Flourishing in a supportive environment

November 3, 2015 12:26 PM

I am looking for stories, books, poems, data, or anecdotes, about people who have flourished (professionally, but also personally) when they have chosen an environment where they feel supported, loved, and connected.

Recently I have been struggling with aligning my life with what matters most to me. Years ago I felt I really flourished and pushed myself professionally while I was living relatively close to my family and close friends. I then lived abroad for several years and struggled. I missed my family, I worried about losing touch with them, and constantly looked forward in a very longing and somewhat desperate way to the visits when I would see them again. I was very lonely, and also felt very lost.

I have since relocated back to a city closer to my family. I am happy in this location, feel much more at peace, and am generally a lot more positive about my future (or, at least, worry less about it). After re-gaining equilibrium, I have since been looking to grow professionally and creatively within this milieu. However, a voice in the back of my head is constantly telling me that I am not pushing myself, that choosing this environment is the "safe" approach, and that I will look back and regret not having moved further away, not having pursued some imaginary "adventurous other life" in a foreign place.

So, in addition to therapy, I am looking for pieces of lit, or studies, or poems that I can read every now and then to remind myself that I am in a place that is aligned with how I want to live, with the connections I want to foster, and with the shape I want my life to take.

I know what is important to me, but in light of my self-criticisms, I need a bit of literary or anecdotal encouragement.

posted by hollypolly to Human Relations (3 answers total)

Best answer: I have some strong feelings about this issue and am the same kind of person as you. I am always on the lookout for media that addresses these ideas (i.e., valuing home, putting community above individualism, choosing connection over adventure) in a mature, interesting way, so I hope you get some responses. But meanwhile here are a few ideas:

-The book The Little Way of Ruthie Leming is about a man who admires, and eventually attempts to emulate, his sister's ability to put down roots in their small hometown; however, I haven't read it yet.
-You may enjoy authors like Wendell Berry (who writes both prose and poetry) and perhaps others associated with "agrarian" themes, who often write about the value of community.
-I believe the film It's a Wonderful Life is considered the canonical classic on this theme, although you didn't ask about movies.

I'll return if I think of more!
posted by honey wheat at 3:25 PM on November 3, 2015 [3 favorites]

Best answer: The narrators of these books come into their supportive environments less intentionally than you did, but you might find some encouragement from The Shipping News by Annie Proulx and Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler.
posted by Owlcat at 6:36 PM on November 3, 2015 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Microserfs by Douglas Coupland
Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin
posted by exceptinsects at 9:19 PM on November 3, 2015