getting the hang of going forwards. But I wouldn't say it's something that's now instantly clicked and she's on the move... She can move from one side of a room to another but it can seemingly almost be a combination of moving sideways and backwards. I'm aware I'm rambling so I'll attempt to cut this short.

Basically other babies quite a bit younger than our M are now pulling themselves up and standing, M seems a million miles away from that.

She will happy babble and grunt and squeal, she seems to be able to say "Mamama" and "Dadadada". She's very loving of those she knows and likes and reserved and cautious with those she doesn't know.

I don't know if it's relevant but M was quite ill over the summer with endless colds and an ear infection which wouldn't resolve itself - is it possible that's caused a bit of a delay in her development?

Again, I don't know if this is relevant, but when we had to give her some vile medicine for her ear infection she very quickly caught on that the medicine was horrible and kept her lips sealed when she saw the bottle it came in!

Basically I would really like to know that whatever the reason she's (seems to be) a bit behind her peers it isn't anything that she won't catch up with later on. If there's any information I've omitted that would be useful please ask!

Thank you

posted by dance to Health & Fitness (28 answers total)

I don't think anyone can tell you that definitively, one way or the other. Have you spoken with your daughter's doctor about your concerns? That's where I'd start.

All babies are different. The milestones you read about online are averages. Babies tend to catch up with each other eventually. Sometimes there is cause for concern - my friend's son still wasn't showing any interest in walking or even in much crawling (he was a butt scooter) by eighteen months, and when she saw their doctor it turned out he needed some occupational therapy to get his muscles working so he could walk. He turned two last week and he's running around crazy now. My brother didn't talk till he was 2, the doctor told my parents to "just be patient", and darling little brother hasn't shut up since (he's 28 now). Even if there is something "wrong" right now, there's no reason she won't be perfectly on track with all her milestones in six months or a year. But no one on the internet can tell you that -- see your doctor!
posted by olinerd at 7:26 AM on November 28, 2015 [12 favorites]

Have you discussed your concerns with a pediatrician? They typically have some metrics which they gauge development against. Things like grasping, fine motor skills, movement, eye tracking, language development, etc.. I'm not hearing anything that puts her outside of the curve. I had a wonderful cohort of moms and babies which were born within a month of each other. My daughter was slower to crawl (than some) and quicker to walk (oh, the head injuries and crashes!). The boy closest in age to her didn't bother to walk until at least six months later. His parents were really concerned. But that is in the range of normal and there appears to have been no "reason" for it. And when he did walk, he did it so much more adeptly than my daughter - way better muscle coordination and control/judgement.

Talk to your doc. Mama does know best and when you have concerns like this it is best to get an opinion. Ask for things that you can do to encourage movement and growth. I'm sure your pediatrician will have good suggestions.
posted by amanda at 7:28 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

Here's a good (and reassuring!) answer about later crawling.

I don't think any of us can evaluate whether your little girl is on track & I think it's worth asking your pediatrician for their thoughts, but nothing you describe sounds outside the realm of normal to me.
posted by insectosaurus at 7:42 AM on November 28, 2015

Wow I would say your little one is right on track. Kind of using mama/dada is great. Rolling over and kind crawling is fine. Her development sounds really similar to my sons at that age (my sons has a medical condition that typically causes delays but he got kicked out of early intervention for having none). Some kids are just quick developers and it's easy to get concerned when you see that one ten month old that walks. Most kids don't walk until later. Your child is developing great from your description. Your kid doesn't need to be in among the earliest walkers/walkers to be developing normally. Your kid has a good six months to be getting to walk and still be well within normal. Same with saying five words. And tons of kids don't walk/talk until even later and are just fine. Of course tell your doctor your concerns at your next check up. But your kid sounds TOTALLY normal. My concern level would be absolutely zero if I were you (and I'm a worrier).
posted by Kalmya at 7:47 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

This is definitely ask the doctor territory. In general, if you have developmental concerns, it's not a great practice to ask the internet, even the awesome geniuses here.
posted by kinetic at 7:57 AM on November 28, 2015 [11 favorites]

