Ye Olde Holiday Work Party.
December 9, 2005 10:49 AM   Subscribe

Ye Olde Holiday Work Party.

I'm 4 months deep in a new job at a small firm, and it's a requirement to give a short, possibly interactive presentation vaguely related to the company/owners. I am stumped! It's going to be an intoxicated night at a semi-nice restaurant, so a drinking game won't cut it. Any suggestions? Thanks all.
posted by icetaco to Work & Money (12 answers total)
 
Presentation on what? How would you have incorporate drinking games into it otherwise? I'm confused.
posted by geoff. at 10:51 AM on December 9, 2005


I think reading a funny version of Santa's naughty or nice list focusing on characteristics of the owners and employees might be fun.
posted by DragonBoy at 10:55 AM on December 9, 2005


A presentation? Do you mean a "roast" or something professional?
posted by necessitas at 10:56 AM on December 9, 2005


Make up an obviously fake company where you "used to work at" before coming to your new firm. The fake could be a parody of one of your company's competitors, if you like. Tell a story in which you compare and contrast the backwards, confusing, and outdated fake company with the one you currently work for. Steal librally from any Yakov Smirnoff jokes you can think of.

"In Soviet Company, the INSERT FUNNY ANECDOTE you! Here at Awesome Corp, INSERT KISSASS ANECDOTE! What a company!"
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:27 AM on December 9, 2005


Response by poster: It's more of an informal roast than a professional presentation. I am liking the fake Soviet company idea, robocop! I feel as though my public speaking skillz are not top notch though, and am unsure if I could really pull that one off...
posted by icetaco at 11:52 AM on December 9, 2005


Keep it short. <2 minutes.br>
Here are my 3 ideas.

1) Rather than roasting...Compliment everyone.
2) Graphic design is what you do, huh? Print up the latest company brochure...something serious on the outside, bad work on the inside. Go with the joke. Tell them you're interested in their feedback and you'd like to take the time to go over it with them at the party. Make sure to indicate not to open it. Begin to pontificate about graphic design, how it's underappreciated it.

Of course on the inside of the brochure - break every rule. 10 different fonts. Make fun of the company (not too much fun) or the product. Maybe add a line in about "I told you not to look yet in 96 point type.)

3) Wanna get out of it. It'll cost you about $5x however many people.

Tell them that you are buying them all a drink/shot etc. Make it something a bit novel (decent - whiskey, good tequila). Mention to the boss, that it was your money, that you bought it as a moment of appreciation of everyone you work with.

Everyone will remember it...especially your boss.
posted by filmgeek at 1:40 PM on December 9, 2005


I can tell you what not to do: do not produce an elaborate video featuring blackface characters speaking eubonics and then show it to 50 plus assembled coworkers including the one black guy that was just hired.

I watched someone do that, and it was one of the most embarrassing/disturbing experiences of my life.
posted by StickyCarpet at 2:05 PM on December 9, 2005


I would not recommend doing a Yakoff Smirnov bit at the party. I think that filmgeek has it. But turn it into something involving your status as a new guy.
posted by Ironmouth at 2:47 PM on December 9, 2005


oh man. I would not want to roast my boss after only 4 months on the job. It sounds like a REAL bad idea.
posted by trbrts at 3:47 PM on December 9, 2005


You could do a total clueless newbie routine, and list imaginary accomplishments of the company that have nothing to do with them. If your company makes financial software, praise the owners and managers for the success of the new release of their presentation software. Express great pride at working with such a great group of something-they're-not. Be a total and totally wrong suckup.
posted by theora55 at 6:29 PM on December 9, 2005


Go around the office and get people to tell you their stories of their absolute worst work experiences before coming to work at this new company. I mean, reach back -- were they flipping burgers or tending bar in college? Selling cars? Shoveling manure?

List their stories out -- make it funny -- and the present company will look good in comparison.
posted by frogan at 9:04 PM on December 9, 2005


The single most important thing to remember: Keep it short.

At a past employer, our MC / CEO devised an elaborate "Survivor meets Jeopardy" game show bit that dragged on for at least an hour at a company xmas party. The content was largely inside jokes and bullshit nobody cared about relating to the upper management in-crowd.

I'm guessing you wouldn't be asking mefi for material if you were naturally hilarious extemporaneously, so keep it short, keep it relevant, stay sober, and good luck!
posted by freq at 10:13 AM on December 10, 2005


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