Help me reframe this job offer
October 19, 2015 10:12 PM Subscribe
I have been offered a job I want but at a rate of pay that makes me feel, I hate to admit, insulted. The pay is reasonable enough from their side, how can I feel less devalued so I can take and enjoy this job.
I want this job and they know it. They probably don't have much more money to offer me (public sector), I would be one of the more highly paid in this role in this department, but the role is badly underpaid in this department compared to the organisation as a whole, partially because they have hired a number of people with very little experience or training. I have both. They agree that I am one of the best in the organisation at my job (I worked here previously). The pay they are offering is about 350 bucks a month less than I asked for but also 200 less than I have been earning in my most recent position. The pay is basically what I would have had at the standard cost-of-living adjustment if I had never left. I would probably be the next highest paid in the roll in the dept. They have said the offer they are making is the highest they can go, which I believe. The only possibility to adjust my pay afterwards will be the standard cost-of-living raise in another year from now. There are no other perqs available, including extra training etc.
I want to take the job, I know and like the colleagues, the location is good, the stress level and tasks are good, I don't even mind the lower pay than I had previously because of these things. How can I frame this mentally so that I don't get this bitter pang that they only want to pay me a hundred bucks over median when they agree I am going to perform in a different class to my peers. How do I look at this from a different angle so I don't feel resentment or taken advantage of. Can you suggest worksheets or exercises I can do?
I realise this a total first-world-problem, but I want to be able to enjoy this job fully and pay is one of the main ways I feel valued as my self image makes it difficult to believe verbal praise.
I want this job and they know it. They probably don't have much more money to offer me (public sector), I would be one of the more highly paid in this role in this department, but the role is badly underpaid in this department compared to the organisation as a whole, partially because they have hired a number of people with very little experience or training. I have both. They agree that I am one of the best in the organisation at my job (I worked here previously). The pay they are offering is about 350 bucks a month less than I asked for but also 200 less than I have been earning in my most recent position. The pay is basically what I would have had at the standard cost-of-living adjustment if I had never left. I would probably be the next highest paid in the roll in the dept. They have said the offer they are making is the highest they can go, which I believe. The only possibility to adjust my pay afterwards will be the standard cost-of-living raise in another year from now. There are no other perqs available, including extra training etc.
I want to take the job, I know and like the colleagues, the location is good, the stress level and tasks are good, I don't even mind the lower pay than I had previously because of these things. How can I frame this mentally so that I don't get this bitter pang that they only want to pay me a hundred bucks over median when they agree I am going to perform in a different class to my peers. How do I look at this from a different angle so I don't feel resentment or taken advantage of. Can you suggest worksheets or exercises I can do?
I realise this a total first-world-problem, but I want to be able to enjoy this job fully and pay is one of the main ways I feel valued as my self image makes it difficult to believe verbal praise.
It sounds like you've already done as good a job as you can of explaining to yourself why this isn't an insult. Specifically, it can't be an insult because insulting is something people do, and you know and appear to trust their motives. If I know somebody isn't capable of telling me how great my new glasses look—for specific reasons beyond their control, and totally unrelated to my great-looking new glasses—and they don't tell me how great my new glasses look, they are not insulting my great-looking new glasses.
It might also help to remember your own agency in this situation. A while back I took a very significant paycut (~25%, and from a low base) to move to a job I knew I'd love. Like you I knew that this company could not possibly offer me any more money than it did. Like you, I suspect, I knew the non-financial benefits I anticipated—lots of friends at the company, great projects to work on, reasonable hours, tons of flexibility—were, to me, clearly worth the $8000 a year I was giving up. (Pay isn't a way I feel valued, but if it were I would also have known that I was, as one of less than 20 employees at this tiny company, valued much higher than I was at my old job on a relative basis.)
They are valuing you to the maximum extent allowable by law. So maybe it will help to think about this in terms of what you'll get personally from walking into this situation as a full participant, eyes open.
posted by Polycarp at 12:17 AM on October 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
It might also help to remember your own agency in this situation. A while back I took a very significant paycut (~25%, and from a low base) to move to a job I knew I'd love. Like you I knew that this company could not possibly offer me any more money than it did. Like you, I suspect, I knew the non-financial benefits I anticipated—lots of friends at the company, great projects to work on, reasonable hours, tons of flexibility—were, to me, clearly worth the $8000 a year I was giving up. (Pay isn't a way I feel valued, but if it were I would also have known that I was, as one of less than 20 employees at this tiny company, valued much higher than I was at my old job on a relative basis.)
