Funny boys, but I shouldn't be laughing.
November 4, 2015 9:14 AM Subscribe
The boys I support are constantly joking around and sometimes I find the jokes funny. How can I maintain a straight face?
I assist a class of nine boys aged 15, and they all have learning difficulties such as autism, speech and language difficulties, sickle cell disease, dyspraxia, etc. I genuinely enjoy working with this class, they listen to me and I feel like I have helped them a lot and feel bonded to them.
They have a very silly sense of humour however, and are always making jokes, possibly every five minutes or even less. They get told off by the teachers and I also calm them down.
I had my appraisal and it went really well, but so far no one has noticed me trying not to laugh (I turn really red), and am worried my boss will notice and I want to learn how to keep serious. I feel terrible for wanting to laugh, as it is quite a strict environment and I never see teachers laughing. I shouldn't encourage this behaviour and want to keep it as professional as possible. I've tried thinking of sad things, I've turned my back or done other tasks which has helped sometimes but not all the time. I also feel too old to have the same sense of humour as a 15 year old.
My laughing problem has been with me all my life. I used to get told off all the time for laughing in class, but I was laughing because of nervousness when the teacher was angry. I used to laugh when something sad happened, my dad does the same. I am much better at this but still sometimes laugh in uncomfortable moments when I'm not meant to. Generally though I am a calm person, but now I'm in a working environment I really shouldn't be laughing.
Sometimes though, the jokes they make are actually funny. In these cases I still shouldn't laugh, but I have smiled and gone red trying to keep it in. The boys have noticed and it encourages them to joke even more. I suppose as I am not a teacher, they feel like they can reach out to me on a more informal level, which is why they want to make me laugh or tell me their inside jokes. I tell them that I don't need to hear their jokes and that we need to focus on the work.
One boy called my name in a funny way, and I smiled and felt so bad afterwards because the other boys now think I was laughing at him as he is the one who struggles the most fitting in and making friends, but he likes me and wants to make me smile so says my name in that way to get me to laugh.
What can I do? Has this ever happened to you?
I assist a class of nine boys aged 15, and they all have learning difficulties such as autism, speech and language difficulties, sickle cell disease, dyspraxia, etc. I genuinely enjoy working with this class, they listen to me and I feel like I have helped them a lot and feel bonded to them.
They have a very silly sense of humour however, and are always making jokes, possibly every five minutes or even less. They get told off by the teachers and I also calm them down.
I had my appraisal and it went really well, but so far no one has noticed me trying not to laugh (I turn really red), and am worried my boss will notice and I want to learn how to keep serious. I feel terrible for wanting to laugh, as it is quite a strict environment and I never see teachers laughing. I shouldn't encourage this behaviour and want to keep it as professional as possible. I've tried thinking of sad things, I've turned my back or done other tasks which has helped sometimes but not all the time. I also feel too old to have the same sense of humour as a 15 year old.
My laughing problem has been with me all my life. I used to get told off all the time for laughing in class, but I was laughing because of nervousness when the teacher was angry. I used to laugh when something sad happened, my dad does the same. I am much better at this but still sometimes laugh in uncomfortable moments when I'm not meant to. Generally though I am a calm person, but now I'm in a working environment I really shouldn't be laughing.
Sometimes though, the jokes they make are actually funny. In these cases I still shouldn't laugh, but I have smiled and gone red trying to keep it in. The boys have noticed and it encourages them to joke even more. I suppose as I am not a teacher, they feel like they can reach out to me on a more informal level, which is why they want to make me laugh or tell me their inside jokes. I tell them that I don't need to hear their jokes and that we need to focus on the work.
One boy called my name in a funny way, and I smiled and felt so bad afterwards because the other boys now think I was laughing at him as he is the one who struggles the most fitting in and making friends, but he likes me and wants to make me smile so says my name in that way to get me to laugh.
What can I do? Has this ever happened to you?
One trick done by improv people is to bite your tongue softly. Its harder to laugh when you hold your tongue down.
posted by pando11 at 9:48 AM on November 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by pando11 at 9:48 AM on November 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Well, I'm a teacher who laughs when their kids make jokes, and I think, especially working with kids who have social issues, that it's great to laugh. You're acknowledging humor and bonding in a really healthy way.
