I'm just a pregnant dirtbag, baby.
November 26, 2015 12:45 AM Subscribe
As a Colorado resident, what legal/custodial consequences may I face after brief, light usage of marijuana for management of extreme pain from approximately 20-21 weeks gestation? Please be honest but gentle if you can...
My son is due at at the end of March. Without giving too much identifying detail, I'll say that he has been long-awaited and long fought for in the wake of multiple previous losses, both early and late. I have been so, so careful to do Everything Exactly Right throughout my pregnancy journeys and I never thought I'd find myself in this position. Yet here we are.
Around 18 weeks, I began experiencing mild carpal tunnel symptoms. Over the course of the next two weeks, things went downhill faster than I thought possible. Despite trying every resource I had available to fix the issue (going out on temporary disability from work, taking as much Tylenol as my OB/GYN would allow, undergoing physical therapy and acupuncture, wearing wrist braces, icing constantly, and finally going to the ER where I was X-rayed and given a prescription for Percocet) this pain Would. Not. Stop. My tolerance is very high, like not needing pain medication after ankle surgery or during labor in a previous pregnancy high. But this pain, it was something that changed me --- it made me want to amputate my arms or kill myself or both. After not sleeping for five days, my husband and I decided with what was left of our sanity that I would smoke a very small amount (less than 1.5 grams spread over a week.) It may sound like it, but I am not exaggerating when I say that I think had I not done this, I might have suffered a heart attack or stroke from the stress, exhaustion, and fear this pain was causing me.
And it worked. It held me over until the next week when I finally got into an orthopedic surgeon for a localized steroid injection, which made the pain disappear like magic, never to return, and I stopped smoking immediately... at which point the "OMG what have I done" panic attacks began. I know that no matter how legal this is for adults in my state, it is absolutely not legal for pregnant women (nor do I think it should be until more conclusive research is done, though I strongly doubt I hurt my baby by what I did.) There may be some music for me to face when it's time to deliver.
Research so far has convinced me that blood/urine tests for either of us will be clear, but meconium or umbilical cord screens will not. I am giving birth at a Catholic hospital in Colorado Springs, and home birth/midwifery are not options for me as I am high risk. What seems to vary wildly from account to account I've uncovered is how to know if these more advanced tests will be done, and if they are, what will happen to us? A slap on the wrist? Drug screens and home visits? A criminal record and a long-standing CPS file? Temporary or even permanent loss of custody? If I did lose the baby, the only person in our family who would likely be allowed to take him would be my mother-in-law, who is a wealthy, upstanding citizen with an impressive image but also an evil, cruel person in her private and genuine self. She really messed up my husband and it horrifies me thinking my son will have the same fate, or (worse?) that he'll be adopted out to strangers and I'll never see him again.
The kind of people I really want to hear from are L&D nurses/physicians, CPS workers, family lawyers, and anyone who's experienced anything similar to this or has reliable secondhand info on the topic. I know the outcomes I am describing may sound like an anxiety spiral, but with a little googling you might be surprised what sort of insane things have happened to other families vis a vis custody issues with newborns. I am very reluctant to talk to my OB/GYN because admitting anything of this nature is the first step to scrutiny.
I hope I made some sense here and I really appreciate anyone who even read all this. Throwaway email: pregnantandpetrified@gmail.com
My son is due at at the end of March. Without giving too much identifying detail, I'll say that he has been long-awaited and long fought for in the wake of multiple previous losses, both early and late. I have been so, so careful to do Everything Exactly Right throughout my pregnancy journeys and I never thought I'd find myself in this position. Yet here we are.
Around 18 weeks, I began experiencing mild carpal tunnel symptoms. Over the course of the next two weeks, things went downhill faster than I thought possible. Despite trying every resource I had available to fix the issue (going out on temporary disability from work, taking as much Tylenol as my OB/GYN would allow, undergoing physical therapy and acupuncture, wearing wrist braces, icing constantly, and finally going to the ER where I was X-rayed and given a prescription for Percocet) this pain Would. Not. Stop. My tolerance is very high, like not needing pain medication after ankle surgery or during labor in a previous pregnancy high. But this pain, it was something that changed me --- it made me want to amputate my arms or kill myself or both. After not sleeping for five days, my husband and I decided with what was left of our sanity that I would smoke a very small amount (less than 1.5 grams spread over a week.) It may sound like it, but I am not exaggerating when I say that I think had I not done this, I might have suffered a heart attack or stroke from the stress, exhaustion, and fear this pain was causing me.
