De-cluttering for the poor person

November 22, 2015 1:15 PM

I am moving from a small house to a one bedroom apartment and have WAY too much stuff. Most de-cluttering advice revolves around things one doesn't need or use. My clutter is largely backups of things I both need AND use, and I am having trouble getting rid of it because I worry I can't afford a replacement if the first breaks. What to do?

I went through a decade of semi-serious to serious poverty. During that time I picked up a scavenging habit and have acquired a lot of extras in case the original item I have breaks. This served me well--it has saved me the cost of buying things numerous times.

But now that I'm moving I have to admit to myself that it's getting ridiculous. There is too much for my new place. Who needs three wooden spoons? But in the back of my head I can't stop thinking "just in case". This is reinforced by the massive pare down I did before a cross-state move years ago that made moving easier but a year or so after left me wanting much of what I'd given up.

De-cluttering gurus say "Give yourself permission to but it again if you need to." That doesn't work too well for the financially insecure. Though I make more money now, we're talking a move from the bottom 5-10% to the bottom 30%, not exactly rolling in it.

Does anyone have suggestions for relieving my anxiety and letting go of things? How do I achieve minimalism on a budget?

posted by anonymous to Home & Garden (20 answers total)

You can get anything in hours via Amazon prime or goodwill. Think about goodwill storing your huge mixing bowl (or whatever) and when you need it you go there and pay them for the storage time.
posted by k8t at 1:18 PM on November 22, 2015 [8 favorites]

Try to internalize that as a nation, the US is drowning in stuff. If you were able to scavenge it before, you'll be able to do so again if needed. Pay it forward by freecycling your duplicates now, and then just try to believe that when you need to replace something you'll be able to find it again either used/cheap or free. Make some lists of Savers/Salvation Army-type stores near your new apartment. With luck you will never need to use your lists and will be able to buy replacements of things. But maybe that can help you feel more comfortable.
posted by clone boulevard at 1:27 PM on November 22, 2015 [16 favorites]

You might lose one wooden spoon or break one bowl or need to replace one curtain rod. But chances are you aren't going to need to do those things all at once. Pare down to the smallest number of things you actually need, choosing the best one or few of each (as reasonable, for instance, more than one kind of serving bowl is useful but I find that once you get past 4 or 5 they are mostly never getting used) and get rid of the rest. You won't miss most of it, and if you do, you will prioritize only re-buying what you really need and want. A periodic purge is a good thing even for those of us on a small budget.

I had a similar scavenging practice for a long time but I found that once my sense of panic/scarcity abated with a slightly more secure salary, so did my desire to "save" things "in case" or to fill my home with stuff just to feel like I had stuff. Think about the time it takes to manage and handle these things and be frugal with that, too. I no longer take on castoff furniture that would need to be repainted, reupholstered, etc and would then be so awesome! I don't have time for that. It's not a good value if I have to spend a lot of hours on it and buy materials to do it with.
posted by Miko at 1:27 PM on November 22, 2015 [3 favorites]

Having too much stuff costs money. You need to pay rent on a larger apartment, larger rooms, larger garage, etc. Presumably, you are saving money by going from a small house to a single bedroom apartment. Consider some of that cost compensation for disposing of extra stuff. If you save $300/mo by going to a smaller apartment and spend $100/mo buying stuff that you incorrectly disposed of, you are still saving money in the end.

For what it's worth, the cost for me to dispose of useless goods has always been less than the cost of maintaining a larger home.
posted by saeculorum at 1:31 PM on November 22, 2015 [23 favorites]

I identify with this question a lot.

One thing that worked for me was identifying things that maybe I should get rid of, and packing them in a plastic crate (the kind with the top that snaps on and off) and bringing it with me. I left the crate in an out of the way spot (under the bed is best) in the new apartment and let myself remove things as needed over the course of a year. At the end of the year, I felt a lot better about getting rid of the things in the crate that I hadn't needed to touch at all for an entire year. A similar common method with clothes is to reverse the direction of your hangers, and only turn them around once you've worn that item.

