How to pre-pay for a funeral when you never stay in one place long?
November 19, 2015 10:35 PM Subscribe
After my mother died last fall, and my family having no money to bury her, it got me thinking about my own inevitable death someday. I know you can prepay for your funeral at actual funeral homes, but I never stay in one location more than 2-3 years. I have no idea where I'll be when I die. I've thought about life insurance, but I think that takes a while to pay out? Are there some options I'm missing?
Response by poster: No spouse, no children. Estranged from family (on and off, we're talking now that Mom died, but idk how long it'll last). I have one very close friend I could trust with something like that, but I'm hoping there's more options out there.
posted by Zarya at 11:21 PM on November 19, 2015
posted by Zarya at 11:21 PM on November 19, 2015
Best answer: I set up services in advance for a parent who was in hospice a couple of years ago and got a crash course on this.
Many funeral homes & cemeteries link into a national network for prepaid services, so to prepay, you purchase what is essentially an insurance policy through that network. The funeral home I was working with was part of Dignity but I think there are others.
The word they kept using was "pre-need." So you pay in advance for the services you want, and then the policy would be applied to whichever funeral home you wanted anywhere in the country when you pass away.
The policy amount can cover as much or as little as you want. For example, if you want a cremation, there's a fee for pickup, one for the box used in the retort (there are different kinds!), a fee for the temporary container for the ashes, another for an urn if you want one. You can choose to pay for a reception, flowers, headstone, memorial cards with your face floating in the clouds, your ashes turned into a diamond, etc. It is dizzying all of the things you can pick if you wanted.
From my understanding, what you pay in advance would cover the equivalent level of services you would eventually receive. So if a cremation costs $3K-ish now but costs $6K fifty years from now, your $3K policy would cover the full cost of services in 2065.
posted by mochapickle at 12:56 AM on November 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Many funeral homes & cemeteries link into a national network for prepaid services, so to prepay, you purchase what is essentially an insurance policy through that network. The funeral home I was working with was part of Dignity but I think there are others.
The word they kept using was "pre-need." So you pay in advance for the services you want, and then the policy would be applied to whichever funeral home you wanted anywhere in the country when you pass away.
The policy amount can cover as much or as little as you want. For example, if you want a cremation, there's a fee for pickup, one for the box used in the retort (there are different kinds!), a fee for the temporary container for the ashes, another for an urn if you want one. You can choose to pay for a reception, flowers, headstone, memorial cards with your face floating in the clouds, your ashes turned into a diamond, etc. It is dizzying all of the things you can pick if you wanted.
From my understanding, what you pay in advance would cover the equivalent level of services you would eventually receive. So if a cremation costs $3K-ish now but costs $6K fifty years from now, your $3K policy would cover the full cost of services in 2065.
posted by mochapickle at 12:56 AM on November 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
When I told a friend I wanted my ashes scattered in the river when I die, he asked: why do you care since you're dead?
I'm not going to be this brazen, but how about donating your body to science?
posted by Kwadeng at 1:13 AM on November 20, 2015
I'm not going to be this brazen, but how about donating your body to science?
posted by Kwadeng at 1:13 AM on November 20, 2015
People care because it costs money to dispose of a body and they don't want to stick their relatives with that expense on top of everything else.
Donating your body to science is probably the cheapest legal option, but it has to be you that arranges that since it's your body.
posted by tel3path at 1:35 AM on November 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Donating your body to science is probably the cheapest legal option, but it has to be you that arranges that since it's your body.
posted by tel3path at 1:35 AM on November 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Best answer: You can absolutely get a preneed policy, but in order to lock in today's prices (rather than market price when you pass), you'll need to choose a funeral home.
If you're going to be buried, and you know where (I.e., you have or are going to purchase a plot somewhere), then you can choose a funeral home near that, and do your pre-planning there. Even if you are not near there when you pass, you can be shipped back there. I think that you may have to be embalmed prior to being shipped on an airline, so if you're far away, a local funeral home will likely be called to prepare your body for shipment by the funeral home that you have your arrangements with.
There are guaranteed parts to a preneed & then there are cash advances. Guaranteed parts are things like service price & merchandise.
Cash advances are things from other merchants that the funeral home can handle for you (obits, flowers, death certificates, opening & closing of the grave, cremation fees/permits) but they have no control over pricing, so they can't guarantee them. You can put aside money for these items, but if they go up in price, whoever handles your funeral will have to pay the difference. Generally, transport is one of those things.
If you want to be cremated, there are cremation societies that you can join - for example, Neptune Society. They charge you a flat amount, send you the merchandise (urn, etc), and you can purchase a travel policy so that no matter where you pass, you're covered. It's a no frills policy, cash advances aren't covered, and I think it's only for direct cremation.
There is a trend right now of low cost funeral homes as startups - if you truly don't care where your remains are handled, I would choose one of those, & lock in a direct cremation for an inexpensive price, & figure travel in on top of the cost.
I don't know much about the body donation process, so I can't speak to that.
posted by needlegrrl at 2:55 AM on November 20, 2015
If you're going to be buried, and you know where (I.e., you have or are going to purchase a plot somewhere), then you can choose a funeral home near that, and do your pre-planning there. Even if you are not near there when you pass, you can be shipped back there. I think that you may have to be embalmed prior to being shipped on an airline, so if you're far away, a local funeral home will likely be called to prepare your body for shipment by the funeral home that you have your arrangements with.