And it worked. It held me over until the next week when I finally got into an orthopedic surgeon for a localized steroid injection, which made the pain disappear like magic, never to return, and I stopped smoking immediately... at which point the "OMG what have I done" panic attacks began. I know that no matter how legal this is for adults in my state, it is absolutely not legal for pregnant women (nor do I think it should be until more conclusive research is done, though I strongly doubt I hurt my baby by what I did.) There may be some music for me to face when it's time to deliver.
Research so far has convinced me that blood/urine tests for either of us will be clear, but meconium or umbilical cord screens will not. I am giving birth at a Catholic hospital in Colorado Springs, and home birth/midwifery are not options for me as I am high risk. What seems to vary wildly from account to account I've uncovered is how to know if these more advanced tests will be done, and if they are, what will happen to us? A slap on the wrist? Drug screens and home visits? A criminal record and a long-standing CPS file? Temporary or even permanent loss of custody? If I did lose the baby, the only person in our family who would likely be allowed to take him would be my mother-in-law, who is a wealthy, upstanding citizen with an impressive image but also an evil, cruel person in her private and genuine self. She really messed up my husband and it horrifies me thinking my son will have the same fate, or (worse?) that he'll be adopted out to strangers and I'll never see him again.
The kind of people I really want to hear from are L&D nurses/physicians, CPS workers, family lawyers, and anyone who's experienced anything similar to this or has reliable secondhand info on the topic. I know the outcomes I am describing may sound like an anxiety spiral, but with a little googling you might be surprised what sort of insane things have happened to other families vis a vis custody issues with newborns. I am very reluctant to talk to my OB/GYN because admitting anything of this nature is the first step to scrutiny.
I hope I made some sense here and I really appreciate anyone who even read all this. Throwaway email: pregnantandpetrified@gmail.com
I don't recall having any drug testing done after I gave birth. You would have to sign consents, I believe, and I never did. I think best course of action would be to call the hospital and find out all of their routine testing. I doubt they'll ask your name even but if they do you just casually tell them you are concerned and need to be prepared for insurance claims.
posted by teamnap at 4:44 AM on November 26, 2015
posted by teamnap at 4:44 AM on November 26, 2015
They won't find out. And if they did, they probably wouldn't really care. And if they did care, they would be very unlikely to take your baby away... that is only done in cases of serious drug use in which babies are born addicted and their mothers are unable to care for them. It would be a massive and expensive legal problem for the state. If you are white and can pass as middle class, it's even less likely. You're all gonna be okay.
posted by metasarah at 4:49 AM on November 26, 2015 [21 favorites]
posted by metasarah at 4:49 AM on November 26, 2015 [21 favorites]
I really think you are going to be okay. Here is a list of indications for testing meconium and cord blood for prenatal exposure to drugs. I hope it helps to ease your mind.
posted by pintapicasso at 5:04 AM on November 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by pintapicasso at 5:04 AM on November 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
A friend's new grandbaby recently tested positive for THC in a state where marijuana use is illegal. The only reason the hospital did the drug screen (which did not require special consent) was because the baby was very small for its gestational age and exhibiting potential neurological issues. All that happened was that the hospital didn't let the mother, who also tested positive and admitted to recent use, breastfeed. The staff were kind of jerks to her and the family compared to how they'd treated me with a premature birth shortly before but there was no talk of protective custody or any legal consequences.
posted by teremala at 5:42 AM on November 26, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by teremala at 5:42 AM on November 26, 2015 [5 favorites]
My cousin drank and used recreational drugs at various points throughout her pregnancy, to the extent that she was at one point arrested for a DUI with possession. During her pregnancy. Along with the baby's dad. All very public. Granted, this was in Florida, not Colorado, but no one official cared once the baby was born. No one took her child away. When the baby was only a few days old, the house she was living in got raided by the cops because a roommate was selling drugs and had a bunch of guns. The cousin's fancy new bong got seized. But still no one took her baby.