My niece never crawled, she just scooched. She grew up to be an amazing athlete and dancer. Ask your doctor and don't worry.
posted by mareli at 8:06 AM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]

My son was a chunky baby too. At his six month wellness checkup, there was one particular milestone he hadn't quite reached, I think it was something along the lines of still being unable to pull himself up in his crib. His dr wasn't worried because she said that sometimes bigger babies took a little longer with some of these physical activities. But she did ask me to bring him in at 9 months (she never said so but I got the feeling that she wanted to keep an eye on things just in case, which I appreciated) . By then he had caught up. This is all to say, definitely check in with your pediatrician, s/he will be well equipped to guide you on this. But I wouldn't be surprised if as a bigger baby she just needs a bit more time to build those muscles!
posted by DrGirlfriend at 8:30 AM on November 28, 2015

I had a giant kid (30 pound 12 month old, tall too) who was slower than his peers on some milestones. His pediatrician had it on her "go to early intervention if it doesn't improve by the next appointment" list. In our case he was/is just lower on the developmental curve, and has stayed on that curve without intervention for years now.

Based on friends whose children have needed early intervention, though, it sounds like waiting for the next appointment before bringing up your concerns is reasonable. From your description she is moving, crossing midline, interacting with her world, progressing as time goes on, and happy with her own skills. No major red flags in my non medical opinion.
posted by tchemgrrl at 8:38 AM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]

My son was crawling backwards but not forwards at that age, too. He crawled forwards at 11 months and eventually walked at 19 months. He is just physically cautious and there is nothing wrong with his development. As others have said, there is a wide range of normal.

That said, none of us here can assess your daughter's development, so it might be a good idea to ask your paediatrician (or health visitor if you're in the UK) if you're worried. Even if there's nothing wrong, it never hurts to ask.
posted by altolinguistic at 8:40 AM on November 28, 2015

My daughter never crawled - she scooted, and then was a very late walker (two years old). We did do PT but no one was ever super concerned about her gross motor development - we expected some delays since she was a micropreemie, but even so, everyone seemed to feel that she was on her own timeline, which just happened to be different than standard. Her fine motor and language skills were and are off the charts ahead of her age - she was focused on those things instead of gross motor. Is your daughter showing signs of that?

On the other hand, my son is 11.75 months, and he's only been crawling in earnest for three or four weeks, and pulling to stand for about as long. He's within the range of normal, even though it seemed a little late to me compared to other typical kids his age. And it definitely was not an "instant click" kind of skill. He swam around for a long time, and pushed backwards for a long time, and then could take two crawling steps before collapsing and then could take four crawling steps before collapsing and now can cruise but hasn't even attempted to stand independently....I could go on, but my point is that it's a long slow process for some kids, and that's totally fine.

Obviously, ask your pediatrician, who likely won't be concerned unless she's still not crawling at all after her 1-year well child check. If you are in the US, early intervention is free for both evaluations and services, and might set your mind at ease if your pediatrician wants to wait and see. But what you describe does not seem super concerning to me. Babies are all different and yours sounds great.: :)
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 9:03 AM on November 28, 2015

I like Mama OT's developmental milestones guide because thus far it's seemed to give reasonable averages rather than the earliest possible date baby might do something. In that context, it sounds like your baby might be a touch behind average but certainly not massively delayed. And, as she says, speaking as an occupational therapist, "Please remember there is a range of 'average' and every baby is different and follows their own developmental timeline. I try to remind parents that the most important thing is that their child is making progress. Don't get too caught up in whether your little one's development lines up EXACTLY with a developmental chart or else you will worry yourself sick!" The site does also offer specific tips about how to encourage a trick your baby has almost grasped, which I've found very helpful for earlier milestones.