They are valuing you to the maximum extent allowable by law. So maybe it will help to think about this in terms of what you'll get personally from walking into this situation as a full participant, eyes open.
posted by Polycarp at 12:17 AM on October 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
You can negotiate other aspects of your compensation package to offset the low pay. Ask for another week of PTO - or ask them to reinstate you with no gap in service if that makes a difference for your leave, 401k match, pension etc. (It should if it's public sector.) They can't give you cash but they can give you something.
posted by headnsouth at 3:07 AM on October 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by headnsouth at 3:07 AM on October 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
I've done the salary-drop move in the distant past, and given your statement that you really do tie your pay to your perceived value as an employee, I advise you not to take this job.
I didn't have those feeling initially at all - for years, really. But as my salary failed to get back to that level, and other changes happened, it was something I thought about. Not a ton, but some. And I did not tie my compensation to my worth.
I suspect you will end up unhappy at this move.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:36 AM on October 20, 2015 [8 favorites]
I didn't have those feeling initially at all - for years, really. But as my salary failed to get back to that level, and other changes happened, it was something I thought about. Not a ton, but some. And I did not tie my compensation to my worth.
I suspect you will end up unhappy at this move.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:36 AM on October 20, 2015 [8 favorites]
Most of my friends in public sector jobs could earn much more by switching to the private sector, but they are also compensated with things like work/life balance, excellent benefits, and job security. Personally I got tired of the low pay, limited advancement, and lack of flexibility and left, but there are huge tradeoffs (like the benefits and job security) that are easy to ignore if you just look at the salary number.
I'd look at it in terms of total compensation, including things like the job security and other non-monetary aspects, and see how it holds up compared to your other options. Money is nice, but it is not the only factor and it is easy to give it alone too much weight.
You can negotiate other aspects of your compensation package to offset the low pay. Ask for another week of PTO - or ask them to reinstate you with no gap in service if that makes a difference for your leave, 401k match, pension etc. (It should if it's public sector.) They can't give you cash but they can give you something.
This was not my experience when doing hiring in the public sector. Other than the salary band, there just wasn't much to negotiate. Maybe as a previous employee there would be additional factors (like no gap in service) but for a new employee there was nothing I could do other than the starting salary level. I knew of people negotiating unpaid vacation (for previously scheduled trips), but paid time off was not something that I as a manager had any way to provide extra. Additional trainings or conference trips would have been possible if the money was already in the annual budget, but not otherwise. I'm sure there are agencies with a lot more flexibility than what I encountered, so do try to negotiate but just realize that there will be some very sharp limitations to what is on the table to discuss, in ways that don't apply in the private sector.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:43 AM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'd look at it in terms of total compensation, including things like the job security and other non-monetary aspects, and see how it holds up compared to your other options. Money is nice, but it is not the only factor and it is easy to give it alone too much weight.
You can negotiate other aspects of your compensation package to offset the low pay. Ask for another week of PTO - or ask them to reinstate you with no gap in service if that makes a difference for your leave, 401k match, pension etc. (It should if it's public sector.) They can't give you cash but they can give you something.
This was not my experience when doing hiring in the public sector. Other than the salary band, there just wasn't much to negotiate. Maybe as a previous employee there would be additional factors (like no gap in service) but for a new employee there was nothing I could do other than the starting salary level. I knew of people negotiating unpaid vacation (for previously scheduled trips), but paid time off was not something that I as a manager had any way to provide extra. Additional trainings or conference trips would have been possible if the money was already in the annual budget, but not otherwise. I'm sure there are agencies with a lot more flexibility than what I encountered, so do try to negotiate but just realize that there will be some very sharp limitations to what is on the table to discuss, in ways that don't apply in the private sector.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:43 AM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is just life outside of the private sector, I'm afraid. There are pluses and minuses and the major minus is that what they have to offer you is what they have to offer, there is no significant (or any) room for negotiation. I've been working in academia for 12 years and when I switched jobs last time, the hiring manager from the very first phone interview was very up front: the offer is what it is. You can take it or leave it, it's not a comment on the quality of me as a candidate, it's just how institutional bureaucracies operate. I laughed because I was coming from another university and it is, well, universal. I would expect nothing different.