Another thing I like to do with durable items (doesn't work so well with that half used tube of antibiotic ointment) is offer them to friends. It definitely requires a lot more legwork than tossing everything in a bag and bringing it to Goodwill, but it helps me part with things when I know that if I ever truly need it I can borrow it back from Bob.

Finally, I truly believe that that ideal, minimalist lifestyle is itself a luxury. I'm already living in a tiny apartment and could not theoretically save money by having less stuff and living in a smaller place. I keep a lot of things that I can't afford to throw away, and that's just part of living at my economic level, the same as not eating out or traveling a lot.
posted by telegraph at 1:42 PM on November 22, 2015 [10 favorites]

schroedinger: "During that time I picked up a scavenging habit and have acquired a lot of extras in case the original item I have breaks. This served me well--it has saved me the cost of buying things numerous times. "

This cost me money because I forgot whether or not I had spares (that I generally picked up on sale or at thrift stores as a "great deal"), and I had so many spares of so many things that searching through the "deep storage" in my apartment/townhouse/house (as time went by) became time-prohibitive and it was easier to just go buy a new one. Like, I'd buy two years worth of deodorant on sale with a coupon, store it away in the back of a cabinet, forget about it, buy new deodorant when I ran out, and then find the first 8. So instead of buying two deodorants that year or whatever, I bought TEN. The more I did this, the more crowded the storage space got, and the harder it got to find anything, so that even when I REMEMBERED I had spares, I often couldn't locate them.

This has only happened one time since I started hardcore purging (AA batteries ... I had half a package left when I bought a new package). I have missed one thing -- a double-sized mug that I liked to eat soup from -- but, as I rationalized when I sent it to the thrift store, I can just eat soup IN A BOWL or a regular-sized mug. I may not have the PERFECT soup mug anymore but I can certainly still accomplish the task.

With larger things like suitcases I really AGONIZED over getting rid of terrible old suitcases that I never used but might conceivably need and suitcases are HELLA EXPENSIVE to re-buy. So, again, I thought, "how could I make do if I had to?" Well, I just kept the biggest suitcase in case I was driving or checking luggage through -- it's hardly the end of the world if you have to take a slightly too-large suitcase -- and a weekend-bag size. (I mean, worst-case scenario, you stuff your clothes in garbage bags or grocery totes if you're traveling by car, there are lots of options, I realized.) The very first thing that happened was I had to go on an unexpected trip where I wanted a carry-on rolling suitcase, which I had just gotten rid of -- so I posted to facebook, "Hey, does anybody have a carry on suitcase I can borrow next weekend?" I got offered like a dozen.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 1:48 PM on November 22, 2015 [20 favorites]

Also, try to make a mental shift from "what if mine breaks" to "someone needs this, and I'm hoarding a perfectly good one from them." When your mind says "that's silly, there are plenty for them," Ding! That means there are plenty for you, too.
posted by ctmf at 1:59 PM on November 22, 2015 [20 favorites]

Instead of donating it, make the effort to sell your stuff - garage sale, Ebay, used bookstores, etc. Lots of stuff won't sell, but a few things will sell for more than you'd expected. Don't fold that money into your general finances - use it as your 'replacements' fund. It is probably the case that you will get rid of some things that you'll need to replace (although I agree with others, having done this, that it is surprisingly rare) but as long as you stay ahead of your replacement fund, you're still saving money. Of course, this is more of a psychological trick than anything else, since you're already saving money by moving to a smaller place, but it might help to be able to put a number on it.

