Fire dog walker, or give him another chance?
November 13, 2015 6:51 PM Subscribe
I adopted a sweet 11yo black lab on Halloween. He's obviously still settling into home life after spending two months at the animal shelter, but in general things are going great. This was his first week with his midday dog walker, and I'm not feeling super pleased with the dog walker's services. Help me figure out if I'm right to be worried or I'm being an anxious, over-protective new (dog) Momma.
First things first: Picture tax. Here is a photo of my pup.
Okay, so my dog has a bit of separation anxiety, which can be a bit overwhelming for me at times but is, of course, completely understandable and expected for a shelter dog. The way he expresses his anxiety is mostly by eating and chewing things he shouldn't. And the weekend I adopted him, he pulled down a coat rack that was nailed into the wall (!!!). I worried about him hurting himself, so I decided to crate him when he would be alone for his own safety. He doesn't exactly love the crate, but he doesn't dislike it, either. He eats all meals and drinks all water in the crate, and gets the best treats and toys in there. I've taken some videos of him while I was running errands, and he seems to settle down and nap in the crate shortly after I leave. Every day he gets a bit better with my absences. I've hired a dog walker to give him a nice midday walk to stretch his legs while I'm gone.
We met this dog walker over the weekend, and it went pretty well. I wouldn't say I was over the moon about him, but I often don't click with people right away so I decided not to fret over that. My dog seemed to like him just fine, so I gave him a set of keys to the apartment. The plan was for him to walk my pup for 30 mins every weekday. Mine would be the second dog walked each day; the first (which lives less than five mins from me) would go at 12pm, also for 30 mins, so he lead me to believe he would be at my place by 12:45pm or so. Naturally, there have been some complications...
My issues with this dog walker
* From the get-go, he has seemed very judgmental of my decision to crate my dog. He pulled a face at our meet-and-greet when I explained why I was crating him. All of his post-walk texts reassure me that he has returned my dog to his "cage." (Yes, I get that a crate is a cage, but the way he says this always feels super judgey to me... Look, man, I already feel bad that he needs to be crated when I'm gone!)
* He seems to arrive at erratic times. On Monday, he texted me at 1:20pm to let me know he was just entering the apartment to take my dog out. That was more than 30 minutes after I expected him and I hated knowing that my dog was alone for longer than I had planned. For the rest of the week he arrived at random times after 1pm. I feel that dogs need structure and it isn't fair to be so lackadaisical with timing.
* Today, apparently my dog would not return to his crate after the walk (an issue I have never had with him). When he texted me this, I said that he could leave him in my bedroom, but only if he removed some small boxes from my dresser (I didn't want to come home to find my pup had eaten my earrings or lipstick and hurt himself). He did that. He sent me a text indicating that my dog seemed unhappy with the crate. I acknowledged that it wasn't ideal (and that it is likely/hopefully temporary) but pointed out that I was doing my best and just trying to keep a new, anxious dog safe in his new environment. All of his texts just feel so judgmental and condescending. Also apparently he tried to shove my dog into the crate, which is of course (a) a good way to make him afraid of the crate and (b) not nice. But I never explicitly told him not to do this, so I think that one is on me.
His redeeming qualities
* He is super cheap. SUPER CHEAP. He charges about half what his closest competitor does. But I could afford a more expensive dog walker, if I needed to.
So, what would you do? I'm leaning towards firing him, I think, but... Like my dog I'm anxiety-prone, so I'm having a hard time knowing if my concerns are justified. I often worry too much about things that don't merit it, and read too much into other people's tone and actions, so it's hard for me to know if I'm being hyper vigilant or perfectly reasonable.
First things first: Picture tax. Here is a photo of my pup.
Okay, so my dog has a bit of separation anxiety, which can be a bit overwhelming for me at times but is, of course, completely understandable and expected for a shelter dog. The way he expresses his anxiety is mostly by eating and chewing things he shouldn't. And the weekend I adopted him, he pulled down a coat rack that was nailed into the wall (!!!). I worried about him hurting himself, so I decided to crate him when he would be alone for his own safety. He doesn't exactly love the crate, but he doesn't dislike it, either. He eats all meals and drinks all water in the crate, and gets the best treats and toys in there. I've taken some videos of him while I was running errands, and he seems to settle down and nap in the crate shortly after I leave. Every day he gets a bit better with my absences. I've hired a dog walker to give him a nice midday walk to stretch his legs while I'm gone.
We met this dog walker over the weekend, and it went pretty well. I wouldn't say I was over the moon about him, but I often don't click with people right away so I decided not to fret over that. My dog seemed to like him just fine, so I gave him a set of keys to the apartment. The plan was for him to walk my pup for 30 mins every weekday. Mine would be the second dog walked each day; the first (which lives less than five mins from me) would go at 12pm, also for 30 mins, so he lead me to believe he would be at my place by 12:45pm or so. Naturally, there have been some complications...