Sorry if I sound like an infomercial. Her site has just been really helpful for me and I feel bad that you're so worried and know that a pediatrician check-up will probably take longer to arrange than you're happy to wait.)
posted by teremala at 9:29 AM on November 28, 2015 [7 favorites]

My older child, who was also quite big (25 lbs on her first birthday), didn't walk until 14 months. She was a pretty passive baby, and was happy just to hang out. I think also because she was the first child, and had few baby friends, she didn't see the need to walk. Once she started walking, she totally slimmed out, and was 25 lbs on her second birthday. She is now almost 18 and totally fine, no walking or weight issues. I would put a call into the pediatrician if you want a real opinion, but in hindsight, I was way more worried about my first then my second. I think it's totally normal.
My second daughter was much smaller in size, both height and weight, and watched her sister like a hawk from birth, and was walking at 10 months.
posted by momochan at 9:30 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I had a chunky, milk-loving baby who was basically immobile at 10 months. At 11 months there was a huge developmental leap which led straight to walking (without crawling in between), which she was doing by 13 months. From talking to others it seems that baby development is often rather non-linear in that way.
posted by gnimmel at 10:07 AM on November 28, 2015

My son was 10 lbs. at birth and gained steadily on breastmilk. He was a big, plump baby and toddler. His doctor would say I should call him overweight, but he looks perfectly healthy. He was slow to roll over, crawl, walk. We eat healthy foods, and he had very little sugar or junk food as a toddler and pre-schooler. He's now 27, average height, healthy weight, loves vegetables, is physically active. Your baby sounds bright and happy, and I would say to not worry at all.
posted by theora55 at 10:23 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

I remember being at a playgroup with my first and there was this teeny tiny little boy and he could do so much! He was crawling and rolling around and reaching for everything and my kid who was bigger and older was just sitting there. Within a week my son was doing all of that and started crawling and standing up.

As long as your doctor's not concerned you're fine.
posted by betsybetsy at 10:23 AM on November 28, 2015

There is a huge range of normal. Babies can walk anywhere from 8 months to 18 months and still be totally fine! By all means talk to your pediatrician but don't compare to other babies.
posted by yarly at 10:37 AM on November 28, 2015

To help her crawl- put an interesting new thing just out of her forward reach. Only by a couple inches or so. She'll eventually lurch to it.

To help her talk- sit calmly and blow one soap bubble. When it pops, big smile and say POP! Repeat. No other sounds, no other words, just POP! She'll probably copy.

And try having her hang out with older babies and toddlers. Let her watch them, don't intervene too much. She'll probably copy.
posted by pseudostrabismus at 11:33 AM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

Our oldest son was never very physical when a baby. He rolled over once when he was about 3mo, typical age if I remember, then never did it again while I was looking (it felt like he was sort of consciously checking off the milestone, then never doing it again because why bother?). He never crawled either; he just skipped the stage and went straight to walking at about 12-13mo. Second son was vastly more physical, crawling early and walking at 10mo. Both of them turned out fine and equally physically capable.

There is considerable range in this sort of stuff and other parents can sometimes get very competitive about it, leaving you with the nagging feeling that your child is not quite keeping up. As long as the professionals are happy with your daughter’s progress and you are not seeing other problems, especially as from your description she seems bright, alert and engaged, just don’t fret. I don’t think that she really is behind her peers, and she will almost certainly "catch up” (not that she’s actually behind) soon. There will always be individual variation in things like physical aptitude, but I don’t think anyone can tell anything very much about that by exactly how early their kid crawls stands up, etc.
posted by Quinbus Flestrin at 11:43 AM on November 28, 2015

Certainly talk to your doctor, but in the meantime know that there is a huge range of "normal" development in children. My husband wasn't crawling at a year, didn't walk until he was two, and didn't speak in more than grunts until he was nearly three. A few years later, he was the star of his elementary school basketball team, went on to play varsity sports, took college courses in middle school, and attended and succeeded at top tier university and graduate schools.

