How to be a (non-creepy) sperm donor?
November 9, 2015 12:13 PM Subscribe
In my U.S. state (Michigan), there is one sperm bank, and it's about an hour and fifteen minutes away, which makes going that route somewhat difficult (it requires weekly deposits for a year and generally takes only medical students). I've done some searches online, but several of the sites I've found come off as slightly creepy personals ads, which is something I'm not at all interested in. Are there any more legitimate/less disturbing sites or methods to go about this? Anything I haven't thought of yet?
This might seem like an odd question, but I'd appreciate any help you could give.
I'm happily married and have one beautiful adopted daughter (so far). We decided to go the adoption route after thinking long and hard about whether my wife was comfortable with getting pregnant due to her health history. Very recently, when deciding how we wanted to have a second child, we came to the conclusion that we just weren't comfortable with putting her health at risk.
However, I've always had a strong desire to pass on my genes, so to speak. I'm an only (biological) child - both my parents are dead, and my mom especially really, really wanted me to have kids biologically. Before making the decision to go with adoption a second time, I had pretty comprehensive fertility testing at a major university's reproductive health clinic, which showed that I was doing very well on that front.
After seeing how much having a child has changed my life, knowing how emotional these decisions can be, and weighing my desire to pass on my family's genes, I'm very interested in sperm donation. It just feels right that, while I may not be able to raise kids that are biologically related to me, I could help out someone else to whom giving birth is very important. I've talked to my wife, and she's okay with this.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance to anyone reading this.
This might seem like an odd question, but I'd appreciate any help you could give.
I'm happily married and have one beautiful adopted daughter (so far). We decided to go the adoption route after thinking long and hard about whether my wife was comfortable with getting pregnant due to her health history. Very recently, when deciding how we wanted to have a second child, we came to the conclusion that we just weren't comfortable with putting her health at risk.
However, I've always had a strong desire to pass on my genes, so to speak. I'm an only (biological) child - both my parents are dead, and my mom especially really, really wanted me to have kids biologically. Before making the decision to go with adoption a second time, I had pretty comprehensive fertility testing at a major university's reproductive health clinic, which showed that I was doing very well on that front.
After seeing how much having a child has changed my life, knowing how emotional these decisions can be, and weighing my desire to pass on my family's genes, I'm very interested in sperm donation. It just feels right that, while I may not be able to raise kids that are biologically related to me, I could help out someone else to whom giving birth is very important. I've talked to my wife, and she's okay with this.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance to anyone reading this.
The Sperm Bank of California is a non-profit bank that has pioneered research and policy development on donor conception. Give them a call and talk to one of their counselors. They will be able to point you in the right direction.
posted by judith at 6:10 AM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by judith at 6:10 AM on November 10, 2015 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Can you clarify the question? Are you asking for another sperm bank closer to your home, or one that will accept donations by FedEx?
Are you asking for a sperm bank with ads that are more to your taste (can you show us the ads you object to), or one that does not advertise?
Thanks for replying. I'm looking to understand what options are out there. There are several websites like Known Donor Registry where people post ads, much like a personals site. A lot of the postings there are sincere, but there are also a lot that are basically men looking for sex, complete with OK Cupid-style pictures. There's a pretty active page on Voy.com which is even more so ("NI" = "natural insemination" = sex). So other sperm banks would be great, or other sites, or anything else, for that matter.
posted by tsulisdanali at 9:04 AM on November 10, 2015
Are you asking for a sperm bank with ads that are more to your taste (can you show us the ads you object to), or one that does not advertise?
Thanks for replying. I'm looking to understand what options are out there. There are several websites like Known Donor Registry where people post ads, much like a personals site. A lot of the postings there are sincere, but there are also a lot that are basically men looking for sex, complete with OK Cupid-style pictures. There's a pretty active page on Voy.com which is even more so ("NI" = "natural insemination" = sex). So other sperm banks would be great, or other sites, or anything else, for that matter.
posted by tsulisdanali at 9:04 AM on November 10, 2015
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Can you clarify the question? Are you asking for another sperm bank closer to your home, or one that will accept donations by FedEx?
Are you asking for a sperm bank with ads that are more to your taste (can you show us the ads you object to), or one that does not advertise?
posted by JimN2TAW at 2:55 PM on November 9, 2015 [1 favorite]