My issues with this dog walker
* From the get-go, he has seemed very judgmental of my decision to crate my dog. He pulled a face at our meet-and-greet when I explained why I was crating him. All of his post-walk texts reassure me that he has returned my dog to his "cage." (Yes, I get that a crate is a cage, but the way he says this always feels super judgey to me... Look, man, I already feel bad that he needs to be crated when I'm gone!)
* He seems to arrive at erratic times. On Monday, he texted me at 1:20pm to let me know he was just entering the apartment to take my dog out. That was more than 30 minutes after I expected him and I hated knowing that my dog was alone for longer than I had planned. For the rest of the week he arrived at random times after 1pm. I feel that dogs need structure and it isn't fair to be so lackadaisical with timing.
* Today, apparently my dog would not return to his crate after the walk (an issue I have never had with him). When he texted me this, I said that he could leave him in my bedroom, but only if he removed some small boxes from my dresser (I didn't want to come home to find my pup had eaten my earrings or lipstick and hurt himself). He did that. He sent me a text indicating that my dog seemed unhappy with the crate. I acknowledged that it wasn't ideal (and that it is likely/hopefully temporary) but pointed out that I was doing my best and just trying to keep a new, anxious dog safe in his new environment. All of his texts just feel so judgmental and condescending. Also apparently he tried to shove my dog into the crate, which is of course (a) a good way to make him afraid of the crate and (b) not nice. But I never explicitly told him not to do this, so I think that one is on me.
His redeeming qualities
* He is super cheap. SUPER CHEAP. He charges about half what his closest competitor does. But I could afford a more expensive dog walker, if I needed to.
So, what would you do? I'm leaning towards firing him, I think, but... Like my dog I'm anxiety-prone, so I'm having a hard time knowing if my concerns are justified. I often worry too much about things that don't merit it, and read too much into other people's tone and actions, so it's hard for me to know if I'm being hyper vigilant or perfectly reasonable.
yeah. ditch him. the judgeyness would have pissed me right off from the start, but the shoving is not freaking cool. you might be able to drop the walk when your sweet boy (hello, puppy! yes, i know, i'm on a screen) adjusts to you better, so the money could still be minimal. but sometimes, pet carers just don't work out. and that's what i'd tell him - i'm sorry, just not working out, best of luck in the future.
posted by koroshiya at 7:05 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by koroshiya at 7:05 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
He is super cheap. SUPER CHEAP. He charges about half what his closest competitor does. But I could afford a more expensive dog walker, if I needed to.
None of what you're describing sounds remotely acceptable to me as a fellow pet (if not dog) owner. He's not living with the dog 24/7, and certainly doesn't get to judge your need to crate him! Nor does he get to show up at random times. Your desire to fire him is completely reasonable under the circumstances.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:06 PM on November 13, 2015 [6 favorites]
None of what you're describing sounds remotely acceptable to me as a fellow pet (if not dog) owner. He's not living with the dog 24/7, and certainly doesn't get to judge your need to crate him! Nor does he get to show up at random times. Your desire to fire him is completely reasonable under the circumstances.
posted by thomas j wise at 7:06 PM on November 13, 2015 [6 favorites]
First off, thank you for adopting a senior dog and giving him a happy life! It would be fair to let him go saying it doesn't seem like you are on the same page with things like consistency of walk times and the crating idea. Lots of people crate their dogs. Even more crate their new dogs until they know they can be left to roam free safely. You don't deserve to be judged for that choice. At 11, your dog deserves consistency both in his walks and in the house rules regardless of who is enforcing them. I think you just found out why your walker is so cheap.
PS- He's adorable!
posted by cecic at 7:10 PM on November 13, 2015 [7 favorites]
PS- He's adorable!
posted by cecic at 7:10 PM on November 13, 2015 [7 favorites]
As a former professional dog-walker: if you're already this uncomfortable and worried about it, find someone else. These seeds of doubt do no favors to either party and can become toxic awfully quickly.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:14 PM on November 13, 2015 [26 favorites]
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:14 PM on November 13, 2015 [26 favorites]
I like a bargain, so I'd give an explicitly final warning about the term 'cage,' and about being late. Presumably you already said you don't like the cage-shoving-into. But if you just want to drop him because you don't want him to have any more of your money or you're too concerned about the dog, that is completely okay. You won't be the first to switch from him to the higher-priced dog walker.
posted by michaelh at 7:18 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by michaelh at 7:18 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
My friend has a dog who went buckwild with separation anxiety and was just miserable, destroyed vast swathes of property and hurt himself trying to get out of the house (he chewed through screen and broke window glass and cut himself so she came home to a horrifying bloody mess and a miserable, still-bleeding dog). She did everything she could think of, shutting him in various rooms, trying to exercise him for hours when she was home so that he'd be exhausted. Nothing worked; he was chewing everything to ribbons and then peeing on it all day all the while she was away. Finally she ran into a dog trainer at the farmers' market and the trainer heard the story and said, for the love of god crate the dog! So she did and it was like night and day. I can attest that the dog is much MUCH calmer and more even tempered now than it was before the advent of the crate and no longer seems liable to stroke out any second. This dogwalker is just wrong. Don't feel bad about crating your dog: it saved my friend's dog's life, no question, and he's much happier.
posted by Don Pepino at 7:21 PM on November 13, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by Don Pepino at 7:21 PM on November 13, 2015 [11 favorites]
Best answer: I'm gonna say something I say on here a lot. You don't need a reason, if you just feel uncomfortable. You can just say "this isn't going to work out, sorry".