One of our daughters had similar delays and at 5 has met or exceeded all developmental milestones.
posted by dumbasamuppet at 1:34 PM on November 28, 2015

We drove ourselves damn near insane trying to make sure the girls were progressing appropriately. We had 4 kids in our family who were less than two years apart. The thing is you when you are making comparisons you're using a very small sample. When your pediatrician makes comparisons he's doing it against a huge sample. Even knowing that comparisons against small samples are pure crazy-making, we do it. I now have 6 nieces and nephews within 18 months of age - and everyone compares who's speaking/walking.

It sounds as though your child is well within the range. Also, progression isn't linear and some kids make huge leaps. My nephew was very late and slow in speaking. Then he went from saying just a few words to speaking in clear sentences in just a matter of weeks.
posted by 26.2 at 1:53 PM on November 28, 2015

I'll add to the pile of moms with beefcake breastfed babies saying she sounds about right to me. Mine didn't crawl until his 11 month birthday and didn't take his first unsupported step until 13 month birthday. He is cautious by nature and I am sure the extra chub slowed him down compared to some of the skinnier babies, but over a year later and he's a running, climbing machine and has thinned out considerably (while still being solid and heavy).

Every baby is different and I know how it can be hard to see similar aged babies doing different things compared to your baby. If there is no concern from the pediatrician, I don't think you need to be concerned either.

A friend's daughter is the smartest kid I've met and she refused to walk until she was 19 months old. She just didn't even want to try until she knew she could excel at it. At times I had thought my kid was behind because he was in daycare (and I knew of babies not in daycare who walked by 8 months) but this little girl was cared for only by her parents the first three years of her life. I think my concern was just my parental guilt talking, similar to your concern with the ear infection medicine. (Was she about 6 months old then? That was the worst, giving medicine orally to my breastfed baby who refused anything but boob or boob milk. It felt like baby torture. Ugh.)
posted by jillithd at 2:11 PM on November 28, 2015

My son was was big at birth (especially considering my wife's slender build) and was an outright fat baby. He spent quite some time only able to to crawl / scoot backward, and a very brief window of forward crawling before he walked. He was of average build by the time he was two. Is now a standard 13 year old -- 5'7" beanpole.
posted by MattD at 3:05 PM on November 28, 2015

My baby wound up having a great number of developmental delays (many of which he got back on track with quickly with lots of physical therapy and occupational therapy), so I am quick to recommend both firstsigns.org and a free evaluation by Early Intervention (free in every state in the U.S. for children 0-3 years old). You don't need a referral or recommendation from your pediatrician, you can just call any local EI agency near you. At worst, you'll get some early help (and the earlier the better), and at best, they'll put your mind at ease..! Good luck...
posted by lgandme0717 at 3:09 PM on November 28, 2015

I had a very heavy breastfed baby (95th percentile weight, but only 25th percentile height) who is now a mildly chunky toddler. I felt a little extra self-conscious about her immobility because we know a lot of kids who were early walkers and were literally running circles around her by 9 months old. She rolled late. She crawled late (9 months). She didn't walk until she was 15 months old. Now at 22.5 months, she's running, jumping, climbing, dancing and pretty much indistinguishable from her peers.

My pediatrician assured me this was normal for fat breastfed babies.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 3:52 PM on November 28, 2015

Hi, I am like a walking comparative developmental milestone anecdata person. I have two sons. My first son was very tiny, 5lbs 10oz at full term. He was early on all his physical milestones (the pediatrician suggested this would be the case) because the less you weigh, the easier it is to haul yourself around. Also, he is by nature a pleaser. He walked pretty much on his first birthday, was cruising around 8 months? My memory is fuzzy.

My second son weighed 8lbs 1oz full term, and is the stubbornest creature known to man, and is very definitely NOT a pleaser. Its his way or the highway, and has been since birth. So son #2 was late on every single physical milestone, and had physical therapy for almost everything. I can clearly remember going to the 15 month checkup and being worried because he still wasn't walking. The pediatrician said he didn't like that he wasn't walking yet, but it was OK as long as he was walking by the 18 month checkup. A couple of weeks before the 18 month checkup I was absolutely *&$%ing myself because he still wasn't walking, and he finally deided to walk literally a week before the 18 month checkup.