When I did my purge, I was getting ready to move across the country, and so I had "Cost of a Moving Van" in mind to counterbalance the potential cost of replacing things I accidentally threw away. We moved my pared-down belongings in my mom's truck, and I used some the money I saved to get a few nicer things to replace cruddier versions of the things I'd thrown away, and it was wonderful. Frankly, it'd be hard to put a value on the happiness is has brought me to shift from "drastically messy person who has a miserable relationship to her belongings" to "slightly messy person who no longer feels weighed down by stuff," but being able to convince yourself that you're being financially responsible by getting rid of things definitely makes it easier to start.
posted by pretentious illiterate at 2:01 PM on November 22, 2015 [5 favorites]

Do you have freecycle* in your community? If so, that can be another source of replacement items when you need it. You can look through recent postings to get an idea what people give away and what they request. However, do NOT sign up to get the emails directly in your inbox - it will just tempt you to pick up more stuff you might, maybe, someday use. Instead, go to the webpage when you want to post.

*For political reasons there is freecycle.org and freecycle.net plus some other local variations. So I would google "freecycle " and see what is available.
posted by metahawk at 2:06 PM on November 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

A different tack: How well organized are you with your things? If you're not already a whiz at maximizing storage, try doing an image search on 'small space storage solutions/ideas/hacks' for free or cheap inspiration. I've seen a nifty oven rack used as a pot hanger hung from the kitchen ceiling to free up a cupboard or two. The S-hooks were made from coat hangers.
posted by mal de coucou at 2:09 PM on November 22, 2015

I had to find my password and sign in to respond to this question. I’ve written a lot about decluttering and minimalism, and I always feel a little weird about it because though I strongly believe that doing those things can really improve your life, the usual advice about them is very much targeted at comfortably middle class people, and I was/am not that. So here’s what I think.

First of all, recognize that having less stuff will save you money. 1, moving is cheaper if you can do it without movers - or if you do have movers, it’s cheaper when they can spend fewer hours moving your stuff. 2, living in a smaller apartment/house is almost always cheaper than living in a larger one. 3, if you have to be actually working to get paid, as I do, when you spend less time cleaning/organizing you can spend more hours working, and it takes less time to clean and organize a home with less stuff in it. 4, stuff sort of attracts more stuff. I don’t mean that in a magical woo sense, although it’s probably true that when you get out of a “need more” mindset, you are indeed “magically” happier with much less. But on an entirely practical level, if you have two wooden spoons they will fit in your kitchen drawer; but if you have ten they suddenly require a special container to hold them, which in turn might not fit on the counter and therefore demands a kitchen hutch, which looks weird with just the utensils on it so you have to buy a decorative rooster, and so on.

Second, most doubles or emergency back-ups don’t end up getting used, for a variety of reasons. They go bad/break, get lost, you no longer like them years later, your habits or circumstances change over time and you don’t need them, and so on. There are exceptions to this, e.g. items like socks, which wear out and get lost easily, as well as needing to be washed frequently, thereby taking up precious hours when you could be working to earn money. But aside from these few cases where it really does benefit you to hang on to extras, it’s usually just a rationalization to buy/acquire more. Clutter purchased for what seems like a good reason is still ultimately just clutter.

Plus, the more stuff you have the easier it is to misplace something, meaning you have to go out and buy new stuff you don’t actually need. When you own fewer things, you are more careful with what you have and more likely to be able to store everything in such a way that it’s visible and won’t get lost/buried. I know that when I used to own one pair of tweezers, I never misplaced it; now I somehow own three pairs, which should be ideal (one for home, one for my travel bag, and one at my mom’s where I often stay over) and yet I’m constantly misplacing them.

So to keep using the spoons as an example, I’d say ask yourself how many spoons you actually use at any one time. Probably one, or maybe two if you cook a lot. I’d keep the best quality (or most loved) one (or two) and give away the other(s.) I don’t know if it will help you, but it helps me to think that poor as I am, there are many people much worse off, who could never even have one spoon if it wasn’t a few cents at Goodwill or whatever.

PM me or email me if you want, I've read and thought a lot about this stuff!
posted by DestinationUnknown at 2:19 PM on November 22, 2015 [25 favorites]

Think of replacement cost when you save "extras." Saving a $1 spoon doesn't make sense. Saving an extra $200 tent might.
posted by metasarah at 2:39 PM on November 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Try to internalize that as a nation, the US is drowning in stuff. If you were able to scavenge it before, you'll be able to do so again if needed.