I realize that can feel hard and they might give pushback, but seriously, you don't need a justification here. Businesses do this all the time as "not a good fit".
posted by emptythought at 7:21 PM on November 13, 2015 [28 favorites]
I realize that can feel hard and they might give pushback, but seriously, you don't need a justification here. Businesses do this all the time as "not a good fit".
posted by emptythought at 7:21 PM on November 13, 2015 [28 favorites]
I'm a dog walker. This guy sounds like a bad fit. That's okay.
I've been fired by clients (and fired clients), and it's no big thing.
Just call him and say you've made other arrangements.
posted by whowearsthepants at 7:27 PM on November 13, 2015 [4 favorites]
I've been fired by clients (and fired clients), and it's no big thing.
Just call him and say you've made other arrangements.
posted by whowearsthepants at 7:27 PM on November 13, 2015 [4 favorites]
Hi, I'm another dog walker. (Sure are a lot of us here!) A few thoughts:
Any dog walker should know about crating and understand that it's a legitimate and humane way of dealing with some of the issues dogs have. This is a very basic piece of knowledge, and the fact that he doesn't seem to be familiar with crate training is a red flag.
It sounds like his attitude kind of sucks and he's probably one of those dudes who thinks he knows best about every dog. I have my own ideas and opinions about dog rearing, but I always listen to and trust my clients to make the right decisions for their own dogs. I never impose my own opinions about training/feeding/medical stuff unless specifically asked to weigh in. (I wonder a little bit if he's sounding a little more harsh than he means to because you're communicating via text messages. It can be really hard to seem cheerful and upbeat in texts sometimes, especially with you're talking about things like uncooperative dogs and such.)
The price is not a good sign if for no reason other than he probably won't be able to stay in business for long. He'll either have to take on way too many jobs to stay afloat and get burned out, or he won't be able to support himself. If you want a long-term setup with a dog walker (or really with pretty much any service provider), you need to be paying them enough to support themselves.
However, please do keep in mind that a) dogs often behave differently with their owners than they do with others, and b) you've only had your pup for two weeks, so the fact that he has never refused to go into his crate with you up until this point doesn't really say much, IMHO. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you rushed a bit into crating your dog without taking time to really acclimate him to the crate. Totally understandable given the coat rack incident, but that could explain why he doesn't love the crate and is reluctant to go in there.
Lastly, regarding timing: I do think you need to either relax on the timeframe you expect your dog walker to arrive, or you should be very explicit in your needs with your next dog walker (i.e., "I need someone who can come no earlier than 12:00 and no later than 1:00"). I ask most of my clients for a 2-3 hour window. There are just too many variables for me to be able to guarantee a specific time -- People cancel at the last minute so everything shifts a little earlier. People text at 10am asking if I can squeeze them in for a mid-day walk. My second dog of the day has diarrhea on the carpet and I spend an additional 20 minutes dealing with that. Client is home and keeps me at the house a little longer chatting. Traffic is extra crazy. Ad infinitum. If your dog being in the crate an extra 40 minutes is really a problem, then you need to either find an alternative arrangement (like doggie daycare) or have your dog walker come twice a day.
One parting thought: Dinsford is totally precious and I would like to kiss his face.
posted by kitty teeth at 8:46 PM on November 13, 2015 [20 favorites]
Any dog walker should know about crating and understand that it's a legitimate and humane way of dealing with some of the issues dogs have. This is a very basic piece of knowledge, and the fact that he doesn't seem to be familiar with crate training is a red flag.
It sounds like his attitude kind of sucks and he's probably one of those dudes who thinks he knows best about every dog. I have my own ideas and opinions about dog rearing, but I always listen to and trust my clients to make the right decisions for their own dogs. I never impose my own opinions about training/feeding/medical stuff unless specifically asked to weigh in. (I wonder a little bit if he's sounding a little more harsh than he means to because you're communicating via text messages. It can be really hard to seem cheerful and upbeat in texts sometimes, especially with you're talking about things like uncooperative dogs and such.)
The price is not a good sign if for no reason other than he probably won't be able to stay in business for long. He'll either have to take on way too many jobs to stay afloat and get burned out, or he won't be able to support himself. If you want a long-term setup with a dog walker (or really with pretty much any service provider), you need to be paying them enough to support themselves.
However, please do keep in mind that a) dogs often behave differently with their owners than they do with others, and b) you've only had your pup for two weeks, so the fact that he has never refused to go into his crate with you up until this point doesn't really say much, IMHO. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you rushed a bit into crating your dog without taking time to really acclimate him to the crate. Totally understandable given the coat rack incident, but that could explain why he doesn't love the crate and is reluctant to go in there.