So the point of my delightfully tedious reminiscence is that some babies are like "F you, I will walk when I'm ready". Ask your pediatrician, and judge for yourself, based on your ped's apparent level of risk-aversion, whether you should be worried or not. My ped is super risk averse and I tend to hand wave his concerns away a bit, and it all turns out ok at the last moment. But every baby is different, so definitely ask at the next appointment, and ask at what point your ped will be concerned, and what they will recommend you do. They will likely have exercises for you to try to encourage cruising.
posted by Joh at 6:06 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

My first, big, bf, never rolled over till a year!!! Never ever crawled, was actually talking and telling me to get her toys for her before she walked at about 18 months. "Get it mama" and she would point to what she wanted. Now, she is 15, six feet tall, gorgeous and a gifted oboist, can walk perfectly well but "get it mama" is still her favorite phrase. I think your little one is fine but talk to your dr. I drove my poor pediatrician crazy with baby number one. 😊
posted by pearlybob at 11:52 PM on November 28, 2015

Hey, I'll answer from the other side of things! My son, now 5, has/had notable motor delays -- serious enough to get him into occupational therapy before he was a year old, serious enough to qualify him for the developmental preschool in our school district. We were referred to therapy when he was 10 months old, just the same as your kiddo. He was NOT big -- not at all; at that age he weighed 16.5 pounds.

At ten months, my son:

* Could not sit up straight for any period of time. In all his "sitting" pictures, he is either holding himself up with his arms, or else bent over so that his chest nearly touches his knees.
* Could not hold his head up securely. We have a video of him at that age in which his head is wobbling around like a bowling ball held up with a hot dog.
* Could not cross midline. This was the scariest of all to me; he could pass objects from hand to hand AT midline, but he could not reach one hand across the plane of his face.
* Was evaluated on a Bayley developmental test and found to be substantially behind; I believe he tested at a level appropriate to a 4 month old.
* Could not stand, supported or un.
* Could not crawl -- not even army crawl.

With twice-weekly therapy and enormous supportive effort on my part, he learned to crawl at the age of 14 months and walk at 19.5 months. His walking took a VERY long time to be secure; he fell down two or three dozen times a day until he was nearly four, possibly older. At the age of three, he could not walk down stairs, use a spoon, or make a deliberate mark on paper with a writing instrument. At the age of four, he could not reliably dress himself or use the toilet. He could not stand on one leg, he could not hop, he could not do jumping jacks. He could not sit up from a lying-down position without rolling over to one side, even pushing himself up with his arms.

He just turned five a couple weeks ago, and has hit every motor goal on his IEP and is about to be evaluated to discontinue PT/OT; he's also hit every academic skill required for the pre-kindergarten assessment, and his teacher says that frankly he's ahead of the middle of the bell curve for a full kindergarten class this year. He can ride a balance bike, brachiate across the monkey bars, and walk on a balance beam. He can hop across the room. He can "follow the leader" and copy another person's movements. He can write his name. It's about 50/50 whether he'll even go into kindergarten on an IEP at all.

So, that's what a kid who is motor-delayed looks like, or any way one kind of motor delay. There's nothing "wrong" with my son; he doesn't have a disease or defect that's underlying his delays, he's just on the long tail of the bell curve. (Well, OK, he has notably poor muscle tone, and he may have a sensory processing disorder in his proprioceptive sense. But he doesn't have muscular dystrophy or a brain abnormality or anything like that.) Early intervention changed his life and ours, and if you're concerned, there is zero harm to be done in asking for an EI evaluation except the time it takes to perform it and to talk your insurance company into paying for it. If you want to see the photos and videos of my son from when he was that age, memail me and I'd be happy to share them.
posted by KathrynT at 11:55 PM on November 28, 2015 [5 favorites]

One of my mum's friend's kids didn't walk until 22 months.

Turned out to be very smart and was offered a Rhodes Scholarship.
posted by sien at 3:21 AM on November 29, 2015