I agree with the other posters here that you are going to be fine.
posted by phunniemee at 6:29 AM on November 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
I agree with the other posters here that you are going to be fine.
posted by phunniemee at 6:29 AM on November 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
All the pregnant moms on my urban academic labor floor got a urine drug screen. The UDS screens for marijuana use using the the metabolite THC-COOH at an OSHA-determined level of 50ng/mL, which is out of most folks' systems within a couple weeks if they're only casual users. We'd refer positive screens to social work, but DHS rarely got involved unless there was a more concerning picture. Colorado seems to be much the same based on the statutes cited here (pdf), with the bulk of the legal focus on opiates and folks operating labs.
posted by The White Hat at 7:33 AM on November 26, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by The White Hat at 7:33 AM on November 26, 2015 [5 favorites]
My sister is a labor and delivery nurse so I asked her. She said at her hospital (in GA) that if a baby tests positive on the heel prick it means that the smoking was within the last month typically and they give the mother a (gentle) talk on stress management and dealing with baby and some resources for help and otherwise let them go. It's so common that DSS doesn't want a referral unless it's for harder drugs. Georgia is an ultra conservative state so I don't imagine Colorado will be worse. Also, don't beat yourself up too much, that's a tiny amount of marijuana, I'm sure your baby is fine.
posted by julie_of_the_jungle at 8:31 AM on November 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by julie_of_the_jungle at 8:31 AM on November 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
In the hospital I work in, we generally only run drug tests (and particularly umbilical cord tests) if there are concerning issues, or if the baby is not a well-baby and is in the NICU and we're trying to figure out what's going on. They don't even always drug screen babies when the mother admits to smoking weed at some point in the pregnancy. Often what we want to know from the drug screen is if the baby is going to be born addicted to something and will be going through withdrawal. The only times I've seen DHS or law enforcement get involved was when there was serious drug addiction that indicated that the welfare of the child at home would be uncertain (usually these are meth cases, and they don't happen often).
So yeah, probably they won't even find out, and if they do I highly doubt they will care or really do anything. I work on a big NICU floor and a mother who smoked a little weed at week 20 would be the absolute least of anyone's worries.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:48 AM on November 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
So yeah, probably they won't even find out, and if they do I highly doubt they will care or really do anything. I work on a big NICU floor and a mother who smoked a little weed at week 20 would be the absolute least of anyone's worries.
posted by Lutoslawski at 8:48 AM on November 26, 2015 [6 favorites]
Not quite an answer, but maybe some reassurance. I hated the doctor I had with my first pregnancy, so I switched for the second. I was fully expecting her to cold-turkey me off all my meds (including Vicodin and psych meds), and off of cigarettes, none of which went so well the first time around. First pregnancy, I had a nervous breakdown because I was in stupid amounts of pain, with high anxiety, mood swings all over the map, you name it. OB visits consisted of her yelling at me to eat more (I lost weight through the entire pregnancy) and quit smoking. Two weeks after my son was born, I came close to hospitalization for postpartum psychosis.
Second OB was the exact opposite. We went over what meds were known to be safe, then which meds had benefits to me that out-weighed the risk to the baby. I stopped taking one anxiety medication, and I tapered off of it. OB told me flat-out to not quit smoking, but instead to work on cutting back, if I could. It was a case of risks to the baby vs risks to me. She said the stress and psychological strain on me would be worse for the baby than the effects of the smoking. I did some research, consulted with my primary care provider and my psych team, and decided she was right. BabyGoddess had apgar scores of 9 and 9, despite coming 8 weeks early. She has some developmental delays, but nobody can say what the cause was. Much research and many conversations with doctors and therapists have come to a consensus of "who knows?" It could have been the meds, it could have been the smoking, it could have been the preterm birth (which also could have been the meds or the smoking, or just the way she was wired), or it could have been in her genetic material from the start. And believe me, I've had some major conversations on the topic, where I've been yelled at, called names, the whole nine yards.
On CPS: their goal is to keep families together. They want you to keep your son. If it looks like you might need help with affording diapers, food, or transportation, or assistance with breastfeeding, or aid finding a job, or just someone to talk to about how hard being a mom is because you had no idea how hard it was going to be, they will help you. A big part of protecting the child is protecting and helping the parents. I couldn't even begin to tell you how many food boxes, packs of diapers, bus passes, or hours talking they gave us. (My ex-husband's ex-wife kept calling CPS because she was certain we were doing I don't even know what; our case worker never did say. She'd just say "Got another call, can I stop by?")