Lastly, regarding timing: I do think you need to either relax on the timeframe you expect your dog walker to arrive, or you should be very explicit in your needs with your next dog walker (i.e., "I need someone who can come no earlier than 12:00 and no later than 1:00"). I ask most of my clients for a 2-3 hour window. There are just too many variables for me to be able to guarantee a specific time -- People cancel at the last minute so everything shifts a little earlier. People text at 10am asking if I can squeeze them in for a mid-day walk. My second dog of the day has diarrhea on the carpet and I spend an additional 20 minutes dealing with that. Client is home and keeps me at the house a little longer chatting. Traffic is extra crazy. Ad infinitum. If your dog being in the crate an extra 40 minutes is really a problem, then you need to either find an alternative arrangement (like doggie daycare) or have your dog walker come twice a day.
One parting thought: Dinsford is totally precious and I would like to kiss his face.
posted by kitty teeth at 8:46 PM on November 13, 2015 [20 favorites]
I feel that dogs need structure and it isn't fair to be so lackadaisical with timing.
Structure yes, but I don't think your adorable dog can read a clock. Twenty or thirty minutes in variation of walk time probably isn't going to affect him very much at all. Fire this dog walker for all of the other reasons you list, but the timing thing seems more for your own benefit than your dog's.
posted by axiom at 9:06 PM on November 13, 2015 [18 favorites]
Structure yes, but I don't think your adorable dog can read a clock. Twenty or thirty minutes in variation of walk time probably isn't going to affect him very much at all. Fire this dog walker for all of the other reasons you list, but the timing thing seems more for your own benefit than your dog's.
posted by axiom at 9:06 PM on November 13, 2015 [18 favorites]
If he were only judgmental regarding a perfectly logical and non-damaging (in this case, safer than leaving him out to roam the house) containment method, I might have said to consider another walker, but not necessarily fire him immediately.
But he shows up regularly late (and not by a few minutes) and - the main issue - tried to force your dog into a crate that he's only just learning to like in the first place. Nope. Absolutely not. Hire his competitor instead, and make sure the competitor understands what positive reinforcement/association is and how to do it correctly. Make the person demonstrate it in front of you if it would make you feel more comfortable; I know it would me.
I think you're right to think about firing this guy. It seems like he's not right for your dog.
posted by Urban Winter at 10:31 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
But he shows up regularly late (and not by a few minutes) and - the main issue - tried to force your dog into a crate that he's only just learning to like in the first place. Nope. Absolutely not. Hire his competitor instead, and make sure the competitor understands what positive reinforcement/association is and how to do it correctly. Make the person demonstrate it in front of you if it would make you feel more comfortable; I know it would me.
I think you're right to think about firing this guy. It seems like he's not right for your dog.
posted by Urban Winter at 10:31 PM on November 13, 2015 [1 favorite]
Fire him, wow, what an asshole! First of all, I am wild about my dog (who is a senior rescue dog who looks a lot like yours!), and I have insane amounts of guilt about leaving her alone and basically never do for more than an hour because she's really old and I'm really attached to her. (Though if I was to do it all over, I would have left her alone more often because I think I created this monster by coddling her). Despite the great lengths I will go to coddle my dog, I know that she is a dog. She is not a person. You're not shoving a toddler in a crate, you're putting a dog into a crate because dogs need quiet, safe spaces and they especially need you to enforce that if they have the kind of anxiety that could cause them to eat something that would kill them. This jackass is trying to guilt you for keeping your dog safe, and that is unacceptable.
It's not on you that he forced the dog into the crate because you didn't explicitly tell him not to. Like, professional dog walkers understand how dogs work, and he's probably lying about not being able to get the dog in the crate, seriously. Dogs watch humans closely for cues on how to react because their relationship with us has evolved to rely on us. Your dog is probably picking up this guy's (stupid) belief that the crate is bad and you need to find a dog walker who respects you and is actively working to make your dog excited about the crate at the end of every walk. Trust your instincts, this dog walker isn't going to do that.
The timing thing, though, even my amazing dog walker who was some kind of organizational wizard varied when she showed up, I don't think that's something to fire someone over, it's just the nature of their job. Even my dog with pretty shoddy bladder control doesn't have any problem sleeping until I'm ready to go outside, and that varies by a few hours every day, so I don't think it'll be a big deal to your pup if a dog walker shows up at a different time each day (within an hour or so.)
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 1:21 AM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
It's not on you that he forced the dog into the crate because you didn't explicitly tell him not to. Like, professional dog walkers understand how dogs work, and he's probably lying about not being able to get the dog in the crate, seriously. Dogs watch humans closely for cues on how to react because their relationship with us has evolved to rely on us. Your dog is probably picking up this guy's (stupid) belief that the crate is bad and you need to find a dog walker who respects you and is actively working to make your dog excited about the crate at the end of every walk. Trust your instincts, this dog walker isn't going to do that.
