Help me not commit some fashion faux-pas

October 22, 2015 5:22 AM

I am attending a reception at an embassy, starting at 6 pm. Dress code on the invitation says "business casual". Since my idea of work attire is jeans and a t-shirt (being a freelancer in a relaxed industry), I am in a bit of a bind. Difficult level: I only have got a few hours left. I can run to a Zara or a H&M if needed, but I'd rather not spend money.

Some well-meaning friends gave me advice and let me borrow their clothes. What I have right now (ah, I am a female, thirties): a pair of black slacks and a black blouse (not cleavage-revealing) with a fun cut. I have several écharpes I can choose from (orange, burgundy, etc). Is this okay?

Shoes: I borrowed a pair of black pumps (a bit like Mary Janes with a low heel).

Bag: Some friends say I should take a black clutch. This feels like way too much for me (and another friend agrees) , but I don't have a lot of choice in handbags and the like. No black leather handbags, anyway.

If it's relevant: the weather is balmy, in the 70s. I don't have dresses or any other non-denim pants, etc (having lost a bunch of weight, my wardrobe suffered).

I just want to know if what I have got is acceptable or if it's too much. I'd feel more at ease with "Dressy Casual", to be honest.

Help me, Metafilter?

posted by lost_lettuce to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (15 answers total)

It sounds fine up until the black clutch. You are right that it is too much. A more casual brown bag is appropriate.
posted by TORunner at 5:29 AM on October 22, 2015 [5 favorites]

It sounds fine, how well do the clothes fit and are you comfortable in them? that's going to be the single biggest factor of how put together you look. I'd go with dramatic jewelry over a scarf, but that's my own personal style.

I'd spend any $ you plan on spending on an appointment at a blow dry bar, and get my hair in proper shape. (I'm incompetent at nice hair, so for me this is a big pickmeup)
posted by larthegreat at 5:34 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: The blouse and the slacks fit well. People suggested the écharpe to cut the blackness, and because I won't be taking a jacket (due to weather and well, lack of options).

I have got some necklaces to choose from; would that be preferable?
posted by lost_lettuce at 5:41 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

It sounds fine to me, though very dark. The black clutch is indeed overkill in my opinion, but all my experience at embassy events is in DC, where basically everyone is in journalism, academia, civil service, or the military (i.e., it's a pretty dumpy crowd compared to London.)

In the future, for fashion questions it helps to know which embassy - at least give a general sense of which group of countries the embassy is in. What's appropriate at the Australian embassy may come off weird at the Somali or Ecuadoran embassies, and in my experience the Chinese embassy is so full of people in greenish military uniforms that everyone else looks weird by comparison.
posted by SMPA at 5:42 AM on October 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

In circles of women who study this stuff, wardrobe = speech. I very much don't know the language (especially I don't speak handbag--that's, like, Mandarin). I am nevertheless presuming to comment because my friend, who is the daughter of a diplomat, speaks clothes fluently, and black with a fun cut is her default. So I think that your outfit is just about perfect. As for what to carry, I say if you don't speak handbag, don't pretend you do. Carry something that says, "I am not trying. This thing is in a neutral color. Please do not attack." (Also, a couple summers ago I went to a yard party at the embassy in Lisbon and all the women dressed up not down, so if you like dressy casual, go with it. I forget what purse I had, but it was no doubt hilarious, as were my sandals. I had on this ridiculous lily pullitzer-looking knockoff dress I got at the vintage store at home--but it was the summer, and it was the yard, i.e., it didn't matter. Had it mattered, I'da consulted my friend and she'd've had me go with black and a fun cut for sure.)
posted by Don Pepino at 5:45 AM on October 22, 2015 [6 favorites]

Response by poster: Not to threadsit, but if it's relevant: US embassy in a Southern European country.
posted by lost_lettuce at 5:51 AM on October 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

Nix the clutch. Do you have your ears pierced? Any sort of jeweled studs or small gold hoops will work and H&M or Zara will have plenty of choices. A metal watch also works.

Grooming goes a long way -
Borrow or buy a cheap nail file and run a pass over your nails if they look ragged. No need for a manicure, you just want them neat and the same length.

Brush your hair. If you wear makeup, refresh the whole thing. If you don't, put on a touch of clear lip gloss or neutral lipstick.
posted by like_neon at 5:54 AM on October 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

I had an event once where I didn't have a bag to go with my outfit so I knotted the ends of a scarf together. Depending on the size of the scarf, it can be hand-carried or shouldered and it will add a bit of color or pattern.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:16 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm on my own it seems with thinking the black clutch would be good. If you're in all black I'd go for that, or at least a coloured bag - have you a red or white one? And I'd go for a necklace over a scarf definitely. But the outfit itself sounds totally fine and appropriate. Having had my own clothing dilemma here recently the best bit of advice I got is just to relax. You will look fine and no one will notice what you're wearing (I mean this in a good way!) unless you're ridiculously over/underdressed, by which I mean formal gown or tracksuit. Have fun!
posted by billiebee at 6:26 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

We JUST had a reception at "my" embassy yesterday (Asian embassy in Europe), and people wore all kinds of clothes. Most men were in suits or suit-ish oufits, but women varied from suits to dresses to casual-ish clothes. I don't remember anyone having a clutch, most had handbags. Go for a neat hairstyle and some make-up if you like to wear some - you don't have to. I'm assuming evening reception may mean a dinner as well, but even then, the photographers weren't super dressed up. If you're not a VIP guest, it might actually be better to be a bit underdressed than to stand out as super formal.

I wouldn't worry about it too much and maybe just try not to wear all black because it's neither a funeral nor a Chanel Fashion show.
posted by LoonyLovegood at 6:43 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

If you smile big enough, no one will notice what you are wearing. Walk around a bit in the shoes. If your feet hurt, that is all you will be thinking about all evening long. Do wear your necklaces. I use a black purse when I'm wearing black heels. It's sort of normal. If you need to carry a purse, then use the clutch. Don't try anything dramatic with your hair. Wear it clean and comfortable, the way you usually wear it. Do wear a bit more make-up than usual. Darkening in your eyebrows will take ten years off of your face and the right lip color will make you look fresh and energetic, even if you are tired. You are yourself wherever you go and yourself is a wondrous thing to be. Have fun!
posted by myselfasme at 6:46 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Ah! U.S. Embassy! I am a Foreign Service Officer who staffs said parties. What you describe sounds absolutely fine. These events always have people dressed a bit more formal, a bit less formal, the guy in ratty jeans, the guy in a suit, and the drunk guy who will buttonhole anyone with an ear to blab about something or other. Enjoy and avoid that guy!
posted by whitewall at 8:32 AM on October 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

Slacks and a blouse are fine. That is business casual. The scarf is fine.

You do not have to wear makeup or jewelry to meet a dress code.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:03 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Definitely go for a clutch or some other "classy" handbag if you mostly carry a tote or laptop bag or the like. I'm the same way, and I always find myself scrambling for a purse to carry to any nice event. Frankly, if you're going to spend money, a slightly more formal purse might be the place to do it, because then you'll have something for next time. (FWIW my "nice" purse came from H&M. It just needs to be not a backpack, y'know?)
posted by Sara C. at 10:42 AM on October 22, 2015 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks, everyone! It was fine, indeed. I ditched the clutch and just took some nice purse with me. But there were indeed people who showed up in ratty jeans and the like…
posted by lost_lettuce at 1:03 AM on October 23, 2015 [1 favorite]