There are guaranteed parts to a preneed & then there are cash advances. Guaranteed parts are things like service price & merchandise.
Cash advances are things from other merchants that the funeral home can handle for you (obits, flowers, death certificates, opening & closing of the grave, cremation fees/permits) but they have no control over pricing, so they can't guarantee them. You can put aside money for these items, but if they go up in price, whoever handles your funeral will have to pay the difference. Generally, transport is one of those things.
If you want to be cremated, there are cremation societies that you can join - for example, Neptune Society. They charge you a flat amount, send you the merchandise (urn, etc), and you can purchase a travel policy so that no matter where you pass, you're covered. It's a no frills policy, cash advances aren't covered, and I think it's only for direct cremation.
There is a trend right now of low cost funeral homes as startups - if you truly don't care where your remains are handled, I would choose one of those, & lock in a direct cremation for an inexpensive price, & figure travel in on top of the cost.
I don't know much about the body donation process, so I can't speak to that.
posted by needlegrrl at 2:55 AM on November 20, 2015
Regarding the body donation derail: Any place you choose to donate your body to will tell you that there is a possibility that when the time comes, they won't take it. They might be oversupplied at the moment. And they won't take bodies with infection diseases, significant wounds or trauma, or ones that show severe malnutrition or obesity, or ones that were autopsied. They usually recommend making arrangements with a second medical school as a backup in the event they are full up, but then there's no guarantee your backup school will take you, either. Besides all that, they may not cover the transportation cost if you die outside the region where the school is located. If they do accept you, they will cover the cost of burial or cremation at facilities with which they have arrangements. Cremains would be sent to next of kin, or buried at the school's chosen location.
So the bottom line on body donation is that you need to have Plan B in place for your next of kin to deal with whatever contingencies may arise, which means you need the kind of location-flexible pre-paid plan described in the previous answers. All that said, also, buyer beware.
posted by beagle at 8:45 AM on November 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
So the bottom line on body donation is that you need to have Plan B in place for your next of kin to deal with whatever contingencies may arise, which means you need the kind of location-flexible pre-paid plan described in the previous answers. All that said, also, buyer beware.
posted by beagle at 8:45 AM on November 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
You can set up a joint bank account with a friend you trust, and deposit a chunk of change in it, which your friend can use for expenses if you die or become incapacitated.
Incapacitation is probably the more important contingency to provide for. If you're dead, you're beyond worrying, and nobody can actually make your family or friends pay your final expenses. But people without family, or assertive and generous close friends, can and do lose their home, car, credit ratings, pets, what have you, because they are physically or mentally unable to take care of business, even when they have money in the bank.
posted by MattD at 11:52 AM on November 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Incapacitation is probably the more important contingency to provide for. If you're dead, you're beyond worrying, and nobody can actually make your family or friends pay your final expenses. But people without family, or assertive and generous close friends, can and do lose their home, car, credit ratings, pets, what have you, because they are physically or mentally unable to take care of business, even when they have money in the bank.
posted by MattD at 11:52 AM on November 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
So if a cremation costs $3K-ish now but costs $6K fifty years from now, your $3K policy would cover the full cost of services in 2065.
This is a silly reason to prepay for anything. If you put $3K into a 30-year T-Bill right now (about the most conservative investment you could make), you'd have $7,378.54 by 2045, none the less 2065.
Are there some options I'm missing?
Save money and don't spend it. Prepaying for your death is only useful when you die. Keeping money is useful before you die, as you can exchange it for valuable goods and services. Most importantly, it acts as insurance for unexpected expenditures that you are faced before you die (which you have to pay for) versus unexpected expenditures that you are faced with when you die (which your survivors could conceivably not pay for - there's no legal obligation for them to bury you; conceivably, they could have the local government give you a pauper's burial or donate your body for science).
posted by saeculorum at 12:53 PM on November 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is a silly reason to prepay for anything. If you put $3K into a 30-year T-Bill right now (about the most conservative investment you could make), you'd have $7,378.54 by 2045, none the less 2065.
Are there some options I'm missing?
Save money and don't spend it. Prepaying for your death is only useful when you die. Keeping money is useful before you die, as you can exchange it for valuable goods and services. Most importantly, it acts as insurance for unexpected expenditures that you are faced before you die (which you have to pay for) versus unexpected expenditures that you are faced with when you die (which your survivors could conceivably not pay for - there's no legal obligation for them to bury you; conceivably, they could have the local government give you a pauper's burial or donate your body for science).
posted by saeculorum at 12:53 PM on November 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh! I should mention that 6K number was off the cuff. (I was half asleep and reeling on cough medicine. Also famously bad at math.)
posted by mochapickle at 1:36 PM on November 20, 2015
posted by mochapickle at 1:36 PM on November 20, 2015
I just want to say thank you for thinking ahead. Your friends and family will appreciate this gift to them.
posted by samthemander at 11:03 PM on November 20, 2015
posted by samthemander at 11:03 PM on November 20, 2015
It sounds like it's pretty important to you to have a funeral. If you die with no family around, you'll need to figure out how the people who work at wherever your body ends up will find out about the arrangements you've made, or how they will know to contact your friends.
You might find the documentary A Certain Kind of Death to be of interest.
posted by yohko at 5:33 PM on November 21, 2015
You might find the documentary A Certain Kind of Death to be of interest.
posted by yohko at 5:33 PM on November 21, 2015
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posted by samthemander at 11:06 PM on November 19, 2015 [2 favorites]