The timing thing, though, even my amazing dog walker who was some kind of organizational wizard varied when she showed up, I don't think that's something to fire someone over, it's just the nature of their job. Even my dog with pretty shoddy bladder control doesn't have any problem sleeping until I'm ready to go outside, and that varies by a few hours every day, so I don't think it'll be a big deal to your pup if a dog walker shows up at a different time each day (within an hour or so.)
posted by the thorn bushes have roses at 1:21 AM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks so much for all the helpful feedback here!
Just to head this off / clarify that I really am doing my best not to rush my dog:
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you rushed a bit into crating your dog without taking time to really acclimate him to the crate. Totally understandable given the coat rack incident, but that could explain why he doesn't love the crate and is reluctant to go in there.
I actually did work up to the crate. It had to be slightly faster than ideal, but I took significant time off of work during his first week here to acclimate him. We're doing all the "right" things, to help him associate the crate with Good Things. This is the first time he has ever exhibited any reluctance about entering the crate, and as I noted, the video footage I've taken of him when I'm away shows that he settles down and naps just a few minutes after I leave.
Point taken, though, that it's only been two weeks and that dogs do act differently away from their owners.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 1:21 AM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Just to head this off / clarify that I really am doing my best not to rush my dog:
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you rushed a bit into crating your dog without taking time to really acclimate him to the crate. Totally understandable given the coat rack incident, but that could explain why he doesn't love the crate and is reluctant to go in there.
I actually did work up to the crate. It had to be slightly faster than ideal, but I took significant time off of work during his first week here to acclimate him. We're doing all the "right" things, to help him associate the crate with Good Things. This is the first time he has ever exhibited any reluctance about entering the crate, and as I noted, the video footage I've taken of him when I'm away shows that he settles down and naps just a few minutes after I leave.
Point taken, though, that it's only been two weeks and that dogs do act differently away from their owners.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 1:21 AM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Best answer: i wonder to what extent the walker's attitude about the crate has exacerbated the problem. you're trying heard to make the crate a safe place. is the walker trying to the same degree, or sharing their negative feelings with the dog?
posted by andrewcooke at 3:14 AM on November 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by andrewcooke at 3:14 AM on November 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
The dude has an attitude problem. You don't need to rationalize or justify the way you treat your own dog or the way you want your dog treated. "When you return, but the dog in his kennel. That's the way I want it done. Is there a problem?"
Insist on the same time every day. Tell him, "I'm not okay with lateness, in the future, please be more prompt. Thank you."
If he can't respect these two things, look elsewhere. Yeah he's cheap, but at what cost?
posted by Piedmont_Americana at 4:47 AM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
Insist on the same time every day. Tell him, "I'm not okay with lateness, in the future, please be more prompt. Thank you."
If he can't respect these two things, look elsewhere. Yeah he's cheap, but at what cost?
posted by Piedmont_Americana at 4:47 AM on November 14, 2015 [1 favorite]
I would not be comfortable with a dog walker so dumb he doesn't understand a crate is a valid training tool, however cheap he may be.
posted by winna at 4:50 AM on November 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by winna at 4:50 AM on November 14, 2015 [3 favorites]
Before finding someone else, I'd give this guy a chance to correct himself. Tell him that the dog (who is gorgeous and clearly a super genius) needs to be walked between the hours of 12 and 1. An hour window seems reasonable for a dog walker and for a dog's schedule. You may be reading too much into his crate remarks, you may not. He's certainly entitled to his opinion, but you're not paying him for his opinion, you're paying him for walkies and for putting the dog back into the crate.
Him texting you that the dog didn't want to go back into the crate, in my mind, wasn't judgmental; it was accurate. The dog DIDN'T want to go back into the crate. I give this guy props for telling you.
I'd contact him, give him an hour window for walkies, tell him you appreciate he's putting the dog in the crate and you also really appreciate him notifying you when the dog doesn't want to go back in.
posted by kinetic at 5:20 AM on November 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Him texting you that the dog didn't want to go back into the crate, in my mind, wasn't judgmental; it was accurate. The dog DIDN'T want to go back into the crate. I give this guy props for telling you.
I'd contact him, give him an hour window for walkies, tell him you appreciate he's putting the dog in the crate and you also really appreciate him notifying you when the dog doesn't want to go back in.
posted by kinetic at 5:20 AM on November 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thanks again, everyone! Your feedback here has been super helpful and I'm so grateful you all took the time to weigh in.
I have decided to let him go, mostly because I am uncomfortable with him, which in turn stresses me out, which in turn stresses my pup out. His lack of experience with dogs (not knowing that shoving one into a crate was inappropriate) also worries me a lot. And he emailed me last night saying he thought the walks were going well, and that my dog seemed to be perfect for a 30 min walk, because he spaced out his urination over the course of the walk. A professional dog walker who doesn't understand marking? Really? I promise you, my dog does not have some finely-calibrated bladder that requires him to pee in tablespoon increments over the course of a half hour... I just get the sense that he hasn't spent all that much time with dogs and doesn't really get how they think and work.