I know, believe me I know, as a mom, you're going to worry. Especially when you've lost so many other children. But please, honey, put this worry to rest.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 1:31 PM on November 26, 2015
Second OB was the exact opposite. We went over what meds were known to be safe, then which meds had benefits to me that out-weighed the risk to the baby. I stopped taking one anxiety medication, and I tapered off of it. OB told me flat-out to not quit smoking, but instead to work on cutting back, if I could. It was a case of risks to the baby vs risks to me. She said the stress and psychological strain on me would be worse for the baby than the effects of the smoking. I did some research, consulted with my primary care provider and my psych team, and decided she was right. BabyGoddess had apgar scores of 9 and 9, despite coming 8 weeks early. She has some developmental delays, but nobody can say what the cause was. Much research and many conversations with doctors and therapists have come to a consensus of "who knows?" It could have been the meds, it could have been the smoking, it could have been the preterm birth (which also could have been the meds or the smoking, or just the way she was wired), or it could have been in her genetic material from the start. And believe me, I've had some major conversations on the topic, where I've been yelled at, called names, the whole nine yards.
On CPS: their goal is to keep families together. They want you to keep your son. If it looks like you might need help with affording diapers, food, or transportation, or assistance with breastfeeding, or aid finding a job, or just someone to talk to about how hard being a mom is because you had no idea how hard it was going to be, they will help you. A big part of protecting the child is protecting and helping the parents. I couldn't even begin to tell you how many food boxes, packs of diapers, bus passes, or hours talking they gave us. (My ex-husband's ex-wife kept calling CPS because she was certain we were doing I don't even know what; our case worker never did say. She'd just say "Got another call, can I stop by?")
I know, believe me I know, as a mom, you're going to worry. Especially when you've lost so many other children. But please, honey, put this worry to rest.
posted by The Almighty Mommy Goddess at 1:31 PM on November 26, 2015
I'm an L&D nurse in California, where I have worked at three different hospitals. None of them have a policy of routine drug testing for pregnant women, but instead only test women for cause. At my current place of employment, we send urine tox screens on women who, among other things, have had no or scant prenatal care (including frequent missed appointments), have a known history of pre-pregnancy drug abuse and/or are in a methadone maintenance program, or have lost custody of other children for drug-related issues.
If you've been to all your prenatal appointments, don't have a prior history of drug abuse, have custody of your other child(ren), and do not disclose your time-limited use of marijuana early in your pregnancy[1], there will be no reason even to send the test in the first place.
[1] If you disclose your usage, hospital employees will likely be obligated to send your urine for a drug screen if that's what the hospital's policy dictates. I am for obvious reasons not going to advise regarding whether or not you should disclose--that is 100% your decision.
posted by jesourie at 1:54 PM on November 26, 2015
If you've been to all your prenatal appointments, don't have a prior history of drug abuse, have custody of your other child(ren), and do not disclose your time-limited use of marijuana early in your pregnancy[1], there will be no reason even to send the test in the first place.
[1] If you disclose your usage, hospital employees will likely be obligated to send your urine for a drug screen if that's what the hospital's policy dictates. I am for obvious reasons not going to advise regarding whether or not you should disclose--that is 100% your decision.
posted by jesourie at 1:54 PM on November 26, 2015
I am assuming you have no history of substance abuse issues. If you just smoked for a week, I think your meconium test may be ok - it generally picks up long-term usage. But if CPS were to be involved, know there is a difference between involvement and removal. Get anything illegal and any MJ out of your house before the birth and explain it was short-term pain relief. At most they would monitor for a little while. But I think even that is unlikely.
posted by kerf at 3:17 PM on November 26, 2015
posted by kerf at 3:17 PM on November 26, 2015
I am a foster parent. I live in super conservative Virginia. My daughter tested positive for cocaine at birth. Her mother had lost two children previously because of drug use. She tested positive during her pregnancy. My daughter still went home with her and wasn't brought into foster care for three more months after a bunch of other stuff happened. CPS is not going to take your child. Nothing is going to happen. You are 100% safe. Seriously. Social services is not going to get involved. You do not need to tell anyone, but if you want to tell your doctor you can.
It is comical to me to imagine social services getting involved here. Maybe if you were doing bong hits in your hospital room they might ask you to take a parenting class. No one is going to know. You are stressing over nothing. I promise. I am unsure of almost everything in life, but this is a complete non event. Stop Googling. Relax. It's all good. Really. I will say it again. I live in a conservative state, my daughter's mother did crack all through her pregnancy, my daughter tested positive and...nothing happened.