Why are you getting the idea you're supposed to be humorless?
posted by kinetic at 10:42 AM on November 4, 2015 [24 favorites]
Why are you getting the idea you're supposed to be humorless?
posted by kinetic at 10:42 AM on November 4, 2015 [24 favorites]
Related to the tongue biting, I bite the inside of my cheek.
posted by mmascolino at 10:45 AM on November 4, 2015
posted by mmascolino at 10:45 AM on November 4, 2015
I mentally repeat the Act of Contrition in these circumstances, and it sobers me right up-- what works is the combination of deadly serious content + forced focus of attention away from the funny stimulus, I think.
If you're not Catholic, you could try memorizing some other very sad, very short poem-- the last verse of Cowper's "The Castaway," maybe? Or Macduff's speech on the murder of his children?-- to have as a handy funny-moment-eraser.
posted by Bardolph at 11:05 AM on November 4, 2015
If you're not Catholic, you could try memorizing some other very sad, very short poem-- the last verse of Cowper's "The Castaway," maybe? Or Macduff's speech on the murder of his children?-- to have as a handy funny-moment-eraser.
posted by Bardolph at 11:05 AM on November 4, 2015
Harness and encourage this creativity! Set aside time at the end of class for stand up comedy practice. Have them write down their jokes. Tell them to save it for the end of class and not spoil the audience ahead of time!
posted by theraflu at 11:35 AM on November 4, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by theraflu at 11:35 AM on November 4, 2015 [7 favorites]
Harness and encourage this creativity! Set aside time at the end of class for stand up comedy practice. Have them write down their jokes. Tell them to save it for the end of class and not spoil the audience ahead of time!
I LOVE this suggestion. I had a teacher for a few months in fourth grade who set aside time every Friday afternoon for what was basically open-mic night -- there were quite a few disruptive kids in that class, myself included, and having that specific time set aside where we could get up and talk and have everyone's attention for a couple of minutes really quelled the need to act out in class during the week.
posted by palomar at 12:06 PM on November 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
I LOVE this suggestion. I had a teacher for a few months in fourth grade who set aside time every Friday afternoon for what was basically open-mic night -- there were quite a few disruptive kids in that class, myself included, and having that specific time set aside where we could get up and talk and have everyone's attention for a couple of minutes really quelled the need to act out in class during the week.
posted by palomar at 12:06 PM on November 4, 2015 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Thank you for your answers! It is a strict school, and teachers don't laugh at their jokes, I don't want to show disrespect by laughing when they aren't. I'm an assistant so no power over the lessons. Excellent advice though about biting my cheek. In fact I will talk to my boss about maybe giving them a few minutes to share their jokes.
posted by akita at 1:43 PM on November 4, 2015
posted by akita at 1:43 PM on November 4, 2015
Is it that the jokes are inappropriate? Sexist, racist, demeaning, mean, scatalogical? Or that they're just silly? Because if just silly, I'd enjoy them. But if you're actually talking about jokes that are juvenile, hurtful, and inappropriate, then maybe concentrating on the harm they can do/are doing the kids and their targets might help you see them as more serious, less funny.
posted by Miko at 1:49 PM on November 4, 2015
posted by Miko at 1:49 PM on November 4, 2015
I understand not letting kids crack jokes all period because school. When my students are being goofy and making jokes I'll say, "Okay, you're hilarious, and I promise I'll give us five minutes at the end of class for awesome funnies if we work on science now but if it's really a culture where staff stays stony faced, I'd ask why that is.
If kids on the spectrum or with other social issues are being funny and staff remains flat, that's going to confuse the hell out of the kids or at the very least, alienate them.
But I get if you're an assistant in the class and following the lead of others who aren't reacting, then you need to not laugh. Bite the inside of your cheek.
posted by kinetic at 2:04 AM on November 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
If kids on the spectrum or with other social issues are being funny and staff remains flat, that's going to confuse the hell out of the kids or at the very least, alienate them.
But I get if you're an assistant in the class and following the lead of others who aren't reacting, then you need to not laugh. Bite the inside of your cheek.
posted by kinetic at 2:04 AM on November 5, 2015 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Etrigan at 9:38 AM on November 4, 2015 [1 favorite]