However, the benefits, the work/life balance, the fact that my entire department shuts off our computers at exactly 5 PM every day, and that I will never be downsized in a bid to pump up stock value all more than justify the lower pay. My husband works in the private sector and has held 4 jobs in the same time span as my 2 because the companies he works for downsize, "rightsize", are run by maniacs, outsorce a whole department to India on a whim, etc.... You don't have to deal with that in the public sector. It's downright relaxing.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:07 AM on October 20, 2015
However, the benefits, the work/life balance, the fact that my entire department shuts off our computers at exactly 5 PM every day, and that I will never be downsized in a bid to pump up stock value all more than justify the lower pay. My husband works in the private sector and has held 4 jobs in the same time span as my 2 because the companies he works for downsize, "rightsize", are run by maniacs, outsorce a whole department to India on a whim, etc.... You don't have to deal with that in the public sector. It's downright relaxing.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:07 AM on October 20, 2015
You say there aren't any more perks, but I bet you can get another week or two of PTO, or even unpaid vacation time. Or can you negotiate 1-2 days a week of telecommuting? Or flex hours which would allow you to miss rush hour commuting and give you time before or after work to get to the gym, a class for your own enrichment, or social time? Or what else would help you enjoy the job more?
posted by barnone at 10:08 AM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by barnone at 10:08 AM on October 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
If they're offering you as much as they legally can, that sounds like a compliment to me. If you need to make as much as your private sector counterparts to feel valued or significantly more than your coworkers, there is nothing they can do about that, ever. Maybe you can get a more prestigious title and enjoy the respect of everyone knowing how good you are, but the pay is what the pay is.
What makes it up for me is that my public sector work is important to me. I don't feel like I'm here to make money (past a reasonably comfortable living point) or to make someone else money, I'm here because someone needs to do this, and I'm good at it and like it so it might as well be me. The stability is nice too.
posted by ctmf at 6:54 PM on October 20, 2015
What makes it up for me is that my public sector work is important to me. I don't feel like I'm here to make money (past a reasonably comfortable living point) or to make someone else money, I'm here because someone needs to do this, and I'm good at it and like it so it might as well be me. The stability is nice too.
posted by ctmf at 6:54 PM on October 20, 2015
Seconding barnone - the standard go-to in this situation is to see whether you can get non-monetary compensation: work a 4-day week, work from home, take additional vacation, leave early every day, etc. In all honesty, where everything else in the job is as good as this sounds from a stress and mission perspective, doing that for a 4-day week might be living the dream. Don't forget to take into account the costs of being at work when you do the calculations - the commuting, the extra clothes/dry-cleaning, lunches out, etc.
Get it in writing now.
posted by Miko at 9:12 PM on October 20, 2015
Get it in writing now.
posted by Miko at 9:12 PM on October 20, 2015
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Given that you have several great reasons for accepting the position, your feeling insulted seems to stem from your own ego/ view of other employees at this company. You don't mention why you left the position the first time around, and it's possible that while they do believe your work is good, their opinion may be colored by their experiences with you the first time around and is not in line with your own opinion of your work. They may also sense the resentment and slight condescension that seems to come through in your question.
Short of regular sessions with a therapist with perhaps some sort of CBT to help you value verbal praise over monetary compensation, there may not be a permanent, short-order way to reframe this offer.
As a manager, I would advise you not to accept this offer. You're starting off with bitterness at a company you used to work for, and as with any job, there will be challenges, negative personnel interactions, etc., that will exacerbate these initial feelings of resentment and ultimately would not benefit you or the company. This isn't personal on their end - you're making it so, and by singling out yourself as 'special' you're shooting yourself in the foot with trying to reframe the offer. Since you only mention what the job can offer you, and almost nothing as to what you bring to the position (only an opinion that they have hired a ton of people with little experience or training), I doubt you will successfully be able to enjoy this role long-term.
posted by Everydayville at 10:50 PM on October 19, 2015 [5 favorites]