I also really appreciate the reality check about arrival time. We're meeting a new potential walker tomorrow and I'll stress the importance of being relatively consistent, but I'm also going to relax my expectations about a precise arrival time, since occasional lateness in this field is inevitable.
One last thing, just for clarification's sake:
Him texting you that the dog didn't want to go back into the crate, in my mind, wasn't judgmental; it was accurate.
I totally agree (though I have to wonder, like andrewcooke, if my dog was reluctant to enter the crate because he was feeding off of the walker's negativity around the crate). I was glad he told me so I could find a workaround. But his follow-up texts, about how my dog seemed generally unhappy with the crate, definitely implied that I was cruel for using the crate, which is judgmental (and, of course, untrue).
posted by schroedingersgirl at 6:24 AM on November 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
I have decided to let him go, mostly because I am uncomfortable with him, which in turn stresses me out, which in turn stresses my pup out. His lack of experience with dogs (not knowing that shoving one into a crate was inappropriate) also worries me a lot. And he emailed me last night saying he thought the walks were going well, and that my dog seemed to be perfect for a 30 min walk, because he spaced out his urination over the course of the walk. A professional dog walker who doesn't understand marking? Really? I promise you, my dog does not have some finely-calibrated bladder that requires him to pee in tablespoon increments over the course of a half hour... I just get the sense that he hasn't spent all that much time with dogs and doesn't really get how they think and work.
I also really appreciate the reality check about arrival time. We're meeting a new potential walker tomorrow and I'll stress the importance of being relatively consistent, but I'm also going to relax my expectations about a precise arrival time, since occasional lateness in this field is inevitable.
One last thing, just for clarification's sake:
Him texting you that the dog didn't want to go back into the crate, in my mind, wasn't judgmental; it was accurate.
I totally agree (though I have to wonder, like andrewcooke, if my dog was reluctant to enter the crate because he was feeding off of the walker's negativity around the crate). I was glad he told me so I could find a workaround. But his follow-up texts, about how my dog seemed generally unhappy with the crate, definitely implied that I was cruel for using the crate, which is judgmental (and, of course, untrue).
posted by schroedingersgirl at 6:24 AM on November 14, 2015 [5 favorites]
Hey! So I know you already resolved this, but I'm a dog walker and thought I'd weigh in for future readers of this question or maybe to help you figure out what you're really looking for/adjust your expectations.
First things first, walking a dog that is a brand new rescue can be hard. The dog doesn't know the routine, and now I'm yet ANOTHER aspect of the new setup which is weird and scary and unknowable. This means that a lot of basic stuff like "get dog to go on walk with you at all" can be really difficult, in ways that the dog's owner (you, in this case) just doesn't understand because the dog is not doing this stuff around them.
The first time I walked the dog I currently walk, I had to dismantle his kennel to get him out because it turns out that a stranger coming into your apartment in the middle of the day is scary, and the kennel is your safe space, and no way in hell are you coming out to get murdered by this obvious psycho monster. It can be *that* different from the dynamic between a dog and its owner.
I have had a few times when I couldn't get a dog to go back in the kennel after the walk. My response was basically to make sure the dog was safe, had access to water, and couldn't get into anything fragile/irreplaceable/etc. and then let the owner know what the situation was. Shoving a dog in who doesn't want to go is a bad idea, but if you've made it clear that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is the dog to be left uncrated, what the hell else is there to do? Crate or crate not, there is no middle ground. You know?
Regarding lateness, it's not ideal, and yeah, if after what amounts to like a week the walker is already late often enough that it's a pattern, that is probably a sign that this dog walker is not for you. But lateness happens. Sometimes traffic is bad. Sometimes something comes up (especially if you're dealing with multiple dogs, because if Dog A won't go back in the kennel or has messy diarrhea or SIMPLY WILL NOT PEE then you can't possibly be on time for Dog B). The bottom line is that labs have pretty large bladders/digestive systems, and they can typically hold it for several hours. Unless you leave at like 5 AM or something (assuming a healthy adult dog?), being half an hour or an hour late is not going to make any real difference to the dog. I get that you don't like your dog being alone for longer than strictly necessary, but again, assuming your dog can be alone in general*, an hour here or there is not going to pose a real problem to anything but your own personal feelings about life. An hour late every day is not workable, and if you were otherwise happy with your walker I'd suggest rescheduling the walk so that your walker can actually make the walks happen when you need them to happen. Frankly, the person whose dog I walk has me drop by within a certain window, rather than at 1PM on the dot, and that works well. Me arriving at 1:36 vs. 12:59 doesn't appear to make any difference to the dog (and mind you this is a chihuahua with a teensy bladder), and it's frankly not worth the owner stressing about. (I'm also curious about exactly how stressed out vs. how much slack you cut *yourself* if you are late getting home to your dog.)