And I've seen other cases. It takes a lot for a child to be taken. Don't believe everything you read online. Except me. Believe me. And chill out. You didn't do anything wrong and you don't deserve to suffer like this.
posted by orsonet at 7:33 PM on November 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
It is comical to me to imagine social services getting involved here. Maybe if you were doing bong hits in your hospital room they might ask you to take a parenting class. No one is going to know. You are stressing over nothing. I promise. I am unsure of almost everything in life, but this is a complete non event. Stop Googling. Relax. It's all good. Really. I will say it again. I live in a conservative state, my daughter's mother did crack all through her pregnancy, my daughter tested positive and...nothing happened.
And I've seen other cases. It takes a lot for a child to be taken. Don't believe everything you read online. Except me. Believe me. And chill out. You didn't do anything wrong and you don't deserve to suffer like this.
posted by orsonet at 7:33 PM on November 26, 2015 [4 favorites]
I am a child welfare lawyer. I don't know the law in Colorado, don't know the practice in Colorado, so I can't give you very specific advice or any legal advice at all. I can try to give you a few generalized tips based on my experience:
First, it's true that smoking a small amount of marijuana over a short time to deal with an extremely painful condition is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You seem like a conscientious person and like you're going to be a great parent.
People above have given some great tips about how to find out if the hospital will test the meconium. If tests aren't routinely done, no one will find out about it, no problem.
If tests will be done: in many states, when a newborn comes up positive for marijuana, the hospital is obligated to file a report. A social worker from the state child protective agency comes out to investigate and visit the new parents.
It's certainly not the case that children are removed every time this happens, or even most times. However: it's not true that children are only ever removed when the situation is extremely dire. It's not true that CPS is only there to help you-- their job is to protect children, and that job can conflict with the rights of parents more than you might expect.
I don't think you have a lot to worry about, but it couldn't hurt to prepare for the possibility of investigation. kerf's advice above is good.
If you are really anxious, I would contact Colorado legal aid (seems to be the appropriate agency based on limited googling) and ask them to put you in touch with a lawyer who represents parents in child welfare cases (not divorce/custody cases). That way you can get some more specific advice about how to prepare for & interact with the social worker if indeed one is sent out.
I hope none of this seems alarmist-- I really do think you will be fine. But it never hurts to prepare. In my mind that preparation is not incompatible with chilling out and not worrying about this too much, which I also think you should do.
posted by Henrietta Stackpole at 7:04 AM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
First, it's true that smoking a small amount of marijuana over a short time to deal with an extremely painful condition is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. You seem like a conscientious person and like you're going to be a great parent.
People above have given some great tips about how to find out if the hospital will test the meconium. If tests aren't routinely done, no one will find out about it, no problem.
If tests will be done: in many states, when a newborn comes up positive for marijuana, the hospital is obligated to file a report. A social worker from the state child protective agency comes out to investigate and visit the new parents.
It's certainly not the case that children are removed every time this happens, or even most times. However: it's not true that children are only ever removed when the situation is extremely dire. It's not true that CPS is only there to help you-- their job is to protect children, and that job can conflict with the rights of parents more than you might expect.
I don't think you have a lot to worry about, but it couldn't hurt to prepare for the possibility of investigation. kerf's advice above is good.
If you are really anxious, I would contact Colorado legal aid (seems to be the appropriate agency based on limited googling) and ask them to put you in touch with a lawyer who represents parents in child welfare cases (not divorce/custody cases). That way you can get some more specific advice about how to prepare for & interact with the social worker if indeed one is sent out.
I hope none of this seems alarmist-- I really do think you will be fine. But it never hurts to prepare. In my mind that preparation is not incompatible with chilling out and not worrying about this too much, which I also think you should do.
posted by Henrietta Stackpole at 7:04 AM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
I'd call the hospital and cheerfully ask about newborn screening for your own peace of mind.
I doubt your baby would be taken away anyway. But you could consult with a lawyer, again for your own peace of mind.
I actually had a piece published on being an anxious parent in the age of Google. Here's the thing: enough Googling will almost always lead you to believe your child has leukemia, or that you are being judged as the worst parent ever. But getting out in the real world with true experts will often give you support, care, and more measured information.
It's going to be okay.
posted by warriorqueen at 3:47 AM on November 26, 2015 [10 favorites]