Seconding that, in many cases, via Freecycle and Craigslist, it is now easier than ever before. I take some comfort in knowing there is a huge amount of free to nearly free stuff now clearly daylighted for me should I ever need it.
posted by ryanshepard at 3:38 PM on November 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

One of the things with freecycle is that you can ask for things. I've given away stuff I didn't know I was going to give away until someone asked for it but when they did it reminded me that I hadn't used it in ages and there was someone right there who needed it now. People would think the same about your needs should something you give away now become necessary in the future.
posted by kitten magic at 3:48 PM on November 22, 2015 [6 favorites]

I think it depends on the size of the items and how much storage space you have. Three wooden spoons? I probably have 9--I use them all the time. But more than one large stock/pasta pot? Not worth the space. Same with vacuum cleaners, "decorative" baskets, clear glass or plastic vases or pitchers, ratty old towels, unmatched plates, freebie mugs, etc.. I have a lot of stuff, (much of it scavenged or rescued) but I don't keep anything I don't love. I also get rid of anything chipped (assuming it's not an antique or beloved), flaking, cracked or threadbare. Cheap dimestore stuff--I put out on the street and it usually vanishes overnight.
posted by Ideefixe at 4:27 PM on November 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

You talk about keeping extra devices in case the first one breaks. This may not be relevant - but kitchen devices in particular can be .... redundant.

For example, a single-serving pour-over cone is not a replacement for a coffeemaker - but it's pretty close. It'll work as a temporary backup until you can find another one. (It takes up less space, it doesn't wear out, and you don't actually need the special filters. You can fold a regular filter into the right shape. ... and IMO it makes better coffee.)

If your cheese grater (which can also be used on carrots and ginger) breaks, you can use a potato peeler instead. It's not ideal, but it'll work until you can find a new grater at a thrift store.
If your potato peeler breaks, you can use a knife.
If a wooden spoon breaks, you can use either a ladle or a spatula.
Electric kettles are great, and so are rice cookers, but if you have a stove, they can both be replaced with pots.

If you have an electric beater, and it breaks, you can whisk things with a fork. It's a pain in the ass, and it won't work for meringues - but it works for pancake batter, omelettes, even really thick cookie dough.

...... I grew up cooking in a hoarder household. So while we technically had all these gadgets, I didn't know where they were, or I couldn't get to them, or I couldn't clean them after use. So I mashed potatoes with a fork. It works. There's a big non-fine line between having something, and ... benefitting from having it.
posted by Rainbo Vagrant at 4:55 PM on November 22, 2015 [12 favorites]

My rules to banish clutter in my small space:

1. No single-use gadgets. A toaster only makes toast, so I got rid of mine and toast bread in the oven (I don't eat much bread so it works for me). Pizza cutter was donated and now I use a knife or scissors. Fewer bowls, only one grater that's multi-sided for different foods. Etc.

2. Do not keep empty packaging of any kind.

3. Never buy more than 2 of anything, even when it's on sale. Keep one set of backups for things you use a lot, but that's all. Donate or give away the rest.

4. I have a cabinet with giant tupperware bins. One is called "pharmacy" (extra shampoo, contact solution, toothbrushes) and one is called "kitchen" (extra noodles, boxed broth, etc) and one is called "hardware" (tools, wall paint) and one is "arts n crafts" (wrapping paper, paint, etc). All extra thingies related to each category must fit in their bin, or else they need to go.

5. Give away things to friends. That way it hurts less to get rid of them, and you can always get them back or at least increase your social capital so others will do you favours when you need something.