Communication is also really important. If anything doesn't go according to plan, I text the owner immediately. I let her know if I'm running late, if the dog ran for his favorite under-the-bed hiding spot and now will not go to the kennel, if the pee/poop situation is unusual, really anything that comes up. And I trust her to let me know if we need to do something different today (she often asks for longer walks or needs to shift the time of our walk, which is another reason a range rather than a hard time is good, and could be a reason for your previous walker's lateness if they are walking multiple dogs around the same time).
Cutting each other some slack is also good. There have been a few times when the owner sent her dog to daycare or took a sick day and forgot to cancel the walk. There have been a few times I was late or the dog wouldn't go back in the kennel. We're all human beings doing the best we can.
Re the whole kennel issue, how well crate trained is your dog? Does he go in on command, every single time? Does he go in on another person's command? Even the command of a stranger? If your dog needs a reward to go into the crate, does he accept rewards** from everyone, every single time, even strangers, no matter what? Is the crate your dog's favoritest place ever, or does he need to be cajoled into it? This has been a significant issue with the dog I'm walking, who is OK with the kennel but won't go in on command, and has on occasion resisted going back into the kennel after a walk.
*If your dog really can't be alone, or can't handle it for longer than a strict amount of time that you are distinctly aware of and has real consequences, you should make arrangements that are likely to actually work for everyone involved. If there is a hard window, schedule the walk for significantly before your dog reaches that point.
**This was a huge problem early on with the dog I currently walk. He is not super food motivated, and as a recent rescue he was very skittish. He would not take food of any kind, even the most high-value treat, from a stranger. So there was no way to easily trick him into doing what I wanted him to do. Either he had to want whatever it was or I had to physically force him to do it.
posted by Sara C. at 10:47 AM on November 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
First things first, walking a dog that is a brand new rescue can be hard. The dog doesn't know the routine, and now I'm yet ANOTHER aspect of the new setup which is weird and scary and unknowable. This means that a lot of basic stuff like "get dog to go on walk with you at all" can be really difficult, in ways that the dog's owner (you, in this case) just doesn't understand because the dog is not doing this stuff around them.
The first time I walked the dog I currently walk, I had to dismantle his kennel to get him out because it turns out that a stranger coming into your apartment in the middle of the day is scary, and the kennel is your safe space, and no way in hell are you coming out to get murdered by this obvious psycho monster. It can be *that* different from the dynamic between a dog and its owner.
I have had a few times when I couldn't get a dog to go back in the kennel after the walk. My response was basically to make sure the dog was safe, had access to water, and couldn't get into anything fragile/irreplaceable/etc. and then let the owner know what the situation was. Shoving a dog in who doesn't want to go is a bad idea, but if you've made it clear that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is the dog to be left uncrated, what the hell else is there to do? Crate or crate not, there is no middle ground. You know?
Regarding lateness, it's not ideal, and yeah, if after what amounts to like a week the walker is already late often enough that it's a pattern, that is probably a sign that this dog walker is not for you. But lateness happens. Sometimes traffic is bad. Sometimes something comes up (especially if you're dealing with multiple dogs, because if Dog A won't go back in the kennel or has messy diarrhea or SIMPLY WILL NOT PEE then you can't possibly be on time for Dog B). The bottom line is that labs have pretty large bladders/digestive systems, and they can typically hold it for several hours. Unless you leave at like 5 AM or something (assuming a healthy adult dog?), being half an hour or an hour late is not going to make any real difference to the dog. I get that you don't like your dog being alone for longer than strictly necessary, but again, assuming your dog can be alone in general*, an hour here or there is not going to pose a real problem to anything but your own personal feelings about life. An hour late every day is not workable, and if you were otherwise happy with your walker I'd suggest rescheduling the walk so that your walker can actually make the walks happen when you need them to happen. Frankly, the person whose dog I walk has me drop by within a certain window, rather than at 1PM on the dot, and that works well. Me arriving at 1:36 vs. 12:59 doesn't appear to make any difference to the dog (and mind you this is a chihuahua with a teensy bladder), and it's frankly not worth the owner stressing about. (I'm also curious about exactly how stressed out vs. how much slack you cut *yourself* if you are late getting home to your dog.)
Communication is also really important. If anything doesn't go according to plan, I text the owner immediately. I let her know if I'm running late, if the dog ran for his favorite under-the-bed hiding spot and now will not go to the kennel, if the pee/poop situation is unusual, really anything that comes up. And I trust her to let me know if we need to do something different today (she often asks for longer walks or needs to shift the time of our walk, which is another reason a range rather than a hard time is good, and could be a reason for your previous walker's lateness if they are walking multiple dogs around the same time).
Cutting each other some slack is also good. There have been a few times when the owner sent her dog to daycare or took a sick day and forgot to cancel the walk. There have been a few times I was late or the dog wouldn't go back in the kennel. We're all human beings doing the best we can.
Re the whole kennel issue, how well crate trained is your dog? Does he go in on command, every single time? Does he go in on another person's command? Even the command of a stranger? If your dog needs a reward to go into the crate, does he accept rewards** from everyone, every single time, even strangers, no matter what? Is the crate your dog's favoritest place ever, or does he need to be cajoled into it? This has been a significant issue with the dog I'm walking, who is OK with the kennel but won't go in on command, and has on occasion resisted going back into the kennel after a walk.
*If your dog really can't be alone, or can't handle it for longer than a strict amount of time that you are distinctly aware of and has real consequences, you should make arrangements that are likely to actually work for everyone involved. If there is a hard window, schedule the walk for significantly before your dog reaches that point.
**This was a huge problem early on with the dog I currently walk. He is not super food motivated, and as a recent rescue he was very skittish. He would not take food of any kind, even the most high-value treat, from a stranger. So there was no way to easily trick him into doing what I wanted him to do. Either he had to want whatever it was or I had to physically force him to do it.
posted by Sara C. at 10:47 AM on November 14, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: You know, normally I wouldn't respond to this type of answer, but I really don't want the people of MetaFilter to think I'm an awful dog owner, so...
Shoving a dog in who doesn't want to go is a bad idea, but if you've made it clear that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is the dog to be left uncrated, what the hell else is there to do?
How about texting before shoving? If I were in my dog walker's shoes on Friday, I would have texted as soon as the dog was reluctant to enter the crate and asked how to handle it. In this case, the response would have been the same - I'd still have immediately responded and asked him to put the dog in my bedroom (sans earrings and lipstick!) - but my dog wouldn't have been unnecessarily shoved. No offense, but this seems like kind of a no-brainer.
But lateness happens... and it's frankly not worth the owner stressing about.
I already acknowledged in my last follow-up that the other answers here had helped me reevaluate and relax my expectations regarding timing and lateness. But thanks for beating it in further?
I'm also curious about exactly how stressed out vs. how much slack you cut *yourself* if you are late getting home to your dog.
I'm not sure what you're suggesting, exactly. I'm certainly not holding the dog walker to higher standards re: timeliness than I hold myself. I've made it very clear to all of my coworkers that I now leave at 5pm on the nose every day, and that if urgent work comes up late in the day I will do it from home with my pup curled up next to me. So far I have not been late. I'm sure I will be eventually, but I can't imagine being more than say, 15 minutes late, due to the nature of my workplace and the distance between my office and my home.
Cutting each other some slack is also good.
Right. And yet, this dog walker was completely unwilling to cut me any slack over the fact that I have a newly-adopted shelter dog who is still settling into his new home. Slack-cutting generally needs to go both ways to be effective.
Look, I get it, I'm not a perfect dog owner. That's been made crystal clear. But my dog is healthy and happy, and overcoming his separation anxiety more every day, and the vet tells me he seems remarkably well-adjusted given his age and time spent at the shelter. And that's good enough for now.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 5:27 AM on November 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
Shoving a dog in who doesn't want to go is a bad idea, but if you've made it clear that UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is the dog to be left uncrated, what the hell else is there to do?
How about texting before shoving? If I were in my dog walker's shoes on Friday, I would have texted as soon as the dog was reluctant to enter the crate and asked how to handle it. In this case, the response would have been the same - I'd still have immediately responded and asked him to put the dog in my bedroom (sans earrings and lipstick!) - but my dog wouldn't have been unnecessarily shoved. No offense, but this seems like kind of a no-brainer.
But lateness happens... and it's frankly not worth the owner stressing about.
I already acknowledged in my last follow-up that the other answers here had helped me reevaluate and relax my expectations regarding timing and lateness. But thanks for beating it in further?
I'm also curious about exactly how stressed out vs. how much slack you cut *yourself* if you are late getting home to your dog.
I'm not sure what you're suggesting, exactly. I'm certainly not holding the dog walker to higher standards re: timeliness than I hold myself. I've made it very clear to all of my coworkers that I now leave at 5pm on the nose every day, and that if urgent work comes up late in the day I will do it from home with my pup curled up next to me. So far I have not been late. I'm sure I will be eventually, but I can't imagine being more than say, 15 minutes late, due to the nature of my workplace and the distance between my office and my home.
Cutting each other some slack is also good.
Right. And yet, this dog walker was completely unwilling to cut me any slack over the fact that I have a newly-adopted shelter dog who is still settling into his new home. Slack-cutting generally needs to go both ways to be effective.
Look, I get it, I'm not a perfect dog owner. That's been made crystal clear. But my dog is healthy and happy, and overcoming his separation anxiety more every day, and the vet tells me he seems remarkably well-adjusted given his age and time spent at the shelter. And that's good enough for now.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 5:27 AM on November 15, 2015 [4 favorites]
If you're a dog walker, the perfectly normal problems described should not be unusual. If you're any good at your job, you should be able to handle perfectly normal problems.
shroedingersgirl, no one with any sense would think you were a bad dog owner or that your concerns were unusual.
posted by winna at 8:28 AM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
shroedingersgirl, no one with any sense would think you were a bad dog owner or that your concerns were unusual.
posted by winna at 8:28 AM on November 15, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by dilettante at 6:58 PM on November 13, 2015 [21 favorites]