6. Read Marie Kondo's The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up. The principles (items must spark joy, etc) are widely shared but there were some other parts I loved. In particular she says (I'm paraphrasing), decluttering makes you feel shame. All the dreams you abandoned (I'll learn calligraphy with these pens! I'll be skinny and wear this dress!) are embodied in your "stuff". All the money you wasted is sunk into your stuff. Of course you will resist decluttering because confronting those items really means confronting the versions of yourself you have left behind, and the bad decisions you made when overbuying in the past. But face them, and you will feel clearer about who you are now, who you want to be next, and you will release past shame. That chapter is near the end and it blew my mind.

7. Watch an episode of Hoarders while drinking a large coffee, then declutter for an hour. Surprisingly effective.

This is something I think about a lot, and work on a lot. It's very rewarding to make conceptual changes in how you approach possession and acquisition and organization. Good luck!
posted by pseudostrabismus at 11:04 PM on November 22, 2015 [16 favorites]

I did the Mari Kondo thing and it was, as the book claims, life-changing. My tiny 300-square-foot apartment in Hong Kong only contains things I truly love, use, and enjoy, and as a lower-middle class teacher I also can't just buy new stuff either. The process is (thankfully!) a one-time thing and though it's a very intense experience - not bad, but definitely emotional! - it is incredibly empowering to let things you don't like, want or need go on to a new home where they can be loved, or to the recycling bin to be turned into something new for someone else.

It is also a very secure feeling living in a post-Kondoed space - all the important papers in my life now fit in one very safe folder I can grab if there's a fire; if I had to move in 24 hours I could easily manage it; I know where everything in my house is.

To give you an idea of the scale of what it was like doing this: I am a single guy, and I "let go" of fifteen 30-gallon/120-litre black garbage bags of stuff.

Some choice examples of stuff I felt didn't "spark joy" anymore and sold, gave away, donated or recycled:

- twelve pairs of socks, dating from 2003-2012, all with some sort of hole, and all of which I had moved between houses but never worn
- shoes from 2007 that didn't fit anymore
- a zillion cables and plugs for old electronics I don't have any more
- 1000-1500 pieces of paper of various levels of importance
- the box my dehumidfier came in
- a set of shelves I never built
- about 20 bars of soap, six boxes of dental floss, fifteen deodorant sticks, and six toothbrushes
- two sets of bedding for a mattress size I no longer use
- a barbecue and coals - I have no outdoor space
- about 50 plastic storage boxes/tupperware-style things and the lids that had warped and didn't fit them
- some souvenirs from overseas - I took photos of each and junked the rest

Things I saved and now have the space to show off/enjoy:

- my favourite planes from my model plane collection - they now decorate my house instead of being hidden in a closet (my Thai Airways 1:500 scale Airbus A380 lives on top of my curry paste tub!)
- a beautiful map of Victoria Harbour that proudly hangs over my kitchen table
- my favourite towels are now used every day instead of cycled in and out
- a few family photos decorate my fridge instead of receipts and bills, which I've moved online/to autopay

Overall: my life is way better than it was before, my house is a lovely little oasis, and I could actually list everything I own now if you asked me. It's wild and liberating. You can do it!
posted by mdonley at 2:24 AM on November 23, 2015 [11 favorites]

The only "backup" you need in your life (and new apartment) is an external hard drive for your computer. Some people rely on The Cloud™ for their backup; others don't.
Household items break less frequently than you think. Having " back up" junk clutters your space and your mind. Out with it all!
posted by BostonTerrier at 5:10 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

I find decluttering really helps if you sell things on Craigslist or give it away on free-exchange groups like Freecycle and Buy Nothing Project. It takes more effort and planning because you have to sort and take pictures and post them. On the other hand, I definitely get what I need more from these groups. And it helps me to think that someone who needs/wants it is using it, rather than the thing just languishing in my storage.

Another thing to consider is the cost of space. Storage units have costs, and you need to travel to get stuff out of it. But even having so much stuff that you need a larger apartment/house takes money, because you're paying for that extra space. That's space you could be living in. Is it really worth it to use your house as storage, rather than just giving that stuff away?
posted by ethidda at 10:29 AM on November 23, 2015